Keep it Secret

by Olivia Snow

  Slipping the condom on his erection I teased licking my lips seductively.

  “Mmm big, thick and hard, just the way I like ’em.” Before he had a chance to say anything I shoved his cock in my mouth sucking hard, pushing him deep down in my throat.

  “Oh, fuck!” He croaked. I sucked faster forcing him deep again gagging from his length he let out another heavy, almost painful moan before pulling out of my mouth. Christian grabbed my shoulders forcing me to stand up. I heard the ‘oh so’ musical sound of foil from another condom wrapper tearing open. Christian ripped the cherry condom off sliding the new one on he hiked my black mini skirt up to my waist before cupping my butt, easily lifting me off the floor. I knowingly wrap my legs around his waist locking my ankles around him. Christian took his time crossing the room towards a washing machine careful not to trip over the shorts that were now around his ankles. Setting me down on the machine I felt the cold metal against my skin creating goose bumps to trail along my legs. His giant hands gripped my knees spreading my legs wide open for his viewing pleasure.

  “Open up for me, baby.” He whispered, eyes hooded but still very predator.

  I bit my bottom lip giving him a seductive look, without warning he rammed into me.

  “Ah, fuck!” I cried out in pain. Now, I’m down for rough sex but Christian is a big guy in every sense of the word and something big like that needs to be eased in especially since I hardly received any... attention…to get me ready…if you get my drift.

  “Damn, I love that you never wear panties.” He thrust into me burying his face in between my breasts grabbing my thighs to lift me then pulled me closer to him so that all my weight was on my elbows that now rested on the top of the machine. Hooking his finger to the middle of my bra he pulled down letting my tits spill over. Christian sucked my nipples giving each some well-deserved attention while he fucked me on the washing machine. No love or real intimacy, just meaningless carnal sex. I didn’t know any other way.

  “Harder! Chris, harder!” I demanded, finally feeling some pleasure.

  “Ava, you’re so wet.” He pumped harder, over and over again until he thought I orgasm. Okay, okay, faking it is awful but sometimes-random sex just doesn't do it for me. As hot as it was having sex on top of a washing machine, in the middle of the day, when anyone could walk in on us, I just wasn’t feeling it entirely. I bit down on my lip to keep from screaming out in anger disguising it with moans of pleasure. Seconds later, Christian grunted out loud stiffening his body before finding his release. After catching our breaths, Christian pulled out of me wrapping an arm around my waist; I unhook myself from him while he helped me down from the machine.

  “That was exactly what I needed.” He said pulling off the condom, tying it then examining the latex for holes before tossing it into the trashcan.

  “I’m glad you enjoyed it.” I replied as I bent down to grab my shirt off the floor. I winced from the pain of not coming and his forceful entry, welcoming, but still forceful.

  “Mmm, now why you gotta go and do that? Bending over with no panties on...are you inviting me in again?”

  I chuckled straightening myself out to put my shirt on before pulling my skirt down to its intended placement.

  “Sorry, doll, no can do. Movers will be here soon.”

  “You better go before I take that ass from behind then.” He said licking his lips probably imagining fucking me doggy style. I smiled weakly planting a tiny peck on his lips.

  “Thanks for everything Christian, you're a good…uh friend.” And he was, Christian was the closest thing to a friend I’ve had in a long time. Well, as close as I'd allow him to be. He never asked any personal questions which I appreciated tremendously. I guess living around here a crappy home life was a prerequisite. No one ever took the trouble to dig to dig deep into personal shit.

  Christian grunted. “Call me if you ever need a friend up in Vail.” He replied with a wide grin. I winked at him before walking away closing the door behind me. Closing off this part of my life once and for all.

  Chapter Two

  Vanessa

  I lay in bed glaring at the sheer pink canopy that flowed above my head. A thin vine of anger slowly grew inside me as I looked around my room. In the scrutinizing bright morning sun, there was nowhere to hide. All this…was not me. The Pretty Princess room with its white fluffy carpet and matching white furniture; four post bed, adorned dresser, grand vanity equipped with an equally impressive chair. Giant butterflies fastened on the wall as if they were to fly out of here.

