by Maya Daniels
“No!” The word exits my numb lips like air.
Remi’s eyes lock on mine. Tears stream down her face, but she smiles as if that will make everything better. “I love you, sister,” she says quietly.
Philip screams a gut-wrenching sound and jumps on Ishtar, but in a practiced dance, her hand pulls the dagger out and slits his throat like it’s all a game to her. Remi crumbles next to him on the ground, one hand holding the hole in her stomach. There’s so much blood spilling from her wound, more blood that I’ve ever seen at one time. Her other palm holds Philip’s face as if she is about to kiss him. I crawl towards them through the blood.
“They’ll be okay, it’s not fatal. Right? She can heal.” Like a crazy person, I place my hand over her wound to staunch the blood from leaving her body, moving my other to Philip’s neck but I freeze when I see his unseeing eyes, “Do something!” I snap at the gods surrounding me. No one moves.
“I guess this can count as blood sacrifice and payment for my help,” Ishtar says so nonchalantly I can only stare at her dumbly.
I can’t even cry. My brain hasn’t registered what has just happened. Maybe if I deny everything hard enough it will all go away and we can start from the beginning again and garner different results. It’s the only thing I have left, and I cling to it like a lifeline.
“It’s not real. It’s not real,” I chant under my breath.
“The payment must be made to open the portal. You must give me something you love and can’t live without. This will be your sacrifice,” Ishtar continues, no emotion whatsoever in her voice.
“That is not my sacrifice, you murderer! You killed them!” I scream at her. “This is not real …” I keep chanting and the pentagram brand pulses, burning my palm just like when Meda and Faith were taken from me.
For the first time, I notice with all three of them gone, the pentagram is bringing their life-forces inside me, blending them with mine. I’m disgusted with myself, but I can’t stop it. A light glows from the bag Jezzinta has on her back and she numbly pulls it off, dropping it at her feet between her and Daisy. They are standing unnaturally still, tears streaming down their expressionless faces. I can see they feel exactly like I do: numb all over. I turn away from it and smooth Remi’s hair from her face, smearing blood all over it, but I don’t see the blood. I just see her face—her eyes closed like she is sleeping.
“I think she just needs to rest a bit. She’ll be fine in a little bit. She was tired, so let her sleep.” My voice sounds like it’s coming from someone else.
Scooting a little closer on my knees, I lift her head and place it in my lap. With the back of my hand, I angrily wipe the tears from my face and keep smoothing her hair.
“Alexia, let me take her. I’ll take good care of her, I promise. The portal is opening and you must go, love.” Inanna’s gentle voice makes me take my eyes off Remi’s face and look at her.
Tears, like jewels, sparkle on her lashes but she doesn’t let them fall. I stare at her dumbly, like she has spoken in a different language. It takes a while for her words to register. Hope blooms in my chest.
“You’ll look after her, right? She’ll be okay; she just needs to rest.” I search desperately for anything on her face that will tell me it’s true.
“Yes, I will take good care of her, I promise.” One tear rolls down Inanna’s cheeks, and she cups my face with her hand. “Go now, love. I promise you will see your sister again when the time is right.”
“I will stay with them, too. My journey ends here, but my heart will be with you always, no matter where you are, Alexia. I do love you very much,” Daisy says, her heart in her eyes as she kneels next to Remi.
I know what Inanna is saying doesn’t mean what I want it to mean, but it’s all I have. Daisy will stay to help. That must mean something, right? The fact that she will be gone from my life as well doesn’t register at all. If I ask for clarity, I know I won’t get the answer I want, so I keep my mouth shut. I can lie to myself better than anyone else can, and I’m not sure I can do what I need to do if I have to face the truth right now. Something pulls on my hands, and I realize Inanna is trying to pry my fingers open because I’m holding onto Remi like a vise. I know I need to let her go, but I don’t think that I can. My body is not my own. With effort, Inanna makes me release my hold, and someone’s arms wrap around my chest, lifting me up. Just by his touch, I know it’s Lucifer.
