Dom Diaries: Tangled up in you

by Michael James

  I decided while I was getting ready that I was going to make the best of this night. I came on this vacation to be with good friends, relax and have a good time. I'm not going to let my dreams and the fucking diary ruin this good time. The past needs to go back where it came from and stay there.

  We walk into the restaurant and they put us right smack dab in the center of the dining room at a large round table. Justin wastes no time getting started on drinks. He orders a round for everyone. I'm not going to complain, a Jack and Coke sounds like one hell of a good idea to me. We all look over the menu and when at the ocean I guess the main entrees are seafood. Not my first choice, but it's been a while since I've had some crab legs.

  I give the waitress my menu when I'm done ordering. Someone catches my eye. I give her a nod when she notices me. I turn back to my table. I wait for Justin to finish ordering then I get the waitresses attention before she leaves.

  “I would like to buy the woman over there a drink of her choice, please. You can just add whatever she gets to my tab.” I show her the woman with dark black hair.

  “Didn't picture you as liking women that are moms.”

  I look at Justin then I look at Javen when he says, “And the fact she isn't a blonde.”

  “What is it with everyone busting my balls about women lately?” I snap.

  “Dude, chill. We all have types we tend to go for.” I nod to Bill.

  “Let me ask you all a question. If we all have a certain type we tend to go after, are you married to your preference? Dating in your case, Justin.”

  “I love all women.” Justin clarifies for the group. We all knew that already.

  “Bill wasn't the typical kind of guy I normally dated.”

  The rest of the table is quiet. Probably too afraid of hurting their spouses feelings. “My point is; it doesn't matter what types we like. Hair color, eye color and what not. It doesn't mean shit. When you find the right person all that shit goes out the window. I have yet to find that one girl who I'm meant to be with. To answer your question, Justin, no I don't really date moms. She gave me a bottled water today, so I'm showing my gratitude. Before you ask, whether or not a woman has children is not my deciding factor. There's more to it than that.”

  Olivia changes the conversation and I'm grateful. The topic of my dating life is getting old. I make it a point to check if the woman got the drink without making it obvious to my friends. I smile when she holds it up toward her mouth. She winks when her lips wrap around the straw. I mind my own business once a man approaches her table. It seems she knows him by her reaction to him. Lucky guy, she seems like someone who could be fun to have a weekend rendezvous with.

  We finish our dinner with laughs, drinks and great conversation. We all agreed a night out on the town is what vacation is for. We all get to our feet after our credit cards are returned. I feel a hand on my upper arm. I turn my head to see who is behind me.

  “Thank you for the drink. You didn't need to repay me.”

  I have lost my words. Maybe I've lost my goddamn mind. I shake it off. “I wanted to thank you for the bottle water today. I really needed it.”

  The man that joined her at her table comes over, putting his hand on her lower back. I see his face. I about fall over. I suddenly feel like someone punched me in the gut. I push past them and practically run from the restaurant. This cannot be happening. I'm seeing things or I'm fucking going crazy.

  I get out to the parking lot and I keep walking. I head in the direction of the rental house. I need to get as far away from that restaurant as I can.

  A car pulls up beside me. I briefly close my eyes. I feel a weight lifted off my chest when I hear Olivia's sweet voice. I jump in and throw my head back on the headrest and run my hands down my face. What the fuck am I going to tell my friends about my actions? What are they going to think when I tell them I'm going home. I cannot be here any longer.

  “Abbott, what was that about?”

  “I'm worried about you.” Olivia chimes in.

  I pick my head up and look to the front of the car. “Don't worry about me, Olivia. I just felt like I was gonna get sick. I think the run I went on today in the heat got to me is all.” My best friend looks to his wife and she looks at him. I don't think they bought my bullshit. “I'm fine really. Just drop me off at the house and you two catch up with Bill, Sandy and Justin. I think I'm just going to crash for the night. Rejuvenate and I'll be good as new tomorrow.”

  “Abbott,” Javen says.

