Forbidden Duke (Princes of Avce Book 4)

by Victoria Pinder

  Calm eased through her. She stopped on the path and closed her eyes. “You’re the closest thing I have to family.”

  “I know dear. It’s why I’m coming.”

  She opened her eyes and began to walk forward again. “What if Blackwell doesn’t let me get my stuff?”

  “Don’t be negative or stupid. If you love him, listen to your heart and do the hard thing for you. Believe.”

  Life wasn’t a romantic movie. Her shoulder slumped, but at the same time, she let her heart lead her feet. Did she love Blackwell? She’d never met anyone like him though not seeing him again left her feeling empty and unable to think clearly. “I don’t know.”

  “Look, why don’t you give your old therapist a call?”

  Wise. Beth knew her, but maybe she could figure this out on her own without paying that bill. She nodded as she continued along the path. “Maybe I will, but not until I get the room. I don’t want anyone to overhear that conversation.”

  “Okay, see you soon.” Beth hung up the phone.

  Donna stared at the white house that was bigger than the White House itself. Blackwell’s life was larger than life. He deserved love and happiness, but so did she. She needed to decide fast if she could move past her own self-sabotage. Going to her dark place emotionally wasn’t good.

  She must look a mess, but she walked up to the front door and slipped inside. If she saw Blackwell, she wasn’t sure what she’d do. There was no way “I’m sorry” was going to fix what she’d broken.

  14

  No one waited for her behind the front door. Not Blackwell, or Chelsea. Her heart dropped to her stomach, but she swallowed hard past the ache in her throat. She needed to accept that she’d ruined her chance. She headed upstairs, trying to remember the path to the bedroom and her bag.

  The halls were quiet and the silence echoed within her body. Where were the servants?

  She opened a door on her right and peeked into the shadows. The room looked familiar, so she went inside and toward the closet.

  Her luggage sat on the rack, waiting for her to unpack.

  All she had to do was leave.

  She ran a finger over the outer edge and told herself leaving was for the best, but her heart whispered she was making a mistake.

  Behind her, in the bedroom, she heard the door open. She turned and froze. Blackwell. His thick, dark hair, brown eyes that shone with strength of the mountains, and those broad shoulders that took care of everyone and everything.

  He lowered his head. “I don’t want to disturb you, Donna.”

  The last thing Blackwell could ever do was bother her.

  He turned to slip out and she saw his shoulders bow. “Please wait. We need to talk, Blackwell, if you’ll listen.”

  He faced her, his expression taut. “You want me to close the door?”

  She took a deep breath. It was time to tell him, everything. She refused to cry again and give in to her past. If she didn’t tell him how she felt she would regret everything, just as Beth said. She motioned toward his bed and said, “Yes. Please come and sit.”

  She perched on the edge and waited for him to sit beside her.

  It took Blackwell a moment, but the bed depressed as he sat and she glanced up to meet his warm brown eyes. Warm, because he cared, but also guarded because she’d hurt him. “I won’t bother you again, Donna, with my feelings.”

  She placed her hand on his thigh and let her heart speak without interference. “You love me. And the truth is, I love you.”

  His eyes widened in surprise and he reached to hold her. “You do?”

  Donna patted his hand away, but nodded. “Yes, but please listen to everything, first?”

  He turned toward her with one leg up on the bed. “Okay.”

  His parents had raised him to adulthood so there was no way for him to truly understand, but she had to try. It wasn’t fair to either of them, if she didn’t. She’d reacted terribly to Chelsea, and that was on her. She met his gaze. “After my parents died, my grandmother put me in therapy as I blamed myself for not being lovable enough. When Harry cheated on me, I refused to even think those thoughts, but they were there. It’s why I agreed so quickly to this trip. I wanted to figure out how to change and be stronger. I didn’t think I’d ever meet you or be open to love. Part of me doesn’t trust how I feel, but if I don’t tell you, I’d feel like I stabbed my own heart out.”

  He leaned closer and whispered, “That’s awful. I’m so sorry. Their car accident had nothing to do with you.”

