JennasConsent

by Jennifer Kacey

  The owners of Shiver put on a rope bondage educational expo, bringing in riggers from around the globe. Nawa was one of them. They met, Ian introduced them and they’d had an instantaneous connection.

  Nothing sexual, but an energy. A rope-based energy, as if they were kindred spirits truly meant to be family.

  She was blessed to be a part of his family. With no blood tying them together she knew his affection for her was genuine. No obligation held him to her. Only love and understanding.

  “Any women in your town would be happy to hear your stories and would look at you with awe and wonder.”

  “And they would be asleep in minutes.”

  She laughed. “What? Are you losing your touch?”

  “No. I am just that good.”

  Jenna laughed, using the lull in conversation to run the drill, pulling on one section of strands as she twisted them to give them strength. Then she reversed the direction to secure everything together, turning strands of silk and hemp and linen into something wholly different.

  Something beautiful and strong.

  “The last time you were here, you weren’t doing very well. Are you faring better now?”

  She couldn’t help but think of her last trip to see him. It had been a couple years after Ian had broken her heart.

  Time had passed and she hadn’t started to heal. She’d fled the country to get away from him, the memory of him, not knowing how much of him she would carry with her.

  Still did.

  She’d been lost, but Nawa pulled her through.

  He made her work each day, physical labor to keep her body engaged and her mind busy. He’d taught her new rope ties and a few rope processing techniques he’d picked up over the years.

  He’d let her grieve for what she’d lost and for what would never be. He’d helped her heal.

  As much as she was able to at least.

  “Magomusume, are you still strength training? Running?”

  “Two stage workout right now, since I’m not training for a tough mudder. Running in the morning when I can fit it in. Extra cardio several times a week.”

  “What about rope? Are you practicing?”

  “Yes. I tie almost every day when I’m at home.”

  “Suspension?”

  “If I have a spotter.”

  “Good—”

  He almost said something else and Jenna cringed, trying to shake off the need for the words but knowing what they did to her.

  “Tying others? Have you found your center again?”

  She removed the hooks on one end of her rope, tied it off, then repeated the knotting on the first end after cutting them off the handle. She released the ropes and they unwound, bouncing back, holding the shape the drill had formed into them.

  That was what she’d strived for over the past couple years. To find her natural shape again.

  She coiled the rope, tucking the end around the middle wraps to hold it all together. The other hanks she’d made earlier sat in a pile on her kitchen table. She added her new rope to the stack, then started another one.

  “I have a friend, Oscar, he’s a bartender at The Library. Great guy, gay, no threat to my sanity most days. He’s my spotter. He knows some of what I’ve been through but not everything. I’m thinking about asking him. I tied a corset on a friend of mine not too long ago. A breast cancer survivor. Loved putting rope on her. So I think I’m ready to really go after it again.”

  “Any safety concerns? Are you going to suspend in your house or at the club?”

  “I actually suspended a couple nights ago. At the club. First time on the custom frame. It was perfect.”

  He said nothing for a second. “Is that what has happened that you are reaching out to me now? Today of all days, but like any other?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then I am thankful for whatever has shifted inside you. This is part of who you are and I hope you will share your gift with others.”

  “I’m bottoming to someone.”

  “Who?”

  “He’s a Dungeon Master at The Library. His name is Nick. It’s for a month. What we’ve agreed to is for a month. Our first session was a bit rough, so I…uh…self-suspended afterward. Without a spotter.”

  Sucked to own up to things that would get her in trouble, but she didn’t want to lie to him. “I had my safety cutters with me, within reach, and my second emergency blade tucked in my corset.”

  “Many things can still go wrong. You of all people know that.”

  “Yes, Nawa. I know. I’m sorry. It was foolish and I wasn’t thinking clearly because I was scared.”

  “Of what? Of tying at the club?”

  “No. Of letting my guard down with, Nick. He sees too much.”

  “Ahh. This I know a bit about. So did you let your guard down?”

  “He found me when I was pretty floaty. He’s good with rope. I meant to ask you if you knew him. He got me down, knew his way around suspension lines and working ends of the rope even when he hadn’t tied it. He made me cuddle afterward, onstage.”

  “You say that as if it is a curse word.”

  “That’s not what this was supposed to be about.”

  “What? Sex only? No emotion? Because that is how you want it? He is your top. You are trusting him to take care of your body. Maybe he knows better than you what care your body needs. What your mind needs. Your heart.”

  “I don’t even know what my heart needs.”

  “Then follow it and it will guide you.”

  “But it steered me wrong last time.”

  “Did it really?”

  Utter silence and she had no idea how to respond to that.

  Of course it had. Hadn’t it?

  She sank onto her recliner, not knowing where to begin to figure that one out.

  “You have blossomed into a beautiful, strong, talented woman. Very different than the withdrawn girl I met so many years ago. You are successful, happy and with multiple projects in the works if I know you at all. You found who you were meant to be. Self-discovery comes at a price, if it is worth it. Was it worth it, mago?”

