My mouth opened, but the dismissal I’d been planning to say never emerged. Instead I cleared my throat and turned to look out the window. “I’m not uncomfortable.” Horny, maybe. “I don’t want a repeat of the past.”
“Me, either. I figure we can go about this one of two ways. We can chalk up the entire thing to a mistake, we go on this last trip and that’s the end of it. Or we can see if there is still something between us.”
“There isn’t.”
“But we can see.”
“Reid, we tried this once before and it didn’t work. It failed spectacularly. I can’t put myself through something like that again.” I’d never told anyone about the nights I’d spent crying, the fog I’d walked through for months after our last fight. Never again would I let any man cause me that much pain.
The problem was, Reid wasn’t just any man. Stepping in close, he cupped my cheek, his thumb caressing my skin. “Please.”
Goddammit. “Fine. You can take my picture. Beyond that I make no promises.” Even if I really wanted to.
Chapter Seven
Long night ahead of us reviewing the dailies. I should never have let Reid take the afternoon off. God only knows what he’s up to.
Production Notes, Brian Merrick, Director
The problem with the air-conditioning in the car was that it made my nipples hard. I hadn’t taken Reid up on the offer to go back to the hotel and change, knowing that I’d back out if given the slightest opportunity. So instead of my padded bra or a baggy shirt, I wore my lace bra and fitted top, neither of which hid my far-too-perky tips.
Stupid breasts. With my head pressed back against the headrest, I kicked off my heels, tucked my feet up under my ass and crossed my arms. That should keep them out of sight. “Where the hell are we going again?”
“The old Boyce Thompson Institute. They did plant research way back when. I’ve heard it’s pretty run-down now, but the greenhouses are still pretty cool.”
“They better be. Six freaking hours, dude.”
Reid scanned through the music on his USB stick. “Don’t worry, I came prepared.”
The heavy beat of dance music pounded through the speakers, making my bra vibrate against my sensitive skin. Somehow the music helped me relax, and for the first time all day I didn’t feel as though I was going to come apart at the seams. “You never did tell me why you got into film.”
Reid flexed his fingers on the steering wheel. “It was job retraining.”
“Yeah, you said that. But why film? I never remembered you being into that before.”
He didn’t say anything.
“Reid. A six-hour drive. For a broken building. Talk to me.” God, yes I’d loved him once, but this was what drove me insane. He’d only take things so far and then bam, nothing. My stomach started to churn once again as that invisible weight settled on my shoulders.
“My psychiatrist suggested I try taking photographs. Film came after. I’d taken a few classes when we were together.”
The revelation might as well have been a punch to the gut. “What? You...you never told me you were seeing anyone.”
“I was going through some stuff after getting out of the army. I tried to keep that from you when we were dating. I didn’t want to taint what we had with that...with that shit.”
“Why not?” I turned to face him as best as my seat belt allowed. “How many times did I try to talk to you about things, about important things, only to have you push me away? You knew I was there for you. I might have been able to help.”
“You don’t understand. I didn’t want your help. Not with that.” His grip on the steering wheel tightened. “I went through so much. Saw so much when I was deployed. I wanted to leave it behind.”
“Clearly you didn’t.”
“No, I didn’t. As much as you said you wanted to listen to me, you didn’t. You’re great at talking, at taking charge and pulling the strings. But there was nothing about this that you could fix.”
Shit, I was going to cry. I sat back in my seat and looked out the window. “So instead of saying something, you pushed me away. Broke my heart.”
“Yes. You broke mine, too.”
My mouth fell open, but words refused to come.
“I was hurting.” He sighed and his fingers relaxed on the wheel. “I didn’t know how to talk to you. When I’d try, you’d try to attack the situation, fix the problem without understanding it. That made things worse. Then when I didn’t react the way you wanted, you pulled away. I needed help, you froze me out, and I didn’t know how to tell you that I was dying inside.”
“I’m sorry.” What a useless thing to say. I’d pushed him away when he needed me most and all I could do was apologize? Totally useless.
Reid reached over and took my hand in his. “I know. I’m sorry, too.”
“If I’d known—”
“It wouldn’t have mattered. We weren’t good together back then.”
“What about now?” I almost didn’t want to know.
He gave my hand a squeeze. “We’re both different now. Who knows?”
The beat of the music thumped on, but gone was any relaxation it gave. For the rest of the drive I kept my gaze out the window and my mind on the past.
* * *
There was instant relief when we finally arrived at our destination. The building looked like one of those old schools from the early 1920s, long and tall. The front steps were flanked by tall brick columns that held a short peaked roof. The windows and doors were boarded up, with an occasional one hanging loosely. The breeze blew dead leaves in swirls around the courtyard that heralded our arrival.
“Here we are.” Reid’s voice sounded rough. “Let’s hope we don’t run into any vagrants.”
Great. “Is that a possibility?”
“Always in a place like this.”
We both got out of the car and I took a deep breath. “This is amazing.”
