I think back to the time I spent with Eliza. It's true she would be a good fit for me if I were looking for a relationship. Besides, it wouldn't workout. She works for my father. I'm not sure if I want him in my life. Dating her would complicate things. I think about when we all had dinner and then relaxed around the bonfire.
"Olivia, do you remember you asked Eliza if she ever felt like she had met someone before?"
"Yes, that was weird."
"At the time, I thought it was odd how quick she changed the subject. Are you sure you haven't met her before? The way she dodged your question and then said something you heard before. Is it possible?"
"Fate brought us together, may our destinies do the same. I've only ever heard her say it, but that doesn't mean other people don't say it."
I start pacing. I, too, know someone who said that phrase a long time ago. I'm starting to think everything is too coincidental. My diary, my father and now Eliza. I have a lot of pieces in front of me and I need to figure out how they all fit together. I look at Olivia, Keets is a mess. He's knows something that he can't share. He said himself, he can't sleep because of all these secrets. He read my diary.
I sit at the table, looking right at Olivia. "Deanna Parkinson." Olivia's eyes grow wide. I can read her, she knew Deanna and I need to know how. "You know who she is or better yet, who she was?"
Olivia bites her lower lip and then looks down to her lap. "I don't know who that is."
"Don't lie to me. How did you know Deanna?"
"Abbott, don't," Javen says, standing in the doorway.
Olivia gets up and goes to Javen, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. She then takes his hand and leads him over to a chair. She sits back down, closing her eyes and takes a deep breath.
"Yes, I knew who Deanna was. She was like a little sister to me that I never had."
I look at Javen. "Did you know before or after reading my diary?"
"After."
"And you didn't say anything?"
"I couldn't. She's my wife, Abbott. What else was I supposed to do?"
"I'm right here. What are you two talking about?"
I get up and I go to the kitchen. I pour myself a stiff drink. No fucking wonder Keets can't sleep and drank enough today for the both of us. I pick up my drink and drink it all. I turn around and throw the glass. It smashes against the wall, shattering all over the place.
I feel her hands on my shoulders. I shut my eyes. "I never knew. You are not the Heath I remember."
"Neither are you, Jenna."
"You left that farm and I couldn't bear to be there without my best friend. I ran away from there the day after you left me. I looked for you, but I had no idea who you became. You just got in their car and went away with a new identity in hand and never looked back."
"I saw your face so many times after I left, how did I not see it in you?"
"I changed what I could about Jenna. My hair color was first, then I got colored contacts and then I eventually changed my name. Many years have passed, Abbott. A combination of age and time fades the image we keep in our memories."
"I didn't want to leave you, but I knew I couldn't take care of you. I had five hundred bucks in my pocket and a new name, that was it. I was in love with you. It killed me to just walk away."
"We were kids. We did what we had to do. As Deanna always said, 'Fate brought us together, may our destinies do the same.' It happened. It's just our paths are different this time."
"Yeah, I guess."
"You became someone to be proud of, Abbott. We both did. I swear you are much taller and…"
"Olivia, Abbott," Javen says coming into the kitchen, "who was at the farm first?"
"I was there long before Hea… I mean, before Abbott showed up. Why?"
"Do you happen to remember the date Abbott arrived?" Olivia tells him and I just look at her. She shrugs a shoulder. "Your father's log started four days afterward. I think he might be telling you the truth."
I go to my dining room and start tossing all the papers back in the box. Javen and Olivia just stare at me as if I've lost my shit again. "I'm done doing this. All these papers mean nothing to me."
"Wait if Eliza is Deanna, and that man is your father. How in the hell did she end up working for him?"
Javen starts taking the papers back out. "That's a question that has been bothering me."
"It's getting late. How about we start fresh tomorrow?"
Olivia eyes me and then gets Javen to agree. I show them out, thankful they left. I need to let everything the day unfolded to set in. This last week has unraveled my entire past.
I grab my phone. Eliza gave me her number. I send her a text asking if we can see each other. I hold my phone, waiting for her to reply. A minute passes by, then another and another. I set it back on the table, giving up.
Chapter Thirteen
April 13, 2019
I was sixteen when Jenna, Deanna, and me went swimming with a bunch of kids from school. Deanna never really hung out with Jenna and I before that day. We all got up extra early that morning to do our chores. It helped that Alden was in a good mood that day and he allowed us to go to the creek. We met up with the other kids a little after noon. We swam for hours before we ended up sitting on the bank for a while. Someone got the idea to play a game. I cannot remember how it happened, but I ended up having to kiss Deanna. It was exciting to finally kiss a girl. However, the only problem was, it wasn't Jenna. I was holding out for the day that I would get up the courage to just press my lips to Jenna's and slip my tongue into her mouth. I wanted to savor her taste forever. After I kissed Deanna, I told myself Jenna would be next. It would be better that way since I now had experience under my belt. I was on a high for having kissed a girl, and that it would be better the next time. I hoped somehow the stupid game would match me up with Jenna next. The anticipation only lasted a couple of minutes. Jenna ended up kissing another boy and then they went off together. I was heartbroken. I never said goodbye to anyone. I went back to the farm alone and went to my hiding place. I stayed there until Deanna found me later on. I never asked how she knew where I was. I was so caught up in my own misery that I didn't think about Deanna's feelings at all. She called me a jerk and told me I didn't see what was in front of me. Looking back on it now, I wonder what she meant by it. Was she talking about Jenna or herself?