  She almost asked how he knew about it but then remembered he had a computer program with her name and information, so he must have read her background. She admitted, “It’s not an emotional state I’m proud of. I reverted back to that inadequate feeling when I met Chelsea. I was overwhelmed and when I’m in my dark emotions, I’m negative with myself and others.”

  “At least you understand this,” he said with empathy. “None of that was ever your fault.”

  She glanced up at him and felt like she had to let her heart continue to speak. “I realized what I did to you. I called Beth, my friend at home, who’s the closest thing to family I have. She’s flying to Avce to help me. And she told me to call my therapist, but I wanted to figure this out on my own. I know that I love you because I never cried over Harry, but you? The idea that I’d pushed you away broke my heart.”

  His eyebrows lowered as he nodded. “If you need an in-person therapist, I can get someone here for you to talk to, today.”

  Of course, he could. Blackwell was trying to fix her which was sweet. “That’s supportive. So I’d like to say yes to your marriage proposal but I don’t want to weigh you down with my emotional baggage.”

  He chuckled with relief and took her hand in his lap. “Don’t worry about me. Donna, I want to marry you because you aren’t perfect and don’t expect me to be anything other than myself. I meant it when I said I loved you.”

  The huge wall she had around her heart crumbled down and she swore she could hear the quake as she laughed. “Well, I promise to always love you for yourself if you’ll have me.”

  He jumped off the bed as if scorched from fire. He held a finger. “Have you? Wait. I put the ring in my safe. Give me one minute.”

  He hurried across the room and returned quickly, the diamond he’d chosen for her in his hand. He knelt by the bed and she stood, hoping he’d get up and join her. “Blackwell, you don’t have to get on one knee.”

  He held the ring near her and asked, “Donna Smith, will you marry me?”

  She knelt down so they were on the same level, took the ring in her palm and claimed his lips in a kiss. “Absolutely. I love you.”

  “I love you.” He wrapped his arms around her.

  She’d never expected to feel such happiness—believing in Blackwell was easy. He’d been nothing but perfect. His kiss set off fireworks inside her and she pressed closer.

  Then he took the ring back and slipped it on her finger.

  She laughed as she held it higher to stare at the brilliant stone. She was going to be his wife.

  He stood, grinning. “I’ll send a car to the airport to pick up your friend in the morning. Tonight, I want to spend the evening with you.”

  The bed behind her knee beckoned. Blackwell made her feel whole, and part of her heated at the idea. However, she shook her head. “Okay, but I need a few minutes to unpack and let my insides settle.”

  He stepped back and nodded like he accepted her words without question. But then his face darkened slightly. “What made you be honest with me?”

  Her nerves jumped which sometimes signaled anxiety. She took a deep breath. “I told you. I called Beth.”

  “That’s what I thought.” He nodded and walked to the bedside, where he took out a pen and a piece of paper. He wrote something and handed her the note. “Talk to your therapist now if you’d like. Here is my phone number. If you need me to get you someone here, text me. I’m going to tell my mother to buy Beth a gi
ft—she’s so good at knowing just the right thing.”

  “I want to unpack and really feel like I’m staying here.” Her lips parted as she stared at him with pleased surprise. “Why are you buying Beth a present?” She took the paper, and stuffed it in her pocket next to her phone.

  He winked. “Because I need to impress your family and I owe her my thanks.”

  She had to work on her trust issues. There’d been no reason to feel that rush of panic earlier. “Give me an hour alone?”

  He kissed her cheek, but then changed his mind and kissed her mouth. His lips were hot and branded her. Her heart ached for him to never let her go. Her hands wrapped around his neck, while her fingers curled into his thick hair, and pressed him harder.

  Her body grew weak, and if he wanted her now, she’d say yes.

  However, he let her go. “Sounds perfect.”

  He walked to the door and let himself out.

  She watched his strong backside while lifting one leg on the bed, as he’d done earlier.

