by Lisa Cassidy
“I’m right,” he insisted. “If you had a thriving trade relationship with Shivasa, one their economy depended on, it would be substantially more difficult for them to invade you. As it is, they seem to have simply decided to take what they want.”
He was right. Alyx had learned enough to understand his argument and see that it made perfect sense, but she certainly wasn’t going to admit that to him.
“Tarrick, I’m not sure that it’s Finn, Alyx and my fault that Rionn has such a ‘poor’ education system,” Dawn said.
Finn changed the subject. “Did you know that the Shiven actually elect their leader?”
“Really?” Alyx looked up from her notes, interested.
“Yes. The leadership of Shivasa isn’t hereditary,” Finn said. “Their voting system isn’t perfect; often the choices are few, and it seems to me the process can be corrupted, but it is an interesting way to do things.”
“How do you know this stuff?” Tarrick asked.
“I read,” Finn said smugly. “Learn about that in your fancy Zandian education did you?”
Tarrick settled for responding with a scowl.
“And if your Zandian teaching is so comprehensive, why does Cario get better marks than you in all our languages work?” Dawn asked.
Tarrick’s scowl deepened. “Cario gets better marks than everyone in the class. Besides, just because they teach it in Zandia, it doesn’t mean I paid attention in my classes.”
Alyx bit back a smile and returned to her notes.
“Do you think it would be inappropriate for me to invite Dashan to the festival dance?” Dawn asked aloud.
There was a brief silence at this abrupt change in subject, then;
“Like as your partner?” Finn spluttered.
“The festival is still months away,” Tarrick spoke simultaneously.
“Yes, as my partner, and Tarrick, there’s no harm in planning ahead,” Dawn said. “We missed the dance last year because of the attack on DarkSkull. The festival is one of the very few fun things that ever happens here, and I’m looking forward to it.”
“Perhaps we could discuss your love life at another time?” Finn said plaintively.
Dawn ignored her brother. “Alyx, what do you think?”
“Dashan isn’t exactly the courting type, Dawn.” Alyx stifled a yawn. “But if you want to ask him, go ahead.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Why would I mind?” Alyx looked up again from Finn’s notes, mystified.
“You’re old friends, aren’t you?”
“Sure.” Alyx shrugged. “But if you’re asking whether it bothers me, it doesn’t. I will warn you to be careful, though. Dash isn’t the marrying and settling down type. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“You think he would hurt me?”
“Not intentionally, no.” Alyx meant her words. “But Dash is who he is, and that won’t change.”
“Can we get back to the subject at hand now?” Finn said.
“Which was what, again?” Tarrick asked. “Rionn being a bubble or Shivasa electing its leader?”
“Anything but who my sister wants to take to the festival dance does me fine,” Finn grumbled.
“How about some silence so I can read Finn’s notes without being distracted?” Alyx suggested.
Silence fell for a short while, interspersed with the crackling of the flames. Alyx glanced out the window into the dark night every now and then, giving her eyes a break from the small, spidery writing she was reading. There wasn’t much to see beyond the rivulets of rain running down the window. Winter had begun in Tregaya and it had been snowing earlier in the day, with more expected the next morning.
It grew late, but while she was tired, Alyx preferred to keep studying. It was something that kept her occupied and held off sleep. She’d not had another nightmare since the last, but it was only a matter of time. Howell hadn’t gotten back to her with any advice and she was torn about what she wanted his response to be. If they were just nightmares, then there was no solution. She’d have to suffer through until they eventually went away, if they ever did. On the other hand, if someone was doing this to her... she wasn’t sure she wanted confirmation of that. It was a truly terrifying idea.
She was startled from her thoughts as Finn closed his book with a thump, then dragged over a bag he had brought with him. Opening it, he pulled out several thick, dusty books he’d clearly pilfered from the library.
“I’ve had enough study for one day,” he said in response to their questioning looks. “And I thought we’d intended to learn more about Shakar, so I brought some books that might help.”