  Lucky butterflies. Mother decorates my room as she sees fit, hell, mother decorates my life as she sees fit, as if to mock me, the sun beamed brighter through my massive window illuminating my room. I swear it sparkled; it looked like every little’s girls dream room. Shame, I'm no longer that little girl they try so hard to maintain. The internal struggle to show my family I’ve grown up is a battle I fight daily. Sigh. I cut down that angry little vine for now and focus on what’s to come, which makes me smile. I was too wired to sleep. All night I tossed and turned in excitement. Today I would finally see Ava after five long years. We used to be so close, like sisters until her father, Zio Tomas passed away. It shook my family to its core we were all such a tight family but after his death Ava and her mom, Aunt Rose, drifted away from us. At the time I couldn't understand why. I’d ask mother when we would see them again she would simply say, “When they’re done grieving,” like after such a horrible tragedy you all of a sudden wake up and stopped grieving. After years of asking, mother finally convinced Aunt Rose to move in with us. Regardless of the reasons for bringing them here, I selfishly cannot wait.

  “Knock, knock. Good morning, Princess” Daddy said while opening my bedroom door peeking his head in before entering.

  “Good morning, Daddy” I replied, sitting up. Daddy smiled as he walked over sitting down on the corner of my bed.

  “Listen, Princess, I just wanted to speak to you before Aunt Rose and Ava got here.” He looked at me with concern in his eyes.

  “Sure, Daddy, is everything okay?”

  “Yes, of course I wanted to talk to you about Ava. I know you two were very close when you were little but a lot has happened since then, she’s a different person now.”

  “How so?” I asked.

  “Your mother mentioned to me that she’s a little on the wild side. I know you’re a very smart young woman...but...Ava she’s uh...well...she was raised differently. She’s—just be careful and use your head, all right?” Oookay, that was a bit strange. Obviously Ava was a different person her father was dead who wouldn’t change? It almost felt like he was warning me and for some reason I felt like sticking up for her but instead of speaking my mind I smiled sweetly and nodded in agreement.

  “Absolutely, Daddy.”

  “That’s my girl” he beamed leaning over to kiss the top of my head. “Get dressed and come downstairs to eat breakfast. Ava and Aunt Rose should be here within the hour.” I nodded as he shut the door behind him. Jumping off my bed I rushed to the bathroom to study the result of my restless night. While I ran I bump into the dresser. Really, having no idea how I did because it’s like five feet away from the bathroom door. The dresser to body collision caused a glass ballerina figurine to fall, decapitating the poor thing. Crap, how was I going to explain this to mother?

  Super glue it is.

  I’m what people call a ‘bull in a china shop’. I’m a gravitation pull to glass objects well, objects in general, objects that eventually end up broken. I seriously don’t do it on purpose, really. Picking up the dismembered tiny dancer I place her back on her spot, her head resting next to her legs. “I’ll fix you later.” I promise her backing slowly away towards the bathroom. I entered looking in the mirror and of course, lovely black circles surround my eyes. Freaking fantastic I’d have to wear concealer to cover them up I hated wearing makeup it always felt like frosting on my face, regardless of how little I applied. Of course, if it was any other da
y I wouldn't bother with make up, however, today was special. I wanted to look nice when they arrived not because I was competing with Ava or trying to show off—God no—besides there was no competition.

  Ava had always been the one who got the attention between the two of us. It was no surprise that even at thirteen Ava had the ability to capture the attention of everyone in the room. She was gorgeous. I wonder what kind of woman she’d developed into now at eighteen.

  After numerous attempts to cover up the bags under my eyes, I finally gave up. Deciding to jump into the shower instead maybe the hot water would help. Shortly after getting dressed I quickly blow-dried my hair. Mother would have a fit if I walked down stairs with wet hair. ‘Your hair looks like a wet dog Vanessa Rose, fix it!’ I could already hear her say. Taking a second look in the mirror, making sure it was mother approved, satisfied, I went down stairs. While I walked down the massive staircase the crystal chandelier caught my eye. It was gigantic so there was no way of missing it, after countless times of walking up and down these stairs it easily becomes part of the background. But today thinking about Ava I’m reminded of the times she and I would lay on the floor right below it and stare at the pretty crystals as the light reflected each flawless prism.

