Married to the Dragon

by Selina Coffey

  Jenn had a few questions floating around in her head now, but she was afraid to bring them up — she didn’t even really know what to ask. “Um.” She looked down at her hands. “Never mind.”

  “I’m probably going to have to take a look at your stomach and lungs today just to check and see what’s going on, okay? What else have you been feeling?”

  “The nausea, mostly. And the dizziness. Sometimes I get really hot and then really cold and I feel like I’m going to pass out.”

  “How long have you felt like this?” Dr. Blake still had his face buried in the clipboard; all Jenn could see was his eyes, which were furiously reading notes on the page.

  “A month, maybe? The nausea is worse now, but not as frequent.”

  “Hmm.” The two sat silently in the room together for a few minutes. Jenn examined her fingernails nervously; Dr. Blake tapped his pen rhythmically on the clipboard. “I think — yes, I think we’ll give you propofol again today for this one. Sometimes stomach problems are, um, well, they’re a big concern with lupus, so I need to make sure nothing’s wrong.” Within minutes of hooking up the IV, Jenn started to feel woozy and her head began to spin. She felt the doctor touching her legs lightly and a slight pinch below her navel, and then everything went black.

  She is running through the jungle again, but this time, instead of herself, it’s a child being chased by a single snake, a giant anaconda with yellow pointy eyes. The little girl trips over a vine and screams, and when she turned around, Jenn sees it is herself as a little girl, no more than three years old. The child picks herself up and keeps running, her chubby legs churning over as quickly as they can. Present-day Jenn stands on the side, watching the dream take place; when she sees the snake advancing, she too screams and tries to catch up to it and save her younger self. It’s no use. The snake reaches her and swallows her whole. The dream fades to black.

  The clock read 3:22 p.m. when Jenn awoke to a faint throb of discomfort in her stomach. She rolled over and groaned, but the doctor’s hand stopped her. “Shh. Don’t move. You’re sore.”

  “Wha—?”

  “Shhhh.”

  Jenn kept her eyes shut tightly. Her thoughts were whirlwinds in her head; she remembered a pinch and a pull, and then there were visions of snakes before all the colors in her brain spiraled down into blackness. She felt as though she’d been asleep only for a second. As she now slowly figured out her surroundings, she saw Dr. Blake standing over her, a shadow in an even more shadowy room, green eyes staring down at her. She wanted to move, to reach for him, to open her mouth, but the weight of her own body wouldn’t let her.

  Dr. Blake was saying something to her, but she could barely hear him. She felt sick and woozy and the doctor’s words echoed in her brain. Then he cleared his throat, straightened his tie, and turned on his heel to leave, leaving Jenn alone in the dark room.

  After several minutes of silence, Jenn began moving her fingers and toes, her knees and her elbows. The numbness in her lower half slowly began to dissipate, leaving only soreness in her groin and thighs. She lay back on her hospital bed and breathed heavily for a long time. In the other rooms and in the hallway, patients and hospital staff were walking back and forth, chatting, laughing, talking about their weekend plans — but here, behind these walls, Jenn lay in silence. A short time later, there was a knock at the door, and Steve entered slowly. “Jenn?”

  “Yeah?” she shook her head to wake up. “Oh! Hi Steve! Sorry, I’m still ... a little out of it. Come in.”

  “What happened?”

  “I’ve been ... feeling sick, so Dr. Blake thought it was ... a stomach virus ... or something. I feel better now, though.”

  Steve’s face was full of concern. After helping her walk out of the room, he glanced back at the darkness behind him on the way out; it was the first time he’d ever seen the curtains fully closed, too.

  Jenn was starting to feel better after a few hours — she was thankful to Dr. Blake for being able to solve the problem so quickly. Steve took her to a festival happening downtown, where they had dinner and dessert and fed ducks in the park. After a while, just being in Steve’s company, Jenn forgot about her pain. She let her mind relax for a few hours, just to spend time with this guy she had been waiting for.

  “This is nice,” she said after a short silence. “I haven’t done this in a long time.”

  “What, go on a date?” Steve grinned.

  “So it is a date, then?”

  “I think so. Is that okay?”