  She hadn’t known this sense of belonging in a long time and the last time she felt it, with her grandparents after her parents died, the feeling took years to develop.

  She truly needed to trust. She fished out her phone and stared at Blackwell’s number. She programmed it in first and put him at the top of her favorite list.

  Once she was done, she thought about calling her therapist but put the phone down. She found space in the closet and hangers to put up her black dresses and button down shirts.

  The motion of unpacking helped. She realized that she could clearly still feel the tingle of Blackwell on her lips and her heart settled. She really had agreed to get married.

  This seemed unreal. She hugged her jeans she picked up from her bag. At therapy once, her doctor tried to get her to talk about Harry and relationships, but she brushed off any questions or concerns like he didn’t matter. She stood and took the jeans to the closet. She’d never be able to shrug off Blackwell.

  At her last appointment, Dr. Johnson had encouraged her to yell at a doll pretending to be Harry, but she couldn’t. Donna shook off the thought and tugged her ear. With Blackwell, she broke into a thousand pieces. The idea of him with the beautiful blonde had reminded her of when she’d dropped a Christmas ornament and it had shattered all over the floor, but the ornament was her heart. She’d shared her feelings, and he’d listened with compassion and love. She promised herself to find the positive no matter how out of her element she felt. Blackwell had chosen her, of all the women in the world.

  She hung her jeans and stepped back to observe how well their clothes fit together, they both favored black, which she took as a good sign for their future.

  Donna paced by the huge window that overlooked the garden and the pond from the second floor, her heart leaping to her throat with the realization that she’d grown. She told him her past and it hadn’t destroyed her. And she’d said yes. She was going to marry Blackwell.

  She closed her eyes and let the excitement build as she considered her new future in Avce. She picked up her phone and texted, ‘Blackwell, I’ m ready. I’d like to find someone in Avce to see more often, but not today. Can we take the rowboat out on the pond?’

  ‘On my way, Donna.’ Blackwell answered as if he had his phone in hand.

  She went to her bag and found her charger. It was time to live and for once she was going to! She loved Blackwell.

  From the bathroom, Donna tucked her bra and panties on a shelf and gazed at her naked image in the mirror. The pendant of her flower necklace, white with a yellow center, nestled between her breasts. She smoothed her hand over the curve at her hip, recalling how Blackwell’s eyes would darken with desire whenever he touched her.

  His touch sent a blaze inside her.

  She heard the bedroom door open outside the en suite bathroom and her body energized, recognizing her mate.

  Blackwell called out, “Donna?”

  “One minute,” she answered and braced against the sink, meeting her eyes in the mirror. She felt sensual and decadent and brave.

  He knocked softly against the door. “Should I wait outside?”

  She released her grip on the cool porcelain, the pendant brushing her sensitive flesh. Head high, she walked out completely naked and gave him a slow, suggestive smile. “No. I was getting ready.”

  Part of being brave and independent was being comfortable in her own skin and letting him see her with the light on.

  “I’m clearly overdressed.” He pulled his forest green polo shirt over his shoulders and threw it on the floor, his deep brown eyes turning ebony as he reached for his jeans. She stopped him and unbuttoned his top button. “Yes, you are. I can help.”

  She unzipped and felt the budge in his underwear growing from her simple touch. “You don’t have-”

  “I want to Blackwell,” she interrupted and stripped his pants lower while she caressed his stiff erection. Her pulse zipped. For the rest of the day and her life, she’d show him. Her heart ached to be with him.

  He walked her backwards until the mattress bumped her thigh and he picked her up to put her in the center of the bed. “There is more I want to do to you.”

  “What?” She asked, but then his mouth went lower, down her neck and to her formally hidden parts that she never showed anyone, except in private. Until now.

  “This.” His tongue worked like a magic wand on her skin, waking up every part of her.

  Heat washed out of her body and she reached for the sheets to hold onto as she said, “Mmhmm.”

  She lost all her senses the second he finally pushed inside her. She was his and they both knew it.

