Ride or Die

by Marie, Kay

  “Hey! Y’all are up early,” Madison says as we walk in.

  “I struggle with sleeping in.” I shrug.

  “Are y’all hungry? I can get you something to eat or drink,” Madison says to both of us.

  “I’ll have a ham, egg, and cheese croissant with an orange juice,” Wren tells her.

  “I’ll have the same,” I respond. Madison turns to the counter behind her and prepares our breakfast sandwiches while Emma grabs our drinks. Emma is telling Madison and Wren about the bonfire.

  “Y’all went to the bonfire at my brother’s?” Wren asks shocked. I look at her confused. “My brother, Shade, is a part of the Savage Riders. The four of them recently moved here from Arizona.”

  That’s where I’ve heard the name before. I’m about to respond when customers walk in. I turn around and see Minx and Rivet. I grin at them. The door opens again and my face falls. My heart damn near stops.

  7

  Buster

  A few of us woke up early this morning and chose to go get some breakfast. Minx suggested we go to A Novel Bunch. Most of the brothers were all still asleep, so it’s just Minx, Rivet, Shade, and I. I agreed to A Novel Bunch in hopes I might see Cali. To see if she’s my Cali. I also wasn’t expecting her to be here since she was supposedly at the bonfire last night.

  I barely get through the door when I stop dead in my tracks. She was smiling until her eyes locked on mine. She pales like she’s seen a ghost. She was always beautiful, but she’s even more so now.

  “Cali, are you alright,” Minx asks her.

  “What are you doing here?” Cali is staring right at me, ignoring Minx. She sounds calm. If it wasn’t for her spooked look when she first saw me, I’d think me being here didn’t even phase her.

  “Wait, how do you know Buster?” This comes from Rivet. I haven’t taken my eyes off Cali, afraid she might disappear from my sight. Cali is the one to break first, turning to Rivet.

  “This is Buster?” Cali sounds confused.

  “Oh my God. Is he . . . ” Minx starts with surprise in her voice. Cali walks around the counter and takes off through a set of doors to where I’m guessing is the kitchen.

  “Brother,” Shade whispers. I’m still staring at the doors Cali disappeared through. Minx and Rivet go after Cali, leaving us with Wren, Shade’s sister, and one of the other employees. I finally turn at Shade. “It’s her, isn’t it?”

  My whole crew in Arizona knew I had the one who got away. Shade was the only one I ever told the whole story to.

  “Yeah, it’s her,” I tell him. We walk over to a table and Wren walks over and sits with us.

  “Well, this makes things interesting.” She takes a sip of her drink and glances at her phone before setting it on the table. “So, you know Cali?”

  “Something like that,” I respond.

  “What are you even doing here? I thought you didn’t work today,” Shade says to Wren. Her phone vibrates and a guy’s name flashes across the screen. She looks at it and turns it off, ignoring the call.

  “I felt like coming in and seeing friends. Lend an extra hand if they needed it,” she responds. Shade is glaring at her. He doesn’t believe her. Minx and Rivet walk out of the kitchen before Shade can respond to her.

  “You have some explaining to do,” Minx says to me. She’s standing with her hands on her hips and a disappointed look on her face.

  “I’m not talking to anyone about this until I talk to her,” I tell her. Disappointment is replaced with sympathy.

  “You still love her,” she whispers, I almost don’t hear her right. Wren’s phone vibrates again, the same name as before pops up again.

  “Is that your boyfriend you don’t want me to meet,” Shade asks Wren and her cheeks turn bright pink.

  “Oh, leave her alone!” Minx says to Shade. I chuckle.

  “Go get whatever food or drink you came here for and we’ll head out,” I tell Minx and Rivet. Minx gives me a pointed look and Rivet rolls her eyes at me before they go place their order. The other girl who went into the kitchen with Cali comes out. When she looks at me, she gives me a death glare. I don’t blame her. If Cali told her about me, then she probably told her I broke her heart.

  “I better go make sure Cali is okay. I’ll see you guys later.” Wren stands, grabbing her phone.

