Undenied

by Maya Banks

  His hands trembled and the knot in his stomach grew. “How did you get so damn smart?” he muttered.

  “I’ve been in your shoes, honey. Or don’t you remember my little hissy fit I threw at the cabin before running off like an idiot? Once I settled down, I knew I only had one chance to make things right with Luke, and it was too important for me to screw up. The idea of being without him…”

  Wes saw the flash of pain cross her face as she contemplated her own words.

  “And you know you’re going to have to explain about us,” Gracie added. “All of it. You don’t want to chance her finding out from someone else.”

  He groaned. “I’ll be lucky to get her to understand my fucked-up way of saying I’ve fallen in love with her, but when I tell her you’re only my best friend, but that I happened to have sex with you a few months ago… I don’t see that going over too well.”

  “Are you holding her accountable for everyone she’s slept with in the past?” Gracie asked as she crossed her arms in front of her.

  He gave her a sharp look. “Of course not.”

  “And she won’t either. Or at least she shouldn’t. But if she finds out later, she’ll wonder why you didn’t tell her. It’ll seem like you have something to hide. Never a good thing.”

  “You’re right.” Wes sighed.

  “I’m always right,” she said cheekily. “Glad I can get someone to admit it. Now. You need to get your ass on the road. Track down your girl. I need to get back to my husband.”

  Wes leaned down and kissed her hard on the cheek. “Thank you, Gracie. I hope you know how much I love you.”

  She gave him a fierce hug. “I do. Now go.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Wes pulled up at Payton’s apartment complex and heaved a huge sigh of relief when he saw her car parked in her spot. He’d called her at least a dozen times, but she’d refused to answer. After the third time, his calls went straight to voicemail so he knew she’d turned it off.

  He sat for a moment collecting himself, preparing for the biggest fight of his life. Not an argument, but a fight to keep her. To make her understand.

  This was important. He hadn’t been sure just how important until he’d seen the tears she’d tried so hard to hide. And listened to her tell him to get the hell out of her life.

  His heart pounding relentlessly, he got out and walked down the sidewalk to her unit. Once there, he rested one arm on her door for a long moment before finally knocking. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to his arm while he waited for her to answer.

  He knocked harder then stood back, thumbs shoved into his pockets. A lifetime later, the door opened to reveal a very pissed Payton. His chest tightened when he saw the red streaks around her eyes.

  “Can I come in?” he asked quietly. “There’s a lot I need to say to you.”

  She hesitated, and her fingers gripped the edge of the door until they were bloodless. Then she shrugged and backed away before turning to walk inside, leaving him to follow.

  Once inside, he shut the door behind him. Payton stood several feet away, arms crossed defensively over her chest. She looked tired. She looked small and vulnerable. His chest ached at the hurt he’d caused her.

  He moved closer to her. “First, I’m very sorry about your dad. Is he going to be okay?”

  “He’s going to live,” she said shortly.

  He turned away for a moment and paced across the living room, hands behind his back. Then he swiveled again and stared at her.

  Payton watched as a multitude of emotions crawled across Wes’s face. He looked uncomfortable, like he had a lot to say but no way to say it.

  She emitted a tired sigh. She wished he hadn’t come all this way just to end things. She’d done a perfectly satisfactory job of that at the bar. If he had anything further to say, he could have left her a voicemail.

  “I’m drawn to you, Payton.”

  She snorted. “You have a damn funny way of showing it.”

  He continued on as if she hadn’t popped off.

  “And it scares the hell out of me. I shouldn’t need you like this so soon. But when I’m not with you, I’m thinking about you, anxious to see you again. I can’t explain this thing between us. God knows I’ve tried, but I do know I don’t want it to end.”

  Her heart did a funny little flip-flop in her chest.

  “It didn’t have to end,” she said softly. “I didn’t want it to end either. There was no reason we couldn’t have seen where it could have taken us. I wasn’t the one keeping score. I wasn’t the one hiding behind some bullshit exterior, afraid that I’d be seen as too desperate or needy.”

