The Betrayer

by Kimberley Chambers

  ‘Maria, it’s us. Open the bloody door. We’re parched and frozen stiff standing out here.’

  Finding some inner strength, she wriggled like an eel as she tried to unclamp his hand from over her mouth.

  ‘Stay there. I swear, Maria, if you say or do anything, I’ll fuckin’ kill yer.’

  Maria’s friends didn’t know what to do. They thought they’d heard her shout, but they didn’t know her well enough to intrude into her private life. Maybe she was arguing with her husband.

  As Maria heard the footsteps fade away, she wailed like a wounded animal.

  Dragging her up with him, Tommy peeked out of the curtain. The coast was clear. Turning to her, he smiled and gently moved her hair out of her pretty face. Her eyes were red raw and her vulnerability made him, all of a sudden, love instead of hate her.

  ‘I’m sorry for what I made you do earlier, Maria. I’m sorry for the names I called you as well. I don’t hate you, I love you, I always have. Leave James and we’ll run off together. I’ll treat you like a queen, I promise.’

  Maria couldn’t stop shaking. He was completely off his head.

  Being an inch away from her was too much for Tommy to bear. He could smell the cleanness of her skin, feel her heart beating in rhythm with his. Dragging her back on to the floor, he ripped his own clothes off and smothered her in kisses.

  ‘You know you want it,’ he panted.

  In spite of her wildly flailing arms and legs, Maria was unable to get him off her. As he forced himself inside her, she screamed with anger and pain.

  ‘No, Tommy, no! Why are you doing this? Please, Tommy, don’t do this to me, please, I beg you.’

  Tommy hadn’t planned to rape her, but couldn’t stop himself. He had to feel himself inside her once again, as he had done many moons ago.

  ‘Tell me I’m better than James. Tell me you love me!’ he screamed, as he came like a steam train.

  Maria lay perfectly still while he pulled himself out of her and stood up. He’d done the worst thing that he could possibly do to her and her life was ruined, she was sure of that.

  Aware of the look of disgust on her face, Tommy calmly finished his Scotch and got dressed. ‘I’d best be going now,’ he said politely.

  She didn’t answer, she couldn’t.

  He crouched down next to her. ‘You’d better get dressed and pull yourself together. What time you gotta pick the kids up?’

  Remembering her daughters, Maria turned her head and glanced at the clock. She didn’t have to pick them up until three. The time was now half past one and her ordeal had lasted for over two hours.

  Tommy tried to help her up.

  ‘Leave me alone,’ she said viciously.

  He shrugged his shoulders. ‘Look, let’s not be enemies, eh? It’s not as though we haven’t done it before, is it?’

  Maria huddled her knees to her chest and turned her back to him. Was he that fucked up in the brain that he didn’t realise he’d just raped and tortured her for the past two hours?

  ‘Just go, will you?’ she said.

  Tommy walked towards the door. Pausing, he leaned against it. ‘Let’s not make this awkward, Maria. You broke my heart and took my bruvver away from me, so let’s call it quits now, shall we? I won’t bovver you any more, I promise.’

  Maria looked at him in amazement. She was waiting for him to laugh, but the nutter was actually serious. Feeling her inner strength return, she snarled at him, ‘I hate you, Tommy Hutton, like I’ve never hated anyone before. And do you know what? I hope you rot in fucking hell.’

  Tommy knew she wasn’t joking. Determined to have the last word, he walked towards her and crouched down beside her.

  ‘A word of warning, sweetheart. One word to Jimmy boy and I’ll tell him everything. Not only will I tell him that I took your virginity, I’ll also tell him that you’ve been gagging for a repeat performance for years and you begged me to come round here today. Understand what I’m saying, Maria?’

  Maria gathered some spittle in her mouth and spat it straight in his face.

  ‘Drop dead, you sicko.’

  FORTY

  As the front door slammed, Maria stood up and put on her dressing gown. A tear rolled down her cheek, and she fiercely wiped it away. The girls had to be picked up soon and she had no time to wallow in self-pity. She quickly tidied the room. Picking up the broken vase, she plugged in the Dyson and vacuumed the carpet.