  “Hey, Ava?”

  “Yeah?”

  “How hard do you think it would be to cut that string?”

  “What string?”

  “The string that's holding up the chandelier.”

  “That isn't string silly, it's a wire. And very hard, it would be like cutting its lifeline. Without it…it would break.”

  “What’s a life line?”

  “It’s like what you need to survive. Like, you need water and air to live without that—your lifeline—you’d die. You would break like the chandelier.”

  “Oh, like my daddy and mommy are my life lines.”

  “Yeah, I guess you can say that.”

  “What’s your life line?”

  “That’s easy my babbo.”

  “Not Aunt Rose?”

  “Mmm sure, her too.”

  “It’s so pretty isn't it?”

  “Yeah, look how the light shines through it. It almost looks like it's twinkling.”

  “When I grow up, I want one just like this in my house.”

  “Maybe your mom will give you this one.”

  “No, I’ll get a new one. I don't wanna cut this ones lifeline.”

  I’m brought back to the present as I hear mother lecturing the staff. Quietly, I walked into the kitchen and took a place at the table. Daddy was already sitting sipping on his coffee reading his newspaper. Reaching over the table I grabbed the stainless steel carafe and a mug. While I poured Daddy looked up from his newspaper shaking his head in amusement.

  “I’m tired, Daddy.” I begged.

  “Well, you better hurry before your mother sees you.” He warned taking a sip from his own mug. I quickly threw three teaspoons of sugar, splashed some cream in my coffee before taking a big gulp from the mug regretting it instantly. Daddy snickered straightening out his paper.

  “Mmm, that’s hot!” I burned my tongue! Before Daddy could say anything mother walked in from the butlers pantry.

  “Vanessa Rose, are you drinking coffee?” She demanded, bringing her hands to her hips.

  “Mother, I didn't get enough sleep last night. Please just this cup?” I asked, careful not to sound like I was whining mother wouldn't stand for it.

  “Nonsense, dear, caffeine is bad for you. You know that.” She takes the mug from my hands replacing it with a bowl of fruit.

  Smile and nod, Vanessa.

  “Yes, mother.” I smile and nod.

  Chapter Three

  Ava

  The two-hour drive to Vail felt more like five. Blood stopped circulating to my ass, it felt like it was ready to fall off I had to constantly transferred my weight from cheek to cheek. Ascending further into the elevation my ears popped reminding me of why I always chewed gum when we traveled towards the mountains. From the corner of my eye Rose shifted uncomfortably in her seat. This was equally awkward and uncomfortable for her as it was for me. I can’t remember the last time Rose and I were in such close quarters. It was pretty pathetic how easily our relationship went to shit after my father’s death; then again we were never really close. We got along just fine before. I was thirteen so it was still pretty early in my teen years where I wasn’t rebelling against her. Maybe, I was just too close to my father to even notice that I was lacking a connection with my mother. Being her only child and a girl at that, she tried to do girly things that never interested me. I was always outside ruff housing it with my dad. I’ve never been a girly girl.

  A sea of pine trees surfaced as we traveled closer to Vail, the truck was instantly immersed with the scent of forest only the Blue Spruce can produce. The smell triggered the mental vortex in my brain to suck me into the memory of the first Christmas without my dad.

  The old wooden floor was ice cold; a translucent blanket of ice covered the windows. I had to stop turning on the furnace that heated the entire house, the utility bill was way too high. Having the heater on all day long would drain us of our money sooner than later. My solution was to order the cheapest space heaters on Amazon, one for my room, one for Mamma’s.

  -I should have kept my socks on. -

  Mamma should be hungry by now. I know because I'm hungry too. I boiled water and poured it over the instant cup of noodles while I waited for the noodles to soften I filled a glass full of milk for Mamma. I poured mine half way.

