by Maya Daniels
“So, did you figure me out?” His voice is soft but echoes, and I jump a little because I wasn’t expecting him to speak.
“What?” I ask, holding my hand to my chest where my heart is trying to escape my ribcage. Laughter bubbles out of him as he flashes white teeth that sparkle like pearls in the light. I stare, unable to pull my gaze away from the perfection sitting next to me. It feels like the entire universe stops and the sun is shining just for me just from him glee.
“I asked if you figured me out since you are staring at me instead of eating.”
He looks pointedly at my plate, which is still full of everything I placed on it, and amusement dances in his ancient eyes. With a sigh, I push the plate away and stand up. It seems eating is a fruitless task at the moment.
Pacing back and forth in front of the table, I explain what’s been going on in my head. “I was wondering how you became such an important part of my life, to be honest. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful you are, but it scares me to death, too.” I wave the half-eaten celery stick like I’m directing an orchestra. He just sits quietly, his lips quirking at one corner as he attempts to suppress his smile.
“Every time I feel grateful and happy that someone is in my life, they get hurt or die.”
And with that, I start crying again. What’s wrong with you, woman? Get it together! I scream at myself in my mind, but I can’t control it. Lucifer sits still like a statue at the table, the blinking of his eyes—with those eyelashes a woman would kill for—the only sign that he is a living being, or entity I suppose. To me, he became just Lucifer. After a few minutes, I grab the kitchen bench and take several deep breaths, finally calming down.
It feels like I can’t get enough air in my lungs.
“It will take a few days until all that you held back comes out. It is okay, Alexia, let it all out. The sooner you do that, the faster we can get you out there to find your family and bring them back where they belong. However, while I’m at it … you have to understand that no one, not you and not even me, can go against the web of life.” The last words are quiet and cryptic, so I narrow my eyes at him.
“What does that mean exactly? That we can’t go against it. I won’t go against a single thing that isn’t trying to keep them from me. I just want the people I love back where they belong.” My words come out through clenched teeth.
“Do not trouble yourself with that nonsense now, witch. There will be enough time for that later.” He shakes his head more to himself than me. I’m not in the mood for more talking after the day I’ve had and all the emotional turmoil I have been through. I’m starting to feel very tired, to the point I’m swaying on my feet.
“We will talk tomorrow about this web of yours. I think I’ll call it a night. I feel very tired.”
Just as I say this, my body shakes so hard it feels like my bone structure is falling apart. I sink to the floor like a magnet is pulling me, unable to do a thing to stop it. Gripping the bench tighter, I pray it will pass quickly. Almost in slow motion, Lucifer jumps up and the table flips, flying through the air right along with the chair, both of which hit the wall behind him. In one step he stands in front of me, concern etched on his handsome face as he scoops me up right before I hit the floor. His lips move, but I can’t hear a word he says.
“I can’t hear you,” I trying to tell him, but judging by the thickness of my tongue the words are slurred. He attempts to force me to snap out of it, but it doesn’t help.
I’m just tired, I tell myself to calm my heart that is beating wildly in my chest like I just ran a marathon, but I know something is wrong. I can tell because I’ve never seen the angel so worried. I’ve never seen that many emotions play in his eyes, switching from one to another so fast it makes me dizzy. Who knew angels felt so much?
He touches my face with one hand, and as he pulls it away, there is blood on it. A lot of blood. After seeing it, I acknowledge the warm trickle from my nose and on my cheeks, but that’s not what makes me panic. As he holds me to his chest, I feel warmth between my thighs and down my legs, so I glance down. The red liquid pools at my feet, so much I can’t imagine it all came from me. A faint feeling makes my eyes roll back in my head, and with one last terrified look at Lucifer, I let the abyss embrace me.
Chapter 2
“She’s still not waking up. You said she would wake up at the end of three months, woman, and that time is now. Do whatever you think is needed and make sure her eyes are open when I come back … which will be in exactly ten minutes or you will know my wrath!” Lucifer’s angry voice echoes in my head.