Their response was forestalled by the tower door creaking open and Cario making an appearance. A cold draft seeped into the room, and Alyx shivered.
“Is there a problem?” Tarrick asked immediately.
He closed the door, rubbing his hands together. “No. I thought I’d come up where it’s warm for a little while.”
“Someone should be on the front door.”
“Alyx is sitting at the window overlooking the front door. She’ll notice anyone coming, I’m sure,” Cario pointed out as he crossed to the fireplace, his gaze falling on Finn’s pile of books. “How did you get those out from under Howell’s nose?”
“With great stealth,” Finn said.
“How is studying those books any different from doing homework, Finn?” Alyx asked pointedly.
“We do need to get to the bottom of your nightmares.” Tarrick’s firm tone decided the matter. “Good idea, Finn. Come on, let’s get reading.”
“I got one for each of us.” Finn passed them out.
When he reached Cario, the young man simply raised his eyebrows. “How exactly is us reading those going to help with Alyx’s nightmares?”
“We’re hoping they’ll help us learn more about Shakar.”
“I don’t see the connection,” Cario said in genuine mystification.
“We think Shakar might have had the ability to enter people’s minds and give them nightmares,” Dawn explained.
Cario shook his head. “Even if he did, learning about it isn’t going to explain where Alyx’s nightmares are coming from. Count me out.”
“And that’s another item on the list of things Cario doesn’t care about,” Alyx muttered. “My nightmares.”
“You catch on quick, Egalion. I like that about you.”
She scowled at him, but he was already turning away. Finn shrugged and returned to his spot by the window. Alyx pushed aside her annoyance at Cario, opened the book Finn had given her, and did her best to pay attention to the words on the page.
Cario dragged the room’s only chair over to the fire, then settled himself comfortably in it, feet stretched toward the warmth. When Alyx glanced over a little while later, his eyes were closed.
They read deep into the night, the sound of the fire crackling in the grate and the rain tapping at the windows the only sounds filling the room. Alyx learned all about the various towns Shakar had destroyed in his effort to take over the rule of the council. There had been many.
“This Shakar seems to have been a pretty nasty character,” Finn commented, breaking the silence.
“You don’t say,” Tarrick muttered.
“Seriously, do none of you grasp the concept that guard duty means two days of no work?” Cario drawled sleepily. “Put the books away and do something more interesting.”
“He’s right, it’s late and I’ve learned nothing useful,” Dawn said. “We should get some rest. How about we hit the books again in the morning?”
“Sounds good.” Tarrick yawned and stretched. “I’ll take the first watch, walk around a bit to keep myself awake. Finn, I’ll wake you in two hours.”
“I’ll just stay right here,” Cario waved his hand languidly. “I’m not really suited to night shifts.”
Chapter 16
When Alyx woke the next morning after an early dawn watch, it was to find the world outside car
peted in white. Finn was looking dubiously out the window as she entered the tiny kitchen on the ground floor to find something to eat.
“One of us is going to have to go out on patrol,” he said glumly.
“I’ll go,” she offered.
“Really?” Tarrick perked up. “I was going to suggest Cario go, since he refused to do a watch shift last night, but I get the feeling nobody makes Cario do anything he doesn’t want to do.”
“I don’t mind. It will be good to get out of these walls for a while, and I’m supposed to meet up with Dashan for a training session later anyway.”
“Alyx, we love you dearly.” Dawn smiled.
“I’ll even bring you a cup of tea.” Tarrick poured it from a bubbling pot and delivered it to her at the table.
Alyx chuckled and drank the hot liquid, relishing it as it warmed her insides and woke up her sluggish brain. Once she’d eaten—toast made especially for her by Finn—she went to collect her warm cloak and staff.
Tingo was as eager as she was to escape the confines of the tower’s tiny stables, and he danced about energetically in the snow while she saddled him.
