Part-Time Devdaas...

by Rugved Mondkar

  “Work, where else?”

  “Okay,” I began to walk to my room.

  “I’m fasting so I didn’t make lunch. Tell me what you’ll have.”

  “No, don’t bother. I’ll eat out with Raghu.”

  “You sure?”

  “Ya, ya.” I disappeared in my room and locked myself.

  I watched the ceiling fan go round and round with droopy eyes. I was tired and drained but my brain refused to let my eyes sleep. Every time they dozed, the subconscience mind woke me. The problem was, after getting a job with Rizwan, I was so cautious of not making any mistakes to lose it that in past six months of working for him, I had trained myself to be awake at all hours in case he wanted me. But now the job was gone, leaving me behind with an over chary mind. Since all my attempts to sleep failed, I dragged my feet to the balcony and lit a cigarette to divert my mind. I had a terrible itch to call Hrida but it was her birthday and I had no intention of ruining it. Instead, I called Raghu.

  “And the big guy calls after three months!” he said audibly pissed.

  “Hey man, sorry I didn’t...”

  “Oh don’t bother, I’m not your boyfriend anymore...”

  “Yes, and yet you sound irritated.” I said goofily, “ Sorry baby!”

  “Bitch...”

  “Really sorry man, got buried in work.”

  “I understand, how you been?”

  “Good.”

  “Wait a minute,” he paused, “Why are you calling from your landline?”

  “Because my phone conked out.”

  “Fucker, you are back!”

  “Ya.”

  “So why are you at home? Come here and help me plan the party for your girlfriend.”

  “Where?”

  “My house, man. Raunak is on tour with his wife so it’s a lodge!”

  “Why do you call him by name, man?”

  “Shit this surprise just couldn’t get any better. Hrida’s going to lose it.” I could almost see the glint in Raghu’s eyes. Organising hit parties gave him kicks.

  “She’s been missing you like hell lately. I just can’t wait to see the look on her face.” I smiled, imagining her smiling. “Just come fast, bitch!”

  The party rocked as expected. Raghu’s living room was cleared of all the furniture to make way for the dance floor. Since it was Hrida’s birthday, everything from the cake to the menu was vegetarian. There were two separate bars. One served alcohol and fillers while the other provided milkshakes and cold coffees for Hrida and her teetotaler friends. The ambiance created by the rented party lights gave the house the correct look of a club. Raghu had over zealously invited everyone Hrida knew – her friends at school, college, office. The bastard made sure only her girlfriends came and the guys who were present were only there because their girlfriends were invited. The thing was that Raghu was on a dry spell ever since he had dumped Kanya.

  Shashank and Neha were supposed pick Hrida up from work and bring her to the party. I, in the meanwhile was gift wrapped with ribbon, and was hiden in a closet in Raghu’s room. I found it amazingly retarded but if all that meant making Hrida smile, then what the hell. I only hoped she wouldn’t freak out. I heard muffled screams and voices wishing her as I stood between the stinking clothes of my beloved friend. It had been more than three months that I had seen her so the excitement of meeting her shot my pulse. Hrida’s giggling got clearer as Raghu brought her in the room.

  “What? you arranged a party but didn’t get a cake for me?” She said giggling.

  “Ya, I was kinda short on money so got you a gift instead.” Raghu said.

  “Raghu, what are you do...?”

  “Shut up... Just close your eyes.” Raghu scolded. “No peeking, comprende?”

  “Si, Si,” she goofed.

  “Now slowly, walk, one, two, three, enough.” Their voices were very close now “This is the handle, now open the door.”

  She opened it and a smile propped my face as I saw her.

  “Now your eyes!”

  She did and the crowd screamed. Her eyes widened as she saw me. She covered her face with her hands and looked at Raghu, then at me again.

  “Happy Birthday...” I said walking out of the closet.

