JennasConsent

by Jennifer Kacey

  Haleigh batted her sweet little eyelashes at her. “Yes but we’re your bitches. Doesn’t that make a difference?”

  Jenna stared at her. Haleigh was normally the quiet one of the bunch. Never cussed before she starting coming to The Library and her men corrupted her in the most delicious ways possible. Amazing how things changed when she finally found two men to love her and fuck her on a semi-around-the-clock basis. “You have a potty mouth, sweet Haleigh.”

  The girl who had been scared of her own shadow the first time she’d walked into Jenna’s prep room winked at her. “I learned from the best.”

  “But that’s just it.” She leaned forward, as much as her steel-boned corset would allow, whispering to the women she called family. “I’m a fraud, a phony. I tell people all the time to take the bull by the horns, but it’s nothing more than just a plain stupid phrase. I followed my own advice and I’m full of shit. This was a bad idea. I—”

  “Calm, honey. Take a breath.” Cyn rubbed her back and thankfully Oscar arrived bearing glasses filled with liquid horny for the rest of them.

  “I don’t think I’ll ever be calm again.” She took another sip and tried to take Cyn’s advice. Melodramatic wasn’t her style. She flirted and winked at everyone, hiding what she was and what she needed so desperately.

  Fuck.

  Three weeks without restful sleep had turned on the faucet of her fears and she couldn’t get the bastard to turn back off.

  “Finish your drink and we’ll make small talk about nothing in particular. Afterward we’ll head down to one of the playrooms you had on your list you needed to set for tonight. We’ll help and you can get some stuff off your chest.”

  Jenna looked at Skye, who was surprisingly subdued. She glanced at the other two girls and then back to Skye.

  “You never talk about it. Never talk about him. I think you should. We all love you and want to give you the same strength you gave us when we were too scared to trust what was inside us.” Skye reached across the table and took her hand.

  Jenna teared up again and closed her eyes.

  She took a deep breath and said, “Okay…” Then drained the rest of her drink.

  Chapter Three

  Jenna hiked up her big-girl panties and pasted on a smile when the girls had also finished their drinks. She went so far as to wink at Oscar as they’d left the bar area. He’d narrowed his eyes at her, making her laugh and feel much more like herself.

  She tried to shut off her thoughts and just…be.

  As they walked down the hallway to the elevator, the other women made small talk and caught up on gossip. Info on members who’d been collared, subs who morphed into switches when the right person or scene presented itself, and new members cast away the silence as they walked. Jenna was sincerely thankful for the company.

  Kinky people in general were highly gossipy. Jenna considered it a known fact and took it all in stride. She laughed a couple times and added her two cents here and there, but mostly just took the time to put her proverbial shields back up.

  By the time they made it downstairs to one of the private playrooms, the freak-out caused by Nick being too close and way too perceptive ebbed away from her.

  She ran her fingers over the boning of her corset, blowing a silent breath into the elevator. Determination straightened her spine. She could handle it and him.

  No doubt about the fact that she found Nick attractive, but that was it. She didn’t have the time or energy for anything else.

  She rolled her eyes at herself.

  Sheesh.

  She made a note on her mental to-do list to get laid more often and grinned at the metal door as she swiped her card. After inputting her password to get inside she pushed the door wide.

  “Who’s the room for?” Haleigh asked as she looked around the open space.

  It was a dungeon, plain and simple. Tall, concrete block walls painted in a matte black, stained concrete floor, bed, sparse furniture with a more than sinister feel to them, and a toy closet holding all sorts of naughty things to play with.

  “Chris and Jared,” Jenna whispered not wanting whomever was manning the security booth to pick up on what she said.

  “Ooh,” Skye and Haleigh cooed in unison.

  “What?” Cyn blurted out, tugging her long blonde ponytail from base to tip. Her cheeks turned a bit pink but she couldn’t hide her grin. “But I’m not supposed to play tonight. The guys told me they had some other things going on and they wouldn’t be up until late.”