  “Yes.” Jenn looked away, her lips spreading into a grin. Kenzie, I can’t wait to tell you about this! Suddenly she felt brave, and to her own surprise, she reached over and slipped her fingers into his. His hand gripped hers tightly back and they walked together through the park, watching the ducks play. She was so happy.

  After a couple hours of bliss, Steve, drove Jenn back to the hospital where she’d parked her car. “Thank you for the great night,” Jenn said shyly.

  Steve smiled back at her. “It was fun. Are you sure you’re okay to go home?”

  Jenn nodded. “Yeah, I feel much better. Thank you.” She giggled; Steve lifted her spirits considerably and she couldn’t wait to see him again.

  He paused, as if he was about to leave, and then, turning back, he put his hands on the side of Jenn’s face, lifted her chin toward him and gently touched her lips with his. They felt soft at first, and then firmer when he pressed more passionately into her.

  To her surprise, she was pushing back. It couldn’t have been more than three seconds, but Jenn felt like she had been waiting her whole life for it. When their lips parted, Steve looked deeply into Jenn’s eyes, whispered “Good night,” and watched her get into her car and drive away.

  Jenn dreamed of him that night, falling asleep with a smile on her face.

  Her happiness was short-lived. The next morning Jenn didn’t want to wake up. She didn’t want to eat. For days after her date with Steve, she no longer wanted to do anything; she slipped into a rut of lethargy and apathy and didn’t know why. Her abdomen continually throbbed with a dull, aching pain. She even stopped calling her sister and avoided Steve during her dialysis treatments, closing the curtains and the door.

  Her dreams haunted her. She remembered bits and pieces, always the same sensations: a little girl running, feeling bites and stings all over her body, the heavy breathing of someone chasing her, giant snakes rearing up in front of her ready to strike, nonstop hissing, the pungent smell of jungle humidity and rotting flesh.

  Almost a month after Jenn’s date, she finally pulled herself out of bed to drive herself to the hospital, although she could do nothing but sit silently during the whole treatment. Dr. Blake wasn’t on duty today; the receptionist had said he’d gone on vacation for a few weeks.

  The clock on the wall seemed to go backward while Jenn watched it during dialysis today. Once her treatment finished and the doctor left, Jenn merely sat there in bed, staring out the window — all that was outside was the brick wall of the building next door. It was raining. She stared at the falling raindrops for a long time, slowly curling herself up into a little ball on the bed. Her hair had come loose from being tied back and was falling into her face, but she didn’t care. She didn’t move.

  Then the door creaked open. Jenn didn’t turn to look, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw Steve tread gingerly inside the room. Her heart flipped over, the first real reaction she’d had to anything in weeks; she was excited and reluctant to see him.

  “Thank god you’re here,” he said, rushing over to her. His face, furrowed in concern, relaxed instantly when he saw her. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to reach you!”

  She didn’t reply.

  “Jenn, please.” He walked over to her bed and put a gentle, if somewhat reluctant, hand on her shoulder. Neither of them moved, but Steve could feel her upper body heaving up and down as she began to cry — gentle tears at first, escalating into aggressive sobs. “Jenn,” he
whispered. “Please. Talk to me. What’s going on?” Her sobs only grew louder, and she began gasping for air, gulping at anything she could inhale into her lungs.

  His hand rested motionless on her shoulder for several minutes, as they each faced the window. Then Jenn rolled toward him, swinging her legs off the side of the bed, pulling him to her, burying her face in his chest and making him lose his balance with a sudden step forward. He stood between her legs, his arms wrapped around her tightly, petting her head, and running his fingers through her long hair. He felt the vibrations of her crying and the wetness of her tears against his chest.

  Jenn didn’t know what had come over her; she felt the surge of every emotion run through her at the same time as she still felt an emptiness she couldn’t explain. She leaned up from his chest — his hands ran down her back as she moved — and looked Steve straight in the eyes. He met her pleading teary-eyed gaze with his own gentle one, wondering what was going through her head. Then he found out: she sat up straighter and pulled him toward her face. A second later, she kissed him with a passion that excited her and frightened her; she never imagined she would be in this situation. Steve kissed her back, overcoming his surprise.

