Abandon

by Moors, Jerusha

  Lucy stiffened, chastened by his words, but nodded her head in agreement. The music came to an end and Aubrey led her to the side of the room where George and Harriet waited. Harriet seized her hand and gave it a squeeze. “How wonderful to be all together,” she said. She turned to Aubrey, giving him an arched eyebrow as if she were an actress waiting for her next line.

  “Indeed, this is a memorable night,” Aubrey dutifully replied while Lucy rolled her eyes, looking out at the couples dancing by. Harriet gave George a subtle nudge and he looked startled.

  “I say, oh, yes, indeed,” George harrumphed. Aubrey looked over at Lucy as she looked out across the room, her body tense as if she itched to get away from him. Harriet gave George another nudge and rolled her eyes toward Lucy. George startled, but understood her unspoken sign.

  “Lady Lucilla, would you please give me the honor of leading you out for the next set of dances?” George gave a little bow while Harriet nodded approvingly at his good manners, if not his willingness to accede to his fiancée’s desires.

  Lucy turned and smiled at George, ignoring Aubrey, and held out her hand for him to lead her out on the floor. Harriet watched, smiling fondly at Aversley, and then turned to Aubrey, taking his arm.

  “I believe that a stroll outside might be acceptable, my lord,” she said. “It is so warm in here after all.”

  Aubrey nodded his head in agreement and led her to the open doors that led outside. Lady Harriet was a true general, marshaling her troops and making her plans. So far, her strategy was right on target. She had brought Lucy into his sphere without her being suspicious.

  Aubrey led Lady Harriet off to the side of the terrace, where they could still see into the ballroom. Only a few other couples were outside and they were further out in the dark, away from the light of the torches and the ballroom.

  Harriet turned and faced Aubrey, her arms crossed across her chest. “Now, my lord, you will tell me your intentions.” She pushed a wayward curl back behind her ear, her body almost quivering as she stared up at Aubrey, squinting in the dim light.

  “My intentions?” Aubrey parroted. “Lady Harriet, my intentions are only good towards Lady Lucilla.” He held both hands out, palms up as if his intentions were in his hands for her to inspect.

  Harriet sniffed, but her body relaxed and she peered into the glass windows of the ballroom as if she could see George and Lucy dancing in the throng.

  “Lucy is my friend. She has stood by me when others jeered at the presumption inherent in my falling in love with Aversley. I would not put her in harm’s way, my lord.”

  “Neither would I, Lady Harriet.” Aubrey did not want to tip his hand at this point, but he would assuage Lady Harriet’s ruffled sensibilities. “I am looking for a wife and Lady Lucilla’s brother’s lands are adjacent to my own. It could be a good alliance for us both.”

  Harriet’s eyes narrowed. “An alliance, my lord? That is all you are looking for?”

  “Perhaps more,” Aubrey said quietly. “But that is up to Lucy.”

  Harriet noticed that he called Lucy by her familiar name, but did not mention it. Instead she said, “Lucy was hurt badly by a man I believe, and then other men, members of the Ton, have tried to take advantage of her. I would not see her hurt again. She is content in her life in the country, but maybe not happy.”

  Aubrey stiffened, bothered by what Harriet said. He spoke before he realized what he was going to say. “I would see her happy.”

  Harriet stepped back, a grin on her face. “Then we are in agreement, Lord Lovell.” She took his arm, tugging him along. “Let us go back in. I want to find Aversley and dance again, unfashionable as that may be.”

  Chapter Eight

  The next morning was cool, but sunny. Lucy waited with Harriet on the steps in front of her home dressed in a deep red riding habit. Harriet was in blue, her cheeks flushed and looking very pretty. She was also nervous.

  “You know I am not much of a rider, Lucy,” she said. “I cannot ride at a gallop. And I don’t want to fall off and have an injury before my wedding.”

  “We’ll take it slow. I’m sure that George has got us two slugs to ride and if the men want to go faster, I will stay with you.”

