by Stella Cassy
Her sweet words come flooding back to me. You have the nicest cock I’ve been privileged to see, Tarion of the Hielsrane. I can’t wait to try it out. I don’t wish her to try me out. I want her to be mine. However, she is not interested in remaining at my side. Knowing that she rejects me even though she thrills at my touch spikes my anger.
Pulling her down, I surge into her wet, willing body. My dragon spurns me on, eager to mate. When I move, Carissa moves with me. Like before, we are one. Yet we are not because she rejects me. Shoving all my useless thoughts aside, I move on her with purpose.
Stepping closer, I pull her flush against my body. My mouth finds her neck, nipping at her skin. She’s going wild in my arms again, but I hold her tight to my chest as I thrust into her body using long deep strokes. She whispers nonsense to me between throaty sounds of feminine pleasure. Tucking my talon carefully back against my hand, I slip my hand to touch her clit. I have to wrap my wings around her to hold her place.
When I feel her reaching her peak, I whisper, “Come for me. Let me know you love my cock if nothing else about me.”
“I love you. I do.”
Something about hearing her speak those words spikes my anger, my lust and something much darker. I open my mouth against her shoulder. Instead of nipping at her sensitive skin I bite, feeling my sharp teeth break the skin. She shivers in response. Something in the back of my mind knows I shouldn’t have done that, but my dragon needs it with a desperation we’ve never known. The moment I release her and lick the small wound, I feel disgusted with myself.
She comes apart in my arms like she was meant to be mine. I can’t help but follow the moment she clamps down on my cock so tight that it feels like I’m being choked. Reveling in every single moment of the pleasure we share, my chest immediately begins to ache. We could spend many long years in each other’s arms, if she would but accept me. I know she won’t. She’ll run again the very first chance she gets. Losing the mate I marked will be endlessly painful. Why in the hell did I give her my fire?
Pulling out, I jerk the bar down until her feet can touch the ground and step back. My eyes graze the bite I left behind and I’m unable to cope with seeing it. What should have been the most amazing moment of my life is filled with unimaginable grief. Unable to look her in the eye, I turn on my heel and head for the cleansing unit.
Standing under the streaming water, images of her in the throes of passion fill my head. Claiming a female that I can never have was both ignorant and short-sighted. Only a fool would do such a thing. Slamming my fist into the metal wall over and over, I release all my anger. It’s anger at her for rejecting me and anger at myself for foolishly caring about a female who does not want me. Though my knuckles are bruised and several have busted open, it matters not.
A voice brings me back from my rage. It’s my Carissa. She’s apologizing to me for running. Empty useless words are not what I need right now. I need to purge the beautiful brooder from my heart. She can only continue to hurt me if I care. Leaning my forehead against the cold metal wall, I realize that the water is cold because I didn’t take time to adjust the temperature. It matters not, for I have bigger problems at hand.
Carissa is growing louder and more emotional. I wish she would just stop trying to manipulate me. Perhaps I will lock her in the room across the hall to give myself a reprieve from the war taking place in my mind right now.
Hitting the drying unit, I stand with my eyes closed for a brief moment. When the door slides open, I step out and walk out to deal with the one who is the root of all adversity in my life. I should not have shared sex with her. It only increases my need.
I’m disappointed that she’s worked herself into a frenzy, She’s still babbling but I can hardly understand what she’s saying.
“Stop, before you make yourself ill.” Thanks be to the gods that she does. Our sex must have been too much for her to handle after such a long separation. Though that’s not what she was yelling, I know in my heart that it’s played a part in her breakdown. Hell, I’ve bitten her, and she probably does not know what to make of that. If she did, she’d probably be in even worse shape. Trying not to look at my bite on her lovely pale form, I try to console her. “I am moving you into another space. It’s best if you are out of my sight, then I won’t be tempted to use you in such a way.”
Snubbing back a tear, she shakes her head. “I don’t want to want to be all alone.”
My anger spikes again. “Perhaps you could pick a warrior more to your liking.”
“I like you.”
“You ran from me, therefore what you say cannot be true.” Stalking to my clothing compartment, I begin pulling out clothing. “Gods of chaos, I don’t even have to be half smart to work that out.”
When she speaks, I can tell she’s breaking down again. “I didn’t want to leave you. You said you were turning me in for the bounty. Being a slave is awful. If you care so much about me, how could want that for me?”
Turning to her, I frown. “Being a slave in this quadrant of space is a legal status, not a situation you have or I have control over. I can’t change the laws of the verse to accommodate your wish. If I could, rest assured I would, but that’s not how the verse works.”
Tearing up again, she sniffles like she can’t catch her breath. Her sniffling has me worried. What will happen to a human who loses their breath? Bad things, I suspect. It seems like something that could cost a human their life. Rushing over, I rub her back. “You must not lose your breath again. It is not healthy for one as small and frail as you.”
Sniffling again, she stares up at me with tears wetting her cheeks. “I just want to be treated like everyone else. Being labeled a slave is bad enough but everyone valuing me only for breeding is humiliating. I’m more than a set of ovaries.”
