by Lisa Cassidy
Tarrick threw a concerned glance in Alyx’s direction. “We should get Alyx away from here as soon as possible. There could be another Hunter attack coming at any moment. The first wave failed, it only makes sense Shakar would send another.”
Anger surged, and she used it to give her strength. “I’m not going anywhere, especially not with you.”
Shock flared on Tarrick’s face, but Dawn shot him a quelling look before he could say anything, then turned to Alyx. “I know how you must feel, but that is a big decision to make.”
“You have no idea how I feel,” she said, some of her pain leaking into her voice despite her best attempts otherwise. “No idea at all.”
“We had no choice.” Finn’s voice was cold. “You forced us into what we did.”
“You damn well did have a choice!” She rounded on him, her eyes and voice blazing with fury. “You betrayed me, and what’s worse is that you think you were justified in doing it.”
“Were we supposed to let you die?” Tarrick demanded, his temper sparking as hotly as hers.
“You should have had more faith in me!”
“If we had let you go, you would have died too. There were too many Hunters. Without your magic—”
“I could have saved him!” The words tore out, full of the grief sweeping through her. It was like a scab ripping off a wound, all the betrayal and heartache leaking out. “Damn you, Tarrick, I could have saved him.”
They stared at each other, both unwilling to back down. Alyx’s hands were trembling and with an effort she tried to rein in her emotions. It didn’t work.
Rothai spoke calmly into the ensuing silence. “You are not invulnerable, Magor-lier, and your magic was useless against their medallions.”
“And if I hadn’t been so afraid of your reaction to Dash and I becoming lovers then I would have been invulnerable!” she yelled.
Rothai’s expression was unyielding. “Then you would have become as much a threat to us as Shakar.”
“You really think that?” Ladan broke in, voice angry.
“How can you know for certain that she wouldn’t?” Finn demanded, clearly forgetting in his anger that he was addressing a lord. “Alyx, you would have the power to do whatever you wanted. Nothing could stop you. That sort of power corrupts even good people.”
“I am so sick of that argument,” Alyx said coldly, realisation and clarity coming far, far too late. “Dashan grounded me, kept me from giving in to my worst impulses. I was wrong to hold myself back from him, and I was wrong to ever fear being invulnerable. And you? You were wrong to have so little faith in who I am. You betrayed me and you doubted me, and I won’t ever forget that.”
Her words reverberated through the room. As their echoes faded, the familiar exhaustion began creeping through her. She wasn’t ready for this.
Tarrick looked equally tired and beaten. He shook his head. “You say we betrayed you, but you betrayed us just as badly. It’s clear now that you’ve been lying to us. You carried on a relationship with a Taliath, knowing full well what that could mean. Worse, you kept it secret.”
“You took my free will away from me,” Alyx said quietly. “And you kept me from doing something to save a man that I loved very much. You destroyed me.”
Finn turned suddenly, anger vibrating from him. “Cario, do you plan to weigh in on this at all?” he demanded. “You are her favourite, yes? The one she trusts more than any of us.”
Cario gave a little smile before reaching down to casually straighten the cuffs on his shirt. “I’ve already discussed my thoughts privately with Alyx.”
“You’re not surprised,” Dawn said suddenly. “None of this is news to you.”
“Alyx and I have an understanding,” Cario said, his eyes narrowing. “And I’ll thank you to stay out of my thoughts, Dawn. I know that you mean well, but my mind is private.”
“You knew about Dashan,” Tarrick said flatly, and it wasn’t a question.
Cario smiled faintly but said nothing.
“Alyx—” Once again Dawn tried to talk to her, but Alyx raised a hand, the silver-green glow of her magic lighting the room.
“Thank you for your information, but I can’t do this right now,” she said. “Please, just let me be.”
“Fine.” Tarrick turned on his heel and stalked out of the room. With a final helpless look around, Finn followed him. Rothai’s features were unreadable as he left.
“I would not have held you back.” Dawn stepped forward, her tone fierce. “You can read my thoughts, use every ounce of power you have, but that is the truth.”
“Dawn…” she sighed. “I’m sorry you’re caught in the middle of this.”
“I’m sorry too,” she said, pausing a moment before turning and striding out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Cario stayed in the chair, blue eyes contemplative as he stared into the flames.
Ladan’s hand settled on her shoulder. “I’ll take you back to your room.”
“No.” She shook him off. She couldn’t bear the thought of being alone in her room. “I’m going to take a walk.”
Outside the winter air had grown far too cold for comfort, so instead she sought the palace kitchens. At the sight of Astor sitting by the great fire, something in her relaxed. Part of her had been hoping to find him down here, one of his favourite places to think. She hadn’t seen him much during her convalescence and suspected he’d been trying to give her space.
He huffed in mock irritation when she settled on the bench beside him. “A man likes to have time alone with his thoughts.”
She smiled a little. “I’m here to do the same.”
He eyed her up and down. “You look better than the last time I saw you.”
“I am better.”
“But not ready to face your friends yet.”
She didn’t like his knowing tone, but didn’t call him on it. She’d come for comfort, not another confrontation with someone she loved.
