The Coming of Anna (The Manhattan Series)

by Rinder, Leilani

  I am brought back to the present when the hostess hands me an orange juice.

  “Thank you,” I smile up at her.

  I did not want to cause any unpleasantness by telling her that I did not want the juice. I am feeling thirsty but I do not feel like taking anything ordered for me by this man. Unfortunately, he knows me well enough to know that I would not cause a scene and just drink my orange juice like a good little girl.

  Anton lifts his glass: “Here is to us and a fun time in LA.”

  I just glare at him.

  “Anton, you know as well as I do that there is not going to be any fun time in LA. I am going to address a room full of people in the teaching profession and you will be one of them. The rest of the time I will be part of the crowd listening to the other speakers. This conference is very important to me. Please don’t ruin it for me.”

  “Relax, Girl. Don’t be so stressed out. Let down your hair a bit. But don’t worry, I won’t bother you any longer. I will let you get back to your notes.”

  I feel relieved when he gets up and moves back to his own seat at the back of the plane. When he leaves, my mind drifts back to that horrid time.

  Anton came by about twice a week. At school he would be with me almost every chance he had. I came to rely on his support.

  After the news that I might have contracted HIV from my husband, I filed for a divorce. How could I stay with a man who confessed now (after the fact) that he had been with so many women that he could not say who infected him? Even the prostitutes he had apparently been with, he could not count. Odds were that some of the women he had been with had been on drugs, so he could have got the HIV virus from any one of them. Why could Mark not have been like other men and had an affair with my best friend or a colleague? No, he had to scrape the bottom of the barrel and put both our lives in danger.

  As usual, I feel the anger towards my ex-husband build in me again. Since Thomas came into my life, I thought about Mark and his betrayal less and less. Even Anton became little more than a distant memory. Now, being cooped up on an aeroplane with him is bringing back all the memories and all the bad feelings that go along with them.

  Anton supported me through all the turmoil and sadness of the divorce and the regular HIV tests. He seemed to be a true friend – a friend whom I believed I was falling in love with.

  Anton wanted to go to court with me the day my divorce was finalised. I wanted to go alone. Everybody advised me against it.

  “If you feel you cannot take one of your children with you, then ask a friend. Just promise me you won’t go through it alone,” the headmaster insisted.

  I lied: “Okay, Sir, I will get a friend to go with me.”

  I knew I was not going to. Couldn’t anybody understand that I wanted to go through this alone? Couldn’t they just see that it was so much easier for me not to share this experience with anyone? Maybe I had to prove to myself that I was strong enough to rid myself of a marriage that literally put my life in danger. Maybe I had to prove to myself that I was worth standing up for, that I was worth fighting for a new life for myself. They all meant well but they had a difficult time believing that I was strong enough to go through the divorce on my own, not leaning on anyone.

  The evening after my divorce was finalised by the court, Anton knocked on my door with a bottle of champagne and some flowers in hand. I was happy to see him. I wasn’t hungry and I did not plan to cook anything that evening. I ended up cooking us a simple dinner of scrambled eggs and he opened the champagne.

  He put on some music and after dinner held out his hand for a dance. My head turning a bit from the champagne, I allowed him to pull me to my feet. He held me close and in that moment I felt a peace come over me. I finally knew I was free. Not only was I free from the shackles of a loveless marriage but I received the final results from the lab the day before, confirming my status as being HIV Negative.

  When Anton bent down his head to kiss me, I did not resist. His kiss was soft and comforting but he soon parted my lips with his tongue. Was this wrong? No! I am a single woman! How can it be wrong?

  I ignored the voice at the back of my mind telling me that I did not really love him. He was good to me. He was a good friend and nowhere did it say that I couldn’t learn to love someone who seems to always be there for me.

  I did not resist when he took off my blouse and unclipped my bra, all while still kissing me. I did not resist when he carried me to my bedroom and lay me down on the bed. I watched in silence as he first took off my pants and then my panties. I felt the cool night air over my naked body while I quietly watched him get rid of his clothes.

  He lay down next to me and started kissing me again. The champagne made my head spin and in a far corner of my mind, I was thinking that I did not really want to do this. However, I convinced myself that I had fallen in love with Anton and I suppose this is the logical next step. I was not married anymore and both of us were legally and morally allowed to do what we wanted to. The children have grown up and have moved into their own apartment about a month before, so it was just me in that big house. So why could I not allow myself to give in to the fire that must still have been burning inside me? All it needed was a little flame of passion to ignite it again, I told myself.

  I opened my legs and felt Anton penetrate me. He was whispering to me but none of what he said stuck in my mind long enough for me to take any notice. I made the right sounds so he would think I was completely into what we were doing. But I knew that I was just playing a part.

  Why could my body and my emotions not respond the way it should? I was sure I would be able to fall in love with Anton. I had become so dependent on him emotionally but physically there seemed to be a wall between us. Not that he seemed to be aware of the separation. He told me he loved me a hundred times and I could not begin to count how many times he told me I was the sexiest and most sensual woman he had ever seen.

