Keep it Secret

by Olivia Snow

  “No! You just look…not eighteen.” She responded. I chuckled at her answer as I start dressing myself careful not to ruin my makeup. Being naked in front of people had never bothered me. I feel entirely comfortable with my outer-self it’s my inner-self that sucks. I hate strutting that around.

  “You have tattoos.” Vanessa tilted her head observing my skin.

  “Yup, three, so far.”

  I started getting tattoos when I was around sixteen. My first one was the most painful; it spreads down my entire left side. The three dimensional design was drawn out to look like a piece of my skin was torn off, because really, a big part of me was missing. The ink was drawn directly on my ribs depicting my bones and inside organs including shreds of skin hanging off my side. The tattoo is extremely intricate and beautifully detailed. It’s pretty gruesome but still beautiful. The second tattoo is a black wilted single rose with falling petals laid slanted on my left shoulder, third and final is on my lower neck, it’s the Roman numeral for thirty-eight (XXXVIII); That’s how old he was when he died.

  “Back again for more pain?”

  “Yeah, this time I want a roman numeral on my neck, straight across.”

  “Now, will this be your last tattoo?”

  “Probably, not.”

  “You know, a girl covered in tattoos is very unattractive.”

  “Says the man that tattoos for a living.”

  “Hey, I’m just letting you know how guys think. Too many tattoos will land you with the wrong type of guy. I’m just looking out for ya, jail bait.”

  “Just stick to what you know, Hector and I’ll stick to what I know. I can take care of myself.”

  “All right, don't say I didn't warn you. What number you want?”

  “Thirty-eight.”

  “Thirty-eight? What does that stand for?”

  “Fuck, you're nosey today. Just tattoo my God damn neck!”

  “Damn, chillax baby. Come on, let Hector take care of you. What type of payment we dealing with this time?”

  “Cash.”

  “Fuck, that’s a shame.”

  “Ava?” Vanessa asked a bit puzzled tearing me away from my thoughts.

  “Yeah?” I responded clearing my throat.

  “Aren’t you going to put panties on?”

  I smile brazenly. “Fuck no. It gets in the way.”

  “Gets in the way…of what?” She asked with an uncertain voice, like she knew why but couldn't possibly fathom the idea I’d not wear panties for easier access. Before I could answer there was a knock at the door, “Come in” I call as I finished slipping my heels on.

  “Ready to go?” Declan asked leaning against the doorframe.

  “Yup. Let’s go.” I hugged Vanessa goodbye kiss her on the head before leaving the room. I’m surprised to see Rose standing outside the den like she was seeing me off. I quickly nod goodbye, she smiles warily but knew better to say anything parental like. Outside, I noticed Declan’s SUV parked next to my baby. I blew a kiss in his direction before getting inside Declan’s car.

  “Who are you blowing kisses too?” Declan asked looking at me like I’m crazy.

  “My baby,” I said matter-of-factly pointing to my truck.

  “You and that truck, I swear.” He laughed. What? I love my Titan.

  “Hey! It’s the only good thing that’s come out of my father’s death.” Declan instantly stills in awkwardness before climbing into his SUV. I ignore his discomfort continuing our talk about cars. “This is a nice ride, D.” I buckle the seat belt admiring his new black Mercedes-Benz G-Class.

  “Thanks, birthday present from mommy dearest.”

  I grunt. But of course it is, love wouldn’t be love to Cynthia Saint John if it weren’t materialistic.

  “Can I ask you something?” He asked pulling out of the dark driveway onto the main road.

  “If you must.”

  “Are things better between you and Aunt Rose?”

  “Oh, it’s fuck-tastic! We do each other’s toenails and sing to the Sound of Music on a daily basis. I even shit rainbows.” Clearly, I was being sarcastic with a touch of bitch.

  “Damn! Chill, I was just asking and it’s fan-fucking-tastic, by the way. Have I taught you nothing?” He smiled at me sideways.

  “You know. I wouldn’t have told you anything if I knew you were going to bring it up.” I sighed in frustration directing my attention to the night sky. The stars were so clear up here.

  “Like you had a choice Ava, you were so damn drunk. You spilled your guts...before you literally…spilled your guts.” He laughed remembering that night. I rolled my eyes at him. “Hardy. Har Har. I’d rather not talk about that night, all right? By the way, how are Eric and Jordan?” I asked knowing it would make him mad and stop asking me questions about my relationship with Rose.

  Five months ago...