  15

  Donna’s stomach churned as she waited on the front step before Woodbridge Hall. Hopefully Beth wouldn’t judge her too harshly for staying with Blackwell last night rather than go to the inn as they’d planned. Crying yesterday to her dearest friend hadn’t been good, though Beth had helped Donna sort out her feelings.

  Finally, a black Rolls Royce turned onto the driveway and Donna took a deep, steadying breath. Beth was here!

  The town car stopped in front of the house and the driver, uniformed in black, hopped out and opened the rear door.

  Donna grinned and hugged Beth tight, grateful that she’d made the long trip. Her dyed blonde to cover the grays, skin wrinkled from the Miami sun, Beth return hug bathed Donna in warmth and love. “Beth, it’s good you’re here.”

  When the hug ended, Donna fixed her purple blouse, tucking it into the black skirt that she used to wear to work. At some point soon, she’d have to shop for clothes as she didn’t plan on going to Miami for her things, and shopping with Beth for new duchess clothes would be fun.

  Beth’s eyes widened as she stared at the house. “Glad you stuck it out here last night and not the inn.”

  “Me too.” She and Blackwell had connected on so many levels that while she was still nervous about becoming a duchess, she had every faith that he would help her learn at his side. Donna walked forward onto the first low white marble step. “Come. I want you to meet Blackwell.”

  Beth followed and took Donna’s arm as they climbed the flat, short steps. Once they reached the front door, Beth tugged her back and whispered, “Why is he not outside with you?”

  Donna smiled at Beth’s protectiveness. “He was, but he just received a phone call. Please give him a chance. I do love him.”

  Beth’s features softened. “Wow. I’m so glad to hear it, honey.”

  The door opened and Blackwell joined them both on the front step. “Donna, I was on my way back out.”

  Donna helped her friend inside as Blackwell held the door. Donna couldn’t stop looking at Blackwell, her heart warming with love. “Who was on the phone?”

  Blackwell’s head lowered and grief flashed across his face. “My friend, Remington Burke, the Earl of Sky. His grandmother is dying and she wants to see me before she goes.”

  She reached out and squeezed Blackwell’s
upper arm. “That’s horrible. I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

  He nodded and met her gaze. “Come with me after lunch? I’m sure Chelsea or her father will be there so we can straighten everything out with her and be in the clear to plan our wedding for whenever you want. I’ll handle the details, so you don’t need to worry about it. As I told you last night, the contract included an exit clause where I pay her a fee, and then we’re done.”

  Sounded easy enough and no emotions were involved on either person’s part. She nodded, but then she turned to her friend. “Beth, do you mind being by yourself for a while this afternoon? There are gardens you will love and the perfect bench for reading beneath a shady tree.”

  “I’ll be fine.” Beth stood back as the driver brought her bags into the house and handed them to the butler.

  Beth, always kind, didn’t even blink that things might be different than in Miami.

  Blackwell focused on Beth with his usual charm. “It is my pleasure to meet you. My mother is hoping you’ll join her for shopping this afternoon while we are gone.”

  A huge grin broke out on her slightly wrinkled but fair face. “I can’t wait to meet your mother. She was so lovely on the phone and I’d love to match a face with her voice.”

  Blackwell turned slightly and motioned through the house and toward the terrace. “Breakfast is al fresco, with a view of the garden. I’ll let Donna show you to your room so that you can freshen up. Once you are finished, please join us.”

  Beth nodded and again took Donna’s arm as she turned toward the long stairwell. However, Donna redirected them to the elevator which was behind the staircase as she knew Beth had trouble with her left knee. The moment the elevator closed, Beth sighed. “Now that is a handsome man, Donna, and he has impeccable manners. He doesn’t sound foreign at all.”

  The elevator climbed as Donna explained, “He was born in Colorado and grew up on a farm.”

  The doors opened to the second floor and Donna led her out of the small elevator and into the white hall with white vaulted ceilings and hardwood floors. “Ah, well that explains it. If I was thirty years younger, I’d go after him myself. How is he in bed?”