“This you have said before.”
“But you never listen. You just keep right on forcing me to be a slave. I need a real life. Lying around some posh home, breeding one child after another for a rich alien that I might not even like will slowly kill off everything that makes me unique and special. I know you don’t want me to be beat down like that, so why won’t you at least talk about setting me free.”
“Setting you free would be inadvisable because any being could lay claim to you. I cannot protect you unless you are mine. You ask me to risk that which I value most.”
“I deserve the dignity of risk in my life.”
She will not be put off this ridiculous idea of attaining freedom. Reaching out, I slowly unbind her, unnerved at the way the rope has marred her soft skin. Picking her up, I carry her to my cleanser. My willpower crumbles in the face of her earnest desire to experience life on her own terms. Reluctantly, I have to admit she deserves a better life than the one that she’s been dealt. She clings to me, like I am her last hope. Little does she know how harsh the verse can be, even for one such as myself. “Come, we will find a way for you to taste the freedom you crave. Though it costs me dearly, I will do what I can for you.”
Taking my time with her, I gently wash away her tears and rub scented oil into her muscles to calm her down. It seems that we have both run out of words, so we climb into bed and she falls asleep with her head on my chest.
The sadness of realizing this is all in the verse I need to find happiness settling on me like a damp cloak. Never did she once proclaim her love, affection or preference for me as a male. She used the work like in reference to me. One likes a fruit, a pet or a friend. Like is not a word one uses to describe a mate and this is how I know she does not share my feelings. The reason is clear. I am a broken warrior, with not the skill to draw a mate.
11
Tough Choices
~ Carissa ~
Waking the next morning curled up to Tarion’s large crimson body, I feel conflicted. His handsome face is so relaxed and serene when he sleeps. His tail is laying limp over one leg, reminding me of its dirty deeds the night before. Even now his arms are coiled around so tight I can hardly
breathe. He’s possessive, even in his sleep.
Images of last night float through my mind, causing my whole body to tingle. He fucked me senseless like the dominant Drakon male he is, taking care to give as much pleasure as he got. I honestly love the way he handles my body. We’re totally in sync when it comes to sex, if nothing else. I snuggle closer to his hard warm body, rifling through the images of last night for evidence of him overstepping sexually. I find none.
When he released me I was really losing it emotionally. Being in his arms as he did his best to calm me down made me feel like I mattered to him. Maybe he was just tired of the hysterics and wanted to shut me up but it seemed like more.
Looking back, his behavior makes me wonder if our intimacy beforehand was lovemaking or just sex for him. For me, it felt like both. My head fills with a thousand doubts and I begin second guessing myself. I can’t think clearly with him so close and the scent of our shared sex hanging so heavy in the air.
Climbing quietly out of bed, I pull on my clothing and slip out of his quarters. Deciding to explore the ship seems like a good way to clear my head. I intentionally stay away from the loading bays and escape pods is my way of to signal that I’m not trying to leave again. Tarion’s crew will certainly be monitoring my movements after giving them the slip.
My attention is captivated by the ship’s smooth streamlined design. It’s one of the best I’ve ever seen. Each corridor is lined what appear to be benches built into the wall. Stooping to look at one, I see it is deeper than a normal seat and the back has a peak jutting straight up the middle. They also have a strange dent the size of my head formed into the metal where the back meets the seat. An indentation funnels away from it growing slightly narrower off to the side of the seat. It takes me forever to realize it’s for their tail, or caudal, as the Drakon call it. The back with the ridge is clearly meant to accommodate their folded wings. It makes sense that their ships would be built to accommodate their unique anatomy. I can imagine Tarion’s bulky form sitting in the seat with his wings pressing comfortably into the back designed to cradle and protect them and his caudal wrapping around to rest on the floor.
Each seat has a compartment set into the molded metal beneath. I open one, curious to see what’s in there. I find an assortment of food bars, hydration packets and other emergency supplies. There’s room for hundreds, maybe thousands of people to be transported, making me wonder what the payload of a vessel like this might be. Closing the compartment, I continue my exploration.
A door slides open automatically when I walk past. Inside there is a room with a huge window, displaying a breathtaking view of space. I’m drawn to the huge mostly empty room. There are square metal beams running from floor to ceiling and a few stark metal benches.
Approaching the window, I press my hand to the glass, discovering that it’s some type of transparent gel medium, the more I push into it, the more dense it becomes until I cannot go any further.
“You should not touch. Are all humans so curious?”
Whirling around, I see someone I don’t know leaning on the door. He’s tall and has similar coloring as Tarion. They almost look like they could be related. I’ve already noticed that the Drakon are various shades of red, green, blue and brown. I’ve even seen one with gold and copper scales. I realize that I haven’t responded to his question. “If the Drakon can be described as collectors, humans could be seen as curious. It’s almost our defining quality as a species.”
“That can be a dangerous quality to possess.”
“My name is Carissa.”
“I am Tarion’s first officer. My name is Lehar.”