  Satisfied that every sign of his visit had been wiped away, she poured herself a large glass of wine. She couldn’t stop shaking and her hands wouldn’t do as they were told. She ran a bath and tested the temperature. The water was boiling, but she didn’t care – the hotter it was, the cleaner she’d feel. She was desperate to get rid of the scent of him, her skin smelled of his sweat. She winced as she lowered herself in. Picking up James’s rough sponge, she covered it with liquid soap and ferociously scrubbed herself. The pain was immense, but it was much better than smelling that bastard on her. She thought about James. She couldn’t tell him or anyone else what had happened. She would keep it a secret and try and carry on as normal.

  Hearing her phone ring, she jumped out of the bath. It was probably her friends wondering why she hadn’t been at home.

  ‘Hello.’

  ‘All right, babe? How did the lunch go? Are the girls still there?’

  The sound of her husband’s wonderful voice was too much for Maria to deal with. Aware of the tears streaming down her face, she tried to put on the most normal voice she could muster. ‘Can I call you back later, James? I’m really busy at the moment.’

  ‘No probs, babe, ring us back when you’ve picked the girls up from school.’

  James ended the call and smiled at Freddie. ‘She sounded a bit weird. I bet she’s got half-pissed with her mates and don’t want me to know. She’s turning into a right Essex girl, she is.’

  Freddie chuckled. ‘Who was coming round for lunch?’

  James shook his head. ‘Fuck knows. Some old birds she met down the gym, I think. I don’t take a lot of notice, they’re right up their own arses where we live. You know what women are like, though. Maria’s desperate to impress. She’s driven me mad all fuckin’ week; I’ve had to help her decide on the menu, pick the wine and all sorts. I wouldn’t mind: she’s a terrible cook, she’ll probably fucking poison ’em.’

  Freddie laughed. ‘Sarah’s the same. With us being the breadwinners, these women have got too much time on their hands.’

  James agreed. ‘I’m gonna put me foot down, cut her allowance back so she has to curb it,’ he joked.

  Maria poured herself another drink and mentally checked her story. The girls needed an explanation and she had to quickly think of one. She didn’t want to lose the only local friends she had. Picking up the phone, she rang Lavinia.

  ‘Lavinia, I am so, so sorry. I had one drama after another this morning and I had to rush out to deal with a family crisis. Not thinking straight, I forgot my phone, which is why I couldn’t call you to cancel.’

  Lavinia didn’t believe a word. She’d heard Maria’s voice and she’d heard noises coming from inside the house. Furious at being lied to, she decided to make things as awkward as possible for her so-called friend.

  ‘Maria, your car was on the drive and I heard somebody inside the house.’

  Maria bit her lip. Fuck, she thought. What was she meant to say now? She hadn’t prepared herself for this bit. Thinking of the first thing that came into her mind, she blurted out any load of old rubbish.

  ‘My cousin was indoors. She’s a complete lunatic, an alcoholic. Her son’s teacher had been on the phone, he’d broken his leg at school and been rushed to hospital. My cousin was too out of it to sit with him, so I took her car and went there for her. I rang her from the hospital payphone to get her to call you, but she was that drunk, she couldn’t find my mobile. I’m really sorry, Lavinia. Could you explain what happened to the other girls for me? Families, eh? Who’d have ’em?’

>   Lavinia said her goodbyes and ended the call. Within seconds, she rang her friend, Polly. ‘The lying fucking bitch,’ she said vehemently.

  Maria chucked on a tracksuit and blow-dried her hair. She had no choice other than to put today out of her mind and act as though nothing had happened. Maybe God was paying her back for not being truthful to James. She’d hidden the truth for years and had always expected to receive her comeuppance one day. She checked her appearance in the mirror. Satisfied that she looked fairly normal, she grabbed her handbag. It was time to pick the girls up from school.

  In the heart of the East End, Maureen was also having a stressful day. She’d caught young Johnny drinking and smoking what looked like wacky baccy in his bedroom that morning. Furious, she’d read him the riot act.

  ‘I’m not having you living under my roof if you’re gonna go down the same slippery slope as your mother. You’ve got a great future in front of you, Johnny, and I know you’re upset about your mum, but acting like her ain’t gonna bring her back. For fuck’s sake, pull yourself together.’