  Harriet grimaced, uncomfortable and embarrassed at her lack of riding skills. “It’s just as well that George does not love me for my ability on a horse. But you are such a good rider. I do not wish to hold you back. Stay with Lovell as George does not mind riding with me.”

  Now it was Lucy’s turn to grimace, but she did not reply. In truth, growing up in the country as she had, she was an excellent rider. She and Aubrey had roamed the fields of the Yorkshire, often sneaking away together. Her father had given her a beautiful chestnut mare, dainty and skittish, but Lucy had loved her and named her Ophelia. She would ride for hours. Her family hadn't worried. Most times she had a groom with her and otherwise stayed on their own land.

  But those times were long ago and this was different. Lucy had gone along with Harriet’s scheme last night, but there was no need for the playacting to extend much farther. She had slept fitfully, plagued with dreams of Aubrey's firm body and hot hands. There were dark crescents under her eyes and she told herself that it did not matter. She would ride sedately next to Harriet and Lovell could go to the devil. She was not going to let that bloody rake disturb her nights any more. She had put thoughts of him away years ago. She would plod on her horse next to Harriet no matter what anyone said.

  Lucy could still feel the burn of Aubrey’s hand on her waist and the heat of his body as he held her close when dancing the night before. She still breathed in his scent around her, the bergamot and faint male sweat that signified only Aubrey. Damn the man, why couldn’t he leave her alone? True, she had started this by impulsively slapping him on the street, but they must have appeased the gossips in the Ton by now. He had danced with her twice last night and then had led her into supper. He had been marked with his attentions and Harriet had heard ridiculous rumors of a lover’s quarrel that had been smoothed over. So the gossips must have moved on to someone new by now.

  Although when Lucy had suggested this, Harriet had actually tut-tutted her. “No, no,” she had been emphatic. Lucy must continue to suffer Aubrey’s attentions until the wedding had taken place. Clearly, Lucy thought, even Aubrey would not wish to waste his time with her for another few weeks.

  It would be better if Carlisle had returned, but he was still delayed on his estate business. He would distract her from Lovell until she could return home, if the duke ever returned to London.

  “Ah, here they are,” Harriet exclaimed and Lucy looked up to see George and Aubrey approaching on horseback. A groom led two riding horse behind them. One horse was exactly as Lucy had expected, steady and broad, a sedate companion for Harriet. But the other was a lovely mare that brought back memories of Ophelia, dark with white stockings, frisking her tail as she pulled at the leading rein.

  The men dismounted to help the women onto their mounts. “Good morning, ladies.” George was all good bonhomie this morning. “I trust that you slept well,” he addressed Harriet as she beamed a big smile at him and nodded.

  Meanwhile Aubrey approached Lucy and took her hand, a twinkle in his green eyes as he noted her resistance. “A good morning to you, Lady Lucilla. You look lovely as always.” He gave her hand a subtle squeeze while studying her face. In fact, Lucy looked tired and pale, dark circles under her eyes. She did not smile at his overture nor reply, her eyes darting to the mare as she tugged her fingers away from him. His smile faded and his lips tightened, but he gave no other sign that her indifference affected him.

  “Let me help you up onto your mount, my lady.” Lucy looked up then, startled, and turned to look for a mounting block or step that she could use instead. Aubrey put his hands on her waist and lifted her as her head snapped back around, her eyes wide and her mouth round in surprise as her rump landed on the saddle. Aubrey ignored her, instead putting her boot into the stirrup
and pulling the hem of her red habit down over it. Lucy fussed with the reins, trying to ignore the hot imprint of his hands on her waist.

  Aubrey turned to remount his own stallion, a feisty chestnut named Seraph, a grin on his face and his mood restored. He had noted Lucy’s discomfort at his touch which meant that his closeness affected her and that was all in his favor. Meanwhile George had helped Lady Harriet onto her horse and they were ready to set out. Lucy immediately maneuvered to ride next to Harriet, leaving the two gentlemen to ride together. Aubrey casually moved Seraph in front of her, blocking her until George was next to Harriet. Lucy slanted her eyes and shot him a quick look, but followed Aubrey as they rode to the park. She looked all around her, refusing to acknowledge Aubrey on the horse next to her.