  I cut him off. “Honestly, please go out and enjoy yourselves. I'm just tired.” We pull up to the house. “I'll see you in the morning.” I get out and walk up the driveway, praying they just leave me alone. I'm thrilled when I hear the car drive off.

  I go around to the back of the house, opening the sliding door to the basement. I strip off my dress shirt and toss it to the mattress and then kick my shoes off. I fall onto the bed, grabbing a pillow and tucking it under my upper body. I didn't see what I thought I did. It's impossible. I'm just exhausted and my mind is playing tricks on me. I just need fucking undisturbed sleep. I'm hoping I get a good night of rest and wake with clearer mind.

  Chapter Seven

  I hear the sliding glass door close that I hadn't realized I left open earlier. I then feel a breeze across my bare back as a blanket covers me. I remain still as can be, keeping my breathing calm. I feel her fingers comb through my hair and Olivia's voice close to my ear, telling me once again she's worried about me and that she's here for me. She kisses my cheek before leaving me to my room in the basement. I never opened my eyes, hoping that I can fall back into a deep sleep.

  I pick my head up, turning my head, and placing my other cheek on the pillow to get comfortable again. I try to remain relaxed. I was sleeping so peacefully until I heard everyone come in upstairs. It's not that they were very loud, it's that I am a light sleeper.

  I roll over and stare up in the dark at the space above me. I see the girl from the beach and the restaurant. I shouldn't call her a girl because she is all woman. A very sexy one at that. A woman who I wouldn't mind having a night of fun with. My cock twitches when I picture how it all would go. It would all start with her on her knees at the foot of the bed. Me standing in front of her, slowly moving her white oversized sweater from her shoulders, revealing her lace bra hidden beneath. I'd kiss the skin of her chest and work my way up to her neck. Then I would fill my hand with her jet black hair, pulling it backward, exposing more of her delicious skin for me to taste. I'd begin her pleasure with the soft touch of my lips at first. Then with my free hand, my fingers would work their magic, bringing her that much closer to knowing what pure pleasure really is. Just before she falls over the cliff, I would demand that she turn around. She'll do whatever I say at this point. After all, she wants the orgasm that she knows will come. I have no intentions of shoving my manhood in her just yet. I'd be nowhere near ready to give up such a perfect, spankable ass. Fuck no; this woman is now mine for the night. My palms tingle with anticipation. My shaft hardens at the thought of her before me, taking my hand upon her ass before I bring her to orgasm. Just when she thinks I'm done, I’ll fuck her cunt the way I want. Her pussy would milk my cock for every drop of my cum as her walls squeeze tighter and tighter around my shaft.

  I groan when my hand strokes my throbbing cock faster. I cup my balls and gently massage them. I hear her moan out my name in my ear and I groan again as my orgasm spews out of my shaft onto my stomach. I keep stroking my hard cock. The sensitivity is intense so I slow my pace, making sure I get the full effects of the orgasm.

  I use the heel of my palms to wipe the blurriness from my eyes. I toss the blanket off that Olivia put over me sometime during the night. I slide to the edge of bed and get up. I take a quick shower, brush my teeth and then grab a pair of jeans and slip them on. I walk over to the sliding glass door and the morning is just beginning. I could use some coffee, but I don't want to wake anyone upstairs. I go over to the dresser and grab my wal
let. I remember there's a small cafe not too far from here. I get my sneakers on and when I reach the door, I go back and grab the diary.

  Checking my watch, I see it's only six. It's already warm, so I would assume it's going to be another hot day. I wish I would have worn shorts instead of jeans.

  I pull the handle and enter the cafe. It didn't take me long to get here at all. Actually, it was much closer than I had first thought. The place is pretty much empty, and I'm completely okay with that. I order an onion bagel with cream cheese and a dark roast coffee with Italian creamer. I choose the bench seat to the left. It's the side that has less people occupying the tables.