“So you and Dashan never decided to become lovers?” Curiosity crept into his voice.
The question was unexpected, startling Alyx from her drifting thoughts. “Were you eavesdropping at the door or something?”
Astor gave a slight shrug. “I’m the lord-mage. A little eavesdropping never did Rionn any harm.”
She huffed out a laugh, sobering when he glanced at her, clearly waiting on a response to his question. “No, we didn’t.”
“Did you mean what you said—about regretting holding back from him?”
The fire crackled between them for a few moments, and then Alyx spoke. “Yes. I’m not even convinced becoming lovers would have made me invulnerable—it doesn’t make sense that can be the only way. Our whole lives, Dashan and I were…physically close, more times than I can count. If I didn’t absorb his invulnerability from that, I doubt it was going to happen from us becoming lovers.”
“I suspect you might be wrong there.”
“Why?” she asked sharply. There’d been something like certainty in his voice.
He shifted a little, gaze dropping away, clearly growing uncomfortable with the subject matter. “When you’re with someone that you love and trust completely, the experience of becoming lovers…well, all the walls come down. You’re not thinking about yourself separately from the other person, you’re sharing the experience together. In that context, where there are no more barriers or walls, that’s when your magic would have absorbed his invulnerability. Unless you consciously held back, which is almost impossible, there would have been no way to stop it.”
Her head jerked up to stare at him, stunned. “You sound like you know what you’re talking about.”
“I am a mage, and I had a life before you knew me.” He finally looked up, and there was old pain etched on his face, an almost exact echo of what flashed over her father’s face when he talked about her mother. “I’ve loved. I lost the woman I loved more than anything.”
“I’m sorry.” She didn’t know what else to say.
“It happened a long time ago.” He shrugged, the sadness vanishing from his face in a blink of an eye, as if it had never been there.
Silence fell. Was she still going to miss Dashan so badly when she was Astor’s age? No, she didn’t want to hold on to that sort of pain, didn’t want it to be there, alive inside her, for the rest of her life.
Astor shifted, moving so that he could more easily meet her gaze. “Aly-girl, there’s something else we need to discuss.”
She frowned. His expression had turned overly serious, and worry flared in her chest, only adding to the weight of exhaustion on her shoulders. Suddenly, she didn’t want to hear whatever it was he was going to say. “Is there any chance we could talk about it tomorrow? I can barely keep my eyes open.”
“No.”
She hesitated, but there was enough grimness in her godfather’s voice to momentarily bring clarity to her thoughts. “What’s wrong?”
“The king spoke to me in detail—and in confidence, never fear—about what happened to you in Sandira,” Astor said. “What he had to say concerned me greatly, though I haven’t broached my concerns with anyone else.”
Worry took a firm hold. “What are you talking about?”
“Cayr told me that Galien was in Sandira, that the council had sent him there. Why they sent him there.”
She looked away. The why was branded on her soul, a constant torment of grief and pain. A shudder went through her. What she remembered most clearly from that encounter was Galien’s enjoyment of her utter devastation.
“He came to kill Dashan.” The words came out woodenly, and her weariness was the only thing keeping her from reacting more deeply to that memory.
“He came to kill you because the council was told about you and Dashan.” Astor’s gaze was fixed intently on hers. “How did they know?”
“That we were in Sandira?” She frowned. “I told you to invite them there to join us.”
“Not that,” he urged. “How did they know about you and Dashan? You were hiding it from everyone, you were even lying to your closest friends about it. So how did the council find out?”
Alyx opened her mouth, then hesitated—she had no answer for him. “I don’t know.”
Astor sighed, sitting back. “That’s what I was afraid of. There was no way they could have known. Not unless…”
“Unless what?” she snapped.
“I think you have a spy. Someone close to you. Someone who is feeding information to the council.”
She was shaking her head before he’d even finished speaking. “No, that can’t be it.”
“You hid your relationship from everyone because of the risk. Even I didn’t know about it. Someone close to you knew, or they figured it out, and they told the council.”
“The only people who knew…” No, it’s unthinkable. “You’re suggesting that one of my closest and most trusted friends betrayed me to the council?”
“Who knew?” he asked.
“I don’t—”
“Who knew, Alyx?” Stubbornness filled his voice.
She rubbed a hand over her face, giving in. “Cario, Cayr, and Brynn. My father and Ladan.”
“Then it’s one of them.”
She shook her head. “Tarrick and the twins knew I’d had a relationship with Dash, even though I lied about it ending. And I often thought those closest to me could have known. Sometimes it was just obvious the way Dash and I felt about each other.” She glanced at him, and he caught the meaning of it.
“You think I could be a spy?” Astor looked horrified.
“You’re accusing my closest friends of being one,” she snapped. “Why not you?”
The words, spoken in the heat of the moment, hung heavily between them. Alyx regretted them as soon as she’d spoken, but it was too late. She’d hurt him.
“Someone told the council about you and Dashan, and only those you trust most could have known the details Galien did about your relationship,” Astor said wearily. “And it’s not just that. Have you ever wondered how the Hunters seem to always find you so quickly no matter how well you hide yourself? Someone is feeding Shakar and the council information on you, and it’s someone you trust. You need to be careful.”