  “I don’t know.” It leapt from her mouth before she could call it back and she stopped rocking the chair. She leaned back against the cushions, closing her eyes and gave her inner pessimist a what the fuck face. If he hadn’t asked it the way he did, she would have given anyone else an emphatic “not worth it”. But…

  It was the but she was so stuck on.

  A knock on Jenna’s front door startled her out of her reflection.

  “Nawa, someone is here. I’ll let you go so you can go to sleep. I’ll talk to you later?” She unfolded her legs to stand.

  “Anytime you need me, I’ll be here.”

  “Love you.”

  “Hai. You too.”

  She ducked below the second rope in progress and disconnected the phone call. She opened her front door at the same time. “Hey, Oscar, come in. Oohhh…”

  He stepped over the threshold with new ink on his left shoulder and biceps.

  “New ink, you bum. At Inkfluence?” The tattoo shop Scott owned, where Kyle, Duke and Oscar all worked.

  “I’m sure as hell not going anywhere else.”

  She looked at it. He had a mustang horse and a dragon in black and gray. Good work. “Who did it?”

  “Duke.”

  The spiky-haired Dom with his sights on Jillian, Kyle’s sister.

  “I’ve been toying with the idea of getting something.”

  “No joke?”

  “Serious. And I’ll want you to do it when I decide. Just don’t know what I want yet. Want it to be special, you know?”

  He glanced at his shoulder and nodded. “I definitely get that.”

  She walked around him, checking it out from different angles. She was about to ask about the significance of his choices—

  “What the fuck are you doing? It’s like you’re toilet papering your own living room.” He ran his palm over the strands. “
Wait. This is rope. Are you making rope? As in, really really making it?”

  “Yep.”

  “You’ve been holding out on me. And you are a badass.”

  Jenna smiled. Leave it to Oscar to make her feel good and that there wasn’t anything to hide. Not anymore.

  Now or never…

  “So, you know how I suspend myself?”

  He looked at her, being serious for a moment. “Yes.”

  “I was wondering if you’d consider bottoming for me.”

  “As in, you’d suspend me?”

  “Exactly. The ties for a guy are a bit different since you don’t have—”

  “Tits.”

  “Not one to beat around the bush, are you?”

  “Ha! You should know by now I don’t ever beat around the bushes. Pretty sure I’m allergic.”

  They laughed and Jenna got back to running strands back and forth across the room. Oscar grabbed a soft drink from the fridge and sat down to watch her.

  “Have you suspended guys before?”

  “Yes, when I was in Japan I learned how to suspend both. I like both. Physiologically the sexes are different, but flexibility and how the bodies move are different as well.”

  He watched her spin the rope, twisting it into shape with the power drill. “Who knows you do rope?”

  “Tie or actually make it?”

  “Both.”

  “Skye knows everything. We’ve been best friends for years. The girls know most of it. Chris and Jared know a little bit. Nick knows quite a bit now. I suspended at the club last night.”

  “I heard.”

  “Bunch of damn gossips down there.” She barked at him but bit her lip.

  “Everyone was talking about it today. They want to see it.”

  She knotted the ends of the rope and coiled it. “I think I’m ready to share it with everyone. I’ve hidden it for so long and I think I’m done. Hiding that is. So if you’re willing to work with me, I’d really like to have your help.”

  She’d kept everything about rope under wraps. Not wanting to share it. Not wanting to remember what interrupted her rope journey. But it was as much a part of her as breathing.

  He stood and walked over to her, hugging her with his good arm.

  “Whatever you need from me, I’m there.”

  “Excellent and if the scene involves CBT you’re cool with that too?”

  “You just sounded like the guy in the white van telling me you have candy and puppies inside. What’s CBT? As if I really want to know.”

  “Cock and ball torture.”

  He cringed and she smiled against his chest, not able to keep from laughing.

  “What? Not into that fetish? What are friends for?”

  “Red!”

  “Ha.” She laughed, hugging him close.

  The time to fully take her life back dawned on the horizon and for the first time in a long time, excitement raced through her veins, drowning out the fear.

  Chapter Twelve

  Jenna’s arms were sore as she prepared one of the playrooms for Jillian. Being Kyle’s sister could have made things weird but it seemed they afforded each other enough personal space to make it work.

  The siblings had been estranged for a while, but when they finally reconnected he learned her proclivities paralleled his in many ways. He actually nominated her for membership at The Library.

  It had come through several weeks prior and she’d become a full member.

  But she wasn’t some shrinking violet. In fact, she was the furthest thing from a submissive Jenna had ever seen.

  She was a wicked top and preferred female subs. Her gender preference may have worked in her and Kyle’s favor. Both of them liking same-sex partners seemed to give them some even ground to bond over. Jenna stretched her shoulders, alternately plumping her breasts toward the middle in her light pink corset. She had a short white skirt on to go with it, and spiky pink heels.

  She bent over again, trying to concentrate on checking the locks on the spanking bench they’d moved to the center of the open space. Cyn glancing her way every two seconds made it pretty fucking hard to concentrate.

  “Spit it out, Cyn. You’re about to explode if you keep it in any longer.”

