Ride or Die

by Marie, Kay

  "Cali, darlin', come sit," Bull says to me. I stumble into the room and make my way to the chairs in front of his desk. Shade stands behind me. "I have some bad news."

  Tears well up in my eyes, the tightness I felt before in my chest gets worse, my fingers tingle.

  "It's Ryan, isn't it," I ask softly. Bull nods his head. The tears fall.

  "He was in a car accident," he pauses. "His car flipped over multiple times before catching on fire."

  "No," I say, the tears pouring down my face. "No, no, no. This isn't real. He can't be gone."

  My whole body shakes as I sob. At some point, Shade picks me up and carries me out of Bull's office. When he sets me down, my nose is assaulted with Ryan's scent, making me cry harder. Gentle hands are rubbing my back.

  "Oh, Cali. I'm so sorry," Emma says to me. She lays beside me and wraps an arm around me. I cry myself to sleep.

  30

  Shade

  I honestly wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea to take Cali back to Buster's room. At the same time, I thought being in an already familiar place might be best. Emma must have heard her crying from the main room because she was by her side in a matter of seconds. I'm thankful she came to be with her. I didn't know what to do. He's my best friend, my brother, but she's his girl. He was going to ask her to marry him. I doubt she knew because if she did, she would be in even worse shape than she is now. If that's even possible. I close the door so no one else will bother them. I lean against the door and sigh.

  "You okay, brother?" Mouse says as he walks over to me.

  "No, but I will be. I need you to stay outside this door until further notice," I tell him. He gives me a questioning look. "Cali and Emma are in there. I don't want anyone else going in there and bothering Cali."

  He nods in understanding and I walk back to Bull's office. Clutch and Diesel are still sitting in there.

  "I put her in Buster's room. Emma is in there with her and Mouse is standing outside to make sure no one else goes in there," I explain to Bull.

  "Good. Let's go round up all the brothers who are here and tell them in Church," he says. The four of us walk out to the main room together. "Church, now."

  "Not everyone is here though," Saint says.

  "Thank you, Captain Obvious. The others will be filled in when they show up," Bull snaps out. "Now, get to fucking Church."

  I walk in and take my seat, watching as everyone else files in. Bull closes the door behind himself and moves to the head of the table.

  "The Torres cartel has made themselves known. They had one of their hitmen tailing Buster. Buster flipped his car. An informant told me he didn't make it, due to the car catching fire and exploding," he explains to the room.

  "Fuck!" Raze smacks his hand on the table. He and Buster had grown pretty close since Buster had been like a brother to Minx. Minx is going to be almost as torn up as Cali.

  "We're gonna go after those mother fuckers, right, Prez?" Saint growls out.

  "You're damn right we are, but it needs to be planned and executed with caution. We don't need to go in blind and lose anyone else," Bull tells us. "These fucking assholes don't have any morals. I want everyone on lockdown while we figure this shit out and take these fuckers out. Tech, I need you to do your thing and find where these assholes are staying and how many men they have."

  "I'll send out a mass text to anyone not here about the lockdown," Gunner tells Bull. Ranger, our VP, would usually be the one to do it, but he's home with his Ol' Lady right now. He and Thor are the only brothers out of the original five who have Ol' Ladies.

  "Tell them to watch their six and to get here as soon as possible," Bull says. "The cartel could be watching more of our guys so they can strike again. Everyone else, if you have family that you need to bring here, get them here as quick and safe as possible."

  He bangs the gavel and we all disperse. I walk over to Buster's room to talk to Mouse.

  "Have either of them wanted to leave the room," I ask Mouse.

  "No. Cali fell asleep not too long ago. Emma is still in there with her," he tells me. "I checked on them when the crying stopped. This might be out of line but what's going on?"

  "Buster got into an accident." I take a deep breath. "He didn't make it. Club's on lockdown until further notice. Please keep an eye on her. Let me know if she needs anything."