Today when I told the woman I know as Olivia that I loved her back then, she never said she loved me, too. I realized a long time ago that I was just a boy with a fantasy and feelings for my best friend. Even though those feelings were real for me back then, I let her go many moons ago. Today confirmed I was only a friend to her. She didn't care for me the way I did her. I'm okay with that. I get life changes. I know she's in love with Javen and married to him. Although it stings a little knowing she didn't love me back then, it makes me happy knowing her life turned out wonderfully. She got out. She rebuilt her life from scratch. It seems Deanna did the same. We all survived our childhood. I am grateful and blessed to have them in my life back then. Jenna made light where there was darkness, eventually, Deanna made it brighter when she continued to hang out with us. Life has come full circle. Destinies meet again. Whatever path they take now, it's got to be good. It doesn't matter the names we carry. It only matters the friendships we have in the end.
I close my diary and set it on the nightstand. I pick up my phone and double check that Eliza didn't text me back. I set it back down when I see she hasn't. Whether or not she ever texts me back, I know she's Deanna. The way she talks and laughs, it's all Deanna. I may never know if she knew who I was that day at the beach. I am thrilled to know she escaped that horrible Amish farm.
I get off my bed and go out to the dining room. I open the box and dig for the deed Keets told me he found. I am sending this box back to my father and moving forward with my life. I have everything I need and want right here. I have enough closure to my past. My father lives, my old friends are new people and I'm me. All is well
with the lives we were dealt.
I smile when I find the deed and write the address on a notepad. Tomorrow I'll take this to the post office and that will be that. I put the deed back in the box and head back to the bedroom. It's been a long day. I need a shower and sleep.
I strip from my clothes. I hear my phone sound, letting me know I have a message. I ignore it and go to my master bathroom. When I turn the shower on, my phone goes off again and then again. I turn the water off and go to read the messages.
Olivia: I've been thinking about the night Javen introduce us. That night when I met you, I looked into your green eyes and saw something familiar in them. I should have known it was you. I looked into those very eyes every day for six years.
Olivia: It broke my heart when you left. I waited and waited for you to kiss me or something. I loved you and you just left me.
Me: I wanted nothing more than to kiss you, to hold you in my arms and make you mine forever. It has taken me a very long time to forget Jenna. We were young. You are an incredible woman, Olivia and you are where you belong. Jenna and Heath are no longer. Abbott and Olivia will always be friends.
Olivia: I hope you find love. You are an amazing person Abbott Easton. Deanna or not, Eliza might be the right woman for you. I think you should pursue her.
Me: Thanks for your approval. I think it's best to leave it as a weekend fling.
Olivia: You are a fool. The chemistry between you two is sizzling hot.
I think about the two nights with Eliza. Our sex was…, what did Eliza say? Incredible doesn't come close to describing it.
I glance down when Olivia texts me again.
Olivia: It’s okay to love someone other than Jenna.
Me: I know. I just haven't found her yet.
Olivia: You have. It's right in front of you. Goodnight, Abbott.
Me: Goodnight, Olivia.
I swipe the screen on my phone. I see Eliza returned my text a while ago. I ponder if I should read what it says or not. I already decided I was just going to remember Eliza as weekend fun. A no strings attached kind of weekend. I tap on her name without another thought.
Eliza: I was wondering if you were ever going to get in touch with me.
I fall back into the mattress. I tell myself to ignore her message. I know I reached out to her first. In hindsight, I wish I hadn't. It has nothing to do with Eliza. She's a wonderful person. I run my hands down my face. I hear Deanna telling me I'm a jerk and I don't see what's right in front of me. I sit up. Olivia just said the same thing.
Me: I wasn't going to. You said, 'No strings attached'. This feels like we are attaching those strings.
Eliza: I know what I said. The thing is; I can't stop thinking about you. I want to see you again.
Me: When?
Eliza: I have the rest of the week off.
Me: I'll see you soon.
I set the phone down on the nightstand. What am I doing? I told myself I wasn't going to see her again. I am not acting like myself since the memories resurfaced. I am a well put together guy, not this back and forth bullshit I've been doing. I need to act like myself and take control. My destiny is mine to make.
I stand from the bed and go over to my dresser. I open the middle drawer and grab a pair of gym shorts, slipping them on. I then get a pair of socks and leave my room and head for the foyer. I bend down to get my sneakers before I go and get a bottle of water.
I flip the switch on and my home gym lights up. Once I get ready, I throw my first punch. I hit the punching bag over and over until my arms burn. When I am done doing that, I jump on the treadmill. I run for as long as my legs will let me. I'm not done. I do pushups, pullups, and squats. I'm covered in sweat, my breaths are frequent and my body is telling me to stop.