The trunk slammed shut. “I have my camera. Let’s look around out here first.”
There was an undeniable beauty to the place as we walked around the premises. Decaying wood, rusted metal that once could have been a greenhouse, smashed windows, all appeared to glow in the setting sun. It was as though nature had risen up to reclaim the building. A total revenge of the plants, given what they used to do here.
Reid found one of the loose window boards and looked inside. “Not too bad. The floor is a bit rough.”
I peeked over his shoulder. “With these shoes, I’d just hold you back in there. How about I stay out here and explore while you go take your pictures.”
“I don’t like the idea of leaving you alone.”
I waved away his concerns. “Give me the car keys. I can go hide in there if anyone comes along.”
It was easy to see he didn’t like the idea, but he also knew enough not to argue. He held out the keys for me to take. “Please be careful.”
“I will.” The smile I gave him was fake. The last thing either of us needed was to make things any tenser than they already were.
Reid disappeared into the building. I peered through the window while he took pictures of the main room. I got bored of that quickly and began my own explorations. After spending half an hour walking around and through the greenhouses, I circled back around to the front of the building.
I was investigating the main entrance of the courtyard when my ankle buckled. I dropped to the broken stone and let out a short scream as pain shot up from my knee to my hip. “Sonofabitch.”
“Tamara?” Reid’s voice was directly above me. I looked up to see him hanging out from an open window. “Are you okay?”
“I broke the heel of my shoe, but I’m okay. Just bruised a little.”
“I’ll be right down. Don’t move.”
&
nbsp; “I’m fine.”
“Don’t. Move.”
Like I was going to go far. And at the same time, I wasn’t going to lie on the ground waiting for someone to come rescue me. I carefully slipped off my shoe to pull the heel free. Then I got back to my feet and started to brush the rocks and dirt from my clothing. By the time Reid ran around the side of the building, I was more or less back to my old self.
“I thought I said don’t move? You could’ve had a broken ankle.”
“Please. My shoe got caught in a crack and I banged my knee. I’m not a fragile flower who’s going to break. I’m fine.”
Reid scooped me into his arms and headed to the car.
“What are you doing? Put me down.”
“Not until I can check your foot.”
“There’s nothing wrong with my foot.”
“Humor me.”
I’m fairly certain I growled. When Reid held me tighter against his body to open the car door, I took the opportunity to inhale. There was the scent of old building in his clothing, but it couldn’t hide his aftershave and the hint of his natural musk. I could easily have closed my eyes and kept my face pressed to his skin for hours, simply enjoying him. But the opportunity was lost when he set me down on the passenger’s seat and squatted down to look at my foot.
“You scared the shit out of me. I was taking your picture from the window and then you fell. I didn’t know what had happened.” Firm fingers moved around my foot, ankle and calf, poking and prodding to make sure there was nothing out of place.
“Ouch!” I jerked when he’d dug his fingers a bit too hard. “Careful.”
“Doesn’t look to be broken.” He set my foot down and slid his hands up to bracket my knee. “You’re bleeding a bit.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re hurt.”
“God, will you relax? I’ll clean it up when we get back to the hotel.”
Reid went over to his camera bag. “I have some first aid supplies with me. You never know what you’re going to run into when you come to these places.”
“I’m fine.” The sting of an alcohol pad being pressed to my knee took the rest of my dismissal from me. “Fuck.”
“Such language from a lady.”
“Please. I’m the furthest thing from.”
“There. All cleaned up.” He tossed the garbage back into his camera bag, but didn’t get up again.
There was worry in his eyes and a frown on his lips. His fingers continued to caress my skin, his touch changing from careful to searching. Goose bumps began to form on my skin, and my pussy tingled with the sudden awareness of his proximity and the memory of what had happened between us last time we were in this position. My breasts grew heavy and my nipples tightened.
“What are you doing?” My words came out little more than a whisper.
He didn’t say anything, but his fingers moved farther up my thigh. He kept his gaze locked on mine, and I knew if I said anything, made any indication that I didn’t want this to continue, he’d stop.
I didn’t.
When his fingers pressed against my panties, my clit was already swollen and ready for him. “Reid?”
“I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind. Your moans and sighs. I want to hear them again.”
This was a bad idea that I wasn’t about to stop.
Together we shifted me so I was leaning back across the car seats. I had one foot on the floor of the car and the other draped across Reid’s shoulder as he shifted his body between my legs. It only took him a moment to slide my panties down my leg, leaving them hooked on the other. Now exposed to his sight, I was expecting to feel embarrassed about what he could see. Hell, we were about to have sex in a car in the middle of nowhere. Shouldn’t I be feeling something other than this raging excitement?
“Tell me you have a condom?”
“I’ve started carrying them around in my pocket. Wishful thinking on my part.”
“Less thinking and more doing.”
He pulled the condom out of his pocket, hesitating. “I always regretted how we ended. I should never have said—”
“Please don’t. Later. Sex now.”
“Tamara—”
“Now.”
