A Soldier's Roots

by Tessa Elaine

  When I enlisted with the military, it wasn't just to escape small-town life. I wanted a career to take care of my Mama and my little sister. I wanted my mother to take it easy and Lex to focus on school.

  Mama’s house is right inside of town. It’s a small two-bedroom house that is at the end of a cul-de-sac. Mama gave both of us the rooms while she used to sleep on the couch. The woman always put us before herself. She didn’t take her own room until I left for the military.

  Every time I come back to this house, it feels like home.

  I wish my small cabin in the woods felt like this. It feels more like isolation, a place to withdraw from the real world. The place I go at the end of every day to hide and lick my wounds. It’s hard to trust those around you when they have no idea what you have gone through, or what you’re still going through.

  It’s my safe place, but at the same time, it’s my own personal hell. Leaving me feeling detached from those around me, unable to live a full life. Never knowing what will trigger an episode. Until I figure it out or get it under control, I keep my distance.

  Walking up to the old house my mouth starts to water from the smell coming from it. Mama’s cooking always hits the spot. As I open the front door, my sister comes flying out.

  “Where’s the fire?” I ask. Lexington stops dead in her tracks and laughs.

  “Shit, Wyatt. I’m sorry.”

  “Language,” our mother yells from the kitchen and we both laugh.

  “So, what's up, smalls?” Lexington punches my shoulder and narrows her eyes at her favorite nickname.

  “You know how much I hate that name.”

  “But it suits you.”

  My little sister is about five foot one and looks just like mama. Long black hair, caramel skin, and deep brown eyes. She just turned eighteen, and I feel like I should drive her everywhere with a loaded shotgun.

  As a car pulls into the drive, my sister runs back in the house. “Forgot my purse,” she calls over her shoulder.

  I look behind me, and my heart almost stops. Sarah Wayne is parked in my Mama’s drive. She’s looking at me like she either wants to kiss me or choke me. I never realized what a fine line that was. I don’t blame her for wanting to choke me; I have been blowing her off and avoiding her at all cost.

  “Wyatt,” she says after rolling down her window.

  It's the only greeting I get, but my name rolling off her lips sends a shiver down my spine. The things this woman can do to me from just being in her presence.

  “Sarah, what are you doing here?”

  “Lexington asked if I could take her dress shopping for the dance at school.” Sarah is one of the sweetest girls I know. Mama said her, and Lex got close after I deployed.

  “You don’t have to do that.” Wow, I sound like an ass.

  “I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to,” she says pointedly. “But Elena and I are going to look at dresses for this weekend. Lexington mentioned at school that she hasn’t found a dress yet, so I asked her to come along.”

  Oh yeah, she works at my sister's high school as a guidance counselor.

  “How’s the new job,” I ask walking over to the car. Leaning down with my arms resting on the window, we are only inches apart.

  “It’s a change; going from little kids to teens is quite the adjustment.” Her eyes never leave mine, and my body feels the pull.

  I start to lean closer to her, needing to be in her light. Her breath hitches, and I see her pulse point beat faster; her heart is racing as fast as mine. A car door slams and I look behind Sarah to see Lex looking at me with raised brows. We both jump apart like we have been caught with our pants down.

  Clearing her throat, she starts her car and puts it in reverse. “Good to see you, Wyatt.” And she’s pulling away from me, taking that light I long to be a part of with her.

  I turn around to walk into the house and see my Mama standing at the door with her arms crossed, she has a sad smile on her face. I just shake my head and walk up to hug her and kiss her on the cheek.

  “At least come inside so I can feed you.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” I never turn down food.

  Chapter 2

  Sarah

  What was I thinking letting him get that close, breathing him in like that? All I could smell was cedar and his own masculine scent. My heart is still racing from having him so close. Why do I let that man get under my skin the way he does?

  God, he looked good. Wyatt is tall and solid all over. Wide shoulders that lead to a trim waist. His jacket did nothing to hide his muscular physique. I can just imagine his arms, corded with muscle, covered in tattoos. He is the sexiest man I have ever seen.