  He crossed the distance between them and took her shoulders in his hands. He stared down at her, his gaze searing holes in her face.

  “I lied to you, Payton. Not the best way to start a relationship. And I do want a relationship. With you. I told myself I didn’t. The idea scared me shitless because I liked my life just fine before you swept back in and turned my world upside down. I knew that things would change, that I’d have to make concessions, meet you halfway. And the selfish part of me wanted to have my cake and eat it too.

  “But I’m here because, Payton, I don’t want to be without you. Is it too soon to feel this way? I don’t know, but I can’t change that fact. I’m as sure of that as anything in my life.”

  He turned his head away for a moment as if grappling with the emotion she saw so clearly in his eyes just seconds before. When he looked back at her, his eyes were suspiciously wet.

  “Payton…I think…I think I might just love you.”

  She smiled. A watery, pitiful smile that only grew larger with every passing second. “I think I might just love you too, Wes.”

  He framed her face with shaky hands. She could hear the harsh exhalation of his breath. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, there was such love and relief, and a hunger that fed her hopes and dreams.

  He kissed her. Lightly, reverently. Then he slowly pulled away to stare down at her. “What do we do now?” he asked hoarsely. “I’m so tied up in knots I can’t even see straight. I’ve never…I’ve never felt this way about a woman. It’s kind of like being drawn on by a suspect and realizing I don’t have a weapon.”

  She laughed, a choked, husky sound. “I scare you that badly?”

  “You terrify me,” he whispered. “I’m terrified of losing you. I’m terrified of not being with you, of not being able to touch you, to make love to you. In such a short time, you’ve become so very precious to me. I don’t understand it. I don’t care.”

  Tears spilled from her lids and streaked down her cheeks. She went into his arms, wrapping hers around him. She buried her cheek against his chest, feeling the erratic beat of his heart.

  “I don’t want to be without you either.”

  He held her, stroking her hair with his hand. He kissed the top of her head.

  “I need to explain about Gracie.”

  She stiffened and pulled away. “Who is she?”

  Wes slid his fingers up and down her cheek. “She’s my best friend. One of them. She’s married to my other best friend, Luke.”

  Payton relaxed and smiled, nuzzling her cheek into his hand. “I guess I was rude to her.”

  He chuckled but then sobered. “There’s something more. I wanted you to hear it from me.”

  She cocked her head and stared inquisitively at the strain on his face. A bead of dread trickled down her spine.

  “Damn, this is hard to explain,” he muttered. “It’s going to sound worse than it is.”

  She sighed impatiently. “Just say it, Wes. No bullshit. No games. Just be upfront.”

  “I’ve slept with Gracie. I had sex with her a few months ago.”

  Payton blinked in surprise, and her chest tightened at the unexpected shock. “But you said she’s married.”

  “She wasn’t then. And it’s not because we were together. It’s a long story, but Luke and I were fulfilling a fant
asy for Gracie. She wanted a threesome.”

  She took several long, measured breaths as she absorbed his explanation. She had no right to be jealous, but damn it, she was. “That’s some friendship you have there,” she muttered.

  “I just wanted you to know, because if I get my way, you’re going to be spending a lot of time around my friends, and we don’t have secrets. I didn’t want you finding out from anyone but me, and I didn’t want you to think I had anything to hide.”

  She smiled and put her finger to his lips. “Shhh. I’m glad you told me.”

  “You’re not upset?”

  “Should I be?” she asked. “If this is going to work between us, we have to trust each other. You told me she’s only a friend. I believe you. Just in the future, I’d appreciate you being a little less of a good friend.”

  Wes’s shoulders sagged, and he tugged her into his arms. His fingers tangled in her hair as he clutched her tighter to him. “I thought I’d lost you, Payton. You don’t want to know what that did to me.”

