by Morgan Rayne
“I’m fine, I just needed some air. Go back in; I’ll be there in a minute.”
“No way, I’m not going inside until you tell me what upset you.” The emotions she was trying hard to keep at bay were threating to come out, but before they could the patio door opened again. The door clicked shut and then someone stood beside the chair a second later.
“Kyle, can you give us a minute?” Stella’s voice was laced with concern as she made the request. “Please”
Kyle looked at her and then back to Lindsay. The questions in his eyes were almost more than she could handle, so she stared at the concrete next to her chair. With a muttered curse he pushed himself to a standing position, and without another word walked inside.
The patio door slammed shut, and she knew he was pissed about her lack of trust in him. Not wanting to upset Stella, Lindsay continued to fix her gaze on the ground to the left of her chair.
“I’m sorry” The apology made Lindsay lift her head and stare at her friend.
“Why are you apologizing?” She should be the one saying sorry for ruining Stella and Alex’s announcement.
“I should have thought about your feelings before I just blurted that out.”
“Stella you didn’t blurt anything, I figured it out. And don’t for one second think that I’m not happy for you. I’m the one that’s sorry; yet again my past ruined a great moment.” Lindsay longed for the day she could act like everyone else and just enjoy life’s little moments.
“You didn’t ruin anything. Kyle and I were the only ones that noticed your exit. When I saw him headed for the door, I thought you may need some support.” Her eyes wandered to the door he slammed shut, and she sighed.
“He’s mad at me” Stella looked at the closed door too and then back to Lindsay.
“Why is he mad?”
“He wanted to know what upset me and I wouldn’t tell him.” How do you tell someone you care about that you are the reason a baby died?
“I can see why he’s mad then. He wants to be with you and you are completely shutting him out.” Lindsay stood and put her hands on her hips in a very defensive way.
“He was the one that said he wouldn’t push me about my past. Now when something happens, I’m supposed to just spill everything. We’ve only been talking for two weeks, which hardly qualifies him to know all my secrets.” Stella stood too.
“I didn’t say that, but if you really do want things to move forward between the two of you, you are going to have to give him something. And don’t give me this two week crap; you’ve known him a lot longer than that.”
“I don’t know if I can. I don’t’ know how to do any of this.” The anger from a minute ago was gone, and now Lindsay just felt defeated.
“I understand if you’re not ready, but things like this are going to keep coming up. He may be trying to be patient now, but eventually his patience will run out. Do you really want to risk losing him when all he wants to do is help?” The thought of not having Kyle in her life left a very unpleasant taste in her mouth.
“No, I don’t.” Lindsay sat back down and looked up at the night sky. “I told him I would try to trust him. I guess I’m failing miserably huh.”
“I think you are doing fine considering all that you’ve been through. You just need to let Kyle be there for you when this kind of thing happens.”
“Let’s go back inside. Hopefully he’s not too pissed off to hear me out.”
“He’ll get over it.” As they walked back into the bar, Lindsay was feeling much better and was ready to explain things to Kyle. As they approached the table, she looked around but didn’t see him anywhere.
“Is Kyle in the bathroom?” Vicki shook her head.
“He came inside and the only thing he said was he had to go. After he threw some money on the table, he started talking to someone on his phone about meeting at his house.” Any calm she had started feeling vanished.
“So much for him getting over it” She said to Stella.
“I forgot what a moody bastard he can be sometimes.” Lindsay wanted to be mad at him for just leaving like that, but she knew she only had herself to blame.
“Would you guys care if I take off? There’s something I need to do.” The sooner she left, the sooner she could make things right between them.
“We will take you home to get your car. There’s no sense in you taking a cab.”
“I don’t want you to cut your night short because of me.” All three of them scoffed at that.
“We can just as easily hang out at our place, so stop being stubborn.” Knowing it was pointless to argue with her friends, Lindsay grabbed her purse and the four of them headed for the door.
Once outside, Vicki went to her car and Lindsay, Stella and Alex piled into his. The street lights passed by in a haze as she stared out the window on the way back to Spring Towers.
Tonight was going to be a test of her newfound strength. Trusting Kyle with her past was not something she planned to do so soon, but it had to be done. That is, if he would even let her explain.
****
Chapter 13
“Man that sucks.” Coop was standing in Kyle’s kitchen listening to him bitch about what happened at the bar.
“I don’t know what to do. I thought I could be with her and not ask question, but when something like this happens…” he hated this feeling of complete helplessness.
“It’s only been two weeks, why not just walk away?”
“It’s not that simple, I’ve liked her a hell of a lot longer than two weeks. Plus I’ll see her all the time; she’s one of Stella’s best friends.” This whole situation was fucked up with no easy way out.
“I don’t know her so it’s hard for me to judge the situation, but from everything you’ve told me I’d say give her some time. If a guy is the one that hurt her, talking to another guy about it can’t be easy.” Cooper was making sense, but it still didn’t make Kyle feel any better.
“Can we talk about something else? Tell me how work is going.”