I immediately perk up. “Tarion mentioned you collect fragments of shell. Naturally, being human, I’m curious about why out of all the things a person can collect, you chose shell fragments.”
Surprise registers on his face and he blushes slightly. “I find them fascinating for many reasons. The foremost among them is because the shells are all different colors, textures and thicknesses. When our young hatch, you can tell much about their potential from those shell fragments. A thick shell means the female mated with a prime and was well-nourished. The little one will likely be larger and stronger than young hatched from thin shells. The shell takes on the pigmentation of the hatchling nestled inside. I like creating collages from the shells. They will be used to decorate my own hatching chamber when I take a mate.” He’s embarrassed that I drew him into talking of something the Drakon consider kind of personal on our first meeting. I file that handy bit of information away for future reference. I try to think of a polite way to get away from the subject of his unborn children. “So you’re an artist?”
“I am a warrior who dreams of one day having young of his own.”
That didn’t go as smoothly as I’d hoped, so I try again. “I guess Tarion’s collection of ancient weapons is an indication that he dreams only of his next conquest.”
“Tarion and I were young warriors together. No one on this ship knows him better than me. To say my captain only dreams of conquest is to underestimate him greatly. Tarion is a complex male.” The slight indignant edge to his voice has me wondering about their relationship. His looks scream relative but his behavior screams best friend equally loud.
Nodding, I agree, “He’s a confusing male.”
“Where you are concerned he has been fairly straight forward.”
That’s new information. He’s trying to make me feel as though I can trust Tarion. If nothing else Lehar is a wonderful best friend for my headstrong dragon. “He made it very clear that is goal was to collect my bounty, and he has not said his plans for me have changed.”
He points out sagely, “Yet, you are here admiring the stars instead of making your escape.”
He’s got me on that point and we both know it. “Maybe I’m being gullible but I don’t think he’ll turn me in to collect the bounty. He was too freaked out and emotionally unhinged about losing me for me to think he’ll ever voluntarily let me go.”
A soft smile lights his face. “Perhaps you are right. It is not my place to speculate.”
“It’s not looking much like he will ever grant me freedom either. Before my last escape, I would have been furious about him keeping me as a slave. Since Tarion was on my mind the entire time I was on the run, I now know he means something to me. I have to admit that I’m not keen on the idea of giving him up again.”
“What about your freedom?” It sounds almost like he’s teasing me a little. It’s nice and friendly, not snarky so I’m not offended.
“Being his slave seems terribly unfair but the best deal I can hope to find in this sector of space. I’m thinking that’s why his father’s human slave accepted it so readily.”
“Again, your words are not far from the truth. Rather than considering if my captain is your best option, it would behoove you to assess what it means to form an emotional attachment to a man like Tarion.” He sounds a bit like a teacher, walking his student from one philosophical point to the next.
Wrinkling my nose in confusion, I glance over my shoulder at him. “What do you mean?”
His expression is open and his voice sincere. “Tarion is not necessarily a good man and he likely never will be what most people consider upstanding. Our world is composed of a million shades of gray. The last female who thought to change him ended up bound and abandoned on a deserted planet.”
The little voice in the back of my mind likes hearing that. “Any woman foolish enough to try to mold Tarion to her will deserves a harsh response. I’ve never thought he needed to change who was to suit me. I only want to be seen as a person and not a possession by him.”
“We all accept the things we cannot change, Carissa. The rules of the verse do not change for you, simply because you are a beautiful brooder. To stay is to accept that or risk being stranded on your own deserted planet one day.”
“What if I don’t accept that those are my only choices?”
“If you were but
a sorceress who could bend reality to your will, then you could change the verse to your liking. As you are not, then you must choose an option from among the choices you are given, just as Tarion and I have done. Do you not think we wished our lives to be different from what they are? I can assure you we had dreams in our youth that are even now unrealized. So it is with all the beings in the verse. Adversity breeds character.”
“You sound like a philosophical old man.”
Tossing me a lopsided grin, he replies, “And you speak like a child who has yet to accept the reality of her situation.”
Smothering back a smile, I decide that I like Tarion's childhood friend. “I will take what you said under advisement.”
“You should get back before my friend thinks you have made another escape attempt.”
“We wouldn’t want that.”
When he disappears from the doorway, I take one last long look at the swirling nebula on the other side of the window and then head for the door myself. I go back and forth in my mind between arguing with Tarion about giving me my freedom and just accepting the situation for what it is. I turn the situation over in my mind, break it apart and analyze the details until my head hurts.
Before I’m finished, I find myself standing in front of the door to his quarters. When the door slides open, I step over the threshold. Once again I’m standing at the foot of his bed trying to figure out what to do. Looking at his long muscular body laid out on the bed, I realize there’s only one choice to make.
Peeling off clothing, I climb back into his bed and snuggle up against him, luxuriating in his warmth. The bottom line is I want freedom, but I want him more. I want his grumpiness, his rare smiles and his adoration. For some reason I also want to know he’s safe and happy. That matters to me as well.