Reid ripped open the condom package with his mouth, but I took it from him before he was able to do anything with it. I rolled it down his hard shaft, enjoying the way his cock twitched and bobbed beneath my hand. We were both aroused beyond the point of reason. His body shook and I knew he was holding himself back.
Reaching between my legs, I began to rub my clit. I was hard and wet, my pussy so ready for action I knew it wouldn’t take me long to reach orgasm. Not that I was going to make things that easy for myself. My actions were enough to draw Reid’s attention. His lips parted as he watched me pleasure myself, tease my clit with my fingertips, circle my entrance and rub the wetness across my skin.
“My brain keeps shouting at me that being with you is a bad idea.” I pressed my finger into my pussy. “But I can’t stop wanting you. What we had. All I can give you is sex.”
“Fine. I’ll accept that.” He swallowed hard, his gaze dragging up from my pussy to my eyes. “For now.”
I shivered, removed my hand and lifted my leg until it rested against his shoulder. “Fuck me.”
Neither of us looked away as he thrust into me with one hard stroke. Unlike our time at the warehouse, this was different. We’d slipped back into our old habit without comment. I expected the way his fingers wrapped around my calf to help me hold the angle. The feel of his chest hair beneath my fingers. The familiarity of his scent washed across me, and the comfort it gave helped me relax.
And yet, everything about him was still new. Exciting. The slow, steady way he thrust into my body was so unlike anything else we’d done together. Reid lowered his body close enough I was able to kiss and lick the side of his neck. While his smell was familiar, the taste of him was novel.
“There’s not enough room here.” His words were hot against my cheek. “I want to fuck you on a bed. On a blanket. Somewhere I can explore your body.”
No. No, I didn’t want that.
It was too close to things becoming serious.
With my eyes closed, I knew I needed to say something that would keep this firmly in the land of hot sex. “On the hood of the car.”
“Your ankle—”
“Will be fine and you’ll have room to stretch out. Plus I won’t have a console pressing into my brain.”
Reid hesitated for only a moment before he pulled back. With his jeans down around his knees, he reached into the car and helped me out. He also grabbed his jacket from the backseat. My feet never touched the ground as he carried me to the front of the car, tossed his jacket down and set me on top of it.
“I’m going to owe you a new coat.” My bare ass and pussy were pressed fully against the soft leather.
“No fucking way. I’m going to get a hard-on every time I wear it now.”
It was awkward getting my footing, but after a minute it didn’t much matter. Reid pressed me back against the hood, spread my legs and pressed into me once more. The new angle increased the pressure on my clit but prevented me from being able to reach between my thighs and help move things along. Not that I needed much in the way of help. As he thrust, his cock seemed to hit every sensitive spot in my pussy.
The familiar and the new mixed together until my body and brain couldn’t tell them apart. I wanted to feel the high with him, come long and hard against him. I wanted to bury my face against him until he was imprinted on my brain.
And all the while there was a whisper undercutting each desire with a soft run away.
“You’re beautiful like this. Hot and sweaty.” He squeezed his fingers harder around my legs. “I’m go
ing to come soon.”
I pressed my cheek to the car hood, enjoying the cool metal against my heated skin. “Me, too.”
“You first.”
Reid pushed my shirt and bra up, exposing my breasts to the air. Bending down, he sucked my nipple into his mouth as he increased his thrusts. I had to find a spot on the car to plant my feet to keep my body still and give me leverage enough to meet his every push. The smell of metal, sex and Reid made my head spin. His soft chant of “Fuck, yes, Christ” echoed in my ears and pulled moans from me.
My pleasure began to crest, and I knew it would only be a matter of minutes before I’d have my release. I wanted to remember every twitch, but as soon as I started to come, my brain shorted out. There was nothing but wave after wave of pleasure. My body contracted around Reid, clinging to him as my pussy throbbed and my breasts ached.
“Shit.” He growled and pressed into me once more before crying out. His body shuddered above me and a look of pleasure contorted his perfect face.
Finally, his breathing returned to normal and our bodies slowly relaxed. Eventually, I reached up and fixed his glasses, straightening them so I could better see his eyes. “All better.”
“Thanks.” His smile was less teasing and more goofy.
My stomach flipped and my throat suddenly tightened. “I still need you to drive us back to the hotel. I can’t have you running off blind.”
Reid took a moment to clean the two of us off before fixing his clothing and carrying me back to the passenger’s seat. I kept sneaking glances at him as he went around and quickly cleaned up any mess we may have left. Occasionally, he caught me staring and so I fixed my hair or tugged on my shirt.
God, this felt as though I’d time-warped to when we’d first met. But unlike then, we’d both changed, grown more comfortable in our skins. We couldn’t be more different and yet, the good parts were still us.
Reid finally got back behind the wheel and closed the door. “I think we’re all set. You okay?”
I hadn’t realized that I’d been staring. “Yeah, I’m good. Sorry, I think you blew my mind there.”
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