  “Thank God.” She dropped whatever she was doing on the far wall, walked over and straddled the spanking bench so her crotch was right at Jenna’s eye level. “I heard a rumor.”

  Jenna smirked, wondering how bad it was going to be. She even looked behind her once to see how far away the door was. “And that would be?” Maybe she could make a run for it.

  “That Nick planned a ménage for you and it happened last night in a room right down the hallway here.”

  “And if that were true…”

  “Woo hoo,” she whooped and fist-pumped the air. “Damn that’s sexy. How was it?”

  “It felt like Ian.” The words tripped out of her mouth. She couldn’t get them out fast enough.

  “What did?”

  “Whoever the second guy was.” She stood up, giving up on checking the locks because she couldn’t get her hands to stop shaking.

  “But it wasn’t him, was it?”

  “Well, no. I mean I never saw him. I was blindfolded. I caught a glimpse of his cock for a few seconds, but that was it. Damn it was like it really was him. It made the experience…amazing.”

  “But the ménage part, Jenna? I know it’s your first time. Pretty hot, huh?” Cyn’s naughty grin caught her off guard.

  “You should know. You get double-dicked to your heart’s content every night.”

  “Yes, I do, but you’re in a bit of a different mental space than I was.”

  “What you went through is so much harder than what I went through. I’m not going to whine about it.” Talking about what she felt just seemed ridiculous when she tried to think about it rationally.

  “What I experienced was different from you. That’s it.” Cyn fingered her collar and then grabbed the lock on Jenna’s collar, making sure she couldn’t turn around. “You’ve been there for me. Thick and thin. I want to return the favor.”

  Her eyes were so sincere and Jenna thanked her lucky stars for like the millionth time that Jared and Chris had such great taste in women.

  “It confused me.”

  “What did?”

  “Last night. Before, when I was with Ian, the reason he left is because I wanted a ménage. Nothing permanent though.” She shook off that thought, unwilling to even entertain the notion as a possibility. “Just something fun and sexy.”

  “Oh, Jenna.” She took her hand, making it easier for her to continue.

  “I’m anxious about all of it. How much I liked it. And I didn’t have anal sex last night. No double penetration. But it was seriously some of the hottest sex I’ve ever had. I was a mess afterward.”

  Cyn was deep in thought for a second. “Is Nick here? I expected him to be around, growling at everyone who got close to you but I haven’t seen him tonight.”

  Jenna pointed toward the corner of the room where a couple wires dangled. “The camera in here needed to be changed to some kind of new-fangled something or other and he was missing some integral piece of doobie or other to upgrade it. He’ll be back tomorrow, actually. Had to drive somewhere into Missouri to get what they needed instead of having it shipped. He asked if I wanted to go.” She rolled her eyes. “Pretty sure laughing hysterically in his face wasn’t the answer he was looking for.”

  “You just needed a bit of space. He’s not going anywhere and maybe this was his way of giving you a bit of space. You know. Like a reboot period after what happened last night.”

  “Maybe.” When Cyn put it like that it made Jenna feel better. Good friends were worth their weight in spanking benches.

  Unwilling to talk about her messed-up head anymore, she changed subjects. “The new head of security is supposed to come down with your guys in a little bit to talk about something to do with the thumb print readers.”

 
“Have you met him yet?”

  Jenna shook her head. “Nope. I‘m surprised actually, since I think everyone else has.”

  “He’s making his rounds, I’m sure. He always seems busy.”

  “What’s he like? I don’t even think I’ve asked, which isn’t like me.”

  “You’ve been a bit occupied, I believe. Umm… He’s tall, handsome, broody. Dominant, like most of the other guys around here. Pretty eyes. He’s done a lot of great things around the club that needed to be done. He sure came highly recommended. Hopefully he’ll work out.”

  Cyn put her hand back down on the bench and her engagement ring sparkled. Jenna touched the stone, wondering what it would be like to be loved so much by two men.

  How two highly dominant men could love her so completely and still share her and give her what she needed. Jenna had a hard time wrapping her head around it.

  Instead of asking her anything about that, Jenna switched topics again.

  “Have you given any thought to the idea I talked to you guys about the other night?”

  “Have I ever. I’m running numbers now. I’ve even started three spreadsheets.”

  “You must be happy then.”

  “Sooooo. Happy.”

  “Have you talked to the guys about it?”

  “Of course.”

  Jenna loved that she kept nothing from the guys anymore. They were a unit, a team, a family. She hoped she could have that too someday.

  “They’re fully behind the idea. They’ve even offered to be my financial backers for my part of the startup.”

  “That’s awesome.”

  “Fuck that. I mean yes it’s nice but I have my own money saved up. I want to do this part on my own. Having their support is amazing and I know they’re there if I need anything, but…”

  “But what?” Jenna ran fingers through Cyn’s blonde hair, making her sigh.

  “It’s like my whole life was on hold until I gave myself to C and J. I existed, got through all of my day-to-day life stuff, but it was just empty. With their love, The Library, you girls and this new Nice and Knotty Boutique we’re thinking about opening, it’s as if my life has finally started.”