  I found myself in rare form that night. Declan, had invited me over to his apartment for a small party as soon as I arrived D, was handing me shots of tequila and jagerbombs. Lucky, for him I was in the mood to party hard and have a good time. I grabbed a few girls and started doing body shots off of them, once I could sense which one was the sluttiest, I handed her over to Declan. Soon after he took her into his room I was bombarded with pick up lines from every single guy in the room. The one that stood out the most was Eric, one of Declan’s roommates. Eric was cute and charming, typical rich pretty boy. One who thought was the next master of the universe, who would brag to his friends about how he screwed his roommates hot cousin for weeks to come. After I was done with him, it was pretty early in the morning and I was still very drunk. Declan, was sitting alone in the living room playing his game console, I guess he’d sobered up by then. I vaguely remember how the conversation started but I vividly remember how it ended, me, throwing up on his bathroom floor. I wasn't fast enough to make it to the toilet. Three weeks later, Eric had invited me to another party but I ended up leaving with Jordan, the other roommate. Well, technically, I didn't leave the party. We just took our two-person shindig outside where he took me up against the side of the house. Word of advice, never mix tequila and jagerbombs. The aftermath is disgusting.

  “Deflect much?” He replied annoyed I’d ask about his roommates. Serves him right for being so God damn nosey.

  “Yup! Just don’t say anything to Vanessa.” I rushed to say. I knew he knew I wasn’t talking about the roommate situation.

  “Yes, I know Ava, but if you ask me she needs to grow up sooner or later. The faster she learns our parents suck at life, the better.” I just shook my head. Isn’t he meant to protect his little sister? Why would he purposely tell her something that would break her heart? Some kind of big brother he was.

  After driving for about fifteen minutes we arrived at the party. There were cars parked all over the enormous stoned driveway spilling out past the gate. Declan found a spot a block away from the house, he said we would have to walk a little but when it was time to go it would be easier to leave. Nearing house...err...mansion the music began to get louder I noticed the front door was left wide open inviting anyone to enter. Declan ushered me inside the place was packed with bodies. It reeked of beer, pheromones and pine trees, only in Vail.

  Immediately, after passing the threshold I heard girls calling for Declan as if he was some sort of celebrity. I guess he won’t need my assistance tonight. I snorted in amusement looking at him getting pulled in different directions by different girls. He looked over at me with pleading eyes.

  “Go. Do your thing!” I yelled over the loud music, “I'll be okay!”

  “You sure?” He asked. “Go!” I ordered.

  “Cool, text me when you're ready to leave, okay?” I nodded yes smiling at the thought that maybe tonight he’d get that threesome he’s always wanted. Manwhore.

  Walking further into the monster of a house my eyes scan around the room looking for the alcohol. Like, some holy revelation the clouds part and a beautiful light shone on the keg. Thank you alcohol
gods. I grabbed the hose pumping some beer into a red plastic cup just as the music changed from a Lady Gaga song to Chingy’s Right Thurr. Without any care my hips take charge leading me to the empty space cleared for dancing. These college kids don’t know how to party. I dance alone not giving a damn what these people think, this is my jam and damn it I will dance to it! I swiveled my hips taking the occasional dip with one hand in the air and the other holding my almost empty cup. Deep into the song I almost didn’t notice when a body presses behind me. Turning around, eager to tell this fool to back up, I realize it’s a very pretty blonde girl. She was a couple of inches shorter than me, big dazzling apple green eyes with a cute petite athletic body. Her curly bright blonde hair is braided to the side making her look like a fairy tale princess. It’s surprising she looks so innocent but contrary to her appearance, she’s ready to do some dirty dancing with another girl. This chick can’t be serious. Calling her bluff I start grinding against her she steps in closer gripping my hips she begins to dance on me, moving her hips slowly, lowering herself then moving back up just as slow. She was my type of girl, this obviously gets the attention of all the guys in the room as the song comes to an end I wink at her.

  “Mallory.” She mouths.

  “Ava,” I replied.

  She smiled, “Cheers, honey, you just got me laid.” She whispered in my ear tapping her red cup to me. Noticing a guy coming towards her I nod in his direction. She looks behind her shoulder giving him a saucy smile before strutting towards him.

  Nice. Looking away to take a sip from my cup I lock eyes with a guy who was casually standing across the room also holding a red cup identical to mine. For a second, it felt like my feet were cemented to the floor, my heart raced as heat circled around my chest flowing down to my middle. I took another swig from my cup before the urge to strip him naked in front of everyone overtook me.