  I sip on the hot liquid and eat my bagel. I swear if the diary sitting on the table could have a voice, it would be calling out my name. I'm not even a hundred percent sure why I grabbed it before I left. It seems the more I write in the damn thing, the more my life feels upside down. Last night being the worst.

  I get up from the bench seat and go ask to borrow a pen. The young man gladly gave me one to use. When I sit back down with pen in hand, I open to the first blank page.

  April 8, 2019

  I last saw my father the night the SWAT team came in and removed me from our home. As the years pass, the image of him in my mind faded. From the age of twelve to about sixteen, I wondered if I would recognize him if I ever saw him again. I was a kid, naive to think I would forget his face. He's my dad, I would know him anywhere, right? There were many times, I wanted him to come find me. Once I turned sixteen, I didn't care anymore. I realized he was a lousy father and that I was better off without him. I didn't want to remember his face anymore.

  My father's face isn't the only face I didn't want to forget from my past. When I left the Amish farm, I didn't ever. want Jenna's face to ever fade. That changed over the years as well. I told myself to forget her when I joined the academy, to move on with my life and build a fresh one. I couldn't start a new life with the past lingering in my mind. That is when I decided I had to let go. I had to bury my entire past and never look back. I did so well for years. I did forget my father's face. I forgot Jenna's also. That is until I was introduced to the Dom/sub world. After my first encounter with taking part, I saw Jenna's face again that night. It freaked me the fuck out. I'm not going to lie, I felt even more turned on. I couldn't get enough of the life style. I realized early on that the reason I couldn't stop Alden from whopping Jenna was because I wanted to do the things he was doing to her. I was excited, but on the other hand I wanted to be the one smacking Jenna's ass with a belt. I got tangled up in her for a while. I used women to fulfill a young boys fantasy. I stopped being a dominant for about a year. I decided it wasn't healthy for me. I needed to put Jenna back in the past where she belonged and never let her back out.

  I wasn't done being a Dom, though. I just took a break from that life style. After a year, I visited Unlimited for the first time. I got invited by an associate of mine to go. Everything inside me felt alive again. I found who I was without seeing Jenna anymore. I didn't see her face anymore, that is until she showed up in my dream the other night.

  I'm not sure if I would know Jenna if I were to ever to see her again. I cannot say the same about my father. It only took me a few seconds to know I was staring him in the face last night at that restaurant. If he didn't recognize me, he needs to look in the mirror more often because I'm pretty much the spitting image of him.

  I close the diary. Last night after seeing my father all I could think about was getting the hell out of the Outer Banks. Now, here I am exposing myself out in public. What are the chances I'll run into him again? I grab my things and hurry out of the cafe. If I saw the same woman twice in one day, it's possible to run into him again. I cannot take that chance.

  Chapter Eight

  By the time I get back to the rental house, I am pretty much out of breath. I ran, I jumped a fence and ran more. My group of friends look at me as if I have two heads. I don't know what to do. I didn't think about the possibility that they may be up so early after a night out. Although, I didn't think about anything except for running as fast as I could. I don't have a clue what to say to them. I should have used the entrance to the basement and then I could have avoided their looks.

  Out of nowhere, I ask to talk to Javen alone. He gets up from the table on the upper deck and steps past me to go down the stairs that I frantically just ran up. I shake my head and look at the rest of my friends still at the table. Without another word, I go down the steps, too. I follow Javen to the lower patio just outside where my bedroom is. He sits down, setting his coffee mug on the table. I toss the diary and it slides across the table.

  “What's this?” He asks.

  “A diary I started a few days ago. I took your advice and started one”

  “You want me to read it?”

  “It's fucking with my head, Javen, and I don't know what to do about it.”

  “Work?”

  “No. Something entirely different. There are things I've written about that are not supposed to be shared, ever.”

  “You know I have your back no matter what. If you need to talk or whatever, I'm here for you whenever you need me.”

  “I want you to read it, but you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone. Not even Olivia.”

  He grabs the diary off the table. I can't watch him read about my past. I don't want to see the disappointment on his face when he learns I told him a few lies about my childhood. What is he going to think about me when he reads about Jenna? Will this change our friendship?

