Willfully Hers (The Dirty Business Series Book 2)

by Michelle Betham

  “Bullshit! You want me back in your life, but that invitation comes with conditions, right? And my wife…”

  “Your secretary.”

  I laugh, Jesus, she is really pissing me off now. “She’s beneath me, huh? Is that what you’re trying to say?”

  “Did you make her sign a pre-nup, Evan?”

  “Jesus…”

  “Did you?”

  “No, I didn’t make her sign shit, because I love her, and she doesn’t care about my fucking money…”

  It’s her turn to laugh, a cold, derisive laugh that cuts me to the bone. A familiar sound that brings back memories I’ve tried to forget. “She doesn’t care about your money… It’s all they care about, Evan.”

  “All they care about?”

  “The whores you sleep with.”

  “Fuck you.”

  “You’re really going to talk to me that way? Your own mother?”

  I start to walk away, but I stop as I reach the huge double front doors. I stop, and for a second I don’t turn around, I stay there, breathing in deep as waves of anger flood over me. I stay there, and I let all this crap I’ve let back into my life consume me, because I can’t stop it. I can’t.

  “She had no idea about you or this family or just how much you’re really worth. She didn’t know.” I turn around to face her, and her expression is stone cold. It’s like fucking ice, and I can’t do this, I can’t stay here any longer. “And she doesn’t care. She doesn’t give a fuck about my money or my lifestyle or who the hell I am, she doesn’t fucking care. It isn’t her, this life, I can see that, and sometimes I see how much she struggles to be the kind of person she thinks I want her to be. When the only person I want her to be is herself. The woman I fell in love with.”

  “You don’t know what love feels like, Evan.”

  “No. I didn’t. How could I? You and Dad never loved each other, not really. You loved what you could do for each other…”

  “And look at what we gained. Look at what we achieved. And you and Dana, look what you two achieved when you took marriage off the table, when you pushed unnecessary emotion away and concentrated on what really matters. And I know it was your father and I – and Dana’s parents – who pushed you together because we thought that was the right thing to do, but we were wrong, on that score. You two worked much better as business partners, marriage was only killing what you both really needed to concentrate on. Do you think you’d have your name anywhere near that wall, if you’d tried to make your marriage work? Do you think you’d have a successful second office here in L.A. if you’d really loved each other?

  “Why do you say that word with such venom, huh? Why do you hate that word so much?”

  “Because it ruins people, Evan. It takes over and distracts and it kills dreams dead.”

  “You really believe that?”

  “You used to believe it, too.”

  “Yeah. I did. But not anymore.”

  “She’s a phase, Evan. And I have no idea why you married her, but it was a mistake. However, it’s also one that can be rectified. Harrison Jacobs is a brilliant attorney, and he tells me he can get you out of that marriage without it costing you a penny…”

  “You don’t listen, do you? You really don’t give a shit what you do to people; what you did to me and Heath.”

  “Heath is fine.”

  “Is he? Really?”

  I’m done here. I’ve heard enough, and I could stand here all night, talk until I’m blue in the face, but she isn’t going to listen. Because she doesn’t want to.

  “You can’t control me anymore. You don’t get to speak about my wife, or what the hell I choose to do in life, that isn’t your place. It never was. So you tell Harrison thanks, but his services won’t be needed.”

  “Then I’ll make sure that anything your father has left you – I’ll make sure you never see any of it. Not as long as you’re married to her.”

  “You do that, Mom. I really don’t give a shit anymore.”

  Thirteen

  Lola

  He’s outside, with Alicia and Heath, but I need a few minutes. I need to be on my own, just for a little while, but there’s only so long I can lock myself away in the bathroom before someone comes looking for me.

  I sit down on the edge of the tub and look down at my left hand, at the rings Evan put on there. And I still can’t work out whether he’s angry or upset, I can’t read his mood. I just know I’ve never seen him like this before. And I don’t know if it scares me, I don’t know if I have a reason to be concerned. But I’ve seen what secrets can do now; how they can rip families apart, make that rift so wide and cavernous that it becomes beyond repair. That’s one thing I do know.