  Was it Anton or was it Mark causing this cold spot not only in my heart but also between my legs? Was the deception I felt over everything Mark had done to me over the years having an impact on the way my body and my emotions reacted to Anton’s lovemaking? Was I destined to be a frigid woman who could not give herself fully to any man again? Did Mark break more than my heart? Did he in fact break me?

  **********

  Later, when I had cleaned up and Anton lay sleeping next to me, silent tears slipped into my pillow.

  I fell asleep, only to wake up half-an-hour later. Anton was getting dressed.

  “Where are you going? There is nobody else here. You are welcome to spend the night.”

  “Not tonight, my Lovely. I don’t have clean clothes or anything here. I will see you at school tomorrow.”

  With that he quickly kissed me on the forehead and left.

  A RUDE AWAKENING

  The next morning Anton did not come by before school. When I walked into the staffroom, he was already there, sitting in his usual spot across the room from me.

  Everybody in the staffroom knew that I went to court for my final divorce proceedings the previous day. A few pulled me aside to ask if I was okay and to say that I could call on them any time I needed someone to listen. Yeah, right! I have heard how they gossip about any bit of juicy news they could lay their hands on. None of them would have the pleasure of seeing my pain, or even my happiness. I put on my best smile and thanked each one who approached me with my sunniest demeanour.

  To my amazement, Anton quickly entered my classroom and locked the door behind him during that interval. He barely acknowledged me in the staffroom that morning. I had no idea how to react towards him after what had happened between us the previous night. We had made love. Does that not qualify as some kind of commitment or at least a public acknowledgement of some tie between us?

  “How are you today?” he asked.

  “Oh, I am fine. Keeping busy, as you can see.”

  “Come here, we don’t have much time.”

  He pulled me up fro
m behind my desk. He sat down on one of the student’s desks and pulled me closer to him. He started kissing me profusely, as if he was really hungry for me. I kissed him back but the feeling of unease and discomfort I felt the previous night, was with me again.

  When he started unbuttoning my shirt, I pushed him away.

  “What now? The door is locked and nobody saw me come in here,” he protested.

  “Anton, no, don’t do this! We are at school. I am not comfortable with this. We need to be an example to our students, not spend our intervals making out behind closed doors.”

  “Who said anything about making out? I am here to fuck that sweet pussy of yours into submission.”

  I could only stare at him in shock. Was this the same man who could be so kind to me? The one who had become my best friend and whom I had believed I was falling in love with?

  “Anton, it is not going to happen. I am not having sex with you in my classroom. I am not a teenager!”

  “Okay, okay. Can I see you tonight?”

  “Okay. Come by any time after school. I will make us something proper to eat for tonight. I promise something better than scrambled eggs.”

  I smiled, trying to diffuse the situation and relieve the tension that suddenly crept in between us.

  He gave me a quick kiss before leaving.

  **********

  When I got home late afternoon I had a quick shower. I put on a light dress and started on some beef stroganoff in the kitchen. Anton promised to bring a bottle of red wine.

  We spent a relaxing evening together. We talked about this and that and drank the wine he brought. After dinner we sat on the couch. Anton started kissing me.

  He pushed me back on the couch and his hands reached inside my shirt. I allowed him to take it off. Dressed only in my panties, he started sucking my nipples, giving each one a turn. He put my hand in his crotch and I started rubbing him. I could feel him get harder and his crotch started to feel a bit moist. He removed his pants and underpants. He sat next to me on the couch and I lifted my hips as he removed my panties. He sighed when he looked at my pussy.

  “You are so beautiful and you are all mine. Do you know how honoured you are?”

  I laughed at his joke: “What do you mean I am honoured? You are the one who should feel honoured. Apart from my ex-husband, you are the only man I have ever allowed to be with me like this.”

  “I know,” he said, “and the thought of it makes me really horny. To know that you have not been invaded by dozens of men and that now I can have you all to myself, is the best aphrodisiac ever.”

  He put his hand between my legs and started rubbing my moist pussy.

  “This pussy is now just mine and nobody else will ever have you.”

  His words stirred up an uneasy feeling within me which I could not describe in words. Maybe it was just because I had been married to one man for so long that I was not comfortable with the feeling of belonging to anyone else. I pushed the feeling aside as he started pushing two fingers inside me.

  I closed my eyes and gave myself over to the moment. My body and mind both needed this escape. But escape for me was not to come.

  I felt him bend over to kiss me, while still stroking the inside of my pussy with his fingers. I was getting wetter and could not really feel my body react to the stimulation. What was going on with me?

  Anton pushed my legs further apart and I could feel him insert himself into me. He lifted my one leg over his shoulder and thrust himself harder and harder into me. In a far-away place in my mind I was wondering if I was going to cum. Somehow I started to doubt it. Even though my pussy was reacting to Anton’s touch by becoming wet, something just did not feel quite right. Try as I may, I just could not get into the moment and give myself completely. I closed my eyes and tried to see myself somewhere else.

  I could hear Anton’s groaning become louder and more urgent and knew he was going to cum.

