by Maya Daniels
“Oi! What’s with the long face?” Faith’s Australian accent brings me out of my musings.
“No long face, mate. I can’t help it, it’s the only one I’ve got,” I answer her, shaking my head.
Leave it up to her to get straight to the point. No beating around the bush with Faith. I love her for it, but right now, with everyone’s eyes on me, I want to strangle her. Before anyone can say anything else, I grab the coffee from Meda and wave my hand. Passing me mugs, I pour coffee into each one, not for a second missing their narrowed-eye looks.
“So. We need to go on a little trip soon, guys. We need to get the potions back so we can open the portal.”
As I expect, dead silence surrounds me in less than a heartbeat. At least I won’t get any more questions about what’s going on in my head. One can hope.
“We’ll talk about that right after you tell us what’s going through your head,” Remi says.
I will bet my life they do this on purpose—let her snap at me because they know I’ll bite my tongue with her. I slit my eyes at her and of course, she mirrors me, as if daring me to argue. That’s one argument no one is going to win. Pick your battles wisely and all that crap.
“Apart from everything we need to do and how to stay alive while we do it you mean?” I ask sweetly.
“Don’t be an ass,” she snaps.
“Spill it,” Jez, Will, and Archie say at the same time.
“Since when do you two order me around?” I ask the light-workers, purposefully ignoring both my sisters’ requests. I guess I am an ass. Oh, well …
They look at me sheepishly, but it doesn’t last long.
“Don’t let her intimidate you. It’s her defense mechanism to act like a bitch when she’s hurting and doesn’t want to talk about it,” Remi says offhandedly.
“Nothing is going through my head.” Even I can hear the tiredness in my voice, no matter how hard I try to hide it.
“Of course not, Sap, you’re half Irish,” Jez quips.
“Huh? What’s that got to do with anything?” I ask, confused.
“It makes you half stupid,” she says proudly, lifting her chin, her British accent more pronounced than ever. On purpose, I’m sure.
I try. I swear to everything holy that I try, but I lose my battle. I burst out laughing so hard that tears run down my face. Everyone is laughing. I’m not sure if Lucifer understands her jab, but he is bent down with the rest of us for a long time. For all my shortcomings, I must have done something right to have these people in my life. As much as I like bitching about it, I would give my last breath for each of them, even the new additions to our little sister circle. Each and every one of them are exactly where they need to be: a tribe. That’s what we are now. It gives me a warm feeling in my belly like I’m drinking brandy.
“I love you Jez, but only because you’re the other half of my stupid,” I say after I manage to get some air in my lungs.
It was a good diversion, thankfully. We all sit and sip our coffee—tea for Jezzinta and Daisy. I know the moment of peace won’t last long, it never does.
Daisy finally adds her two cents. “You need to talk about it, Al.”
“I know.”
I purse my lips, unhappy because I can’t bring myself to ignore her. She’s aware of it, too, I know. That’s why she’s their last attack option when they corner me like this.
“Why aren’t you guys upset with me?” I blurt out.
“Huh?” all of them ask at the same time.
“All the shit you just recently went through was because of my stupidity. Why aren’t you upset with me?” I hold up a hand to stop whatever they want to say. “The four of you”—I look pointedly at Remi, Philip, Jezzinta, and Meda—“were hurt beyond anything you ever should’ve experienced and I’m trying to understand why you’re not upset. In case you forgot, Derik was the one who did all that while Remi tried to protect us from him, and my stupid hormones brought all that shit on everyone. You should be angry. You should resent me, not hug me and worry how I’m feeling about this.” Tears slide down my cheeks as I finish.