  “Wren.” Shade stops her. “If you need anything, I’m always here for you, right?”

  She gives him a small smile. “Yeah, Shade. I know.”

  Fuck, I was hoping I could talk to Cali while we were here. I knew before we got here if it was her, there was a possibility she wouldn’t want to talk to me. I glance around the shop and smile. She made her dream a reality. My eyes land on the books and I get an idea. I walk over to the counter.

  “Do you have a pen I could borrow,” I ask the girl. She hands me one and I go back to the table and grab a napkin. I write a note and my phone number. I take the note and go over to the area with books, searching for a specific one. I find it, put the note inside, and go back to where Shade is sitting.

  “What the fuck was that about?” He’s looking at me like I’m crazy.

  “The start of my plan to get Cali to talk to me,” I tell him. He shakes his head at me. We both know I fucked up. I wouldn’t blame her if she never wants to talk to me, but I have to try.

  “Alright, we can go now,” Minx says as they walk up to us. As we’re leaving, my phone vibrates. I pull it out and see a text.

  From Bull: Church in thirty.

  “We gotta go straight to the clubhouse,” I tell Shade.

  “Why?” Minx pops up right beside me.

  “Church.” It’s all I say, but she understands.

  We pull up to the clubhouse and it looks like everyone is here with how many bikes there are. Both Clutch and Diesel’s cars are here, so I don’t have to worry about bitching at them to get here. I’m sure they were already here when Bull sent out the text. Raze is standing outside, waiting for Minx. I don’t even get the car in park before she’s pushing on the back of my seat.

  “Hurry up and let me out,” she shouts impatiently, causing me to chuckle. I get out of the car and she comes flying out behind me.

  “Hey Minx,” I call out, stopping her before she gets too far away. “Do me a favor?”

  “What’s up?” She’s eyeing me suspiciously.

  “Text Cali and tell her to look for Alaska.” Her face twists in confusion. “Please? She’ll understand what it means.”

  “Okay.” She shrugs and pulls her phone out, typing out the text as she walks over to Raze.

  “Do you really think your little plan is going to get her to talk to you,” Shade asks.

  “Honestly? I’m not sure, but at least I can say I tried,” I tell him. He nods his head but doesn’t say anything. We walk into the clubhouse and the main room is filled with all the brothers. There are a few cut bunnies here, but since the party was at our house last night, the others are probably at their own homes.

  “Alright fuckers, Church. Now,” Bull says as he walks toward the room where we have Church. All the brothers follow suit, dropping their phones into the basket by the door. Once everyone is settled in their seats, Bull sits.

  “Riders, how did the meet with Nikolay go?”

  “He was pleased with his shipment. We let a couple of his guys test the guns. Nikolay said they would be in touch soon with another order,” I tell Bull. He nods his head in approval but his face is unreadable.

  “We got word the Torres Cartel has been seen snooping around. We don’t know why they’re here or what they want, but everyone needs to be on alert,” Bull announces. The cartel hasn’t been an issue for us, but that could always change. They know their business is not welcome here. They’re into some shit the club doesn’t agree with and if they try to bring it here, they’ll be starting a war with us. Bull turns to Raze before continuing.

  “This doesn’t need to be said, but I’m going to say it anyway. Minx needs someone with her a
t all times. If it can’t be any of us, for whatever reason, it will be a prospect.”

  Raze nods his head in response. His face giving nothing away. The cartel could come for her as leverage. She’s not just the club princess or Raze’s ol’ lady. She’s family to everyone in this room. No one would hesitate to keep her safe.

  “I don’t want anyone going anywhere alone. Make sure all the women are aware and keep an ear to the ground. I want to know why these fuckers are here,” Bull growls out. “Does anyone have anything that needs to be discussed?”

  Everyone shakes their head and Bull slams the gavel, signaling Church is over.

  8

  Cali

  I’m pacing the kitchen, freaking out at the fact Ryan is here— in my bakery. I haven’t seen or spoken to him in five years and he decides to show up out of the blue?