  Not used to his nan shouting at him, Johnny felt sorry for himself. ‘It’s no wonder I’m going off the rails, is it? Look at my parents. A dead, junkie mum and a dad who promises to ring me, then doesn’t. All I’ve got is you, and you ain’t gonna live forever, are you?’

  Maureen hugged him and tried to cheer him up by turning his question into a joke. ‘Thanks a bleedin’ lot. What am I? On me way out, or something?’

  Johnny calmed down. ‘Sorry, Nan.’

  ‘I know it’s hard, love, but you must try to get back to normal. Promise me you’ll go back to work next week. And what about your football? You ain’t even been training. You’re the star player; just think how the team must be missing you.’

  Johnny nodded. ‘I know you’re right. I’ll ring me boss and tell him I’ll be back on Monday and I promise I’ll go football training tomorrow night as well.’

  Maureen smiled. ‘That’s my boy. Now, you can’t stay cooped up in this room forever, so why don’t you go out and get some fresh air or pop round and see one of your mates. He was a lovely boy that Gazza who came to the funeral. Ring him and go out for a pint with him.’

  Johnny nodded. ‘I’ll ring him now.’

  Maureen stroked his cropped hair. ‘You best have a bath before you go anywhere – you’re chucking up a bit, and so are those bedclothes.’

  Johnny sniffed under his arms. ‘You’re right, I am chucking up. Thanks, Nan, for everything.’

  Relieved that she’d finally gotten through to him, Maureen went downstairs to make some lunch.

  Ethel was upset over Johnny. ‘Poor little fucker! As soon as he goes out, you wanna ring that no-good old man of his and give him a right fucking earful.’

  As Johnny walked down the stairs, Maureen warned her to keep her big mouth shut.

  ‘Oh, look, look at him, don’t he look mint?’ Ethel crowed.

  ‘You look all handsome again now,’ Maureen told him. ‘I’ll make you a nice clean bed up while you’re out.’

  Embarrassed by all the attention, Johnny couldn’t wait to get out of the door.

  ‘I’m going round Gazza’s. I won’t be late.’

  Within a minute of him leaving, Maureen was on the phone to his father. ‘That boy needs you, Royston, and I don’t care how busy you are, you get your arse down here at the weekend to see him.’

  Royston sighed. ‘It’s not that I don’t wanna see him. I’ve told you before that things are awkward with Candy. She’s already made plans for us and she’ll make my life hell if I disappear at the weekend.’

  Sitting next to Maureen on the sofa, Ethel was able to hear his reply. ‘’Ere, give us that fuckin’ phone,’ she said, as she snatched it out of her daughter-in-law’s hand.

  ‘Royston, it’s Ethel. Now, you listen to me. If you don’t get your arse down ’ere this weekend, Tommy or James will come to your house and fuckin’ drag you down feet first. Do you understand what I’m sayin’, boy?’

  Royston understood all right. ‘I’ll be down on Sunday morning. Tell Johnny I’ll pick him up at eleven.’

  Ethel winked at Maureen. ‘And don’t just think this is a one-off Royston – you’ll be seeing him regularly from now on, if yer know what I mean.’

  Royston took a deep, nervous breath. ‘Yes, Mrs Hutton.’

  As Ethel ended the call, she roared with laughter. ‘That told the bastard, didn’t it?’

  Maureen shook her head. ‘He’s our Johnny’s dad – yer shouldn’t have threatened him, Mum.’

  ‘Fuck him,’ Ethel cackled.

  Over in Leytonstone, a paranoid Tommy was sitting alone in a pub that he rarely used. After attacking Maria, he’d bought some more gear and gone home to celebrate the occasion. Problem was, when he got there, he couldn’t relax. Deep down, he was 99 per cent positive that Maria wouldn’t tell James, but there was always that 1 per cent chance that she would. Suddenly, he felt worried by what he had done. Hatching a plan, he rang his mate, Colin.

  ‘All right, Col? I need to get away for a while. Is anyone using your caravan?’

  ‘No, mate, it’s empty. I’m indoors, come and pick the keys up, if you like.’

  Tommy breathed a sigh of relief. A trip to Clacton would sort his head out. If the shit hit the fan, he’d rather find out by phone than by someone hammering at his door.

  Finishing his drink, he stood up. For the first time ever, he realised that he was a bit wary of his little brother. Annoyed for thinking that way, he quickly got a grip on himself.