  Tall, dark, and handsome is an understatement. Deep brown eyes that I get lost in every time I look into them. Carmel skin that I want to run my hands all over.

  I am so over this. I should be thinking about Brad, not Wyatt. Brad is cute and smart, and he has a good job. With his suit and tie, his blond hair, and blue eyes. He’s always dressed to impress.

  Brad Thompson and I grew up in this small town. In school, he never looked at me twice, but almost a month ago I went into the bank to talk about a loan and there Brad was. He was so charming and said all the right things. At first, I wanted to dismiss his flirting.

  It’s hard to date when you have been in love with the same guy your entire life.

  I made a promise to myself a year ago, when I practically threw myself at Wyatt and was rejected so fast my head spun. It was time to move on and get over this childhood crush for a man that never wanted me. I tried to date a couple of times, but living in this small town and knowing everyone, it wasn't easy. I even tried to go to the town over for a blind date that one of my coworkers set me up on. That was a bad idea, to say the least.

  Guys are all the same. If I’m not down on my hands and knees by the second date, with my butt in the air, and ready for him to mount me like a dog in heat, they usually find someone else to stick their wick in.

  I let out a frustrated sigh and hang the dress back on the rack. I have looked all over this store for the last hour and can’t find anything. I might head over to the little boutique across from the diner when we leave here. Maybe Elena and Lexington are having the same luck I am.

  “Earth to Sarah, are you listening to a word I’ve said?” I look up to see Lexington standing on the other side of the clothing rack looking at me like I have officially lost it.

  “Sorry, what were you saying?” I ask.

  “Are you okay?” a look of concern crossing her face.

  Lexington and I have grown close in the last several of years. It might go against the school handbook to hang out with a student after school hours, but I’ve known Lex all her life. I would go visit and check in on her and Donna, her mother, while Wyatt was deployed. I felt like they needed someone there for them while he was gone. But maybe it was me that needed them.

  It always made me feel closer to Wyatt when I was with them. I know it sounds desperate and stupid, but I would take every piece of him I could get.

  “Yeah, I’m good. Just tired, long day and all.” I wave off her concern. “Is that the one?” I ask pointing at the dress she's holding.

  She beams at me and holds the dress up to her body. “What do you think?” she asks, doing a little dance.

  “It’s beautiful, try it on.”

  Elena walks up, and we both follow her to the dressing room. While Lex is changing Elena and I sit and wait. I can feel her eyes burning a hole right through me.

  “Say it,” I tell her.

  I know Elena has something on her mind; she just needs to stop walking on eggshells with me. I forgave her for leaving. I can’t stay mad at her when I have never seen my brother this happy, and that is all because of her.

  When Elena came back to town, I was a little angry with her for running off and leaving me without a word. Honestly, I can’t even begin to know what she went through. That was one of the reasons my anger slowl
y resolved. But the other is how happy she and Lucas are. She deserves to be happy after everything she lost.

  “How are things with Brad?” She has her hands in her lap, picking at her cuticles.

  “Fine,” I answer.

  “Just fine?” She looks up at me a little confused.

  “Yes, things are fine, Elena.” I don’t know what she wants me to say.

  Things seem to be going fine. Brad and I have the same schedule. Most nights I have dinner at his place, or we go out to eat. On the weekends he has plans with his friends. Poker night, or some other excuse. I spend my weekend sitting at home reading. Lame, I know. I’m 25 years old and have the life of an old lady. My wine and romance novels have become my best friend.

  With Elena back in my life, I have had a girl’s night out a couple times, but Lucas always seems to interrupt that. The guy can’t go more than a few hours without her. Even when he’s at work, she has lunch with him almost every day. I don’t blame him; he did go seven years without her. But coming into the bar, throwing her over his shoulder and walking out seems a little much. Maybe I just envy what they have and wish a man wanted me like that.

  “Is he coming to the wedding shower with you this weekend?” Elena seems a little hesitant.