  -We’re running out of milk. -

  The stores are closed today and there’s so much snow outside I’m going to have to walk in it tomorrow. I’ll be wet and cold by the end of the trip. I hate not being able to drive yet.

  Placing the two cups of noodles and glasses of milk on the wooden serving tray I grabbed a straw and stuck it in Mamma’s glass before walking out the kitchen.

  -It made it easier to feed her. -

  Slowly, walking up the stairs wincing as my feet burned from the brutal coldness on every step I pushed Mamma’s door open with my elbow. She turned her back to me as soon as I entered. I ignored the sharp pain in my heart setting the tray on the side table that was closer to her.

  “Mamma, it’s time to eat.” She didn’t move or acknowledge me. I wrapped my arms under her armpits pulling her up then sitting her against the headboard. She’d lost so much weight since May.

  -It’s easier to lift her, which isn’t a good thing. -

  I’m glad I’ll be home for a week, since its winter break I’ll be able to ensure she’s eating three times a day. Taking the straw to her mouth she doesn’t respond for a few seconds but she knew I wouldn’t let up, she had no choice but to drink. Mamma sucked the milk down until it was gone.

  -I knew she was hungry. -

  Setting the glass down I took the fork circling it inside the cup picking up a mouth full of noodles I blew making sure it wasn’t too hot. I fed Mamma until the noodles were also gone. She eyed my cup as her stomach grumbled. I smiled because she was showing interest in food, so, I fed her my milk and my cup of noodles. After she was done she laid back down facing away from me.

  I walked out of the room closing her door taking the tray and glasses back down to the kitchen to clean the small mess I made.

  -We’re out of milk and noodles. -

  Unlocking the antique alcohol cabinet I took the bottle of Johnnie Walker Black that my babbo left behind to my room. Mamma was never a big drinker, so there was a big collection left over. Drinking it straight from the bottle I felt the warm burn go from my throat to my stomach. Walking to look out my window I saw the entire neighborhood decorated in Christmas cheer. Ours was the only house on the block that was grimly dark. My eyes scorched with tears as I took another drink from the bottle. “Merry Christmas, Avie.” I whispered to myself.

  “Merry fucking Christmas.”

  The car behind me honked as the light turned from red
to green bringing me back. My hands shook, my mouth watered for my vice. Damn it, not right now! I bit my lip planning, plotting on how I could relieve this itch. I had a half-pint bottle of Smirnoff in my satchel, which should do the trick.

  “I have to pee.” I said to Rose turning on the next exit I pulled into the nearest gasoline station. Ramming the gear stick in park I jumped out the truck grabbing my satchel I said nothing to Rose as I slammed the door without meaning to. The florescent lighting in the convenience store seemed to be brighter than normal, that or this itch was making my eyes extra sensitive to the light. I don’t even smile at the attendant as I make my way into the restroom. With a speedy heart and shaky hands I fumbled through my bag until feeling the cold glass against my fingers. Sighing in relief I managed to steady my hands long enough to open the bottle cap and inhale the blissful liquid. My racing heart slowed as the vodka made its way into my bloodstream. The half pint wasn’t enough to get me drunk but enough to help me lock away the spiraling thoughts of the past, just enough to help me deal. With feel good juice washing around in my belly and a quick crack of my neck bones I was able to take a deep breath and head back. I exited the store popping three mints in my mouth before getting into the truck.

  Easily I drove around the curving roads taking the well known short cuts, I knew the way to Vail like the back of my hand. Before my father died we came up here every weekend, birthday and holiday. It was home away from home. During the summer months Vail was pretty busy but it didn’t compare to when it began to snow. Tourists would flood the streets of the winter wonderland that is Vail. Uncle Bill capitalized on ski season renting out his condos and cabins. Along with making his money off of lodging he owned stores and restaurants around town, not to mention in Denver, Aspen and Breckenridge. Saying the Saint John family had money was an understatement. Taking the turn to enter the gated community they lived I felt a stifling wave of remorse hit my unaffected heart. I haven't seen Vanessa in five years, crazy to think we lived in the same state just a few hours away but hadn’t seen each other for so long.