  “It’s a beautiful day for a ride.” Aubrey decided to draw her attention. Lucy continued to ignore him, studiously examining the front door of the town house they were passing. “Do you not agree that it is a lovely day, Lady Lucilla?”

  She turned her face towards him, eyes narrowed and lips pursed. “I suppose it is,” she said carelessly, apparently deciding that it was better to humor him.

  “I thought that when we reach the park, you might care for a gallop. Aversley will attend on Lady Harriet.”

  “Perhaps I can stay with Lady Harriet and you might gallop off with Lord Aversley.” Lucy’s tone was sickly-sweet, but Aubrey ignored it.

  “I remember how you used to ride at Wakefield, racing across the fields, your hair streaming out behind you. You loved to race your horse.”

  Lucilla felt his words as a blow to the pit of her stomach. Her face stiffened and she stared straight ahead as she replied, “Perhaps at one time I was careless with my mount, but I have learned to pick more carefully. I am much more sedate now and not willing to take risky chances anymore.” She turned her face towards him. “Those days are long gone. I do not remember them any longer.”

  Aubrey did not betray the clenching in his gut that her words caused, but gave a slight nod, acknowledging that he understood the meaning behind her speech. “You were never careless, Lucy, but perhaps it was I that was irresponsible and certainly reckless. You can inspire a man to that. But I never meant for things to end the way that they did. Believe me when I say that I was duped in a most cruel way, otherwise I would never have left you.”

  Lucy’s face paled even more and she tensed in her saddle. “It matters naught anymore, and never did. A harmless flirtation between two young people was all it was.” She bit her lip and looked away.

  “No, Lucy, it was never a flirtation, and certainly not harmless. I believe that I did great harm and I’d like to make recompense.”

  Two bright spots appeared on Lucilla’s cheeks and she swallowed, trying to regain her composure. Her eyes grew bright and she blinked, trying to stop tears from falling.

  “Lucy, I…” Aubrey wanted to pull her over onto the saddle in front of him and hold her, but they were nearing the entrance to the park.

  “It is nothing, my lord.” Lucy straightened her back even more, her shoulders set and head tilted away from him. She longed to break into a gallop and fly away, but instead bit her lower lip and regained her composure. Aubrey eyed her carefully and sighed, knowing he could say no more. There were too many other people around and he could not be any more indiscreet that he already had been.

  They had to stop at the entrance to the park as more riders and carriages jostled to enter the gates. Aubrey shook his head impatiently. How did anyone expect to get in a good ride? This was not even the busy time as that was later in the day. He longed for Lovell Abbey, the open fields around his home and the clear, fresh air of the north. It had been a long time that he had been home, since the day that he had left Lucy and gone to Italy. He abruptly missed it with a pang that nearly took his breathe away. He wanted, he needed to go home, clear out of the city and its crowds and its dirty air. But he would not go until he could take Lucy with him.

  He followed George and Harriet into the park and it did open up a little. He glanced over at Lucy, silent and composed on her mare, the little red hat that matched her habit perched fetchingly atop her chestnut curls. Their progress was slow. Carriages clogged the drive and groups of people strode the pathways. This is what a sunny morning in London drove people to. And George and Lady Harriet knew so many people that they must constantly stop to greet friends and acquaintances.

  It seemed like they would never proceed, Lucy thought. She longed to move on, away from the gossip and stares of the members of the Ton, but they had paused again, to chat with another group of people who had been walking nearby. Lucy gritted her teeth as Harriet and George dismounted the better to speak with them. The groom took the leads of their horses while they strolled a little apart. Lovell was still on his horse, talking to three men who had ridden up to greet him. She looked around, desperate to get away and abruptly slid from her mount, tossing the reins to the hapless groom. No one noticed as she strode away on a nearby path.

  Chapter Nine

  Aubrey was conversing with Thornton and Blakesley who had rode up with another man, William Smythe, a friend from their club. Blakesley was grousing about the crowds.