  As he walked down the road, he spoke to himself out loud. ‘Forget Jimmy boy, he’s nothing. You’re the main man, Tommy, always have been and always will be.’

  As Tara and Lily ran towards her, Maria hugged them tighter than ever before. Lily quickly pulled away. She wasn’t the cuddling type, not unless they were cuddles from her dad.

  ‘Get off, Mummy, all my friends are watching,’ she complained.

  Maria got the girls into the car, belted them up and did her best to sound chirpy. So far, so good, she thought, as they chatted happily about their day.

  ‘How was your lunch with your friends, Mummy?’ Tara inquired.

  Maria felt a shiver go down her spine. ‘Mummy had to cancel the lunch. I wasn’t well, but I couldn’t tell my friends why. I was so embarrassed, I couldn’t get off the toilet, so I pretended to them that I had to go out somewhere.’

  Tara and Lily couldn’t stop laughing. ‘Mummy had the poo-poos,’ Lily sang.

  Maria forced herself to join in with their laughter. She felt like bursting into tears, but that wasn’t an option.

  Back at their lock-up, James and Freddie counted their money, shook hands and said their goodbyes.

  ‘I’ll ring the old dear tomorrow and let yer know when yer can look at the house,’ James yelled as he drove away.

  Clocking the time, James turned down the stereo. Maria must have been pissed earlier, as she hadn’t rung him back yet. He pressed speed dial for his home number and smiled when she picked up.

  ‘Oi, I’ve got a bone to pick with you. I ain’t having you lunching with these posh old birds if you’re gonna forget all about your husband,’ he joked.

  The love and kindness in his voice was too much for Maria. Unable to stop herself, she let out a sob.

  ‘I’m only joking, Maria. Whatever’s the matter?’ James asked, his voice full of concern.

  Aware of her legs shaking, Maria slumped down on to the armchair. ‘Oh, take no notice of me. I haven’t been well, that’s all and I had to cancel lunch.’

  Worried, James pulled up in a lay-by. ‘Whaddya mean? Not well? What’s wrong, darling?’

  Grabbing a tissue, Maria blew her nose. ‘I think I’ve had food poisoning or a tummy bug. It was awful, James, I couldn’t get off the toilet. I felt sick and was far too ill to entertain, so I had to cancel.’

  James’s heart went out to her. This lunch had been so important to her and she’d been
desperate to impress her new friends.

  ‘Look, I’ll be home soon. Shall I get a takeaway?’

  ‘Yes, please,’ Maria said, her voice was no more than a whisper.

  ‘I’ll be about half an hour. Have a lay down, eh?’

  ‘OK. Bye, James.’

  James had the number of their local Chinese in his phone.

  ‘Make sure it’s ready by half past. Me wife ain’t well and I’m in a rush,’ he told Mr Chong.

  As he drove towards home, he was worried. Maria had rarely been ill in all the years he’d known her and she certainly wasn’t a cry-baby.

  Hearing the door open and close, Maria took deep breaths. Please God, don’t let him know I’m lying, she prayed.

  ‘You all right, babe?’ James asked, crouching down beside her.

  Maria smiled. ‘I think I’m on the mend. I was so ill, James, the pains in my stomach were awful,’ she lied.

  Lily giggled. ‘Mummy’s had the poo-poos.’

  Seeing Tara burst out laughing, James couldn’t stop himself joining in with their banter.

  ‘Did you tell your posh friends that you had the shits, dear?’

  Maria shook her head. ‘Of course not, I came out with some cock and bull about an imaginary cousin in a crisis.’

  James laughed. ‘Have you rearranged the lunch?’

  ‘No, I felt that ill, rearranging was the last thing on my mind.’

  James stood up. ‘I thought you put the phone down on me sharpish earlier. Was you on your way to the khazi then?’

  Maria forced a laugh. ‘Yeah, I was, now stop taking the piss and dish the dinner up, will you? Don’t bring me any in, I couldn’t face a thing.’

  As the girls followed James into the kitchen, Maria breathed a sigh of relief. He believed her; she’d got away with it. Thank God, her family had been spared the awful truth. What had happened was entirely her own fault and her penance was to live with that knowledge for ever.