  She fumbled with her hands, running them up and down his body. He went with it, pushing them down even farther, below his belt, where she could feel a quickly growing bulge in his pants. Her heart beat faster. She knew what was happening now, but she could barely process her feelings; all she knew was that she wanted it to happen — she knew she wanted him. With trembling hands Jenn unzipped his pants and started pulling them down, while Steve lifted her shirt overhead. His hands were adept running over her body; he knew what he was doing. Jenn recoiled for a second, suddenly scared, but Steve pulled her back to him.

  “Are you sure?” he said in an airy voice. Their exhalations were short and quick.

  Jenn breathed a barely audible, “Yes.”

  Without hesitation, Steve lifted her back up onto the hospital bed, pulled off her pants and underwear, and reached around her back to unclasp her bra. Within seconds, she was completely naked in front of him. She felt awkward and exposed, but his hands touching her made her feel warm and safe; all her insecurities disappeared at his touch. Her mind cleared and her tears dried. Her skin reacted instantly to his fingers, as if they were full of static electricity — he kissed her neck, then ran his hands down her chest, over her breasts, down her stomach, and further down her body, where he spread her thighs and gave her two soft kisses. Goose bumps covered everywhere on her body as Steve’s tongue touched her in places she’d never been touched, giving her brand new sensations of shock and pleasure.

  Finally Jenn let herself go and leaned back on the hospital bed, letting out faint moans as Steve kissed her below. Every light flick of his tongue, the touch of his fingers made her want him more. She was finally ready. “Stop,” she whispered, to his surprise.

  He looked up at her from between her legs, but she only looked him straight in the eyes and pulled him toward her so their hips were parallel.

  “Please,” she whispered. She felt him pressed firmly against her pelvis and moved her body to accompany him. He needed no further encouragement. Gripping her waist — while she dug her own fingers deep into the skin on his back — he positioned himself in the center of her wetness and slowly pushed in.

  Jenn swallowed. Her heart was beating faster, and she closed her eyes. Suddenly she felt a quick thrust below and Steve was inside her, creating pressure up and down her body. She let out a short gasp when Steve penetrated her, his cock tickling her inside and sending spasms of pleasure through her. He watched her closely while his hips met hers in a circular rhythm — she had thrown her head back and was holding her head with one hand while gripping his arm tightly with the other. Seeing her supine on her back, with her breasts rising and falling with each breath, maddened him with desire. He pushed on, stroke after stroke getting faster and faster until he was almost at the brink.

  Jenn’s body, too, was bucking at the sensations below her waist. She felt the friction between their two bodies create sparks of arousal and passion and she gripped Steve’s arms, neck, and back tightly as he drove into her. Finally, the sensation was too much, as pulsations shot through his body; he pulled out of her swiftly and released himself on her stomach. Together both of them fell onto the bed, breathing heavily for a few minutes. Then Steve turned toward Jenn, put his arm around her shoulder, and laid a soft kiss on her forehead.

  After cleaning up and getting dressed again in the hospital bathroom, Jenn sat on the bed leaning against Steve’s chest, feeling safe and content. The depression from weeks past had lifted, and relief flooded through her. She closed her eyes and let Steve hold her around her waist as they lay there together. “I thought it was supposed to hurt,” she said after a few minutes.

  “Huh?”

  “Sex. I heard it really hurts the first time. It didn’t hurt me.”

  “Oh. Well, I’m glad it didn’t.” Steve kissed Jenn again on the top of her head.

  “I don’t know what got into me. I’ve never done anything like that before. I’m sorry.”

  Steve laughed. “Don’t apologize. You were really into it. Where did that even come from?”

  Jenn took a deep breath. “I don’t know. I’ve been feeling weird lately, like everything has been bottled up. I can’t explain it.” She paused, and the silence between them made her nervous. “I hope you don’t think I was upset with you. Not at all. You made me happy. I just — I felt depressed and didn’t want to talk to anyone. But I don’t want you to think it was you I was avoiding.”

  “Then who was it?” No reply. “It was Dr. Blake, wasn’t it? Jenn, you can trust me.”