  “If you don’t calm the fuck down, I’m going to need a Xanax,” Bash says to me. I stop pacing and glare at him. The kitchen door opens and my heart rate picks up.

  “They’re gone,” Wren tells me as she walks in. I calm down. “So, how do you know Buster?”

  Bash crosses his arms over his chest. He’s heard this story multiple times. I let out a heavy sigh and lean my back against one of the counters.

  “Short version— we met when we were nine. We were best friends through high school and decided to give dating a try. We had an argument one night about our futures which ended with him leaving. Never to be seen or heard from again. Until today,” I explain to Wren. Her jaw drops.

  “No phone call, letter, anything?” She sounds genuinely shocked.

  I shake my head. I had accepted this and have tried like hell to let go and move on. I thought I was making some kind of progress until I saw him. It made it clear how much I truly missed him. It also brought back all the pain from him leaving and I’m mad as hell at him. I never got the closure I needed. Maybe that’s what I need to be able to move on.

  “That doesn’t seem like something Buster would do,” Wren adds.

  “Well, he did,” I spit out and she winces. I hang my head and sigh. “I’m sorry, Wren.”

  “Oh, Cali.” She walks over to me and wraps her arms around me. I hug her back. My phone vibrates in my pocket, causing me to pull away from her. I take it out and I have a text.

  From Minx: Buster said to tell you to look for Alaska.

  My heart drops. In middle school and high school, before Ryan dropped out, we got a little creative with how we would pass notes. My favorite book was and still is Looking For Alaska by John Green. Ryan went to a used book store and bought a worn-down copy of it. He made it into a hollow book and we would fold our notes, put them in the book and pass it to each other. Sometimes, he would put the book in my backpack or my locker when I wasn’t around and would tell me to look for Alaska.

  “Cali, are you okay?” Bash moves to my side.

  “Yeah, I, uh . . . I just need to go check for something.”

  I walk out of the kitchen and go straight to the books. I scan the shelves until my eyes land on the one I’m searching for. I grab it and fan through the pages. It stops somewhere in the middle where, sure enough, there’s a note. I recognize the handwriting as Ryan’s. He starts the note by calling me sólnyshka, small sun. It’s a term of endearment he has used since we were younger. He used to tell me I was the light in his world of darkness. He tried to learn Russian multiple times, but only a little bit actually stuck.

  I’m sorry for showing up out of the blue, but I had to see if it was actually you. I’m sorry for what happened last time we saw each other and for never reaching out to you. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I hope you’ll give me a chance to apologize face to face.

  He signed it with a heart and put his phone number underneath it. I fold the note again, put it in my pocket, and place the book back on the shelf. I keep my hand on the book for a beat, lost in my thoughts. What did he mean he had to see if it was actually me? How long has he been back? Where did he even go? I have so many questions I want to ask him, but I’m not sure if I can face him.

  “Find what you were looking for?” I jump and turn around.

  “Holy shit, Wren! Don’t go sneaking up on people,” I tell her.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” she laughs out. I give her a small smile.

  “What were you looking for,” Emma asks as she walks over to us.

  “Ryan left me a note with his phone number,” I tell them. They both stare at me with wide eyes.

  “Are you going to text him?” Wren blurts out.

  “I’m not sure. Maybe, so I can get the closure I need,” I say.

  “Do you still love him,” Emma asks. I pause before answering her. “You do, don’t you?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t even know him anymore.” I sigh. “It’s been five years. We’re both different people now.”

  “True, but you could get to know each other again,” Wren says.

  “If you go that route, you need to make him prove himself,” Emma adds. She’s right, but maybe all he wants is to apologize then we’ll go our separate ways. I guess I’ll have to text him and go from there.

  “Do we have any special orders for cakes today,” I ask changing the subject.

  “Not today, and Bash has been on a roll keeping everything stocked and ready to go,” Emma says.

  “I’ll get started on doing inventory,” I decide. “Be sure to tell me if you need an extra hand with anything.”