Why is he yelling so loudly? More importantly, I want to see who he is yelling at. I already feel bad for the person. The angel can be intimidating when he’s being friendly, so when he isn’t … well, it isn’t pretty. A shiver passes through my body.
Opening my eyes seems like an impossible task. My eyes are glued shut, and no matter how much I try to pry them apart, they won’t budge.
“I said three months and that’s today, isn’t it? The day only just started, so keep your voice down unless you wish to wake her up yourself. I want her awake more than you do, believe me. You won’t intimidate me, Lucifer. I’m too old for that.” The woman’s gentle voice sounds familiar, but for some reason I can’t place it. It doesn’t stop a warm feeling from spreading through my body from hearing her, and it makes me realize just how cold I am.
Why am I cold? For some reason, I can’t remember. Nothing comes to mind that would cause this chill, either. I remember the argument with Lucifer in the woods, then walking back to the house and breaking down in the front yard, eating and then … nothing. Who are they talking about? A bad feeling sinks in the pit of my stomach that it’s me. Three months … three months! Panic claws at me, but it makes my arm twitch, so I’ll take it.
“She moved!” Lucifer says, excitement evident in his voice. It’s so palpable that it pushes me to try to move again. Also, I want to know exactly what is going on, so my curiosity fuels me to, though this time I have no luck. My heart drops.
“Don’t rush her, angel. If she moved, it means she can also hear us.” The gentle lady’s voice penetrates my panicked mind, calming me a fraction. “Alexia, it’s okay, darling girl. Take your time. It will take some doing until you open your eyes, so just breathe and let your spirit take over. It’ll know what to do. Let the energy flow through you unobstructed.” She guides me in that gentle tone and I obey. The warmth returns to me as I concentrate on my breathing. A tiny trickle of energy starts at my feet, and it feels like it’s pushing through some invisible barrier. I’m fully relaxed, yet the progress is very slow. My effort to guide it is futile, but I realize that’s the problem. I can’t control it. Surrendering to it is my only option, so I do.
Only a second passes before the warmth washes over my entire being like a river and I bask in it. It is safe and I can feel it, so I stop thinking, worrying, and doing, letting it pass through me as it wishes.
“Her color is much better now,” Lucifer mumbles close to my ears and I smile internally. He sounds like a mother hen. Who would’ve expected that from the angel? Not me, that’s for sure.
“If anyone hears you, they’ll think you care about me, angel.” I was thinking it, but somehow I hear my faint voice mumbling the words.
“That’s the first thing that comes out of your mouth, witch? After you almost killed me with worry—and I am immortal, need I remind you?” he reprimands, but I can hear the relief in his voice.
“What happened exactly? I can’t remember … and why can’t I move or open my eyes?” I whisper to no one in particular.
“You almost bled to death, witch. It was coming out from everywhere! I never knew a tiny thing like you had so much—” Lucifer starts, getting cut off by the lady that I still can’t place.
“You obviously know nothing, angel. Let her recover first before you scare the child to death. What do you men know of the Holy Grail?” she snaps, and I hear Lucifer grow
l deep in his throat. I want to laugh so much but her last words get my attention.
“What do you mean, ‘Holy Grail’?” I ask as the sensation comes back to my arms and legs.
“Good, you started moving a little. Try to wiggle your fingers and toes and tell me how it feels,” she guides, totally ignoring my question. I do as she says, but I need answers so I continue.
“The Holy Grail. What about it? I don’t have the artifact, so what does that have to do with anything?” My voice is also getting stronger, although it’s still only a little above a whisper. Deep breaths, Al, you’ll get there, I tell myself. The lady laughs wholeheartedly, like what I asked is silly or amusing. That frustrates me to no end, but I’m also exalted because at least my anger is still in there.