  Jenna turned to the other girls. “There’s a rolling tray in the closet with a collection of toys on it. On top should be a folded blue paper sheet. Can you cover the tray with it and then roll it out next to the table in the corner?”

  Skye saluted her then took Haleigh with her toward the toy closet in the far corner.

  Jenna made sure to face away from the cameras and half-covered her mouth. “It’s supposed to be a surprise, so you know nothing.”

  “Know what? I have no clue what you’re talking about.” She tried not to smile but failed. “Now I’m horny. I don’t have a clue what they have planned and I’m all ready to be taken.”

  “Lucky men,” Jenna said.

  “Lucky me,” Cyn countered with a wink of her own.

  Jenna laughed, tugging Cyn into a big hug. “Touché.”

  “Cyn, you are so in for it tonight.” Skye’s lilting voice bounced off the tall ceiling as she and Haleigh rolled the tray out. They left the closet door open as they moved toward the corner.

  Cyn pulled away from Jenna, looking a bit nervous. “What’s on the tray?”

  “Oh my God it’s got—”

  “Not another word, Skylar Evangeline Weston.” Jenna pegged her with a hard stare.

  She and Haleigh left the tray then walked back to where the other two girls stood. “You know you’re the only person I let call me that, right?”

  Jenna kissed her cheek, leaving a big lipstick print on her fair skin. “You like it.”

  “No, I don’t. But somehow I still let you get away with it.”

  Jenna stepped over to the block wall where chains dangled from the ceiling, terminating in black leather wrist cuffs. “You still think you owe me for your Christmas present. But you don’t.”

  “Fuck,” Skye cursed behind her. “I know I still owe you for that. Seriously. Hottest Christmas present ever.”

  Jenna clicked open the hidden panel in the wall, revealing the controls for the chains holding the cuffs that she needed to test. She tested each lock before a scene and each piece of equipment being used to make sure no one got hurt on her watch.

  The girls whispered behind her as she lowered the chains until the cuffs would be at her eye level when she stood back up.

  “Why are you whispering?”

  It was Haleigh who finally spoke up. “Well, Skye’s a bit…concerned.”

  “About?” Jenna looked over the cuffs, testing the chain at the same time.

  “Because Nick was part of your Christmas present to her, along with Jackson.” Who she was still with. “She’s worried part of why you’re so freaked out about Nick is because of what happened between them.”

  Jenna turned around so she could see Skye. True worry reflected back at her. “Sweetie, of course not.” Skye relaxed a bit but Jenna really wanted to make sure she knew not to worry. “That has nothing to do with why I’ve said no to Nick for so long.” She almost started in on the reasoning behind it but decided against it. “Jackson trusted him with you, as did I, or it never would have taken place. He’s hot, he obviously wanted to fuck you and you needed to get laid so damn bad. They’re both Doms with a capital D. Please don’t think anything else about it, okay?”

  Skye smiled, her eyes seemed a bit far off and Jenna winked at the other two girls and turned back to the cuffs she really needed to test before the girls started in on her for—

  “So after months and months of you telling Nick no, today, out of the blue, you told him yes
. And by the what-the-fuck look he had on his face when your conversation started, it was definitely out of the blue.”

  Jenna wrinkled her nose at the wall, trying to think of a way to tell them something so they’d drop it. She just didn’t want to have some girly heart-to-heart. Her little feelers were still raw and rubbing them again didn’t sound like a day at the spa.

  “Uh-huh. It’s really no big deal, just need to let off some stream.” She shrugged, knowing how full of shit she sounded but unable to do anything about it.

  The girls shared glances, and she caught them when she looked over her shoulder. Interestingly they remained silent.

  “What?” Jenna asked.

  “You just locked your own wrist in that set of cuffs…”

  She looked up and yeah, Haleigh was right. She was halfway to locked and loaded.

  Her thighs twitched, her breasts nearly swelled over the top of the corset on each shallow breath. She was halfway to subspace already just with Nick’s name being mentioned.

  So much for her, I am an island and can totally handle this without being affected. Totally.