  “So far, yes. Unless something comes up. Why?”

  “You haven’t told Lucas who you are dating, and you guys have been together for a month. I’m surprised the town gossip hasn’t gotten back to him.”

  I know I put her in an awkward position by asking her not to tell Lucas about Brad and me. I know my brother, and he has never liked Brad. I have no idea why, but they didn’t get along in school. I just needed time to see if this would work with Brad and me before I told everyone. No need in getting my head bit off for nothing if it didn’t last. Right?

  “Well, it looks like everyone will find out this weekend.” I know I’m being selfish, dropping this on everyone at her wedding shower. But what choice do I have? There is no way my brother would make a scene at the shower, Elena would kill him.

  “And what about Wyatt?” That has my head jerking to look at her.

  “What about Wyatt?” Who I date is none of Wyatt’s business.

  “Sarah, you can hide it from everyone else, but I know you, and I know how you feel about him. How he feels about…” I cut her off there.

  “My dating life is none of Wyatt’s concern and don’t even start with that. I know where Wyatt and I stand. He bangs his way through town, and I’m his best friends annoying little sister. That’s it. Drop it, Elena.”

  “I’m sorry; I just want you to be happy.” I feel a little bad for snapping at her. But Elena has always thought Wyatt felt the same for me as I did for him. She was wrong.

  “No, I’m the one that’s sorry. It’s been a long day, and I’m snippy. Want to get a coffee and head to the boutique after this. I didn’t find anything I like here.”

  “Sounds perfect,” she says and smiles at me.

  Lexington walks out and does a little spin in front of Elena and me. She looks stunning. She picked out a vintage A-line mid dress, sleeveless, with a lace decoration over a beautiful purple. It was perfect with her black hair and her tan complexion. Lexington has turned into a gorgeous young lady. It's crazy to think that she just turned eighteen and will be graduating high school this year.

  Elena is up out of her seat and making her do another spin telling her how lovely she looks. And all I can do is sit here with a big smile on my face. She really is lovely, inside, and out.

  “Sarah, what do you think?” Lexington asks me.

  “It’s perfect, hon.” She gives me a big smile and runs back into the dressing room to change, and then we head over to find her the perfect shoes.

  The rest of our shopping day goes great, I feel a lot better after I’ve had my coffee and I end up finding a beautiful dress for the party. I wanted to kick myself in the butt while I was trying it on. The first thought I had was ‘I wonder if Wyatt will like this color.’ Ugh! What is wrong with me?

  All three of us end up at the diner for dinner, I start feeling a lot better about my life. Maybe I'm not the loser that sits at home and has no friends.

  As soon as our food arrives my phone goes off, and I answer without even looking to see who it is.

  “Hello”

  “Sarah, where the hell are you?” Brad shouts.

  I reach my finger up and turn the volume down, so they won't hear him, but Elena already did. Brad has become a little more possessive over the last few weeks. He says it makes him feel better if he knows where I am, so he knows I’m safe. I have been trying to convince myself that he's just worried about me.

  “I’m at the diner having dinner with Elena and Lexington.”

  “You didn’t tell me you were going out tonight. I’m sitting here at your house with dinner and guess who isn't here?” What has crawled up his butt?

  “Brad, we went shopping and worked up an appetite, we just walked over to the diner for a quick bite. I didn’t know you were coming over.” I feel my face start to heat. I know what Elena and Lex are thinking, listing to me explain myself to Brad.

  “I didn’t know I needed permission to have dinner with my girlfriend. Is that what I need to do, Sarah? Ask you for permission before I buy you dinner or show up at your house. Do you need a heads up, so you can make sure the other guy is out before I get there?” Has he lost his mind?

  “Brad, what other guy? What are you talking about?” This is crazy and super embarrassing.

  “Just get your ass home, Sarah; I won't wait all night for you.” The line goes dead, and I just sit there stunned staring at my phone. What in the name of all that is holy just happened?