Stunned silence meets my sobs, but I can’t lift my head from my hands to look at them. Maybe it never dawned on them to resent me for everything they went through, and now I’ve given them the idea that they should. That makes me cry harder. It feels like my head will explode from the pressure, until I’m stunned out of my misery by an animalistic growl unlike any I’ve heard before. I only have time to raise my chin before Lucifer is looming over me. Stunned, I do nothing as he plucks me from the step I’m sitting on like I weigh less than a feather. He growls at Remi and Jez for daring to touch him while he cradles me to his chest like an infant and rushes inside the house. One wide-eyed glance at everyone over his shoulder is all I manage before we disappear inside. Shock paints their features, but the door closes with a deafening thud and Lucifer strides up the stairs two at a time until we reach my room.
Chapter 2
Alexia…
“What do you think you’re doing? Put me down!” I wiggle in his arms.
That is a bad idea! My breasts are pressed against his chest, and it does stupid things to my body. It’s not like it stops me, but I realize it’s stupid. Heat pools in my stomach, and I squeeze my thighs to elevate the tingling there. It’s a dangerous game we’re playing, and it’s been going on since I woke up three months after I almost bled to death in the kitchen downstairs.
Like I haven’t spoken, he enters my room and unceremoniously drops me on the bed, where I bounce a couple of times like a sack of potatoes. I say nothing, just watch him warily while he stalks back and forth in front of the bed, breathing hard. I know it’s not because he’s tired from carrying me. He’s angry—very angry. I do the most sensible thing I can; I keep my mouth shut. I’m almost proud of my self-preservation skills. But that goes out the window the next second when everyone piles into my bedroom like it’s Grand Central Station. Just for the record, it’s not a very big room. Definitely not big enough to hold ten adults.
"I wasn't aware we were having a party in my bedroom," I say to no one in particular.
Like I haven't spoken, they get comfortable. Philip sits, leaning his back against the wall, and Remi settles between his legs, resting her head on his chest. Jezzinta and Meda sprawl on my bed around me like cats on Sunday morning. Will and Archie sit on the floor next to each other, leaning their forearms on their knees, and Faith sneaks up next to Lucifer, who’s stopped prowling and is glaring at me with his arms crossed. Daisy is the only one standing in the middle of the room with her hands on her hips and a look of disapproval on her face.
"We could've done this downstairs, you know. There’s more room there for interventions," I tell Daisy.
It's like I say the magic word because everyone speaks at the same time, some yelling, others mumbling, but either way I'm starting to get a headache.
“Stop!” My voice echoes in the room like I’ve swallowed a megaphone. “First. Philip, you shouldn’t even be in here. You’re human. Everything that happened to you wasn’t enough? You want to get hurt worse or even killed next time? We have no idea what we’re going up against. You should do your best to convince Remi to stay with you and out of this, too!”
As I snap at Philip, I point a shaky finger at him. It’s not just my hand that’s shaking, it’s my entire body. The anger and fear for them makes me vibrate inside. Obviously they don’t hate me for what they’ve been through, though, so I guess I’ll have to help them see reason.
“Oh, wow! That’s how low you want to go now, Alexia? Causing problems in my relationship?” Remi looks at me disapprovingly, and I flinch like she has just slapped me.
“Causing problems? What the fuck is wrong with you people? I’m trying to make you see things realistically. So you can stay alive! Or wasn’t seeing him almost killed not enough of a wake-up call for you, sister?” I spit the last word at her.
In my messed-up head, I have it all figured out. If th
ey don’t listen to reason, I’ll say whatever it takes to keep them away from all the horrors I know are coming. Knowing they’re safe and alive is a win-win situation for me, even if I’m dead the end. Somewhere between my outburst downstairs and the time Lucifer carried me to my bedroom, my mind decided I should make sure they’re as far away from everything as possible. Maybe I finally went nuts.
“Stop being so stubborn, Al. Let’s talk this over once and for all so we can move on to more productive things. What do you say?” Daisy’s gentle voice is so reassuring that I almost give in to their silliness.
“There’s nothing to talk about. What I find frustrating is this: you guys all believe this is a discussion. Some crazy idea of transparency or democracy where we all get a say in things. Well …” I slowly get up and start moving them one by one towards the door. “Let me assure you, it’s not. I know it in my heart. There will be pain. There will be tears and death. But I’ll be damned if it’ll happen to any of you. Not while I’m still kicking.”