  “Well—fuck.” She smacked her head against the wall, wondering if she’d forget who she was if she hit it a few more times. Or even better, forget that there were any men named Nick or Ian. “Double fuck.” Him too? She whacked her head a couple more times but it didn’t help. “Will one of you go get the master key out of the closet?”

  Skye came up beside her, already reaching for her cuffed wrist. “One step ahead of you.”

  She took her arm down and Skye returned the key to the closet.

  “Now we need to—”

  “Oh no, we’re not letting you off the hook that easy.”

  “Maybe we should have just locked her other wrist in.” Haleigh glanced around the room. “There’s a spanking bench. I bet the three of us could take her. If we get a gag in her mouth fast enough.” She made air quotes. “We aren’t technically violating her consent.”

  All of them laughed, since the suggestion came from Haleigh. They took Jenna over to the king-size bed, everyone took off their shoes and they sat her in the middle. Skye and Haleigh moved in beside her and Cyn lay on her stomach across the bottom.

  Jenna stared at Haleigh a bit shocked. “Of the three of you, I would have put money on at least you being on my side.”

  Haleigh locked eyes with her. “I know pain and I know hiding. Putting your head in the sand will only keep your demons away for so long. It’s not a way to live, Jenna. If existing is all you’re looking for, then… Yeah, that’s just not good enough for me anymore and it’s not good enough for any of you either. We might be the fairer sex but we deserve happiness. And not just fits and starts of it either. Heap-big loads of it.”

  “Says the girl who’s been collared by two amazing men.”

  Sincere joy radiated from Haleigh’s smile. She touched the collar around her neck, tearing up at the mere mention of it. After a couple seconds she put her arm down, brushing Jenna’s thigh.

  “Oh shit,” popped out of Jenna’s mouth and she jerked away from the contact. So much for nonchalance…

  “You’re wound tighter than an eight-day clock. You need to relax in the worst of ways. And you need to talk to us.”

  Skye’s cool hand slid under Jenna’s hair, gripping her neck. Jenna sighed, dropping her head forward. While Skye massaged her neck, Haleigh took her closest hand and rubbed her fingers and her palm, syphoning away some of the tension. Cyn pushed Jenna’s knees wide to sit in between them. She ran lazy fingers up and down the outside and inside of her legs.

  Jenna mmmm’d her thanks, pretty certain she was going to start drooling on herself. Sexual tension hummed in the air between the four of them, which was a very welcome distraction.

  Cyn’s voice permeated the quiet space all around them but she spoke low so hopefully whoever was manning the command center wouldn’t be able to hear. “Are you really that nervous to be with Nick? He’s hot, don’t get me wrong but it’s more than that. I hadn’t seen it before he manhandled you in the bar. You’re different with him. Can’t believe I’ve never picked up on it before but it’s definitely there.”

  Jenna hid in the curtain of her hair, taking the opportunity to share a bit without having to blab it all in the light of day, as it were.

  “Yes and no. He’s gorgeous and I’ve wanted him forever. I totally missed the mark on how much he wants to dominate me.” She shook her head. “I thought I could scratch an itch with him. And maybe I still can, but Lordy. I’ve never sunk into space so low and or so fast as I did just thinking about Nick tying me. When the word rope came out of his mouth I seriously thought I was going to come right then.”

  “First off,” Haleigh said as she moved to Jenna’s other hand. “Is he into that? Rope?”

  Jenna shrugged, focusing on the touch of each of her friends, taking comfort in each of them. “I’m not certain. But his energy was off-the-charts incredible when he talked about seeing the rope marks on me. I can feel it now, just thinking about it. Holy shit it was intense. It normally takes a rope person to really get that connection. I have a rope blog I started a couple years ago called Aftercare. It’s a lot about safety and the emotional side of rope and other kinds of bondage. Just my thoughts. The last few posts I’ve made have been about that connection and how much I miss it. The thought of having that again, even if just for a short amount of time is intense.” She wouldn’t say it out loud but fuck. He scared the shit out of her.