  It did not leave me breathless; in fact, it left me not feeling anything. It was as though someone else was using my body; like I was standing on the opposite side of the room, watching what was happening between two people I barely knew.

  When Anton got dressed and was ready to go, I felt a sense of relief. Somehow a feeling of unease had crept in and I was almost scared he would want to spend the night after I had invited him to stay the night before. No matter how empty the house seemed with only me there, I really did not want him spending the night. Why?

  The next morning at school, Anton met me at the gate again.

  “Finally it is Friday. I cannot make it tonight but I will see you tomorrow afternoon around four. Maybe we can go for a picnic. I know a park with a few completely private corners. I am sure the fresh air will do both of us some good.”

  I did not ask what he would be doing the Friday evening. Having an evening to myself so I could sort out my feelings regarding my new state as divorced woman, might be just what I need, I thought.

  **********

  On Saturday morning I went shopping for a few new pieces of clothing. I realized standing in front of my wardrobe the previous evening that I did not have anything new. I did not even think about any additions to my wardrobe after Mark left. But now it was time to reinvent myself. I was not Anna, wife of Mark anymore. I was Anna, single, not too bad-looking judging from what the mirror told me and I had a right to a life of my own. The thought was freeing and made me feel happy, a little bit lighter than I had felt in the past few years. I did not have a ring on my finger, I did not have to answer to anyone and the news that I had not contracted HIV from my philandering ex-husband, made me feel more alive than I had felt in years.

  While browsing through one of the more upmarket dress shops, I ran into Nadeyn, one of the teachers I had been teaching with for four years but barely knew. She invited me to go for coffee at a nearby coffee shop and I could hardly decline. But she was nice and I thought it might not be a bad idea to make some new friends. One thing about divorce, it wrecks most of your friendships; not that I had too many of those to begin with.

  We sat down and the sound of coffee machines and people talking made me feel happy. Nadeyn was chatting about her tennis group and her class and the upcoming governing body elections at school.

  Then the conversation took a sudden turn. I still have no idea how we got on the subject and I really did not know what she was talking about.

  “I see you are Knock-Knock’s latest victim.”

  “Knock-Knock?” I asked, baffled.

  “Anton! We all see how he meets you at the gate and how he sometimes slips into your classroom during interval or just after school. But you must be careful. His wife is not one to play with. She is a lawyer and if she gets wind of her husband being interested in you, she will sue your ass.”

  I felt the blood drain from my face. Anton? Married? Suddenly a lot of things started making sense. How could I have been so blind? Is it really a case of nobody being as blind as one who does not want to see?

  “Why do you call him Knock-Knock?” I asked the only question I could think of. I did not want Nadeyn to see how shaken I was. I wanted some time to gather my thoughts.

  “He has had that name for a while now. There had never been a female teacher on whose door he hadn’t knocked at some point in time. While you were married and your husband was home, you were safe. Nicky got a surprise a while back when she mentioned in the staffroom that her husband was away on business. That same evening he knocked on her front door. He did not want to take no for an answer until she threatened to not only tell her husband but also report him to the Department of Education’s Ethics Committee.”

  “Oh, he is a pig. I honestly don’t know why his wife still puts up with his nonsense,” she continued. “She is so beautiful and a very successful lawyer. People in the know reckon she might have a bright future as a politician one day. What she sees in a loser like him, is beyond me. But he believes he is nature’s gift to the female race. All I ask of you is that you not a
llow him to pull the wool over your eyes. I know that after your divorce, you must be vulnerable. But you deserve better than someone else’s leftovers.”

  I went straight home. I could hardly get rid of Nadeyn fast enough. I managed to keep my mask on long enough to finish my coffee and make my excuses without raising any suspicion about how her words had torn me apart. I put my car in the garage and locked the door behind me. I did not open the curtains. I just sat on the couch, thinking. Married? Could Anton really be married? But how could it be? I had never seen him with a woman. But then again, he rarely ever attended any school functions. And I stayed out of the staffroom as much as possible. That is how I must have missed all the gossip about him and his womanising. Was I destined to always choose a man whom I would not be enough for? Would any man I fall in love with always go in search of other women to complete him? One thing I knew for sure, I was never going to be the other woman in anyone’s marriage.

  When I heard his car pull up the driveway, I did not move. I was still in shock and did not know what to say to him. I was hurt and angry. To think there was a time I almost allowed myself to fall in love with him!

  He knocked on the door a few times. Then he called my name. I jumped when my mobile phone rang right next to me. He knows I am here! He must have heard it ring from outside!

  It felt like I was frozen in time. I could hear him call out to me again when my cell phone stopped ringing. I felt panicked and I did not know what to do. Tears were streaming across my face and I did not know whether it was anger, fear, panic, disappointment or some other emotion that caused the tears.

  “Anna, open the door. What is wrong with you? I know you are there.”

  My legs trembled as I walked to the door and unlocked it. I could see the shock in his face when he saw me standing there. I must have looked a mess with my tear-soaked face.

  “Anna! Sweetheart! What is the matter?”

  He tried taking me in his arms but I evaded him.