  “I told you we should have gone to Green Park. At least there we might have got in a gallop.” The crowded grounds disgusted him.

  Aubrey nodded, his mind on Lucy, knowing that under the circumstances he was not likely to have any private speech with her. He sighed, seeing that George and Lady Harriet were still on the ground laughing with their acquaintances. Harriet was a tentative rider and took any excuse to get off of her horse. They would probably stroll for a while. All at once he realized that Lucy was no longer on her horse and turned his head, looking for her on the ground. The groom noticed him looking and nodded at a path that led down to the Serpentine. Aubrey excused himself from his friends, ignoring the wink that Thornton gave him. He nodded his thanks to the groom and dismounted, passing his reins to the unfortunate groom who was now holding onto five horses.

  He skirted around a small group of ladies who were trying to draw his attention, intent on finding Lucy. It was much less crowded on the path, away from those who thronged the main thoroughfare. He could see the sparkle of water ahead as the path emerged along the water.

  As he came around a corner Aubrey stopped and grinned at the sight ahead of him. How like Lucy. Her boots were lying on the ground and she had looped her habit up over one arm. She was standing on a limb of a tree overlooking the path, reaching up to the next branch. A nursemaid and a young girl were standing nearby, their arms waving frantically as they implored her to be careful. He could see a small grey animal above her head that she was reaching for with care. Aubrey moved circumspectly until he was somewhat under her, just in case he needed to break her fall if the branch gave. He could see her trim ankles and her stockinged feet. Her back arched as she reached above her head, trying to coax the small creature, a kitten mewling piteously as it clung to the branch.

  “Please be careful, my lady,” the nursemaid begged. The little girl, a pretty thing with blonde hair and blue eyes still glistening from tears was jumping up and down in excitement.

  Lucy had finally got the kitten to release its claws from the branch and was cuddling it close to her, one arm looped around the tree. Aubrey judged that he could speak without startling her.

  “Hand it to me and then I will help you down,” he said. Lucy just looked at him, apparently aware that he had been there all along. She reached down with the kitten and placed it in his hand. The kitten immediately latched onto his cuff, digging into the broadcloth with sharp little talons. His valet was not going to be happy when Aubrey returned from this excursion.

  Aubrey took the kitten over to the nursemaid who opened the lid of the basket that was lying by her feet.

  “Oh, thank you, my lord, and my lady. I don’t know what I would have done, but Mary would bring her pet.” Mary was crouching down by the basket peering in at the kitten. Au
brey bent down next to her, aware that Lucy was still in the tree behind him.

  “Well, Mary, Lady Lucilla has rescued your kitten. I think you owe her some thanks.” The little girl stood up and with a careful gravity, curtseyed to both Aubrey and to Lucy, then charmed Aubrey by leaning forward and giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.

  Lucy watched their interaction, pain shooting into her heart and clenching that poor organ in her chest. Aubrey was so kind to the child. The little girl clearly adored him, crediting him for the rescue of her pet even if Lucy had done most of the work. What if, but she shook her head and blinked away the sudden tears.

  Aubrey smiled and then turned to Lucy to help her down. She supposed that she could have swung down without too much trouble, but since he was here she would take advantage. There was a guilty part of her that longed to touch him, but she ignored it. He lifted his arms and clasped her waist while she rested her hands on his broad shoulders. The smile left his face as he looked up at her and his eyes grew hot as he stared silently up at her face. Flustered, Lucy pushed off the branch a little too hard and ended up pushed against his chest. He caught her and gradually let her slide down, her breasts rubbing against his hard torso. She caught her gasp by biting her lower lip and something flared in his eyes, fiery and scalding. Lucy realized that, at least for that moment, he still wanted her and a quiver started deep in her belly. His hands were burning at her waist as she hit the ground and he held her steady when she stumbled a bit.

  Lucy swallowed and stepped away as his hands fell from her. She bent and slipped on her half boots, then fussed at her riding habit, straightening the dishabille and not meeting his eyes. She glanced over at the maid and young girl, kitten safely ensconced in its basket, but they were walking away, so there was no help there.