  Cyn cleared her throat, dragging her nails lightly down the outside of her thighs. “I know I’m really new to all of this but it’s not really pain, like whips or a paddle. So how do you sink into subspace with it? And the blog. Why the hell didn’t you tell us about this before?”

  “I’ve been a chickenshit about sharing emotional stuff for a while. But I want to be better with you girls. You share so much with me and I want it to be two-sided. I’ll send you guys the link tomorrow so you can check it out. Maybe you might want to contribute to it? Make a real go of it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Definitely.”

  “Duh.”

  Jenna chuckled as they all answered and she relaxed. Telling them about the blog wasn’t as hard as she’d thought it would be.

  “And the rope?” Haleigh prompted. “How is that intense? I’ve never really seen it before other than the corset you tied on me.”

  Jenna gathered her thoughts and tried to put it in a way they would be able to grasp easily from some kind of shared experience. “There’s no pain or a hell of a lot of pain, depending on the type of rope you’re getting, who’s doing the tying and with what. The type of knots can either relieve pressure or put additional tension on your body. The number of lines if you’re suspended makes a huge difference. Lower number of lines the higher the pain because you aren’t spreading the load over a higher surface area. Duration of time suspended makes it harder to breathe. Blood pools in your limbs, increasing sensation play.”

  Cyn tilted her head. “And you said the kind of rope makes a difference. How so?”

  “Jute is somewhat soft. Especially compared to something like coconut, which is stiff and scratchy. How long the rope’s been used in general makes a difference too. The more you use a set of rope the softer it will become. Truly there’s a laundry list of different things that can change the energy in the scene. Just like any kink. But it’s the submission of it that draws you under, tugging you down into the emotion of the rope. Especially the emotions of the two or more people in a scene together. It can change it for the audience too.”

  Skye squeezed her neck one last time and dropped her arm. Jenna looked up and Skye made a face. “I’m close but I still don’t get it.”

  A light bulb went off in Jenna’s head as she saw Cyn kneeling between her legs, her hands on her thighs.

  “How do each of you feel when one of your men puts you on your knees? Even as simple as them telling you to get on your knees and yo
u put yourself there. You submit to them. You give over your control to them. No pain—or normally not a lot in it, unless they’re making you kneel on Legos or something else equally sadistic. All you’re doing is following a simple physical command, right? Yet somehow, it’s everything in that moment.”

  A collective sigh filtered throughout each member of the group.

  “Exactly. It’s the same thing when I’m in rope. But so much better. Everything’s just more when I’m in rope.” She rubbed her fingers together, knowing exactly how the processed jute would feel if she had a hank of it in her hands. “There are hundreds of little thoughts rolling in my head all the time. But when I’m in rope the entire world just goes away.”

  Cyn spoke as she moved her thumb in slow circles on her shin. “It almost sounds like a religion.”

  “For some people I bet it is. For me it’s humbling. The feeling I get when I’m suspended somewhere between heaven and Earth—it’s divine in many ways.”

  “I know what you mean.” Haleigh looked at Jenna and her mocha-brown eyes sparkled in the lights around the room. “When you tied that rope corset on me for my first night in the club it was amazing.”

  “She tied you?” Skye’s voice got louder on every word. They all shushed her and she leaned forward. “How the fuck did I miss that?”

  Jenna bit her bottom lip, knowing she’d slipped up with Skye there and she tried to distract her. “It was during your hiatus trying to be vanilla.”

  Skye waved her hands in the air, wafting that thought away like a fart in the wind. “You tied her? Really?”

  Now or never. “Yes, I did.”

  “Why is that a big deal?” Haleigh wanted to know.

  “Woo hoo!” Skye exclaimed, adding several fist pumps, as if her bouncing on the bed didn’t give away her excitement. “Wait, does that mean you’re self-suspen—”

  Jenna clapped a hand over her mouth, motioning with her head toward the camera in the corner of the room. Some secrets were only safe with your girlfriends.

  Skye dragged her hand off her mouth, “Sorry. Are you, you know, again?”