  As a response, she threw her arms around and hugged me tightly. I hugged her back. The intensity of the hug said how much she’d missed me. Not that I hadn’t missed her but I had never seen this vulnerable side of hers before. With her breathing going haywire, I could tell she was crying. The best part about best friends is that they understand even slightest of change in your expressions so when I looked at Raghu for help, he shooed everyone away from the room, leaving us alone. A few more minutes later when she released me, there was a huge grin on her face.

  “Shit you really are here!” She slapped my arm as she wiped her eyes.

  “You might need an expert hand at doing that,” I said pulling the handkerchief to straighten her ruined kajal.

  “Raghu did this to you?” She peeled the bow pasted on my head as I bent down to wipe her eyes.

  I looked into her eyes, and that very moment everything else went for a toss. God, she was beautiful. I exhaled heavily as I ran my thumb through her lower lip. She held me by the neck and kissed me. The intensity of it no lesser than the hug, but why would I complain.

  For some reason that night I couldn’t take my eyes off her the whole time. Hrida indeed possessed the power to instantly flush all my pains away. I felt like stabbing her hyper enthused friends after the cake cutting when they pulled her away from me to dance. I picked my glass and took the corner of the room to get a better view of her. To me, everybody else in the party was invisible. She caught me looking at her and ordered me to the dance floor. I laughed it off, it wasn’t my day. The party took its patented course of people getting wasted and exhausted from dancing and continued for another three hours after which Raghu, Shashank and I had to parcel the girls to their homes.

  “At times like these, I so badly wish I was single,” Shashank said.

  “Dude! Be careful what you wish for,” Raghu said opening the door with his key.

  “Hey baby, you still awake? I thought you’d be half dead by now,” Shashank said to Neha as we entered.

  “You think I’d miss the night with you for sleep?” She instantly got off the couch and hopped towards the bedroom. Shashank followed her nodding his head in fake embarrassment.

  “Behave yourself guys, its my parents’ roo...” The door banged before he completed his sentence.

  “Fuck...” Raghu paused dramatically, “Twenty-nine girls I invited... and not one of them looked at me.”

  Hrida and I laughed.

  “No Hrida, seriously, look at me!” He stood up and turned round and round in front of her. “Do you think there is anything wrong with me?”

  “There is nothing wrong with you baby. I told you it’s Kanya. She’s cast a spell on you. Go beg her for her forgiveness and everything will be alright,” Hrida said. I laughed.

  “Don’t you guys have some making out to do? Get off my couch. I really need to sleep.” He snapped pulling us from the couch. We hugged and kissed him.

  “Thank you, baby,” I said to him before entering his room.

  “Have fun kids!” he yelled.

  I slid my hand through her waist and hugged her from behind as soon as we entered Raghu’s room. I closed my eyes, rested the lips on the back of her shoulder after nuzzling on it for a while. Her body smelled so soothingly intoxicating that she could have pacified a raging bison if she willed. Ever since I met Hrida, I’d always looked to her for emotional restitution whenever anything went wrong. She had taken care of all my paranoia and ever hurtful life and stood by me. I just wanted to stand there holding her like that forever.

  “Thank you, baby,” she ruffled my hair stretching her hand behind.

  “Mmm...” I said loosening the grip on her waist for her to turn.

  “I never thought I’d be so cheesy but the past
three months felt empty without you,” she said impishly and hugged me. “I love you.”

  “Thank you,” I replied.

  “Thank you?” She raised an eyebrow. I nodded yes and stiffed my lips to control the smile. I felt an excruciating pain as she stamped on my feet, then placing her other foot on me, she ordered, “Walk me around.”

  “I hope you understand I’m not Stallone and you are not feather light?”

  “I know, it’s a punishment.”

  She giggled as I oscillated sideways to rotate around myself. Then three extremely heavy steps later, I crashed on the bed with her in my arms. Even though my feet hurt like hell it was totally worth it.

  “I love you...” I said planting a kiss on her cheek.

  “And I am sorry.”

  “For?”

  “For saying thank you which is Hrida’s patented reply.”

  “And?”

  “And I love you,” I stared at her with love-struck eyes. “A lot.”

  “Cheesy sala, come here...” she pulled me close and bit my cheek. I held her close.