  A tap on the door makes me jump and I get up and quickly check my face in the mirror. I look tired, but so does everyone else. It’s been a long day.

  “Lola? You okay?”

  I open the door and stand aside to let Alicia through. She looks at me, and hands me a bottle of beer. “You look like crap.”

  “Thanks. So do you.”

  I take a swig of beer and sit down on the floor, stretching my legs out as I lean back against the bath tub. Alicia joins me, and for a few seconds no one says anything, we just stare out ahead and drink our beer.

  “I was a real bitch, when we first met. Wasn’t I?”

  I turn my head to look at her, the corner of my mouth twisting up in a small smirk. “Yeah. You were.”

  She grins, and we both laugh, and I feel my mood start to lift slightly.

  “Sorry.”

  “There’s nothing to be sorry for. He’s your friend. You were protective of him, that’s understandable. I mean, you walk in here after not seeing him for years, and you find out he’s married his secretary.” I shrug and take another swig of beer. “I’d have been the same.”

  “You’re not just his secretary, Lola.”

  “I know.”

  We let another couple of beats go by before anyone speaks again.

  “What his mother said tonight…”

  “I’m over it, Alicia. It’s fine. Maybe she was just being protective of him, too.”

  “No. That wasn’t being protective. That was being spiteful. I mean, everyone knows Marcy King has a sharp tongue on her; everyone knows she’ll tell it how it is, but that – that was wrong.”

  I take another drink and stare at the chair in the corner of the room. One of Evan’s shirts is thrown over it, a pair of his shoes underneath it, and for the first time I wonder how expensive they really were. How much money does he spend on his clothes, I mean, this is a man who once offered to set me up in my own Manhattan apartment. Was I really that naïve about how wealthy he actually was? It just never seemed to matter then. I wasn’t with him for his money or his lifestyle, I fell in love with him. With him. With everything he is. Does that include his money? And why does it mean so much now? Why does it matter?

  “I love him so much, you know? But tonight…”

  “If you love him, Lola, then tonight shouldn’t matter.”

  I look at her, and I just don’t know what to feel, how should I feel? “Yeah. You’re right.”

  “I always am.”

  I laugh, and she reaches out and takes my hand and she squeezes it tight.

  “Actually, no, I’m not always right. I was wrong about Marcy. This time Evan was right, and I should’ve listened to him.”

  “It’s only natural that you wanted to try and push him toward making up with his mum. You weren’t to know this was going to happen.”

  “No.” She sighs and downs a mouthful of beer. “She had some of us well and truly fooled.”

  “You going back there tonight?”

  She shakes her head and drops her gaze. “No. I’m gonna go home.”

  “What about Heath?”

  She shrugs and finishes her drink. “He’ll probably just go back to his own place.”

  “Do you think you guys will ever get back together?”


  She shakes her head again and smiles slightly. “No. That’s done now. And we were always more like brother and sister anyway. Besides, I like being on my own sometimes.” She looks at me, and her smile widens just a touch. “For a while, anyway. Look, Lola, you and Evan should talk…”

  “We will. I promise.”

  “You’re gonna be okay. Right?”

  I squeeze her hand and throw her what I hope is a convincing smile. But I don’t say anything.

  “You want another one of those?” Alicia asks, sensing that I’m done talking about this.

  I nod, and I draw my knees to my chest and watch as she leaves the room to go fetch more beer. And she’s right. Evan and me, we do need to talk. We really need to talk…

  Evan

  “I guess being away in Chicago for all that time, I distanced myself from them to some extent. And you… Evan, Jesus, I’m so sorry.”

  I sit down on the low wall that surrounds our private terrace, and I stare out into the darkness. I know Lola’s with Alicia, and even though I want to be with her so badly right now, I think she needs some space. Just for a little while longer. I’ll leave her and Alicia to talk.

  “I want you to come with me, Heath.” I turn my head to look at him. “Back to New York.”

