Jest Right

by Piers Anthony

  “What?” Jess asked, astonished and dismayed.

  Santo put his hand on hers. “They’re illusions,” he reminded her.

  Oh, yes. Still, it bothered her. The girls, including the princesses, were young, but a quarter smitten with Magnus, as so many women were. When Magnus started responding, and kissing Kadence back, Jess was about ready to leave her seat and jump off the boat, running to intercept them.

  “Kadence wouldn’t do that,” Aria said. “Sure she likes him, as I do, but she knows he’s taken. He loves you Jess.”

  “And Magnus wouldn’t do it, either,” Santo said. “Because she’s a child.”

  “The Sea Hag is trying to get your goat,” Noe said. “So you’ll run out there with the key.”

  That was it, of course. Jess held steady, keeping the boat moving in the right direction. “Dell is close by,” she said.

  The illusion couple faded, evidently giving up the provocation as a bad job.

  Then Jess saw Magnus again, straight ahead. This time he was walking toward beautiful adult Nia, who was caught in entangling vines that were trying to haul her off the ground. He reached her and used a small knife to cut her free of the vines. “My hero!” she gestured, and kissed him.

  “But I know better,” Jess said through her teeth. “I won’t react.”

  “How close are we to the real ones?” Santo asked.

  “Almost on top of them.”

  “Then slow the boat. Give the key to Squid; she can steer it. You go make a histrionic scene to distract the Sea Hag while Noe and I quietly rescue the others.”

  “You are smart!” Jess said. She gave the key to Squid, and went to the edge while Squid took the tiller.

  Suddenly they were up against the cage—and the boat sailed right through it as if it were illusion.

  Santo and Noe slipped over the side and went to the sleeping figures within the cage.

  Jess stood facing outward. “Magnus!” she screamed. “Unhand that woman. She’s not nearly as young and malleable as she looks!”

  The figures paid no attention to her. They were too busy kissing each other. Magnus’s hands were reaching around Nia’s lithe body, pulling her clothing off, and she was cooperating fully, while neither paused in their passionate kissing.

  “Stop that!” Jess screamed louder. “Do I have to go out there and tear you apart from each other? He’s my man!”

  They blithely continued making out. Now Nia’s bare body was showing in ever-widening places, and Magnus’s hands were all over those places. They were extremely shapely places. It was starting to turn Jess on, despite the outrageousness of the scene.

  “That does it!” Jess called. “I’m coming out there!” She made as if to climb off the boat. But of course she didn’t.

  Now the couple was lying down on the ground, getting ready for a child-forbidden performance. Illusions, it seemed, were immune to the Adult Conspiracy. Squid shielded her eyes.

  “Got them!” Santo said.

  Jess looked back. There were the sleeping bodies of the others, including the centaur. Tata and the sleeping peeve were there also. It had seemed like only a moment, but of course she had been distracted. “However did you haul them here? The centaur alone is many times your mass.”

  “This is a small planet,” he explained. “It can’t afford much gravity. So they were light enough for us to carry. Now sail us out of the cage.”

  Jess got the key back from Squid and resumed her place at the stern. She saw that the bars and mesh of the cage were enclosing them. She snapped her fingers, and the sail brightened into flame the shape of a squashed stink horn. It was right; the deck now stank from the squalor coating the rescued sleepers bodies and clothing. She steered the boat forward, and it passed through the cage wall and on into the sky.

  “And I didn’t even have the key!” she yelled spitefully.

  Now the illusion figures reacted. They looked angry. Then they faded out.

  When they were safely above the planet, Jess tossed the anchor overboard on its line, and the boat stopped moving. “At ease,” she told the sail, and it died out. She was hardly a proficient navigator, but she was learning the basics.

  Jess took a deep breath—and gagged on the concentrated odor. “We (choke) have to (cough) get them (retch) clean!”

  “We do,” Santo agreed. “Us, too.” Because the rescuers were also coated. Jess was the only one still clean.