  “How’s office?” I asked.

  “Oh that reminds me, where is my phone?” She hopped off the bed.

  “It’s fun as usual,” she said as she rummaged through her purse to find the phone. “Ah, finally!”

  “What are you doing?” I sat up folding my legs.

  “Putting up a mail for tomorrow’s leave. I wanna spend as much time with you till you are free.”

  “Hrida, wait.”

  “What?”

  “I have to tell you something.” The bitter reality came back.

  “What’s wrong?” After a brief pause, she asked again, “Hello? What?”

  “Rizwan fired me last night.”

  “Shit! But why?” She sat on the bed.

  “I kinda screwed up.” The rancidness of humiliation resurfaced as I told her what happened.

  “What an asshole! I can’t believe he pushed you.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  “How can someone be such a dick?

  She climbed up and sat facing me folding her legs.

  “I think it’s something to do with me, people just hate me.” I stared at her cuspated fingernails as I pressed my thumbs against them to inflict pain.

  “I know how you feel right now. Had I been you, I might have killed myself. You are still doing good, I’m proud of you.”

  “I thought I’d learn something and find some footing after this job, but all I did was clear dirty plates and get nowhere. What’s worse is that he fucked me in front of all the contacts I made, so even if they give me a job, I’ll always be the guy who got publicly screwed by Rizwan Qureshi.”

  “Oh come on, lose the crap. No one remembers. big deal man, you lost one you’ll find another one.”

  “You know I thought I’ll never have to lie to Mom and Dad about anything again, but now I have to.”

  “So don’t lie, tell them what happened.”

  “What do you think will happen then?” She looked at me blankly.

  “Last thing I need right now is a I-told-you-so lecture from Mom.” I was so frustrated that tears poured out of my eyes without permission.

  “Arjun, listen to me.” She pulled my head up to level with hers, “What happened has happened, you cannot undo it, it was your fault but you didn’t deserve what happened, and this possibly is not the last time something like that will happen. I mean come on, it’s the industry, it is known to do cruel things to people.”

  “I bloody burnt myself for two years to get it.” My tears continued rolling out.

  “I know that job meant a lot, but that’s not what you want to become in life. You’ll find another that will inch you forward.”

  I nodded yes wiping my tears. “Come here!” She pulled me to hug. I dabbed my nose with my sleeve to wipe the snot away.

  “I love you,” I said.

  “This is gonna cost you much more that a plain love you,” she said planting a kiss on my cheek. “Yum, thoda namak zyada hai but I’ll make do with it!!” She goofed.

  I held her face with my shivering fingers and rested my nose on hers. The dumb heart of mine as usual began its somersaults as my lips brushed hers. It had been four years with her but I could never figure what about her turned my life upside down. The effect that she had on me was inexplicable: one look, one smile, one kiss from her is all it took for the internal architecture of my body to crumble. I shifted my hand from her face to her hair for the grip and kissed her upper lip. Shivers ran down me as she reciprocated by nibbling my lower lip. I slumped on the bed and she slid herself on top of me. She pinned my hands and tussled with my t-shirt to kiss my collar bone; a while later, in a fit of excitement, she pulled it off me and threw it on the floor. My eyes squinted as she came closer to kiss me. I unzipped her dress, unhooked her bra, and held her down by her bare back. The smell and feel of her body rubbing against mine created an everlasting trance.

  “Please stop...” Hrida whispered to me as I began to undo the rest of her clothes. I was so god damned zonked out of my mind that I didn’t pay heed to her request, though now I wished I had stopped. What started as gentle snugly comforting intimacy turned into wild primal wanting. My eyes stared at hers while our bodies moved in sync. Finally the thing I had saved myself for from all the girls in my past happened. I lost my virginity, but somehow it wasn’t the way I imagined it to be. It was far from a good feeling. Knowing that Hrida didn’t want it, filled me with guilt more than any kind of pleasure. A part of me broke as I saw tears seep away from her eyes after we were done. I had asked her to trust me blindly which she did, and I blew it up. She awkwardly responded as I stretched my arm to hug. I prayed that Hrida was ready for whatever happened and I had not hurt her, but prayers are not always heard.