A workout is my way of putting my thoughts into order. Every drop of sweat, every lost breath and a sore body was all worth it. My mind is clear. I know what I want and what I need. I haven't thought this straight in over a week.
Chapter Fourteen
It feels so goddamn good waking up feeling like myself. I feel revived and the future is looking phenomenal. I know what is right in front of me.
I showered, got dressed and had some coffee. Now all I have to do is move forward with the rest of my day. I have this day all planned out, starting with making a phone call to my father. I want to see him. I dug through his box and looked for his number earlier this morning. I couldn't find it written on any of the papers. Surprisingly, I looked him up; social media is a godsend. Christ, I swear it's the new yellow pages. Not for me, though. You won't find me anywhere. I don't do social media. I like my identity and life kept from the public eye.
I dial his number. "Hello."
"I'm done with the box and I'd like to see you."
"Son, you have just made your old man very happy."
"Don't do that. Don't call me son."
"What name should I call you, then?"
"Are you able to meet me today?"
"I'm home. We left the Outer Banks yesterday. Decided to cut our trip short."
"Glad to hear that. I'm already on my way."
"So, you'll be here…"
"Within the hour. See ya soon."
I hang up without a goodbye. I'm showing him I'm in the driver's seat. I'm not going to be a passenger anymore. I rode through life doing what I was told. I listened to the federal witness protection people. I pretended to be someone I wasn't for six years. I am Abbott Easton and I built who I am. No one is ever changing me again.
I swipe the screen on my phone and tap on Eliza’s name.
Me: What are you doing later?
I set the phone on the seat beside me, thinking it might be awhile for her to respond.
Eliza: That depends on a certain handsome man I recently met. What are you doing?
Me: I'm free later if you want to see each other. I warn you I have conditions.
Eliza: What might those be Mr. Easton?
Me: 1. Delete your last text. Don't ever use my name in a text again. 2. I want you dressed in a cocktail dress. Don't forget matching bra and panties. 3. You have two hours to get ready and then you wait to hear from me.
Eliza: You are demanding, Sir. Looking forward to your next text.
The car comes to a stop. The driver I hired for the day puts the tinted glass divider down. I see the house in front of us. Damn, my father is doing well for himself. The gate opens and he drives us through. When he pulls up out front, my father comes out the front door. I open the back door.
"Get in."
"You don't want to come inside?" I give him a look. "Fine."
I tell the driver an address and put the partition up. "Nice house."
"I like it."
"Is it red and gold inside?"
"No. It's mostly…"
"I was being sarcastic. I don't really give a shit."
"Son." I raise an eyebrow.
"Sheldon, I do not care about your house, about the log, or the receipts you kept. Frankly it doesn't prove much."
"What do you want from me?"
"Tell me how in the hell I was taken from our home, left fatherless and stripped from who I was. I want the entire truth and don't leave anything out."
"After your mother overdosed I knew I had to change. The environment in which I was raising you wasn't healthy."
"Yes, I seem to remember my father telling me one day the business would be all mine. The mafia business."
"I went to the FBI for help. I knew I had to get out and I couldn't just walk away. I needed their protection. I spent almost two years gathering information on everyone in the business. In return I wanted you and I to have a fresh start. Just the two of us."
"That worked out so well."
"I'm telling you the truth. You and me were never supposed to be separated. The bust was our way out. The US Marshal was to take you someplace safe. I was supposed to be pretend arrested and brought to Pennsylvania to be reunited with you."
"So, what happened?
What went wrong?"
"When I arrived I was told they placed you in the program and that it wasn't wise for us to be together anymore. It wasn't he deal. I took my new identity and started searching for you."
"And you found me four years ago?"
"What? No. I never saw you until the restaurant. If I found you four years ago, I certainly wouldn't have waited. I miss my son. I was a shitty parent, but I wanted to change for you, for us."
"Did you go back to the business?"
"Never. I got out for us. I was staying out for us. Just because my son was gone didn't mean I wanted back in."
"How the hell have you been able to afford to travel all over searching for me? And buy that big fancy house with a nanny?"
"All my money didn't come from the mafia. I gave that up when I made the deal. Your grandparents, however, were old money. Billionaires if you must know. When I said all this will be yours, I meant the money not the mafia."
"How am I supposed to know this isn't some big lie you made up over the years?"
"I have voice recordings of the conversation with the FBI. I had to make sure they weren't going to fuck me."
"But they did fuck you, didn't they? You didn't have me, so why didn't you use those tapes to get me back?"
"I tried. They threaten to send me to prison if I used them. I figured it would be best to search on my own."
"Yet it took you thirty years to do so."
"I know, I failed you."
"Do you know where they sent me?"
"No, but I would like too."
"I hated you. The life you provided was shit. Then one day these men wearing armor with SWAT team written on them came in a took me from the father I hated. I was taken to an Amish farm in Pennsylvania. It was hell. The man who was supposed to be a saviour was a prick. He worked us every day, and if he didn't like what we did for him, he beat us in the barn with his belt. That's the life I got."
My father throws his head back against the headrest. He runs his hands down his face, then through his silver hair. "I'm sorry, Son. I truly am."
Dom Diaries: Tangled up in you Page 7