“In the blood coursing through our veins, we carry the lineage of all those who have come before us, as well as those that will follow. As big of an honor as that is, we also carry past karma with it. After your initiation, Lucifer said you were awakened. We, as women, go through the cycle many times in a lifetime … some more than others.” The last words are so quiet I hardly catch them, and I think she is done so open my mouth to ask my question when she takes a deep breath, continuing. “The transmutation of negative energies and karma is done in the Holy Grail, which is our womb and where creation is done. It hurts me that all women have been deprived of this knowledge, and because of that, they suffer through lifetimes.”
My mind is spinning. We all have the Holy Grail in us? All women? What the fuck? I scream in my head. How is that even possible? I’m sure there would’ve been stories, something written I would’ve read in the past to prepare me for this. As it stands, what she’s said is so out there I almost laugh, but the more I think about it the more I realize she isn’t crazy. No, I’m the one who is crazy for automatically dismissing it.
“I want to hear more about this, but I can’t understand what it has to do with what happened to me,” I mumble, my mind whirling as I try to put the pieces of the puzzle together.
“You went through a cleansing, child. I can’t be sure what karmic debt you carried, but I’m grateful to the Goddess it manifested the way it did, and believe me, I know how bad that sounds considering we nearly lost you,” she says with a heavy sigh.
While she is talking, my eyelids slowly, lazily open. A sliver of light pierces my vision, so bright my eyes snap shut again and I moan.
“It’s too bright; it hurts.” I groan loud enough to surprise even myself. My voice is coming back. I hear movement and by the energy that accompanies it, I know it’s Lucifer. You don’t have to see him to feel him. His power prickles your skin like ants crawling all over it. If that’s how I feel it, I can only imagine what it’s like for normal people. I hear the rustling of curtains, and through my closed eyelids I can tell blessed darkness is around me. My eyes still hurt from the light. I strain to open them again, fearful of the pain I experienced a minute ago. It’s dark but not too dark to see. I turn to my right where Lucifer’s handsome face is etched with worry as he looms over me. It still pisses me off that he’s so perfect. It is not fair by any means.
In the next moment, memories flood me from the last evening my eyes had been open. Three months ago. I have lost so much time when I could have been searching for my sisters, which incites a sense of urgency inside me to get out of this bed.
“I need to move,” I say out loud as I wiggle to sit up, but Lucifer takes my shoulder in his hand to hold me still.
“Don’t you start again, now, witch, I’ve just about had it with you and your attitude,” he grumbles.
“Three months, Lucifer. All this time has passed and who knows what is going on and if they are okay. I have to move. I need to get up and do something.” Desperately pleading with him causes the tears to spill from the corners of my eyes. I can’t stop them. He picks them off my face with his finger and looks at them with fascination.
“You can’t do anything for a day or two, Alexia, so instead of forcing it, let it run its course. The more you try to force it, the more it’ll delay your recovery,” the familiar voice says from my left and I turn my head in her direction, forgetting she is even here
At first I think I’m seeing things, but as she smiles and takes my hand in hers, I feel her energy connect with mine. My eyes widen in surprise.
“Daisy! What are you doing here?” I exclaim, so happy to see her kind blue eyes gazing at me lovingly. I missed her so much during the ordeal I went through in the eight months since I last saw her. She is smiling but I see the concern in her eyes, even when she tries to hide it.
“Hello, beautiful girl. I couldn’t leave you in the hands of a frustrated angel, now could I? And a scared one at that, if I might add,” she says cheekily, and I see Lucifer is staring daggers at her. It makes me laugh, which turns the dark scowling orbs to me. I give him a big toothy grin.
“Was the big bad Lucifer scared that the witch would die on his watch?” I tease him, and I can see he’s trying hard to keep the stern expression on his face. The corners of his mouth start twitching and he eventually gives up and chuckles.
“Women! You can drive anyone mad, angel or not!” He shakes his head and we all laugh a little.