  "You got it," he replies. I walk out to the main room. Raze and Minx are sitting on one of the couches with Rivet, Wren, and Sketch. The girls are all crying. There's a tenseness lingering in the room. Everyone is sorrowful at this moment. Buster got along with everyone. He was a hard guy to hate. Hell, he was a hard guy to ever be mad at. He had the kind of personality he could get along well with anyone and everyone. As soon as Wren sees me, she jumps up and runs over to me, throwing her arms around me.

  "Oh, Shade," she says, sobbing into my shirt. I hold her tight, holding back my own tears. After a couple of minutes, she lets go of me. Tears are still falling down her face, but she's calmed a little. "Sketch said we have to be on lockdown. For how long? Where will I sleep?"

  "You can sleep in my room," I tell her.

  "We have some spare rooms for occasions like this. We'll get you set up in one so you have your own space to go when you need it," Sketch tells Wren. Her cheeks flush pink.

  "Thank you, Sketch," she responds. He goes off to get a room set up and she sits back down on the couch with Minx and Rivet.

  "Where's Cali? Does she need anything," Minx asks. There's Lil Mama coming out again. Always more worried about those around her than herself.

  "She's in Buster's room with Emma," I tell her. "Mouse said she fell asleep. I'll be sure to tell you if there's anything you can do for her."

  I’m getting fucking antsy standing around. It must be recognizable because Diesel walks over to me.

  "Need to get in the gym and work some of those emotions off?"

  "Yeah, I think so."

  We both head to our own rooms to change then we meet in the clubhouse gym. There are all kinds of equipment in here and a boxing ring for when we are in need of burning some energy. Which is what we both need right now.

  We climb into the ring. Diesel wearing the boxing pads first. I jump right into throwing punches, pouring every ounce of anger and sadness into each hit. By the time I'm done, sweat is pouring down my face. For the first time, it didn't make me feel any better.

  31

  Cali

  I wake up around ten at night. Emma is still in here with me. She's sitting with her back against the headboard, watching something on TV.

  "Hey, sleeping beauty. How are you feeling? Are you hungry or thirsty," she asks me. I thought this afternoon was a nightmare until my eyes burn from crying so much.

  "I’m numb," I tell her honestly. The door opens and Mouse pops his head in.

  "Hey, there," he says softly. "Can I get you anything?"

  "No thanks, Mouse," I respond.

  "Bring her some water and hot tea, please," Emma tells him. "Chamomile."

  "You got it." Mouse closes the door, disappearing again.

  "Do you want to talk about anything," Emma asks me. I climb out of bed and walk over to Ryan's closet. I pick out his Savage Riders hoodie and get some boyshorts out of the drawer he had cleared out for some of my clothes.

  "No, I don't." I walk into the bathroom and close the door behind me. I turn on the shower before I take a long look at myself in the mirror. I step into the shower and instantly cry. Things were going so well. We were doing better than ever together. Everything we had is now gone. You never understand how fragile life truly is until it takes someone you love away.

  I let myself cry for a few minutes, then pull myself together enough to do what I need to do and get out. Turning the water off and drying myself off, I move on autopilot. I towel dry my hair as best I can before brushing it out, put my clothes on and leave the bathroom.

  "Mouse brought your water and tea. Drink the water first. You need to stay hydrated
," Emma lectures me.

  I drink the water and climb back in bed. I stare at the TV but I'm not actually watching whatever's playing. Monday is going to roll around and I'm going to have to go back to work despite what happened. The shop is reopening next week and I need to be there to make sure everything goes smoothly. I reach over and grab the tea. Chamomile tea will help me relax, which is exactly why Emma had Mouse make me some. I’m secretly thankful for it. I drink about half the cup before setting it down. Before I know it, I'm getting drowsy again. I slide down the bed until my head hits the pillow and drift off to sleep.

  The next couple of days are pretty uneventful until I tell Shade I'm going back to work.

  "There's no fucking way you're leaving this clubhouse with the cartel still out there potentially hunting anyone in the club or associated with this club," Shade shouts at me. "Buster would fucking come back from the dead and kill me if anything happened to you."