“We’ll expect you back after midday,” Dawn called from the doorway. “If you’re not back, we’ll come after you.”
“I’ll be fine,” Alyx promised as she swung herself into the saddle.
Tingo half-reared in exception to being held in, so she loosened the reins and he was off like a shot. Her staff tapped against her back as he stretched into a gallop, and she took him up towards the top of the valley wall, then along the DarkSkull border wall down to the southwestern tower.
Everything looked fine; the snow was unbroken the entire way, and the woods around the southwestern tower were quiet. Jayn was amongst the group of apprentices on guard there, and emerged from the front door as Alyx rode up.
“Hi, Alyx.” Jayn gave her a friendly wave. “I was about to ride up to the north-eastern tower to check on Tari and the others. Everything quiet down your way?”
“It’s all fine.”
“That’s a good thing. You don’t want something to go wrong on your very first shift.”
“Absolutely not.” Alyx smiled. “I’d best get going. Have a good day.”
“You too.”
Tingo had made good time, and after farewelling Jayn, Alyx turned him down into the valley. They cantered past the frozen-over summer pools and continued further down the narrow path to the open field. It, too, was a carpet of white, and her breath steamed as she reined in and looked around.
A single figure caught her eye, and she urged Tingo into a canter towards him. Snow sprayed from the stallion’s iron-shod hooves, liberally covering Dashan in the stuff as Alyx rode up at a gallop before reining in at the last moment.
“Thanks very much, Egalion,” he said, shaking snow from his hair.
“I’d say sorry, but we both know I wouldn’t mean it,” she said lightly.
He scowled. “I’m surprised you came, considering the weather.”
“We’re on guard duty up at the south-eastern tower, and I needed to get out for a while.” She shrugged. “Plus, I feel like I’ve actually made some progress recently.” Not enough to get past her fear of Fengel during sparring class, but progress nonetheless.
“The snow will be good practice for you, too. Come on, get down here, mage-girl.”
Alyx jumped down from the saddle and took off her cloak, leaving it across Tingo’s back as he bent his head to snuffle for grass. She unhooked her staff, then swept it around her in wide circles, warming up her muscles.
Dashan followed suit. “Let’s see if you can actually land a hit on me today.”
Alyx had learned enough by now that she could hold her own in a light warm-up session. When she swallowed her instinctive defensiveness around him, Dashan was actually a good teacher, in much the same way Finn was. And like her lessons with Finn, Alyx found that if she paid attention and tried hard, she was a quick learner.
Fighting in the snow was challenging. The stuff was ankle-deep and constricting when she tried to make quick moves to attack or defend. At one point as they were warming up, Dashan slipped and fell on his behind. Alyx burst into laughter, shaking so much that she was too distracted to avoid his hand as it lashed out to grab her wrist and drag her down after him. Snow soaked through her breeches, making her shiver.
“You look so young when you laugh.” He shook his head, pulling her to her feet.
“Implying I look old most of the time?” She raised an eyebrow.
“You look tired most of the time,” he corrected. “Not just physically, but like you’re weary to the soul. It makes you look older than you are.”
“I could say the same thing about you.” She lunged at him with her staff, managing not to slip on the snow.
Dashan blocked her attack, the sound of cracking wood echoing across the field. When he launched a counter, she stepped agilely aside, bringing her staff up to slide along his in a deflection. In the moment before the two staffs disengaged, she gathered herself and gave a quick flick of her wrist, employing strength from her core as she pushed out. Dashan’s staff flew outwards, leaving him wide open to her attack. Her staff came within a whisker of his stomach before his lightning reflexes brought his staff swinging back in to knock hers away.
“Nice, mage-girl!” He stopped, genuinely pleased. “You almost had me.”
“Almost,” she grumbled. Damn! She needed to be quicker.
“Again,” he instructed, moving to attack almost before the word had left his mouth.