“How did you find her?” I ask him. He looks at me like I’ve finally lost it. I see him flick his gaze at Daisy too and understanding dawns on his face. He shakes his head.
“And the web keeps unraveling,” is all he says while he walks towards the door.
“Hey! Where are you going?” I call after him.
“You two have things to talk about. I’ll go stretch my win—I mean legs. I’ll be back shortly,” he says over his shoulder, bending his head a little before he exits the room. I need taller doors in this house if he plans to stick around, is always the thought whenever I see him walk through a doorway. I turn my attention to Daisy, who’s sitting on the edge of the bed still holding my hand.
“What is he on about?”
“Ever since you were fifteen years old, I have been entrusted to watch over you. Margaret was solitary in her hope to protect you but whenever she needed help, she would come to me. We were childhood friends, us two. We even did our first ritual together,” she tells me, the sadness in her eyes breaking my heart.
“You knew my grandmother?” I ask, shocked. I can’t understand how this is even possible. I moved from country to country in hopes to stay away from that part of my life.
“Oh yes, very well indeed. I knew you’d be a handful, but you exceeded even my expectations.” She shakes her head. “I stayed in the shadows, keeping an eye on you and not interfering in your life even when I wanted to so that I wouldn’t alter your destiny. It killed me at times to stay back. When you moved here, I had my opening to get closer. A friend of mine got me the job at Wilson’s and Associates Adept Research, and I made sure to plant some seeds there about the benefits of branching out into quantum physics. Within a month you started working in the same company,” she explains with a smile.
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. All this is like something from a movie. Do things like this even happen to people? I wonder while my mind is trying to process the implications of all this. Bloody hell! “I don’t even know what to say to be honest,” I tell her truthfully. “It sounds like a movie script.”
“I don’t doubt it, Al, and I’m sure you’ll have more questions, but I would like you to try to eat a little, even drink a glass of water. All you’ve had for a long time is Lucifer feeding your body with his energy through infusions.” She stands up and walks towards the tallboy in the corner, where she pours me a glass of water from the pitcher there. I’m watching her mutely while everything they’ve said since I woke up races through my head. She hands me the glass and as I take it, she lifts my upper body and props me up with more pillows so that I’m half-sitting on the bed. I take a little sip slowly because my hands are shaking from being limp for so long. I use both hands to bring the glass to my lips. As the water touches my to
ngue, I realize how thirsty I am, and I lift the glass more, drinking all the water in a couple of gulps. Liquid runs from the corners of my mouth down my neck, but I couldn’t care less.
“More, please.” I hand her the glass while struggling to get air into my lungs. I think she wants to protest, but as she turns to me, her eyes widen for a second and she just nods her head once and brings the pitcher of water with her. Five glasses of water later, I still feel like I want more.
“That’s enough. Have a little break. If you’re still thirsty later, I’ll give you more,” she says and takes my glass.
Now that I’m not as thirsty, I feel my shirt, which is soaked along with the sheets covering me. I think about my behavior. What on earth is wrong with me, drinking like an animal, gulping the water like someone’s going to take it away from me? Lucifer’s right, there is something wrong with me. I look at Daisy, who’s sitting on the edge of the bed again and observing me like I’m some wounded animal that might bite. What the hell?
Like my thoughts have summoned him, Lucifer opens the door and walks in, bending his head again to walk through it. He has me pinned under his scrutiny, then turns his head to Daisy. She peers over her shoulder, and I don’t know what he sees in her face, but in two steps he is beside my bed, taking my chin between two fingers and raising my face up. He turns my head this way and that, touches my neck with his other hand, and lastly, he searches at my eyes. It’s incredibly unnerving to look angels or gods in their eyes. It feels like they are staring into your soul, as if you can’t hide anything from them, even the things you hide from yourself. And that, my friend, is some scary shit, I swear. I try to pull my head back, but he holds me still with his other hand.