  He. Was. That. Beautiful.

  His blonde hair was slicked back in a side part, something you would see on a movie star. His eyes were the prettiest baby blue color I've ever seen. I was in awe of him, stupefied from his angelic face. Gorgeous man-child was clean cut and oozed of money he stood at probably six feet or so. From all the way over here I could tell he was fit. His broad shoulders were covered in a black Lacoste polo shirt that didn’t do him justice. Lowering my gaze, the low cut dark denim jeans nipped at his muscular hips, God; I bet he had a sexy ass stomach. Slowly, working my way down I noticed a bulge around his crotch area...mmm nice. I looked back into his eyes this time he was blushing. Oh, how cute.

  I smiled wickedly this was going to be fun, if my stare alone made him blush I wondered what he would do while I was riding him and calling out his name…wait. No. Yes…no, to calling out his name yes to everything else. What the hell was I thinking? I started strutting towards him, ignoring three guys that tried to get my attention while I walked across the room. Baby Blue never broke my stare.

  “Hi.” I said reaching him.

  “Ah, hhi.” He replied stammering. He’s nervous. I like.

  “Damn baby, what's your name? Love your dance skills by the way.” His friend whistled interrupting my moment with Baby Blue. I didn’t even notice he was there, until now. With my phoniest smile I turned sideways, making eye contact with the idiot.

  “I’m Ava, what's your name?” I asked turning back to Baby Blue. He just stood there staring at me.

  “Ahem, I’m Talon, and this is Gabriel, who’s seemed to have lost the ability to speak. I don’t blame him, your fine girl.” Talon said eating me up with his eyes as he backhanded Baby Blue’s shoulder.

  He startles and says, “Hi, I’m Gabriel.”

  I chuckled softly. He’s too cute. “Hi Gabriel, I’m Ava, nice to meet you.” I said extending my hand to shake his. Our hands meet, instantly creating an electric charge that slams into my chest taking my breath away. I immediately let go regretting coming over to him, the need to run far away from him and putting as much distance between us as possible floods me but instead of running, my libido takes the reins and says; snap the fuck out of it, he’s delicious. I clear my throat before speaking making sure my voice is still intact.

  “Talon, could you do me a favor and give Gabriel and I some privacy?” I probably sounded like a bitch. Oh, well.

  “Uh…yeah, sure I’ll leave you two to it.” Talon replied confused he turned to walk outside.

  “Do I make you nervous, Baby Blue?” I asked, shifting to be directly in front of him.

  “Ah, what did you just call me?” He asked.

  “Baby Blue, you have the prettiest baby blue eyes I've ever seen.” I replied, gently caressing his temple with my knuckles. Slowly, I move my hand down his face brushing my thumb along his jawline. I licked my lips when my thumb touched his plump bottom lip, his perfect mouth full and pink. God, what I’d do to that mouth. Out of habit, I bit down on my bottom lip remembering to keep my dirty thoughts to myself, for now at least.

  “What are you doing?” He asked in a low husky voice. I stepped closer to him, damn he even smelled as good as he looked, like fresh clean linen and a touch of expensive cologne.

  “No, Baby Blue the question is what would you like me to do?” I asked cocking my head to get a better view of his lascivious lips. His chest rose in excitement. I break the few inches left between us pressing my breasts against his chest. Gabriel sucks in a sharp breath as his body goes still. It almost looked like he’d lost the ability to breathe. His lungs may not be functioning, but his lower half was working just fine. I felt him hardening against my thigh giving me the green light I needed. He wanted me just as much as I wanted him.

  “Where’s the nearest bathroom?” I asked it takes him a second to answer.

  “Um, second door to the left, down that hallway.” He responded out of breath, disappointed. I took the cup out of his hand setting both our drinks down on the nearest side table. I gripped his wrist pulling him with me. By now the party was well under way, nobody seemed to notice me yanking Gabriel into the bathroom with me. I pulled Gabriel in front of me once we were inside closing and locking the door behind us. His Adam’s apple bobbed inside this throat, swallowing slowly.

  “Is this for real?” He asked.

  “You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to. I'm not stopping you….” Deliberately, I add an extra swing to my hips as I sauntered in front of him pushing my breasts against his chest once again. Normally, I didn’t have to try at all to sleep with a guy, all it took was a crook of my finger and I had guys falling over to get to me. Not being conceded just speaking the truth, but there was something about Gabriel, he was turning me on purely by his presence. I had to have him.