  "Shade, I've already spoken to my papa about this. He is going to provide a full security team to watch over the shop at all times, plus, I'll have two of my own bodyguards," I explain to him. "If it makes you feel any better, I can still come back here every night until things with the cartel are handled."

  "Cali—" Shade starts to say something but is interrupted by Bull walking into the room.

  "Shade, I've talked to the Pakhan myself. He's not going to let anything happen to his daughter," Bull tells him.

  "You're more than welcome to come to the shop with me if it would help any," I suggest to him. He lets out a heavy sigh. This is hard on him too. Ryan may not have been his blood brother, but they were brothers none the less. "I have a business I need to be present for no matter how bad I'm hurting. Nothing any of us do can ever bring him back. Sitting here all day every day, doing nothing but crying over him is not what he would want me to be doing. Letting my baby, my shop, die with him is not what he would have wanted for me."

  By the time I finish talking, tears are pouring down my face. Talking about Ryan, even the littlest amount makes me break down in tears. Shade walks over to me and wraps his arms around me, enveloping me in a hug.

  "I'm sorry, Cali," he whispers. "I want to keep you safe. Buster would have wanted us to keep you safe."

  "And I will be. Papa has the best of the best on his security team for the bakery," I say softly.

  "Alright," Shade says. "But only if I can come too."

  "Of course, Shade. You're always welcome at A Novel Bunch," I tell him.

  "You might be stuck with Sketch too if Wren has to work this week." He lets out a small laugh. Now that we aren't yelling at each other anymore, Bull takes the time to leave the room.

  "I'm okay with that, too." I give a small smile. Small victories are still victories. I know I could be in danger with the cartel still creeping around, but I'm not afraid. Papa has the best of the best to watch out for me, the bakery and everyone in it. The best part is they'll be super discreet. While I will be aware of who is part of the security team, my customers won't. I'm thankful for them being disguised because we can't afford to scare customers away.

  "What time do we need to be there tomorrow?" Shade asks.

  "Uhh," I laugh. "Five in the morning."

  "What!" he asks. "You're kidding, right?"

  "Not at all." I smile at him and leave the room to find Emma. I find her in the main room with Rivet, watching some of the guys play pool. Lexus and her minions are sitting at a table in the corner, minding their own business for once. I walk over to Emma.

  "Guess who got the okay to go back to work tomorrow," I say to her.

  "No way? Are you sure you're ready," Emma questions me.

  "How did you manage that," Rivet asks.

  "Lots of security and Shade," I answer Rivet and turn to Emma. "Yes and no. I need to run my business, and Buster wouldn't want me to let it fall apart."

  "Staying busy could be good for you too," Rivet adds.

  "Well, I'm coming with you," Emma tells me.

  "I'm fine with that. You and I can get more done together anyway." I give a weak laugh. "It will make it easier for Bash too."

  "Have you talked to him?" Emma replies.

  "Kind of. I asked if he would be willing to work the closing shift all week," I explain. "I told him I would explain more tomorrow, but he agreed. I think we should try to hire another baker soon."

  "That's a good idea," she agrees with me.

  "I'll need you and Bash to help me pick someone. I want it to be someone we all three like," I tell her.

  "Of course. You know we got your back." Emma smiles at me.

  "Does a baker need to have a degree," Rivet asks. Emma and I both give her a curious look.

  "Not necessarily. Why? Do you know someone who would be interested," I ask Rivet.

  "Me," she says shyly.

  "You bake?" Emma whisper shouts making Rivet give a nervous laugh.

  "Not recently, but it's something I've always enjoyed," Rivet admits.

  "I’ll gather some of my recipes for the bakery, and we'll test your skills sometime this week," I tell her. Her face lights up.

  "Thank you. Even if you choose to go with someone who has a degree, I truly appreciate you giving me a chance," she replies.

  "Of course! You would fit in perfectly with the three of us," I tell her.

  "We would have so much fun," Emma tells her.

  Rivet tells us how she got into baking. We all swap kitchen horror stories and share some of our favorite recipes. It's a small and welcomed distraction from all the crying I've done in the last forty-eight hours.