“It’s alright. They still have the consultant working with me, but I only have to deal with her when the Crush have home games; which thankfully isn’t that often right now.”
“I watched the Arizona game Sunday. You and the other announcer seemed to work well together.” It was still weird seeing his friend on TV, but Coop was doing what he loved and Kyle couldn’t be happier for him.
“Bob’s cool. I like everything about the job except living in a hotel constantly. When we aren’t traveling with the team, I’m still in a hotel because I haven’t had time to search for an apartment here. And I definitely don’t want to live with mom and dad.”
“I know it’s not much, but you can move in here if you want. I have an extra bedroom you’re more than welcome to use. I’m hardly home to do more than sleep myself.” Kyle hadn’t ever thought about a roommate before, but having Cooper move in would be like living with a brother.
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.” Kyle stuck out his hand and they did a half hand shake half hug. “I’ll show you the room and give you a tour of the rest of the house. Come on.” He took Cooper through the living room and down the short hallway. On one side of the hall was Kyle’s room, and on the other side were the spare room and the bathroom.
“So what do you think?”
“It’s perfect. I won’t be here a whole lot myself, so I shouldn’t get in your way too much.” They made their way back into the living room and sat down on the leather couch. Kyle turned on the TV and started flipping through the channels.
“You won’t be in the way period.”
“Thanks for this. Staying in a hotel is one thing, but living in one sucks.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll give you a key later and you can move in whenever you want.” Kyle pressed the numbers for ESPN, and they started talking back and forth about how the baseball season was going so far this year. The reporter on the screen was recapping the da
y’s scores when there was a knock at the front door.
“Were you expecting someone?”
“No, it’s probably my neighbor. She’s ninety and always thinks she smells smoke, so she has me check it out.” Cooper laughed.
Kyle opened the door expecting to see Mrs. York, but was surprised to find Lindsay standing there rocking from foot to foot. “What are you doing here?”
“I need to talk to you, can I come in?” He didn’t know if it was something good or bad she wanted to talk about, but he stepped aside and let her in.
She barely made it two feet inside the door, when Coop introduced himself. “You must be Lindsay; it’s nice to meet you. I’m Cooper Wilde.”
“Lindsay Pierce. It’s nice to meet you too. Sorry if I interrupted, I can come back another time if you two are busy.”
“I was just heading out actually. Kyle, I’ll call you tomorrow and bring my stuff over, if that’s cool with you.”
He grabbed one of his spare keys from the hook by the door and handed it to Cooper. “No need to call. That key works on both doors. If I’m not here, just let yourself in.”
“Thanks. Have a good night.” Coop headed out the back, and as the door closed behind him Kyle reluctantly turned to face Lindsay.
“Do you want something to drink?” Lindsay shook her head as she looked around his living room. This was the first time she had been to his house and he knew it was a wreck.
“Don’t mind the mess, I wasn’t expecting company.” There was no question that he needed to clean up. His place screamed bachelor pad. Her only response was a whispered ‘it’s fine’. For someone that needed to talk she wasn’t saying much, and Kyle couldn’t take the suspense any longer.
“So…what did you want to talk to me about?” At first he didn’t think she heard him, but when she moved to the couch and motioned for him to sit too he realized she had.
“We need to talk about why you left the bar earlier.”
“If you’re here to tell me what an ass I am, you can save it; I already know that.”
“I’m not mad. I understand why you did.”
“You do?” This was not the direction her saw this conversation going.
“Yes, I told you I would try to trust you and then I completely shut you out. I’m sorry.”
“I thought I could handle not knowing, but it turns out I was fooling myself. When I see you upset I want to help, but when you won’t let me in it makes it difficult.”
She raised her eyes and he was once again reminded just how beautiful she really was. “That’s why I’m here. Stella made me realize that if I want this to work that I need to trust you and open up.”
“So you’re not here to break up with me?” She gave him a sad smile.
“I thought you leaving earlier meant you were done with me.” Now he felt like an even bigger ass. He never wanted Lindsay to have this look of sadness on her face, so he picked up her hand and kissed the tips of her fingers.
“Leaving was selfish of me, I’m sorry I made you feel like that.”
“You have nothing to apologize for.” Her free hand came up to caress his cheek. “I came over because I’m ready to tell you what you want to know.”
“I don’t want you to do this because you feel pressured.” Lindsay kept her hand where it was and looked him straight in the eye.
“I don’t. I’m doing this because I want you to know.” The conviction behind her words was all the reassurance he needed.
“If you’re sure, then I’m ready to hear it.” Her hand slid from his face and he immediately missed the warmth. She removed her other hand from his and pushed off the couch to stand. “Where are you going?”
“I might as well stand now because once I start, I won’t be able to sit still.” This was her story to tell, so he sat back and shut his mouth; and waited for her to begin. He could tell she was nervous to start, but thankfully she did.
“Imagine this…a young twenty-one year old woman who has recently lost both of her parents, stopped going to college, and completely withdrew from life. She finally starts to get her life back and meets the towns golden boy at a party.