“Come, my love. We must go through or it will all be for nothing. The portal is starting to fade,” he says with his face in my neck.
“Go, Alexia. I will keep my promise and look after her,” Inanna says, sitting on her knees and taking hold of Remi.
“Both of them,” I point numbly towards Philip as Daisy pulls him closer to her.
“Yes, love. Both of them.” Her voice cracks on the last word.
“Jez, you go with them. Remi might need you,” I tell Jezzinta, and finally, her expression changes.
“No, I’m going with you.” There is desperation in her voice.
“Sis, I can’t handle it if you get hurt, too. Please. Besides, Remi would love to see one of us when she wakes up,” I tell her.
She bursts out crying and hunches over, going through the portal before I can stop her. The fantasy I’m living in my head is stopping me from doing many things. I know I’m in denial, but I think I want to stay in it forever. I can’t face it otherwise. Everything is happening out of my control and all I can do is watch.
Inanna bows her head over Remi, and I tear my gaze away so it doesn’t make me face the truth. Lucifer tugs me towards the portal, and I stride forward like I’m struggling through quicksand. As we reach the portal, he stops to let me go through first. I search his eyes and the sadness in them twists my insides so much I sway on my feet lightheaded. I blink at my bloody hands. It’s my sister’s blood covering them like paint.
Turning my head, I lock eyes with Sin first. There is some emotion there that looks a hell of a lot like respect, but I refuse to think about it. He nods solemnly at me, and I look at Ishtar. She is standing proud and regal next to him, not a trace of remorse in any of her features. I look into her eyes for a long moment but there is nothing there.
“When this is all over, if I live, I’m coming for you!” I tell her evenly. Not a threat, a promise.
“I know,” is all she says.
With that clear, I turn back and step through the portal with Lucifer right on my heels, dropping into the biggest storm I have ever experienced in my life.
Chapter 36
Lucifer…
I know why everything played out as it did. What angers me the most is that I played a part in it, unaware of their plans. My heart breaks for Alexia, but I cannot say anything to make change this. The sacrifice had to be made and Ishtar, in her twisted way, made it easier on Alexia. She made sure it wasn’t Alexia making the decision of who the sacrifice would be. By acting the villain, she let the sacrifice come on its own. No, it does not make things easier to bear, but I am just like them. Or I was, until Alexia changed me without me knowing it even happened. I understand the goddess’s reasoning, how she thinks she has done Alexia a favor. We do have twisted ideas of right and wrong when it comes to humanity, I see that now. I am gutted that I cannot do anything to spare her this pain.
I feel powerless …
That is a sobering thought for me. How is it possible that I have this gut-wrenching need to protect her from everything, including herself, yet I cannot do a thing to make it so? She is still in shock, or perhaps she is making sure to stay in denial so she can deal with what is to come. There is no emotion on her face until she looks down at the blood on her hands. I watch closely in the hope that I will know how to help her … if she lets me. She frowns at them, blinking slowly like she’s not sure if it is real or a dream. A long time passes, and as I am about to nudge her to go through the portal, she speaks and dread pulls at my heart.
“When this is all over, if I live, I’m coming for yo
u!” she tells Ishtar with such promise in her voice that my body shivers.
“I know,” Ishtar answers, and as Alexia turns towards the portal, I see sadness in her eyes. She nods at me.
As I said, I understand the twisted sentiment in it all, but it does not make it right. This very moment, I vow to myself and the creator that I shall be all that she needs me to be. I will love her so completely that even knowing I cannot erase her pain and loss, she will have the will to live. She must, or I shall be no more. Not without her.
After I step behind her through the portal, my wings spring out on their own, keeping me in place in the middle of a storm. Winds with great intensity slam into me so hard I have to use all I have to remain standing. I support Alexia as well, since they press her to my front with such intensity I can feel her heart beating on my skin through her back.
I look around, trying to see where Jezzinta is. The last thing Alexia can handle at the moment is losing her, too. I keep twisting and turning while trying to remain on my feet, but I can’t see anything because of the sand in my eyes. I keep blinking to try to clear them.