For the next half hour there were few words as they concentrated on keeping their breath for sparring. At one point, Alyx went for a period of several minutes without Dashan landing a hit on her, surprising both of them. And as she grew more comfortable with the fundamentals of grip and footwork he demanded, his instructions began to make more sense. Her increasing skill only made him more merciless, though, and he began exerting himself more, coming closer to using his full strength and speed. Several times he got through her guard and delivered a resounding blow to her ribs, shoulders or stomach.
“Watch it,” she warned after one particularly painful tap to the ribs. “I might lose my temper and set your clothing alight or something.”
“Pleasant,” he remarked between blows. “I take the time to teach you, and you threaten to set me on fire.”
“Ha! Face it, Dash, the only reason you’re doing this is so you can regularly take the opportunity to hit me with that thing.”
“Well, when you put it like that.” He grinned. “Seriously, though, how is your training going?”
She stopped, stepping back and taking the opportunity to catch her breath. Her stamina was improving steadily too, but it irritated her immensely that while she was red-faced and panting, Dashan had barely broken a sweat. “You really want to know?”
“Stop looking at me as if I’ve sprouted another head,” he said, breath steaming in the cold air. “I wouldn’t have asked otherwise.”
“I still haven’t been able to use a shred of magic since I got here.”
“Except when you lost your temper at me,” he pointed out.
“Yes, except then. I’m starting to think Howell was wrong about me, that I don’t really have much power at all.”
Dashan appeared to consider that for a moment, leaning comfortably on his staff. “You know what the problem is, don’t you?”
“Enlighten me,” she said dryly.
“Well, correct me if I’m wrong, but hurling a wooden staff across a field and shooting concussion bursts from your hands are not indications of somebody with only a little bit of power.”
“Not generally, no,” she acknowledged. “But I’m not really an expert on mage lore.”
“Your problem seems to be that you’re unable to consciously wield your magic. Because when you’re angry, or afraid, or your loved ones are in danger, your power comes instinctively, correct?”
“I hadn’t really tho
ught of it like that, but yes.”
“There you go then.”
“There I go what?”
Dashan smiled, brown eyes twinkling at her, but then his face turned serious. “You’re blocking yourself. When you actively try to use your magic, you’re subconsciously preventing yourself from accessing it. You’re only able to use it when you’re not thinking about it.”
“Why would I be blocking myself?” She frowned.
“That’s something you’ll have to answer, but if I had to guess, I’d say it had something to do with you killing that man at DarkSkull last year during the attack on the watchtower. I’m sure killing more Shiven in Alistriem didn’t help either. You don’t want to kill anybody else, so you’re afraid of your magic.”
His words sliced through the thin scab that had formed over the emotions she’d mostly buried since that night, sending them spilling everywhere. She stared at him, trying desperately not to show anything on her face. “How do you know about the watchtower?” she managed.
“I heard Dawn say something to Finn, back in Alistriem.” Dashan shrugged. “I asked her about it. She didn’t want to tell me, so don’t blame her. I was insistent.”
She shook her head, grasping for composure and not quite finding it. “Does Cayr…”
“No, Cayr wasn’t around.”
Alyx looked at her feet. “I killed him in cold blood, Dashan. I looked at him, and I wanted him dead, and then my magic killed him.”
“The way Dawn tells it, the warrior was about to kill Finn. If you hadn’t killed him Finn might be dead now, and you might too.” He paused. “You lost a friend that night, too, she said?”
“Brynn.” Alyx swallowed back tears, still unable to look at Dashan.
“That only makes the effect that night had on you worse. But Alyx, I think it’s time you forgive yourself for what happened. It was an awful situation, but you did what you had to do and came out the other side.”
“I came out the other side broken,” she whispered.
“Not broken,” he said gently. “Just older. And less innocent. Brynn’s loss wasn’t your fault, and that Shiven wouldn’t have died if he hadn’t tried to hurt people you love.”