By this point, they are all in the hallway, apart from Lucifer, looking at me with frowns on their faces. At the moment I couldn’t care less.
“So go downstairs. Figure out who’s coming to help so we can get the potions. That’s all any of you will be helping with. I have a splitting headache, so I need some time to rest. I’ll come down in an hour.” With a thin, strained smile, I close the door in their faces.
“I guess the headache doesn’t count for Lucifer!” Jezzinta yells through the door, then she kicks it.
“Oh, he’ll be joining you in a minute, I promise!” I shout so they can hear me, but also to let the angel know I’m not in the mood for lectures.
I hear their footsteps as they stomp away talking quietly among themselves. They’re upset, but that’s okay. This needs to end, finally, and if they stick around, I have a feeling that things will keep happening to throw us off our endgame. It didn’t occur to me at the beginning that we would be dodging stray crazies instead of going straight for the tablets. I didn’t think it’d be easy by any means, but I certainly didn’t expect what happened. Never what happened.
Still facing the door, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Say what you need to say, Lucifer.” My voice is barely above whisper.
I sense his energy envelope me and the warmth of his body penetrates my insides before I hear him behind me. Stealthy as a cat. For someone as tall and muscular as he is, he moves like a shadow. You never know when he’ll sneak up on you. My entire body shivers and goosebumps cover me from head to toe. This is why I avoid him as much as possible. I’m not sure if it’s because he has the ruby containing my soul or if it’s just because of my stupid, treacherous hormones that I react like this. I have a sinking suspicion it’s just him. He snuck up under my skin, unsuspected, and made himself comfortable there while I was too busy drowning in guilt and anger to notice. Sneaky, sneaky angel.
The longer he stands behind me not saying a word, the more strongly my body reacts to his proximity. I’m trembling and fighting to stay still with sheer will alone. I want to lean against his chest and let him hold me with such force that my entire body trembles from it, but I stubbornly resist.
“Turn around, Alexia.” His words come with a gust of warm air, ruffling my hair and making me involuntarily lean back. My heartbeat is too loud for my own ears and visible through my shirt. I don’t blame my heart; I want to run and hide, too.
Squeezing my fists so hard my nails bite into my palms, I fight to stay calm and detached. Good fucking luck with that. His heart is beating as crazily as mine, and that freaks me out even more. My breathing gets shallow and labored, and finally my fight-or-flight response kicks in. Just as I pry my nails from my palms so I can reach for the door, his arms surround me, pulling me tighter against his chest, and my legs give out.
“Turn around,” he whispers.
“I can’t,” I mumble, but I’m not sure he can hear me. I can’t hear myself from the blood rushing through my ears.
“You cannot, or you do not want to?” He chuckles nervously and it does stupid things to me.
I know he can feel me trembling. I sure as fuck am aware he knows how turned on I am with him pressed to my body like a second skin. All he has to do is look down and he’ll see my nipples poking through my shirt. All that being said, I know he loves the fact that he affects me like this even when I fight to hide it. Especially when I try to hide it. I want to move away from him. I want to turn around and press closer, too. I hate myself for not being strong enough to push him away. I don’t need any more hurt. I’ve already had enough to last many lifetimes.
“Turn around.” He tightens his arms and places a feathery kiss on my neck, his hair tickling my face.
I can’t stop the low moan for the life of me. That earns me another chuckle, and it reverberates through my whole body until I’m nothing more than a bowl of Jello.
“Let me go, Lucifer.”
“I will. Turn around,” he says, taking a deep breath that expands his chest and almost lifts me off the ground.
I shift my body slightly, not sure what to do, but that’s enough for him. He spins me in his arms and I stare at his chest, not daring to lift my head. People usually talk about having butterflies in their stomach in situations like this, but I have a sinking suspicion they never tell the whole truth. If I have butterflies in my stomach right now; they’re drunk and having a rave party, because I’m lightheaded and dizzy.