“I can’t see Jez,” Alexia yells over the winds.
“I am looking, my love. We shall find her,” I shout back just as I spot a lump in the distance. “Look, she must have taken cover there.” I point towards it, still holding one arm wrapped around Alexia.
We move slowly towards it. For each step we take, we must stop because it feels as though the winds pick up to keep us where we are. The lump disappears and reappears closer to us. I hope I don’t have to fight whatever it is. That would mean letting go of Alexia, and I am not willing to do that.
“It’s moving,” she says, and I just nod.
The lump does it a couple more times, and then it’s easily recognizable. A grin splits my face at how smart the witch is. Jezzinta is using her magick to pull a big rock from the ground to protect her from the winds. Everything else is flat desert, full of nothing but sand. She is yelling something we can’t hear, waving her arms for us to come to her. We start moving again, but as we get closer the ground shakes, lowering the rock where Jezzinta is hiding. We stop, and the ground stops shaking. Jezzinta’s eyes are wide, and determination is set on her face. She lowers the rock into the ground, crawls as fast as she can, and starts pulling it up again. Only this time it’s not coming up and the winds are pushing her farther away from us. Alexia panics and jerks away from me, but I hold on tight. A rock pops up again when the wind pushes Jezzinta far enough from us and Alexia stops struggling.
“We cannot get closer; it’s not letting us. If we try, she may get hurt,” I yell over the winds, hoping we will not debate for long because the longer we stay like this, the more tired I get. My shoulder blades ache from the pull of the winds on my wings.
Alexia looks like she is arguing with herself. She looks at Jezzinta with a frown filled with desperation and I don’t need to be able to read her mind to know that she is assessing whether she is fast enough and strong enough to make it there without harming Jezzinta. I shake my head at her, feeling the truth deep inside my heart. We won’t make it.
“We must find shelter and wait it out!” I tell her, my voice getting lost in the howling around us.
She looks from me to Jezzinta and back. I can see when she realizes that there really is nothing she can do at the moment. Nodding her head, she closes her eyes and lifts her hands in front of her. My skin prickles as her powers surge through them and burst towards Jezzinta. Like a shield, sands lift and block the path of her powers before reaching Jezzinta. Alexia tries a couple more times before she stops, sweat beading on her forehead. Jezzinta waves her arms to get our attention, and as we watch, she pulls two more rocks around her to make a little cave big enough for her to curl up in and be safe. She pokes her head out, giving us a thumbs up, and Alexia relaxes next to me.
“She will be safe,” I tell her, only because although useless I still want to comfort her somehow.
She nods at me and, turning around so she can lean her back on my chest, she raises her hands, making her magick swirl to create a dome-like barrier around us that looks like frosted glass. Ice. It’s breathtakingly beautiful, just like the one who created it. The sound of the outside is muted and my body sags a little since I don’t have to fight to remain standing anymore.
“That should do it, I think,” she says evenly.
“Yes, I believe it will,” I tell her.
“Let’s hope the storm doesn’t last long. We need to keep moving so we can get back as fast as we can. I need to check on Remi.”
“Alexia—”
“Don’t you dare say a word! I don’t want to hear it right now,” she cuts me off and I swallow the words I am about to say.
She is still standing with her back towards me, her shoulders tense. Her breaths are coming fast like she is fighting a battle. Well, she is fighting a battle, but it’s one cannot help her with it. I can, however, make her stop thinking about it for a little while. We are stuck here, waiting for the storm to end, after all.
“Come to me, Alexia. Let me hold you for a while.”
“Why? I don’t need comforting, Lucifer. I need to kill something. Preferably Tiamat or Ishtar, but anyone will do at this point.”
“If you kill me, will that make you feel better?”
“It might …” She finally looks over her shoulder and smirks at me, but the sadness in her eyes rips my heart.
Without a word, I pull her to me and kiss her so deeply my own mind goes so blank that all I can think about is the way she tastes on my lips.