  “We have a dirty job to do,” Jess said grimly.

  Chapter 10

  Sea Hag

  “I have an idea,” Squid said as they gazed at the bodies strewn more or less haphazardly on the deck. “That sleep bomb that caught them—could it also have been a stink bomb?”

  “Why not?” Noe asked. “It certainly stinked us up just hauling them in. All the more reason to clean them up quickly.”

  “Maybe not,” Squid said uneasily.

  “And we have to clean ourselves up promptly, too,” Noe said. “Because even diluted, it could affect us similarly. I’m starting to feel sleepy myself.”

  “Yes, but.” Squid said.

  “Yes, we’ll have to take off their clothes and see them naked,” Noe said. “Including the adults. We can handle it, because we’re like a family on the boat. We’re not going to molest them. We can do what has to be done.”

  Still the child hesitated.

  “I have seen that look on you before,” Santo said. “What is on your mind, little sister?”

  “I . . . I don’t want to . . . maybe it’s nothing.”

  “Come here,” he said. “I promise I won’t snap at you. Whisper it to me, and I’ll decide whether it makes sense.”

  She went to him and whispered in his ear.

  Santo stiffened, surprised. “And they called me smart!” he said. “You’re right. I will tell the others.”

  Squid nodded, gratified.

  Santo went to Noe and whispered in her ear. She looked startled, then nodded.

  Why were they whispering? This wasn’t a childish game they were playing.

  Santo came to Jess and whispered in her ear. “The Sea Hag could be among them. They’re unconscious, resistance down. Part of her ploy.”

  And Jess was startled, too. “Nia,” she whispered back. “The one adult female.”

  He nodded. “They’re asleep, but the Hag may not be. Don’t let on. But—”

  “But tie her,” Jess finished. “Before washing off the stink. Just in case.”

  “You do it, quietly,” he whispered. “We don’t want her to know we’re on to her. If we are. Not until we have her host bound.”

  “Got it,” she said. The Hag might not be unconscious, but she couldn’t do anything with the body while it was unconscious. Now Jess reflected on the manner that body in the illusion had shown remarkably realistic detail, clothed and partially clothed, as if the illusionist was working from the original body.

  They got to work. First they removed the clothing. Squid took care of Ula, Win and Myst; Santo took care of Dolph, Dell and Magnus; Jess took care of Nia. She carefully bound the woman’s wrists behind her, not punishingly tight, but secure. As an afterthought she also bound the ankles together.

  The centaur did not wear clothing, this not being the high frigid atmosphere.

  Tata came to her, his screen flickering questioningly. Jess leaned down. “The Sea Hag may have taken over Nia. We’re just being careful.” The dogfish nodded and went back to guard the peeve.

  Once they had the bodies bare, Noe got the hose and splashed water on them all, including the dogfish and the peeve. Squid took the clothing below, to the magic washing machine.

  The clinging muck reluctantly loosened and flowed across the deck, then poured down toward the ground far below in a miasmic shower.

  The first to stir was the peeve. “Who pooped
on the deck?” it inquired peevishly.

  Tata’s screen flickered. “Oh,” the bird said.

  Then the children stirred. “You were knocked out by a sleep gas stink bomb,” Noe told them. “We had to wash you off to get you away from the gas.”

  The centaur stirred. Santo gave him the same message.

  The men stirred. The centaur relayed the message.

  Finally Nia stirred. Her eyes opened.

  Jess met her gaze, and knew immediately that she was staring into the baleful eyes of the Sea Hag. The worst had happened.

  The woman tried to kick, but her feet were bound. She tried to strike, but could not free her arms.

  “We’ve got you, Hag,” Jess said, her tone more even than her feeling.

  The creature tried to lunge forward and bite, but could not get the teeth into play.

  “Should we also gag you?” Jess asked, maintaining her supposed calm. There was nothing to be gained by letting her fear be known. “We are under no illusions about your nature.”

  The woman stopped struggling. “What do you want, you bleeping joker?” she demanded.