  “…But from what I can feel,” I emphasize by gliding my thigh against his hard on. “You really want to be here.” I whispered in my seductive voice, his breath hitched as I placed my hands under his shirt to feel his ‘you-have-to-be-shitting-me’ abs moving my way up to his pecs. Jesus he’s hot. I knew his shirt didn't do him justice. His stomach muscles contracted chest moved rapidly up and down as I touched every perfectly defined indentation, taking my sweet ass time. Savoring every detail. His skin felt so soft and his smell, intoxicating. What the hell was I saying? My brain had to keep pace with what my body or should I say my libido was feeling. I glanced at his expression he looked troubled like he wasn't sure what to do next. Well, that’s different. Usually guys would have me bent over the counter by now. My stomach did this topsy-turvy thing almost like a flutter but not in a good way. Maybe, I was doing something wrong? Get out! My brain yelled. No! Stay! My lust countered. I pushed the warning bells that were going off in my head down and stepped up on my tiptoes to place both hands on each side of his face. My breath hitched as I looked into his eyes, those beautiful blue eyes. I studied his gaze finding something innocent in his eyes something…different. Now, my black heart joined in the inner battle. Walk away, we’ll taint him. It said. Just as I started to pull away, Gabriel suddenly cupped my ass with his
huge hands gently setting me on the counter. I wrapped my legs around his waist locking my ankles together forcing his erection to slam in between my legs the friction made my muscles tighten. Gabriel hissed, taking his hands from my waist to my thighs he gently squeezing my muscle slowly moving up and down. I bit down on my bottom lip my eyes closing in a flutter I moaned as his hands brought heat to my body. I opened my eyes to find Gabriel’s filled with a blazing blue heat. I groaned roughly taking his bottom lip into my mouth I bite down he immediately let go of my thighs and grabs my face pushing his tongue into my willing mouth our tongues glide against each other in a heated dance, desperate for more. Breaths became jagged while the atmosphere fills with a heavy blanket of lust and desire. Gabriel’s muscular arms wrap around my waist bringing me closer my hands wrap around his neck kissing him back frantically exploring every corner of his sweet mouth. I felt the pounding of his heart against my chest as his soft tongue continued to pleasingly assault mine. Reaching down, I started unbuttoning his jeans. Gabriel broke our kiss, panting, he looked down at my busy fingers. Once undone, I dipped my hand into his jeans gripping his velvety erection. Gabriel and I moaned in unison feeling him become harder in my hands.

  “Oh, damn.” He groaned.

  I hesitated to let go of him, but I needed to see more. With his cock hanging out at attention, I grab the hem of his shirt yanking it off. I lean back to get a full view of his ridiculous body. Salivating over his figure I licked my lips in excitement. Gabriel sexily chuckled in amusement, I paid him no mind as my hands moved on their own accord touching his pecs and abs, slowly, admiring the contrast of our skin, his a soothing white mine a light bronze. I glance at him he was looking at me like a boy on Christmas morning ready to open his presents. His stare stirred something inside deep in my belly. Damn, he’s sexy. Dropping my hands from his body, I tugged the hem of my shirt pulling it off, wanting to feel my skin on his. Gabriel’s eyes widen not expecting the size of my tits, I grin in pride. He stares at my chest his lips part just a little causing my nipples to harden. In the reflection of his bright eyes, I could see my bust rising and falling in desperation, desperate to have my nipples in his mouth. In his hesitation I took charge and released the front clasp of my bra, setting my breast free. Gabriel inhaled deeply before trailing his finger along the sides of my breasts my nipples pucker even tighter. Gabriel takes my heavy breast and slowly sucks on my nipple while rolling his thumb on the other one. My moans echoed in the bathroom as he bites down on my hard peak I dig my fingers in his shoulder blades. I needed him inside of me now before I came in my jeans. I pushed him back abruptly. Gabriel looked at me confused he opened his mouth to say something but before he did I jumped off the counter backing him up on the edge of the closed toilet. I place my hands on his shoulders forcing him to sit down I straddle him. Gabriel’s knowing smile returns as he places his hands on my bear back bringing me closer to him he buries his head in my breasts picking up where we left off. I whimpered from the escalating orgasm I was going to have without any penetration, pulling back I struggled to speak. “Unless your dick is made out of steel, it’s not getting through my jeans.”