  She smiled against his chest and closed her eyes.

  “I’m sorry for being such an ass,” he continued. “I’m so sorry about your father. I wish you would have called me. I would have come and stayed with you.”

  She pulled away and gazed up at him, blinking away tears. “You’re here now. That’s all that counts.”

  “I’ll always be here, Payton. We’ll figure out a way.”

  She smiled. “I know we will. I figure we have a lot to learn. There’s still so much I don’t know about you, but together… We’ll learn together.”

  Epilogue

  “Ellie, come on, you can’t decorate the entire house in white lights,” Jake grumbled “Let me at least do the mantel in colored lights.”

  Wes grinned as she ignored Jake’s outburst and calmly handed him yet another strand of the boring-ass white lights she loved so much.

  She cupped her swollen belly and smiled as she looked down. The baby must have moved again.

  “If you’re going to get this done before everyone else shows up, you better get a move on,” Wes drawled.

  Jake flipped him the bird. “I don’t see you doing much, Hoffman. Weren’t you supposed to come over and help?”

  “I helped. I told Ellie what lovely taste she had in Christmas decorations. And I helped her decorate the tree.”

  Jake muttered something unintelligible under his breath. A few seconds later, he climbed down the ladder. “All done.”

  Ellie smiled up at him, and Wes watched as Jake melted into a puddle of mush.

  The doorbell rang, and Ellie turned toward the door.

  “I’ll get it,” Wes said. “You two continue on with whatever it is you were doing.”

  Wes opened the door, and a rush of unseasonably cold air blew in. Gracie shoved by him and made a beeline for the fireplace. He chuckled as she stuck her hands out, teeth chattering a steady staccato.

  Luke walked in at a much slower pace and removed his coat.

  “Merry Christmas, Gracie,” Wes called over to her.

  “Come over here and I’ll hug you,” she replied. “But my ass isn’t moving from the fire.”

  He and Luke exchanged amused glances and both moved over to where Gracie stood. Wes held his arms out to her, and she curled herself around him, shaking like a leaf the entire time.

  “Damn, girl, it’s not that cold out there.”

  She shot him a dark glance as she moved from his arms to Luke’s in her effort to get warm.

  Ellie and Jake walked over and exchanged hugs with Gracie. Luke smiled at Ellie. “How’s the little one doing?”

  Ellie smiled. “Active. Keeps me up a lot at night.”

  The doorbell rang and Luke turned in the direction of the door. “That’ll be Jeremy and Michelle. They were leaving the same time we were.”

  A few seconds later, Jeremy walked in holding a baby carrier, Michelle right behind him.

  Lively chatter ensued as they gathered around the tree to ooh and aah over Ellie’s handiwork. Presents were dropped on the floor and shoved underneath.

  Amidst all the laughing and good cheer, a soft knock sounded at the door. Wes slipped away and went to open it. His knees went weak when he saw Payton standing there in the doorway.

  He hauled her inside, into his arms and kissed her long and hard. “I missed you,” he whispered.

  She smiled and kissed him again.

  “Close the door!” Gracie exclaimed.

  Payton laughed and turned to slam the door shut. Wes took her hand, tucked it into his and pulled her into the living room where the others were gathered.

  She received hugs from all around before Gracie promptly confiscated her, dragging her over to the fire to chat.

  He smiled. He’d gotten better about sharing her with his friends. Now it gave him a surge of satisfaction to see her accepted by the people so important to him.

  Things had been a wee bit awkward between Payton and Gracie the first time they all got together, but Gracie, in her usual straightforward manner, addressed the issue head-on, cleared the air, and the two had been at ease with each other ever since.

  After a while, Payton made her way back to him, just as she always did. She slipped her arm around his waist and stood beside him as he talked with Luke and Jeremy. Automatically, his hand came up to stroke her hair, his need to touch her ever-present.

  “Let’s eat,” Ellie said from the doorway of the dining room.