  He frowns, which is understandable, I mean, I’ve just realized this is the perfect solution. This is what I want now. I want my brother to take Dana’s place, to keep Cavendish King in the family.

  “Evan, I… I’ve got obligations here, I’m working out of L.A. now…”

  “And that’s what you want, is it? After tonight?”

  He sits down next to me, and I kind of feel bad for throwing more surprises at him on a night when I think he’s probably had his fill. But I want this. Out of all the shit that’s happened here, I’d like something good to come of it. And I don’t want to lose my brother a second time.

  “I don’t know, I mean…”

  “Mom’ll be fine, you do know that, don’t you? You walking away from the family firm, that won’t be a surprise, if that’s what you decide to do. Besides, you’d only be walking away from one to join another, wouldn’t you?”

  “You want me to become a managing partner? To take Dana’s place?”

  “Well, you’ll never be Dana…”

  I throw him a smirk and he laughs, and for the first time today I feel something other than anger and despair.

  “I’m serious, Heath. I want you to come to New York, with me, and run Cavendish King together. I mean, your name’s already up there on the wall. And New York’s your kind of city, right?”

  “I’m pretty much okay with L.A.”

  “Think about it. Please. Losing Dana to the Los Angeles office, Dad dying, and then all of this… I want a fresh start. And I think you could do with one of those, too.”

  He looks down, and he leaves a good few beats before he speaks again. “You’ve got one of the most successful law firms in New York, that’s for certain.”

  “And that’s how I intend it to stay. Look, Heath, I know you’ve spent a lot of time representing celebrities and sports stars and…”

  “I know my corporate law, Evan.”

  “Yeah, I know you do. That’s not what I’m saying. If I didn’t think you’d be good for Cavendish King I wouldn’t even be considering asking you to be a managing partner. But what I was gonna say is that, maybe, we need to look at expanding the client list we already have. Branching out a little. And you could help bring in some real big names, Heath. You could be one hell of an asset to the firm.”

  He takes another second, to think about what I’m asking him to do here. Because I’m, basically, asking him to uproot his entire life and move across country. He hasn’t really been in L.A. all that long, and now I’m asking him to leave this relatively new life behind and come with me to New York. And yet, the more I think about it, the more I think it’s something Cavendish King needs – a new kick up the ass, a fresh approach. We need my brother.

  “Okay.”

  It’s my turn to frown, because I wasn’t expecting him to come to a decision this quickly. “Okay?”

  “You’re right. I could be one hell of an asset to Cavendish King.”

  I smile, and I feel a tiny glimmer of hope ignite inside me. “Yeah. Bring the ego, kiddo. We’re gonna need that.”

  “I don’t like what Mom did today, Evan. I didn’t think she was capable of being such a bitch, and I feel so fucking bad that I couldn’t see it before. Because there were days when I’d blame you for tearing the family apart, and that was wrong. We never really were a family, were we? Not a proper family.”

  “It’s time to move on, Heath. Leave Mom to the only life she’s used to now, you’ll never change her. And if you stay and you try to do that, she’ll only bring you down. Like she did me.”

  “You walked away.”

  “And now it’s time for you to do the same.”

  Fourteen

  Lola

  I close my eyes as I feel him come up behind me; feel his hands gently grasp my hips, his mouth lightly brushing the side of my neck.

  “Heath’s gone back with Alicia.”

  “To her place?”

  “I don’t know. They might’ve gone back to his, I just know he didn’t want to go back to Mom’s.”

  I lean back against him and slide my fingers between his. “He’s really coming with us to New York, huh?”

  “Provided he hasn’t changed his mind after he’s slept on it, yeah. He’s really coming with us to New York.”

  “What about your mum?”

  He squeezes my hand and kisses my shoulder. “She’ll be just fine. She’ll have plenty of people all too willing to step into Heath’s shoes.”

  I don’t know why I should care about his mother, given the way she quite obviously feels about me, but for some reason I do. She’s already lost Evan, and now she’s about to lose her other son. She must feel something, surely?