  “Everything okay, Sarah?” Lexington pulls me out of my trance.

  I clear my head and look up to see Elena giving me a look I know all too well. She wants to know why I just sat there and let him talk to me that way. Maybe he had a long day at work and just wants to spend time with me. I wasn’t home, and he's stuck outside on my porch. I’m sure by the time I get home he will have calmed down.

  “Yeah, I forgot Brad, and I were supposed to have dinner together. I’m sorry I have to go ladies. Today was fun. Lex, you want me to drop you off at home?” Elena stands with me and hugs me tight.

  “I will take her home after we eat. How about we do lunch tomorrow?” Elena asks.

  “What about Lucas, won’t he be mad you missed lunch with him?” I ask, laughing at my soon to be sister-in-law.

  “I have ways of making it up to him.” She smiles at me.

  “Gross, you can keep all that to yourself.” I wave my hand in her direction and cringe.

  Lexington and Elena both laugh at me as I start to pull out some money for the food I won’t be eating, but Elena stops me.

  “I got it, just do me a favor and call me when you get home.” She gives me a serious look, and I just nod my head. There is no reason to argue with her.

  Driving back to my place is kind of a blur. I know it's not safe, but my head is somewhere else. I keep going over the phone call with Brad. He seems a little off lately. It started out with small stuff. Don’t wear that. Why are you going there? You didn’t tell me you were leaving. Why do you read this drivel? I have no idea how a relationship works so maybe it's just me. Maybe this is how couples are.

  Thinking about my mom and dad’s relationship, I have never seen either of them question each other like that. My dad would give my mother anything she asked for, most of the time he knows what she needs before she does. Mom and dad have everything I hope to have in a relationship.

  I pull into my driveway and realize I have no idea how I made it here. I’m in my own head so much I spaced out the whole drive, that’s not good.

  I live in a small two-bedroom house right off the main strip of town. It's close to the school, and the coffee shop is on my way to work. It needs a little work, but I fell in love with it the first time I saw it. It has blue siding that could use
a fresh coat of paint. The inside needs the appliances updated. The appliances and the wallpaper are from the seventies. It’s an older house, and a lot of people think it just needed to be demolished. But I grew up watching my dad take old rundown houses and turn them into homes. I want to make this one mine and do it all on my own.

  When I step out of the car, I see Brad stand up from where he was sitting on my steps. He looks pissed. I have never seen him with that much anger in his eyes. He is always so calm and laid back. He has a look of disgust on his face. I look down at his hands then at the steps where he was sitting, there is no dinner.

  “I thought you brought dinner?” I ask, walking up to the house.

  “It’s in the trash,” he says a little too sharp. “You could have eaten if you weren't out being a trollop.” I freeze with the keys in the lock, asking myself if I heard him right.

  “Excuse me?” I turn around slowly, not unlocking my door.

  Brad grabs my upper arm and squeezes tight. I squeak and go still. Completely unsure of what's going on.

  “Who is he, who were you really out with, Sarah.” Spit flies out of his mouth, he’s seething mad.

  I try to pull away, but he just holds on tighter. I know there will be a bruise tomorrow.

  “Brad, let go, you're hurting me.” He doesn’t take his hands away he just looks down at me with eyes I have never seen.

  “Who the fuck is he, Sarah? You're not fucking me so whose dick are you sucking?” You have got to be kidding me.

  “I’m not sleeping with anyone, Brad. I told you I went dress shopping with Elena and Lexington, and then we went for dinner.” Why do I feel like I owe him an explanation?

  “You think I’m just going to take your word for it. We have been together a month, and you still won't fuck me. So, you have to be sleeping with someone else, who the fuck is he?”

  I’m starting to panic at this stranger that has me pinned against my door, squeezing my arm so hard I can’t feel my fingers. Brad is not the guy I thought he was. I reach behind me and slowly turn the key to unlock my door. Brad doesn't notice, he's too busy calling me every name in the book. When the door is unlocked I raise my knee and hit him right where it counts.