Chapter 37
Alexia…
Lucifer’s presence is all-consuming as it is, but when his lips devour mine, it’s an experience all on its own. My body responds to his like two magnets: he acts; I react. It’s the only way to describe such an in-tune connection. I like to fool myself that it’s because he’s carrying my soul around his neck, but I’m adult enough to admit that he has managed to wiggle his angel ass into my heart and has no plans of leaving. The worst part about it is I don’t mind. Not anymore, anyway. I’m dead inside and he can make me feel alive—if only for a short while.
He angles my head so he has better access to my mouth and tangles our tongues, sucking, nipping, and sipping on my lips, driving me insane. Wrapping one arm around my waist, he pulls me so close it feels like my bones will break, but all I can think about is the bulge that's poking my belly. My toes curl and my knees go weak, so I sag in his arms, unable to stand on my own. Moaning deep in my throat, I tangle my hands in his long, dark hair, enjoying the silky strands sliding through my fingers.
“You are driving me out of my mind, woman,” he growls when he comes up for air, but I find it difficult to concentrate on his words, his face. On anything, really.
A pathetic whimper passes my lips. I want to kick myself for it, but apparently it’s the correct sound to make, because a gleam shines from his eyes before he dives in again, kissing me with even more intensity as a rumble reverberates vibrates his chest. It’s a sound I love, just like he loves the sounds I’m unable to stop myself from making when he isn’t kissing me. I may even do something really stupid next, like beg him to rip my clothes off right along with his own.
When he lifts me I automatically wrap my legs around his lean hips, locking my ankles behind him. Then, kicking my sneakers off, I pull him closer to where I need him to be. This makes the slits of my dress part, leaving my bare legs around him. He groans as soon as his hand makes contact with my skin. He glides it from my knee to my hip, sliding it under my thigh and beneath my dress, grabbing my ass and pulling me onto his erection. He jerks away from our kiss and I wonder what’s wrong, but my words get stuck at the intensity I see in his eyes.
“I’m not going to let you get away this time. I’m going to fuck you so hard you will feel me between your legs for years, even if I am not there.” His deep voice makes goosebumps spring up all over me.
Heat pools between my legs lik
e a furnace and my wetness drenches my panties from his words alone. My body shivers uncontrollably in his arms.
“Promises, promises,” I mumble, panting because I will die if he actually changes his mind.
“You’ll beg me to stop.”
With those words, he drops my legs, grabs the top of my dress, and drags it down to my hips. With another jerk of his hand, the dress drops and pools around my ankles. I stand in front of him in my panties, my choker dancing on my collarbone because of my panting. Slowly and deliberately, he reaches for my panties. The tearing sound that follows makes my heart jump in my throat. The corners of his mouth lift into a triumphant, barely-there smile as he steps back, eyeing me up and down.
“You are beautiful, my love,” he says hoarsely.
“And you are wearing too many clothes,” I point out, making him chuckle.
“So I am,” he says as he lugs his shirt over his head.
No matter how many times I see him, I can’t help admiring his beauty. He hates it when I call him beautiful, but if I’m honest, not even that word does him justice. Defined arms flex with his movements as he removes his clothing. Broad shoulders lead to defined pecs and a six pack that makes my mouth water. A V shape points to muscular thighs and calves. Even his feet are beautiful. I realize he is already naked, standing still and letting me take him in. My eyes zero in on the erection that’s pointing towards his bellybutton and I gulp. I never really paid attention to its size. My knees go weak again. My nipples are so hard they hurt, and my insides shake as I watch it bob up and down as if it knows I’m staring at it. Lucifer makes a pained sound, and my eyes jerk to his face. He does look like he is in pain, but still I smirk at him. His face changes into a predatory mask as he inches towards me. I take an involuntary step back. His erection jerks at that and I gulp. What the fuck is wrong with me? It’s not like I haven’t seen a cock before. I’m no shrinking violet, but with him it’s different. I know everything will be different, and it freaks me out.