  “With your dad gone… If Heath leaves, Evan, won’t she be lonely?”

  “Don’t waste your sympathy, Lola. You saw my mother in all her toxic glory tonight, and believe me, she’s never lonely.”

  I turn around and he snakes an arm around my waist, pulling me to him, and I lean in and rest my forehead against his.

  “I didn’t handle it right, what happened tonight. I should’ve spoken out there and then, let everyone around that table know what she…”

  I press my fingers to his lips and shake my head. “Don’t, Evan.”

  “Alicia was right. I should’ve defended you…”

  I let go of him and step back. “I don’t need defending, Evan. I’m not some weak little princess who needs her man to step up and look after her.”

  “That’s not what I’m saying, Lola, come on…”

  The anger, it’s coming from nowhere, from everywhere, it’s consuming me, and I don’t want it to, but I can’t stop it. Marcy King’s words are suddenly filling my head, taunting me, almost, they’re all I can hear.

  “No, Evan… You know, maybe your mother’s right.”

  He looks at me, and he frowns. “Maybe my mother was right? In what way, Lola, huh? In what way was she possibly right?”

  “She meant what she said.”

  “You really think you’re not good enough for me? You believe that bullshit?”

  “I don’t know, okay? I don’t know what to believe, I just know that it’s been one hell of a day and I’m tired and confused and I…”

  “You’re tired and confused? Who the hell watched their father’s coffin burn today, huh? Who’s the one who has to deal with this shit? And now you’ve gone all fucking paranoid? You’re letting her get inside your head, Lola, because that’s what she does. And you’re allowing it to happen, she doesn’t know you…”

  “I’m your secretary. She knows that much.”

  He sighs and leans back against the wall, dragging a hand back through his hair. “What do you want, huh?” He looks at me,
right at me, his eyes burning into mine. “Do you want to stop being my secretary? Hmm? Is that what you want? ‘Cause, y’know, we can make that happen. You don’t have to work for me, you don’t have to work at all, you can stay home all day and play at being the perfect New York corporate wife, but I don’t think that’s you, Lola. I don’t think that’s what you want. So what is it you do want? ‘Cause I sure as hell don’t know.”

  “I want you to stop being such a prick and realize that this is hard for me, finding out just what kind of family you really come from.”

  “The twisted, dysfunctional, but super-rich kind?” He raises an eyebrow, and I can see the frustration on his face, and I don’t even know where these words are coming from, I just know that I need to get this out in the open. Even if now – today, tonight – it isn’t a good time. It’s the worst time, but we’ve started this now. We can’t just put this – whatever it is – back in the box, it’s too late for that.

  “I want you to understand that I…” I trail off, because I don’t even know what I want him to understand, I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.

  “That you’re what, Lola? Come on. You want me to understand that you’re, what? A gold digger? Only after my money? Not good enough for me? Because all of that is bullshit, it’s crap.”

  “Did we rush into this, Evan? This marriage? Did we take things too quickly? Move too fast? I don’t know. Maybe we did all of that…”

  He comes over to me, and he cups my cheek and he makes me look at him. “It’s all bullshit, Lola.”

  “You think she’s ever going to accept me as your wife, Evan?”

  “I don’t give a shit whether she does or not, she’s not a part of my life. You are.”

  But I know it’s still a life I’m trying hard to get used to. And yes, I know the man Evan was when I fell in love with him; I knew he was a wealthy man, but it wasn’t the reason I wanted him. It wasn’t – isn’t – the reason I love him.

  “I don’t think I am good enough for you, Evan.”

  “Jesus Christ!” He steps back and sighs heavily, dropping his head, his tone’s exasperated, and I can’t blame him. I still don’t know why I’m doing this, why I’m falling into this well of self-pity, it’s selfish, given the day Evan’s had. But I can’t stop myself, I can’t shut up. “What do you want me to say, Lola? I love you, for Christ’s sake, isn’t that enough?”