  32

  Shade

  Cali wasn't kidding when she said her dad had a security team for her. Two men showed up to escort her to the bakery. I drove her and Emma to the shop with one bodyguard in front of us and one driving behind us. We got to the bakery at five in the morning with an hour to spare before it even opened. One of the bodyguards told us the others were in vehicles strategically placed around the block the bakery is on. Her pops had a new and improved security system set up and Yury, Cali's main bodyguard, is sitting in the office, keeping an eye on the cameras.

  Since Emma came in with Cali, the next employee doesn’t come in until seven and the fourth person will be in around nine. Cali and Emma spend the first hour and a half in the kitchen and customers don’t come in until around seven-thirty. As soon as the first couple of customers arrive, it is like the flood gates open. They've been pretty busy with their morning rush. Once it slows down, Emma comes out from behind the counter to the table I'm at and sits.

  "How's she doing," I ask her.

  She shrugs. "She's keeping herself busy so she doesn't have to acknowledge the hurt," she tells me. "It's exactly what I would do if I were in her shoes."

  "Is there anything I can do for her?"

  "No, unless you can magically bring Buster back," she deadpans. "Can I get you anything to eat? Or a refill on your coffee?"

  "Both, please," I reply. "Some kind of sandwich with bacon and ham."

  "You got it," she says before getting up and going back behind the counter. Around twelve-thirty, a guy walks into the bakery. He's tall and lanky, wearing an A Novel Bunch shirt, skinny jeans, and converse. Emma and Cali simultaneously glance up and see him. They screech with excitement and run over to him.

  "Bash! Oh my god, it’s so good to see you!" Cali says to him. I tense.

  "The time off was nice but sucked at the same time. I missed my girls," Bash responds to her. They wrap each other in a group hug. "You bitches have a lot of shit to catch me up on."

  At that, Cali's face sobers. She hasn't told him about Buster yet. The three of them walk over to me.

  "Well, hello, handsome," Bash draws out. Cali and Emma both giggle.

  "Bash, this is Shade. Wren's brother and Buster's best friend," Emma explains to him and he grins.

  "Nice to meet you, Shade." He winks at me.

  "Uh, yeah, you too," I respond. Cali elbows him in the side.


  "Leave him alone, Bash." She giggles again. "He doesn't bat for your team."

  "Damn. The best ones are either straight or taken," Bash says with a smile. His eyes move between Cali and Emma. "So? Shall we catch up?"

  "Yeah, let's go in the kitchen," Cali says, walking away. My phone buzzes on the table. The screen lights up with a new text message from Ranger. I unlock the screen.

  From Ranger: Church tonight. 6 p.m.

  When two-thirty rolls around, Cali and Emma both look exhausted. I guess that's what having two weeks off will do to you.

  "Can we stop and grab food on the way back," Emma asks as we're walking to the car. The two bodyguards who followed us here are waiting by my car when we get there.

  "Yeah, we can do . . . " My response is interrupted by gunshots. One of the guards grabs Emma and yanks her to the ground at the same time as I grab Cali. When the gunshots stop, I scan the area. Two red Honda CRX's are driving away. I barely catch a glimpse at the clown decals on their rear windshields.

  "Son of a bitch," I mumble as we stand. Yury comes running out of the bakery.

  "Calina, are you alright?" He checks over her body.

  "I'm fine, Yury," she responds. He turns to the guy who protected Emma, and the second bodyguard walks over to us.

  "Are you both okay," he asks them. They both nod their heads.

  "Oh my god! Shade, you're bleeding!" Cali grabs my wrist. I glance at my arm and sure enough, I was hit.

  "It's just a graze. I'll be fine," I tell her. "I'll get it cleaned back at the clubhouse."

  She glares at me but lets it go. With the okay from Yury, we load up in my car. We head straight for the clubhouse with the promise of ordering pizza when we get there. When we pull up to the front gate of the clubhouse, the guards post up on either side while we go through. Cali must have texted Wren and told her what happened. She's standing outside the front doors of the clubhouse, hands on her hips, lips pursed and eyes worried.