“Don’t do this, Lucifer. Please.”
“What exactly am I doing, witch?”
“You’re going to kiss me, and that is one complication I can do without in this lifetime.” The words come rushing out all jumbled up.
“What makes you think I am going to kiss you?” I can hear the amusement in his voice, and my head snaps up so I can look at him.
The moment my eyes connect with his my entire world shifts on its axis. That moment when you see your own feelings, fears, and desires reflected in the other person’s eyes, your entire existence catches fire. You welcome it—you let it consume you, and nothing else matters but that very moment.
His lips gently brush mine in a feathery kiss, and his hand slides up my neck to cup my face. I don’t even think I’m breathing, but then he pulls me tighter to his body and kisses me like I’m the very air he needs to breathe. His tongue glides over and around mine, exploring, claiming, conquering, and all my reasons why this is a bad idea fade away. And breathing? Who needs to breathe? It’s definitely overrated!
My hands tangle in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer to me. I want him so close that we merge and become one being. Deep male moans and groans fill my ears as he slides his hand down my back, grabbing my butt and lifting me up against his body. My moans join his and I claw at his shoulders, not knowing what I can do to get closer, to be even more connected. The door pressed against my back and I wrap my legs around his hips as he grinds his erection on me, almost taking me over the edge. His hands, now free, explore my body with such calmness that it defies the urgency of his kisses. Cupping my breasts, he starts pinching, squeezing, pulling, every bit of it driving me out of my mind with need. I want his skin on mine, bare. Unrestricted.
Leaving my mouth, he trails kisses down my neck and shoulder, and all I can do is hold on while whimpering noises fall from my throat. Am I begging him to stop or hurry up? I rip at his shirt. I need it off. I need to touch him. Then a knock on the door makes us both jump away from each other like our touches burn each other.
“Can you two come downstairs so we can talk, please?” Remi’s voice floats loud and clear into the room. “You can continue with the sex later, like when we go to bed because I don’t need to hear it.”
I’m still panting, short of breath, and my brain is mush. I got nothing, zip, zilch, nada. Lucifer stands stock still, fists clenched by his sides, puffing short breaths through his teeth like he is about to blow and kill us all in the process. His eyes are fully focused on me like a predator
spotting prey, and it doesn’t seem like he has heard a word Remi said. That’s when I realize my skin is prickling like someone is shocking me with low voltage.
“We’ll be there in two seconds, Remi. Go downstairs.” I speak just loud enough for her to hear me. I’m hoping she will heed the warning in my voice and go without any smartass remarks. Things will get really fucked up right now if something triggers the angel. I don’t think he’s aware it’s Remi’s voice that has made me jump away from me. He looks like he’s ready to pounce and recapture his prey. To my surprise, she listens to me, and I hear the fading sound of her footsteps.
“Lucifer, you’re with me, right? I’m not trying to run; Remi startled me when she spoke.” I lift both my hands slowly and speak softly, hoping he understands me.
Chapter 3
Lucifer…
Finally I see her walls crumbling, and she consciously returns my kiss. I should shout to the Universe so it can hear my victory and acknowledge my perseverance when it comes to the witch. She is like a skittish animal. Not that I can blame her, with all the betrayal she has gone through. I know it will take time, and I have plenty. For hundreds of years that is all I’ve had—time.
As her tongue glides and dances with mine, I let go and lose myself in everything she is. She is mine and she will not be able to deny it any longer. It takes everything I have to keep control of myself and touch her slowly, cautiously, so she doesn’t run. She is good at running. No more. Feeling her legs wrap around me; the warmth coming from her core almost makes me spill like I have never touched a female. She calls to something primal in me. She always has, but I was not aware how deeply we are connected. There is no escape for her now. I need to feel her, skin to skin, but before I have a chance to tear her clothing away, she jumps away from me. My body shakes, and I fight to keep my power from blowing her and everything else to pieces. My entire focus is on her. She wants to run again. I shall not allow her that freedom. Not anymore.