  They all filed into the formal dining room, and murmurs of appreciation filled the air as everyone saw how beautifully Ellie had decorated the table.

  When they were all seated, Jake cleared his throat and rose from his chair. He reached for the wineglass in front of him. He looked vaguely uncomfortable, but then he gazed down at Ellie, and a soft smile lit up his face. She reached up and squeezed his hand, returning his smile.

  Jake kept her hand in his and raised his wineglass with the other.

  “This past year has seen a lot of changes. All of which have been good.” He glanced down at Ellie again. “The woman I love more than anything put me out of my misery and married me, and now we’re anticipating forward to the birth of our first child.”

  A tear rolled down Ellie’s cheek, and she wiped at it self-consciously. As Wes stared around at the others gathered, he saw a mixture of emotions on all their faces.

  Did it get any better? His chest was about to expand to bursting. Mushy? Yeah. Did he give a fuck? No.

  Jake raised his glass in Luke and Gracie’s direction. “And our good friends finally saw the light, decided they couldn’t live without each other.”

  Luke folded his hand over Gracie’s on the table and leaned over to kiss her. She gave him a dazzling smile then raised her glass toward Jake and blew him a kiss.

  Jake lowered the glass to his right where Jeremy and Michelle sat with Thad in Michelle’s lap. “We got to see the first baby born to our group. A precious little boy sure to grow up with many doting aunts and uncles.”

  Then he raised his glass higher and stared down the length of the table to where Wes and Payton sat. “And we gained a new friend. Payton, you’re a welcome addition to our group. You make that ornery bastard happy, and that’s all we can ask.”

  Payton curled her fingers into his under the table as she smiled broadly back at Jake. She and Wes raised their glasses to Jake.

  “May we always be as happy as we are right here, right now,” Jake said, encompassing the entire table with a sweep of his glass.

  They all raised their glasses in a toast. As silence descended, Wes released his grip on Payton, looked over at her and nodded. She smiled and let him go. He stood, holding his glass with him.

  “A word if you don’t mind,” he said.

  All eyes turned in his direction, and Gracie looked like she might burst into tears at any moment. Wes grinned and shook his head. The hormonal lunatic.

  He glanced once more at Payton then reached down to pull her up besid
e him. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, holding her tightly against him.

  “We have something we want to tell you.” Wes took a deep breath. “I’ve asked Payton to marry me.”

  An outburst of congratulations and whoops made it around the table. Beside him, Payton wrapped an arm around his waist and squeezed reassuringly.

  “We’re moving to Liberty County. I’m going to be taking a job with the sheriff’s department there. Payton will be close enough that she can commute to Houston, and we’ll still be within an hour’s driving distance of you guys.”

  Gracie, bless her heart, promptly burst into tears. Luke did his best to console her until she informed him they were happy tears.

  The entire group crowded around, hugging, shaking hands, congratulating him and Payton. His fear of leaving everything that was familiar to him slowly dissipated. He still had his friends, people who meant more than anything to him, but better yet, he had Payton.

  She looked up at him as the others returned to their seats. Her blue eyes shined with such love and understanding. Unable to resist, he lowered his head to kiss her.

  “I love you,” he whispered.

  “I love you too.”

  “And he calls us pussies,” Luke said in disgust.

  Payton laughed and pulled away, but Wes kept a firm grip on her hand.

  He shot Luke a cocky grin. “If having the love of a good woman makes a man a pussy, then I guess we’re all pretty much screwed.”

  That earned him a smile from every woman seated.

  About the Author

  To learn more about Maya Banks please visit www.mayabanks.com. Send an email to Maya at maya@mayabanks.com.

  Look for these titles by Maya Banks

  Now Available:

  Seducing Simon

  Colters’ Woman

  Understood

  Overheard

  Undenied

  Brazen

  Love Me, Still

  Into the Mist

  Stay With Me

  Into the Lair