  So she wasn’t taking Jess seriously. Did it matter?

  Jess signaled Santo, who came over. “Santo, meet the Sea Hag,” Jess said.

  Santo didn’t flinch. “We’ll torture you if we have to,” he said.

  There was no further need for secrecy. “Folks, the Sea Hag is among us,” Jess announced loudly. “She took over Nia’s body while all of you were unconscious. We have her tied up.”

  They laughed, then caught on and quickly clustered around, heedless of their nakedness.

  “Get out of there,” Dell said angrily.

  The Hag turned a look of contempt on him. “Make me.” She knew she possessed the body of his wife. What was he going to do to that body, torture it? She was calling his bluff.

  “We have a better way,” Dolph said grimly. “We’ll simply take her back to the Brain Coral’s Pool, where the Brain Coral will separate them and confine her.”

  “Over my dead body!” the Hag spat.

  “If necessary,” Dolph said evenly.

  “But—” Dell protested, appalled.

  “Nia would rather die than remain possessed by the Sea Hag,” Dolph said. “You know that, don’t you?”

  Dell backed off. “Yes.” But he looked ill.

  Jess was beginning to get a hint of a glimmer why they needed Prince Dolph along. He had the nerve to do what needed to be done, if it came to that.

  “We can make her hurt,” Santo said. “The pain will be felt by the Hag rather than the host, because the Hag takes total possession. So if she doesn’t leave, we can still take her to the Pool. One way or another, we’ll get Nia back.”

  Che glanced at him. “You’re pretty tough minded for a child.”

  “Thank you.”

  “We’ll have to keep her confined,” Dolph said. “While we get on with our mission to this planet.” He glanced at Jess. “I think that will be your job.”

  “I think it will,” Jess agreed.

  “You will have to feed her and see to her natural functions.”

  “Yes.”

  Dolph glanced at Dell. “I think it best that you stay entirely clear of her for the duration. She has nothing but grief for you.”

  Dell nodded, looking faint.

  Dolph looked at Ula. “You see to Dell. You know the stakes.”

  Ula nodded. “You need to rest, Dell,” she said. She took his arm and led him away. Jess understood that she had once had a crush on him, or maybe Kadence had, and maybe still did. She wouldn’t do anything untoward, but would take the best possible care of him.

  There was no sign of Princess Kadence. Jess knew why: she didn’t want the Hag to know she was there. She of course hated the Hag, for freeing Ragna Roc and thus wiping out her mother. Aria was similarly silent. They just might be secret weapons.

  How deep were the waters they were abruptly in!

  “Let all go get dressed,” Che said. “Then on to find Sim Bird.”

  That made so much sense that no one argued.

  “Meanwhile the only ones who still smell are those of you who rescued us,” Dolph said with a smile. “Now we get to see you naked.”

  It was true. Seeing to the others had gotten them soiled. They stripped, and Myst took away their clothes, and Dolph hosed them down. It hardly seemed odd that a woman and three children were showering together. The important thing was that they had done what they needed to, when they needed to, to get the others back. Except, perhaps, for Nia.

  Jess kept the key.

  In due course everyone was clothed again. Win returned to the helm. The sail ignited, and they resumed progress toward Sim Bird.

  Jess went to Noe. “I will be taking care of Nia,” she said. “But I have a few things to wrap up first. Could you watch her for a while?”

  Noe concentrated, digesting the words so she could take them seriously. Jess was actually asking her to stand watch over the Sea Hag. She hosted Aria, who hated the Hag, as did her cousin Kadence, for similar reason. Then she nodded. She settled down beside Nia while Jess moved on.

  Dell, trailing Ula, approached Jess. “I know I haven’t taken you very seriously,” he said. “And I know why, because you are plainly a serious person. I just wanted to thank you for rescuing us from the Sea Hag’s trap.” He swallowed. “Even if you couldn’t save Nia.”

  “Neither has she lost Nia,” Dolph said. “That issue has not yet been settled.”