He left her in a huff before she could say another word and she promised herself she’d make it up to him later. The fire seemed lonely once he was gone, though, so after a short time she went up to bed.
Sleep was elusive, her mind replaying everything that had happened throughout the day. Each time she circled back to the Hunters. Shakar would know, if he didn’t already, that she was in Alistriem. The Hunters would come, and those around her would be in danger once again. She would have to run and hide. Again. The thought was sickening. And Astor believed one of her closest friends was a spy. There was no way it could be true, and yet if it was, the Hunters would be coming already.
There had to be a solution.
And there was. As she lay in bed so exhausted she was almost delirious with it, the answer came to her. Utterly insane, but so beautifully simple.
And with that realisation came sleep.
Chapter 14
“You owe me a favour, and I’m here to call it in.” Alyx squared her shoulders, forcing a confidence she didn’t feel into her voice.
Jenna’s eyes narrowed. “What do you want?”
Quickly and succinctly, Alyx explained the idea that had come to her in the early hours of the morning. She hadn’t breathed a word of it to anyone else. Astor had been wrong, he had to be wrong. But if not…well, Jenna was one of the few people she could trust, purely because she wasn’t amongst Alyx’s close circle of friends.
Once she’d finished, Jenna considered for a long moment before replying. “There are so many things wrong with that idea, I don’t even know where to begin. And what exactly do you want me to do?”
“Come with me. I need a Taliath.”
“Then take your brother.”
“He’s busy. And you’re the one who owes me a favour.” Alyx paused. “If we succeed, Cayr will be safer.”
Jenna flashed her a cool smile. “He’s not the weak point you seem to think he is for me, Egalion. I’m not the same girl you knew.”
“Neither am I,” Alyx said flatly. “And you’re a Taliath. Which means you’ve already worked out how my plan could deliver us a significant tactical victory.”
“If we succeed. That seems unlikely.”
Alyx cocked her head, gesturing to the training sword hanging from Jenna’s left hand. “You say you’re not doing this for Cayr. What exactly is it that you do want? Because you haven’t spent the last year learning how to fight for no reason.”
Her mouth tightened. “Who else knows about this insane idea of yours?”
“Nobody.” A little smile crossed Alyx’s face. “We leave tonight, late, once everyone is abed.”
“And after this is done, I no longer owe you a thing?” Jenna’s eyebrow lifted.
“Agreed.”
“Then I’ll see you in the stables at midnight, Lady Egalion.”
Sneaking out of the palace with two horses and bulging saddlebags just after midnight proved relatively easy with the aid of telepathic magic. She’d left behind a note for Cayr to reassure him she and Jenna hadn’t been kidnapped, but not telling him where they’d gone. Jenna, surprisingly, hadn’t seemed bothered by the thought of disappearing without notice.
“Your father and brother are both in the city. The king will be safe enough while we’re gone,” was all she said.
In a week they were deep into the north of Rionn and closing in on the southern border of the disputed area. The number of Rionnans travelling on the same road had thinned to little but farmers who lived in the region and the occasional unit of marching Rionnan soldiers.
The surface of the road was well-maintained and lined by thick, snow-covered trees. As they travelled, the terrain grew wilder and the road began winding to avoid hills or large rocky outcroppings. Wildlife was scarce too
; the occasional bird flew squawking from the trees around them, and every now and then they spotted deer tracks crossing the road, but otherwise there was nothing.
Eventually they reached the point where they were close enough to the disputed area that there was no good reason for them to be on the road heading north. They began travelling at night to avoid being seen, then eventually had to leave the road to strike out east, skirting the sprawling Rionnan army encampment. The going was harder then, the horses forced to scramble over rough, forested terrain.
Alyx used her magic with increasing frequency, employing it to guide them around the Rionnan army and then angle north towards the Shiven encampment. Ten days out of Alistriem found them trudging up a steep, thickly forested incline on the far eastern outskirts of the battle lines.
“The Shiven took Port Rantarin three months ago,” Jenna said suddenly, the first time she’d spoken all day.
Alyx glanced back. “I heard.”
The message had come just before they’d arrived in Carhall. It was a critical blow. Shivasa could now use the port to ferry supplies and soldiers directly into the disputed area rather than having to march overland. She huffed out a bitter laugh—not that it was really the disputed area any longer. It belonged firmly to the Shiven now.
“Cayr is worried,” Jenna said quietly. “He hides it well, but…he’s worried.”
“I know that too,” Alyx said just as quietly.
Jenna fell silent again as Alyx guided them as close to the Shiven army as she dared, stopping in a thick copse of trees that would hopefully keep them hidden from prying eyes.
“I need to concentrate for a while,” Alyx murmured. “Will you keep watch?”
Nodding, Jenna took up a position in the shadows of a nearby tree, the fingers of her left hand resting on the hilt of her sword. Alyx settled cross-legged on the ground. She relaxed her shoulders and closed her eyes. Then, taking a deep breath, she sank into her magic.