  Next morning, I woke up to an empty bed. No message, no note from her.

  She was gone.

  Shit.

  7:30. I checked the clock when the blaring sound of the alarm woke me. I snoozed it and went back to sleep. It had been three months now that I moved in with Gayatri, and that meant I could afford sleeping an extra hour every day. Traffic in LA no more bothered me since I could walk to college and could party as long as I wanted, without the sword of commuting back home to Artesia hanging over my head. After Radhika’s baby had come, her place was always buzzing with her in-laws and guests, making it highly tiring to live there. So when Gayatri suggested that I share the apartment with her, I readily agreed.

  The alarm went off again, finally forcing me to pull myself out of bed, but sleep refused to leave my eyes. Only coffee can help now, I told myself and sauntered to the kitchen. I was so sleepy that I wished I could walk with my eyes closed.

  “If it’s coffee you are making, then I’ll love to have some too.” A heavily British accented male voice said startling me so much that it threw me off balance, leaving me grappling for grip on kitchen platform.

  “Who are you?” I asked irritated.

  “Eric, I…I was with your roomie last night,” he said.

  “H-hi...” I said and half smiled.

  Going by his partial nudity and freshly minted hickeys on his body, he was definitely not just a friend of Gay.

  Shit! she was cheating on Aneesh with this gora. Maybe not. Gay wasn’t one of the girls who’d stray. He could just be her friend, or… Shit!

  With all the random thoughts whirling in my morning mind, I handed Eric a mug of coffee.

  “Why are you still here?” Gay asked as she walked out of her room.

  “I have to have a coffee in the morning to help my bowels,” Eric said animatedly.

  “OK, whatever, just make it fast. I have to go to work.”

  The guy took his time to leave. Gay meanwhile ran on the treadmill, behaving as if he was invisible.

  “I thought you were working today?” I asked, realising her treadmill run went beyond her usual schedule.

  “It’s Saturday na today, beta.”
r />   “Ya but you told Eric you had to, so I thought...”

  “Oh yes his name was Eric, I was trying to remember.”

  She said panting “I lied...”

  “OK.” I had an intense urge to ask her about what she was up to with the gora, but it was none of my business. I got back to my workout. Yes workout. Another good thing that happened after moving in with her. I had initially evaded it, but Gayatri’s persistent nagging forced me to give up. So much was the persuasive power of her nagging that she harrowed me into quitting smoking as well. But I had no qualms about it. I never felt better.

  “You suck at telepathy...” she said.

  “Huh?” I said pausing the push-ups, sweat dripping off my nose.

  “I had to read your face to know...”

  “Know what?”

  “That you are itching to shoot me down with your questions,” she said as she jumped off the treadmill and caved in on the couch wiping her sweat. I sat on the floor folding my legs. “So?” She asked.

  “So... Umm... I don’t mean to intrude.”

  “Skip the preface please.”

  “Who was the guy?”

  “He was my attempt to give my body the physical attention it needs.”

  “You mean you slept with him behind your boyfriend’s back.”

  “Wow, when you put it like that, it feels like I’m a premium quality slut.”

  “I’m sorry I…”

  She began to giggle.

  “It’s alright, but yeah, it’s pretty much what you said. Just that Aneesh knows about him and others if I do that.”

  “But I thought you guys loved each other.”

  “So?”

  “So ideally are you not supposed be loyal to the person you love?”

  “Ideally. Not when you stay five thousand kilometres away and meet only twice a year. video chats don’t satisfy you sexually, you know. Sex and feelings are mutually exclusive.”

  “Then why be in a relationship? Stay single till you find someone who lives closer.”

  “Love?”

  “Your concepts are a bit ridiculous...”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “Look, all my life the society preached me to save myself for the one true love, and when I found him, I have to stay away from him. It’s been five years that we’ve been living away from each other. I am thirty-two and he is thirty-five and by the time life is gracious enough to bring us together, our bodies will be menopausal.