“He calls all the time, visits as much as possible when he’s on leave from the fire academy, and says he loves her. This lost girl thinks she’s found her prince charming and someone to replace the love she lost.
“However, this prince turned out to be more of a dragon in disguise. He moved home and started controlling every part of her life. At first it was just name calling and put downs, but turned to hitting, punching and kicking not long after.”
Kyle listened as Lindsay told the story as if it was someone else’s life. Some messed up fairy tale that he knew didn’t have a happy ending. He wanted her to stop, but she was so lost in the memories she probably wouldn’t hear him.
“That went on for almost three years. By that time, she had become distant from her friends and everyone around town knew what was happening. A week before her twenty-fourth birthday, she found out she was pregnant.”
Lindsay paused and locked her eyes with Kyle; he could see the tears forming and wanted to wipe them away. The lack of child in her life now made Kyle force down the bile that was trying to rise in his throat.
“Lindsay you don’t have to do this, I can fill in the blanks. You really don’t have to put yourself through this.”
She shook her head and continued. “Of course he blamed her and said she did it on purpose; that she just wanted his money. He didn’t hit that day, but instead left and came back a short time later with a teddy bear and said he was happy.
“For two months everything was great. Things were how a relationship should be. Until they went to the annual ice cream social and he saw her talking to another guy. He convinced himself that a simple conversation between friends meant they were sleeping together.
A cold chill rocketed through Kyle’s body. He could only imagine the kind of reaction a person like that would have to seeing his girlfriend talking to someone else.
“They left immediately. When they got home, he proceeded to beat her so severely she had a broken arm, broken ribs, fractured skull, and lost her baby when he stabbed her in the stomach and pushed her down the stairs.”
Kyle refused to stay sitting down any longer. He pulled Lindsay into his arms and never wanted to let her go. How could someone treat another person so horribly? Someone they supposedly loved and was the mother of their child.
Kyle felt something on his cheek and when he lifted a hand to see what it was, he realized he was crying. Lindsay leaned back and looked up at him.
“I don’t like this story” was the only thing he could think to say.
“I’m afraid it gets worse before it gets better.”
“Before you continue, can we sit down?” She gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked back toward the couch. He sat down first and pulled her onto his lap. “I want you with me.”
Lindsay didn’t try to get up, but did move so she was more comfortable. After finding a position that worked for them both, Lindsay picked up the story where she left off.
“He left me at the bottom of the stairs unconscious and bleeding, and after placing the knife next to my body he fled the scene. Luckily, my friend Jessie came by to check on me a short time later and found me. I was in a coma for almost a month.”
“Did you remember what happened when you woke up?” Kyle could feel the tension in her body.
“Yes, to this day I can still remember it in vivid detail.”
“What happened when you woke up?”
“They found him that night at his parents. He was questioned and arrested, but they only charged him with aggravated assault. He told them I had the knife and they weren’t able to prove otherwise. He was in jail the whole time I was in the hospital, but eventually got let out on bail and came after me again.
“I was at Jessie’s when it happened. She called the cops, and when they showed up it scared him off before he could get to me.
They searched the area, but never found him. That’s when I decided to pack up and leave town.”
“Where did you go?”
“A couple different places; I would start feeling like someone was watching me and move on. When I reached Chicago a year and a half later, I finally felt safe enough to stay.” Kyle sat in awe of the remarkable woman that was on his lap.
“I’m glad you did.”
Lindsay smiled. “Me too. I hope you can understand now why you of all people freaked me out. I haven’t had the best experience with firemen before.”
The fury raging inside of Kyle was making it hard for him to think straight, but he got some words out. “We will disagree, we will argue, but don’t think for one second I will raise a hand to you.”
She laid her head on his shoulder. “I know that. I don’t know how, but I do.”
“Good.” Kyle placed a kiss to her forehead. “So you have all those gadgets I saw for safety?”
She nodded. “Heavy duty locks for the windows and doors, and a special alarm. If he somehow finds me I don’t want to be caught off guard.”
Thinking about the danger she could still be in made it hard for Kyle to catch his breath. “Am I squashing you?”
“What?”
“You’re breathing really hard.” Kyle took a second and got himself back in control before responding.
“No, you’re not. I was just thinking about everything. Does anyone from your past know where you are?”
“My friend Jessie knows the city, but not an exact location. We communicate through a P.O. Box I rent. I check it once a week, waiting to hear if there are any updates; there aren’t.”
“How can someone just disappear like that?” Kyle had enough experience around crime to know you needed money, and lots of it to stay hidden.
“The police have no way to prove it, but they think his parents are getting him money somehow.”
“How could they do that after what he did to you?” Kyle wanted to go to wherever these people were and tie them to a chair until they told him where their son was.
“They have money and never liked me. When the police arrested Mitch, that’s his name by the way, his parents refused to believe he did it. They were the ones to bail him out and then when he tried to come after me, they said I was making the whole thing up.”