  I pace back and forth the length of the patio. My stomach is all knotted up. The rhythm of my heart beats faster with each minute that passes by that he continues to read.

  “Abbott, sit the fuck down.”

  I face him and see the diary is closed and on the table. He kicks out a chair. Is he angry with me?

  “I'm sorry I couldn't tell you sooner.”

  “Man, I'm not worried about that. I know how the program works. You really think that was your father last night?”

  “I know it was. Last night I thought I might have been exhausted and seeing something that wasn't there. This morning though, I went to the cafe a few blocks from here. On my way back, I heard him call out my name.”

  “So, what do you want to do? You have a few options.”

  “The only option I see is getting as far as I can away from here.”

  “Or you could face him.”

  “And do what, tell him he's a piece of shit?”

  “For starters, yes. It might help you to finally put your past to rest once and for all.”

  “I don't know, Javen.”

  “Have you ever thought that maybe you need closure? You were a kid that was swooped up and taken from your home without knowing why. Your father could hold those answers.”

  “He was the mafia, what more is there to know?”

  “Don't you want to know why you were put in the system? If I were you, I'd want to know.”

  “What if I confront him and don't like what he has to say? What if I never get rid of him again?”

  “We don't live here. You give him a fake name as well.” I get up from the table and start pacing again. “Abbott, you asked yourself in this diary, ‘Why now? Why at this point in my life?’ It's like this diary was foreshadowing to prepare you.”

  “I am nowhere near being prepared to face him. You saw how I reacted last night.”

  “That's because you were caught off guard.”

  I see Keets’s arguments. He’s right on many of his points. Closure on my past might be what I need as he said. I've never been told why I was taken from my father, my home, or my identity. I was dropped off at Alden’s farm and told to never speak of my past. I was told my new name and that was all. I went along with it, never asking why. All because I was a dumb kid and I saw them as my government protecting me from something that must be bad. I was twelve, I knew about what is right and wrong and I knew the drugs, and the guns weren't
the way my peers lived.

  “What about the rest of it?”

  “That isn't for me to judge you on. You are not the only Dom in the world.” He chuckles. I look at him with a smirk on his face.

  “I guess not. How did you know?”

  “I saw something similar to what you did and just knew I had to know more.”

  “Makes sense.”

  “The plan today is boating. How about you come with us and relax.”

  “What if I run into him again?”

  “Now that you know your father lives and is here, I think you will know what to do. I think the stars are aligning.”

  “And what do I tell our friends?”

  “Nothing. Just be yourself.”

  “Okay.”

  Keets gets his empty coffee mug and heads back up to where everyone else is. I am still unsure if I should stay and enjoy this vacation or go home. Either way, I have about an hour to decide.

  Two hours later we are all on a pontoon boat. Bill is controlling the boat. The two girls are already soaking up the sun while Justin and Javen are chit chatting amongst themselves. Me, I'm just sitting here with so many thoughts running through my mind. What if I do see my father again? What will I say to him? What am I allowed to tell him about myself? Is Javen right that I should give him a fake name or maybe just let him call me by my given name? It hasn't gone far from my mind that if I found my father could I ever find Jenna as well? I would like that. Not to fulfill a fantasy from long ago, but because she was my friend. I would love to know if she ever got away from the farm and Alden Parkinson.

  Justin holds out a beer in front of me. “Looks like a perfect time to crack open a cold one.”

  I take it and twist the cap off. Before I bring it to my lips, I say, “Couldn't agree more.”

  Bill drops the anchor and we float around. The girls continue to sunbathe and us guys start talking about the job. Bill retires in a few more years and Justin has many to go. Keets and I bust their balls how they are under lock and key and we are free birds. Then we talk about a bust we did just over a year ago, right before Keets retired. It was one that none of us will ever forget. We aren't really supposed to be discussing the case, but we are out in the ocean no one's gonna hear us.