  Jenn didn’t know what to think anymore. Ever since Steve had come to her with his suspicions, she hadn’t seen Dr. Blake in the same light. “I don’t know, Steve, he’s never treated me badly—“

  “That you know of. You told me sometimes you have longer procedures. What are those?”

  “Well, it’s been for a bunch of different complications. I’ve seen him so many times I can’t keep them all straight. Plus sometimes I can’t remember them anyway.” Jenn suddenly sat up and turned to face Steve. “Why?”

  “I don’t know. Something isn’t sitting right with me. Maybe you should ask for a copy of your charts to see what sort of drugs he’s using.” Jenn had no reason to think Dr. Blake wasn’t being truthful with her, but she was growing more doubtful as she talked to Steve.

  Chapter Three

  Jenn’s thoughts were all over the place when she walked to her car that evening. She was giddy and excited about everything that had just happened with Steve, and she leaned against the door before getting in to process everything. Wow, so that’s what it’s like. I should call Kenzie. She couldn’t stop grinning, and she fumbled for her phone in her purse.

  “You’ll never believe what I just did,” she said once her sister picked up the phone.

  “Did you finally bang that hot doctor?”

  “What? Ew, no. But close, actually.” She wondered if her sister could practically hear her grin on the other end of the phone.

  “What! Oh my god, Jenn, what happened?” Kenzie’s voice had reached shrill levels. “Tell me, tell me, tell me!” Jenn laughed, and launched into the whole story: that day they met Steve in the hospital room, talking to him at the lupus awareness event, going on a date with him, and one thing leading to another today. In telling the story, Jenn kept pausing to give Kenzie time to shriek in shock and approval at her baby sister finally having sex. “Well? What did you think? I’m guessing you didn’t orgasm, huh?”

  “No, but—“ Kenzie coughed “typical” on the other end of the line “—it was really great. It didn’t hurt at all, and he was gentle. It was a really nice change from how I’d been feeling. It was weird, Kenz, I’ve been feeling really strange for several weeks in a row and it’s gone now, but I don’t know what it was about.”

  �
�What do you mean?”

  “Well, first I felt sick all the time, I couldn’t sleep well and had dizzy spells. I couldn’t eat much for about a month, so I probably lost a couple of pounds. It wasn’t good.”

  Kenzie let out a chuckle. “You know, Jenn, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were the next Virgin Mary. Because those all sound like pregnancy symptoms to me.”

  “Oh, stop it. There’s no way. Dr. Blake said—“

  “Dr. Hottie?”

  “Shut up, yes, Dr. Blake,” Jenn said his name more deliberately this time, “said it was a stomach virus and he had to go in and remove it. So luckily, everything went away after that, but then I felt really tired and lazy for weeks. Until today, really.”

  “I told you that you needed to get some cock, didn’t I?”

  “Oh my god, do you want me to hang up on you? I was just calling to update you on my life! Do you have to turn it around and make it gross all the time!” Kenzie only cackled in reply.

  Jenn and Kenzie talked for a few more minutes about a couple of other topics before hanging up so Jenn could drive back home. She couldn’t stop grinning at home, and for several hours, she felt like she was on top of the world. Later that evening, as she was trying to fall asleep, more doubts began to creep into her head. Dr. Blake should have recorded everything, right? So maybe I should ask to see my chart, but he’s been on vacation for several weeks; I don’t even know how I’d reach him.

  By now, Jenn had been lying in bed for hours trying to sleep and she needed to take another trip to the bathroom. When she stood up, she suddenly felt something wet in her underwear. Oh, no, she thought. Is it time for my period already? That came out of nowhere. I guess it has been a while since my last one, though. She grabbed a new pair of underwear on her way out of her bedroom and hastened her stride to the bathroom. Sure enough, when she sat on the toilet, she saw that the inside of her underwear was covered in dark red blood. Jenn started to reach underneath the bathroom cabinet for a tampon when she felt something wet and slippery push out of her and fall out of her into the toilet below. Gingerly she stood up and looked into the toilet bowl, where she saw a small translucent sac filled with blood about an inch long. She shrieked and jumped back. What the hell is that? When she leaned in to see it more closely, she suddenly had a flashback to her dreams, seeing the bloody child — herself — at the mercy of all the snakes. She flung herself back against the wall, panicked.