  “I wasn’t blaming her,” Dell said. But he sounded somewhat the way Santo had when apologizing to Noe.

  “The children were great,” Jess said. “Santo, Noe, and Squid. We all worked together.”

  “She says we children helped,” Squid said. She had become Jess’s principal translator.

  “I said more than that,” Jess said indignantly. “I couldn’t have done whatever I did without you.”

  Squid smiled. “She says we all worked together.”

  “Something else,” Jess said, remembering. “I’ve got Nia’s boat key. Who should have it?”

  “Who gets Nia’s key?” Squid asked.

  Dell considered for the better part of a moment. The two keys were vitally important for control of the boat. “Give it to Santo. He’s the most sensible one among the rest of us, and he loves Nia.”

  In any other context that would be an odd thing for Nia’s husband to say. But Santo had no romantic interest in any woman, and had turned to Nia for reassurance when the question of his likely Magician-caliber talent had been discussed. Nia was a kind of mother figure for him, at least on the boat. He had known her when she looked her age of sixty.

  Ula took Dell back to his room where he could suffer privately. There were ways in which the children were governing the adults in this time of stress. Dell looked as if he could collapse at any moment. Jess knew that in their partnership, Nia was the dominant one. He was ill equipped to function long without her.

  Jess went to Santo. “Nia’s key,” she said, giving it to him.

  He accepted it, nodding. “I will give it back to her when the Hag is gone.”

  They all understood the importance of keeping the key away from the Sea Hag. It would be the thing she most wanted to acquire, now that she was aboard Fibot. Had Squid not thought of the chance of the Hag possessing one of them, she might have succeeded in getting it by this time. Jess’s knees felt weak as she considered how close they had come to disaster. The Hag with the Boat—would spell doom to Xanth.

  “Bird ahoy!” Win called from the deck.

  They went topside, except for Ula and Dell, and Noe and Nia. There ahead was a golden bird the size of a roc. Jess understood that Sim had had different appearances as he slowly grew to maturity, and might change in the future. This would do; no one
would confuse him with the enemy bird, Ragna Roc.

  “Suppose it’s another illusion?” Squid asked.

  “Unlikely,” Dolph said.

  “Why?”

  “Because obviously the Sea Hag possessed the body of an illusionist before. Now she has moved on to Nia, whose talent is seeing eyes.” Then he paused. “She could be watching us!”

  “Unlikely,” Che said. “The Hag may control the body, but it will take her time to become proficient with its talent. She is still assimilating Nia. But it’s a good point: we should be alert for traveling eyes.”

  The boat landed neatly beside the big bird. “Sim!” Che called.

  The huge head turned. “Squawk!”

  “Yes, it’s really me,” Che said. “I gather the illusionist has been trying to fool you with false images.”

  “Squawk,” Sim agreed ruefully.

  “We are here on Fibot, the fire boat,” Che continued. “Prince Dolph is with us. He needs to know how he is supposed to help save Xanth. This is not something I know, but surely you do.”

  “Squawk.”

  “Sim will figure it out when he finishes with his present concerns,” Che said. “This is not dismissive. He has a great deal to assimilate, and he needs to do it in an orderly manner, or it can get fouled up. We’ll camp for a while until he is ready.” Then he addressed the big bird again. “Is there a convenient local site that does not stink to high heaven?”

  Something like a smile twitched at the big beak. “Squawk.”

  “Thank you.” Che turned to Win. “Tata will guide you.”

  It seemed that the robot dogfish had picked up on harmonics of the final squawk. His screen flickered. “Northwest,” the peeve said, indicating the direction with a pointing wing. The craft changed course.

  Soon they came to what appeared to be an island flower garden. It was surrounded by oddly shaped trees whose foliage formed a kind of mesh-like wall. They sailed over the wall and down to a green glade inside. Win neatly parked the craft on the lawn.

  “I will verify,” Che said. He spread his wings and flew off the deck, out over the island. He landed beside a bed of brown roses.