  Wren grabs a book and sits to read. Emma goes behind the counter as a group of people walks in. I go back into the kitchen and start taking inventory there first. Once I’m done with food inventory, I move on to books. It’s three in the afternoon by the time I finish with inventory and ordering things we need. Wren is now on the clock working.

  “Wren, will you need a ride home when your shift is over,” I ask her.

  “No, my roommate is going to pick me up. Thank you, though,” she responds.

  Once I get home, I shower and change into some pajama pants and a tank top. I turn the TV on, but I’m clueless to what’s on. I’ve been going back and forth about texting Ryan or not. I cave in and decide to do it. What’s the worst that could happen?

  9

  Buster

  I’ve been sitting here for the past five minutes staring at my phone. She actually texted me. I didn’t bother thinking of what the fuck I would say if she did since I thought for sure she wouldn’t.

  From Cali: I found your note. I wasn’t sure if I would text you, but here I am. It’s Cali, btw.

  “Why the fuck are you staring at your phone like that,” Shade asks. I look away from my phone to him.

  “She texted me,” I tell him.

  “No shit?” He sounds as surprised as I feel. I look back to my phone and type out a response.

  To Cali: I wouldn’t have blamed you if you didn’t, so thank you. Can we meet somewhere and talk face to face?

  She doesn’t respond right away. This was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have asked her to meet with me yet. After a few minutes my phone pings.

  From Cali: I can’t tonight. Maybe later this week?

  I’ll take what I can get at this point. I’m the one who fucked up. I’m at her mercy.

  To Cali: How about Wednesday? We could meet for an early dinner?

  Again, she doesn’t respond, so I set my phone down and try not to worry about it.

  “You good, brother,” Shade asks.

  “Yeah, I’m good. I asked her if she would want to meet for dinner this week so we could talk,” I tell him.

  “Straight to the point, huh?”

  “I wasted five years not talking to her. I don’t plan on wasting any more time. I have a lot to make up for,” I explain.

  “If she’ll even let you. What happens if she has a boyfriend? Or wants nothing to do with you?” he questions.

  “Then I’ll leave her alone, but I have to try.”

  A couple of hours later, I’m layi
ng in my bed, watching some Adam Sandler movie on TV. My phone pings with a text message. Glancing at it, there’s a text from Cali.

  From Cali: Wednesday works. Meet me at We Knead Pizza at 5:30 p.m. It’s right by A Novel Bunch.

  To Cali: I’ll be there.

  The next few days drag. There haven’t been any more sightings of the cartel, so they’re either laying low or were never here. My bet is on them laying low, waiting for us to let our guard down. Bull still doesn’t want us going anywhere alone. Which is how I ended up with Sketch tagging along tonight. He’s gonna hang out at the bakery while I have dinner with Cali.

  I’ve had a couple of prospects keep an eye on the bakery the last few days to make sure the cartel wasn’t around. So far, so good. I recall Cali telling me her father is a powerful man. I met him a few times, but never long enough to get to know him. She also has two older brothers who check in with her quite a bit. They threatened me a few dozen times in junior high and high school. They’re protective, but good people. One thing I’ve always regretted was not getting to know her family more. Her dad traveled a lot. I had dinner with her and her mom a handful of times. That was always fun. Her mom always cooked amazing meals.

  “Are you nervous about seeing her tonight?” Shade breaks me out of my thoughts.

  “Nah, I’m good,” I say. Shade makes a noise that sounds like a cross between a scoff and a laugh. I shoot him a glare.

  “Bro, it’s been five years. She’s gorgeous and she runs her own business. Which means she’s gotta be smart. Too smart for your dumb ass,” he laughs out.

  “Ha-ha, keep laughing, asshole. I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t want anything to do with me. She’s too good for me.” I pause. She deserves more than I can ever give her. She always has. “I’m glad she’s giving me a chance to talk to her face to face. After tonight, the ball will be in her court.”

  We don’t talk much after that. I finish working on this car, clean my workspace and leave for the clubhouse. I told Sketch I would meet him here and since I still have a room here, I can get cleaned up.