Bad Mermaids Make Waves

by Sibéal Pounder

  “I bet we find our parents in Anchor Rock,” Zelda said, nudging Mimi.

  “Hopefully not dead,” Mimi added.

  Zelda flopped in the back seat. “Ugh, why would you say that? You are such a pain in my fin some times!” A crab from the hairdresser’s, which had stowed away in the back seat, latched a clipper onto her tail. “Ow!” she screamed. “Actual pain in my fin! ACTUAL PAIN IN MY FIN!”

  CLAMZINE

  GODA GAR

  GODA GAR HAS been chosen to rule over Anchor Rock, the most mysterious of all the Lagoon’s regions. A follower of fin-fu, Goda Gar is the SHOAL member we know the least about.

  NAME: Goda Gar.

  RULER OF: Anchor Rock.

  STYLE SIGNIFIER: Her special bird brooch.

  FAVORITE PLACE IN ANCHOR ROCK: Her yacht—especially the deck, where she can practice fin-fu.

  TOP TIP WHEN VISITING ANCHOR ROCK: Take a trip to the fin-fu master’s house, where you can sip warm foam broth and meet the fin-fu master, Mirabel, herself.

  MOST LIKELY TO SAY: “And that’s the truth.”

  24

  To Anchor Rock

  The route to Anchor Rock was the most straight-forward of all the journeys you could make in the Lagoon. There was no shell-studded highway, like the one that connected Swirlyshell and Lobstertown, no crystal tunnel or kelp forest, just a stream of clear water through a deep and deserted canyon. Yet very few mermaids from Swirlyshell or anywhere else in the Lagoon made the trip to Anchor Rock. It was colder up there, with straight-talking mermaids and myths that those who knew them only dared to whisper. Like the one about the mermaid who cursed you if you whispered.

  To Beattie’s left, she could just make out the rugged caves and in the distance the ghostly bow of the Merry Mary. Jellyfish bobbed in large clumps outside it. Not a single mermaid had ever ventured inside. Beattie’s mom had gotten close once, but then she’d met Steve and gotten distracted.

  Beattie pulled the lever above her head and the clam car shot forward and through the city’s stylish gates, past the Anchor Rock sign, which was crowned with the original anchor the city was named after. The anchor had once belonged to the Merry Mary, or so Beattie had heard. Beyond the sign sat a gigantic steel structure known as Anchor Avenue, with tree like coral lining the sides. Off the avenue were old shipping containers and small sunken ships, dragged to the depths by mermaids who had dared to travel to the Upper Realms.

  A smartly dressed mermaid with a shimmering tail floated past on an old, bent bicycle pulled by an eel in a shell tank top. He ducked between two ancient wooden boats when he saw a clump of piranhas swimming past.

  “That’s it, I think,” Beattie said, pointing at a large yacht in the distance. “And that must be her.”

  A mermaid with perfect silver hair tied in a plait above her head was floating on the star board side looking stern.

  Zelda pulled out the Clamzine she’d taken from Silvia Snapp’s sand castle. “That’s her all right. And look,” she said, tapping the tiny brooch Goda Gar was wearing in the picture. “A swan.”

  Mimi and Beattie looked at each other.

  “A swan!” Zelda cried. “That proves it!”

  “Zelda,” Beattie said slowly, inspecting the magazine. “That’s an ostrich.”

  “Oh, right,” Zelda said, taking a closer look. “Are they different?”

  Steve opened the false teeth and poked his head out. “I can’t believe you’re reading that Clamzine when a brand-new issue has been stuck to the back window for hours.”

  “What?!” Beattie cried as she shot out of the car and grabbed it.

  CLAMZINE

  BELINDA SHELTON SEARCHES FOR THE CROCODILE KINGDOM IN UPPER REALM 5 AND MAKES HER MOST INCREDIBLE DISCOVERY YET

  Deep in the waters of Upper Realm 5, there are all sorts of new wonders to discover. And there is Swamp Eye, a rare and itchy eye infection, which I currently have.

  The water is murky here and the crocodiles are friendly enough. I discovered a strange shell-studded arch deep in one of the canyons, but I couldn’t reach it; the crocodiles surrounded me and forced me back up to the surface. It is the most convincing evidence I’ve come across that the hidden mermaid Crocodile Kingdom really exists.

  I also tried shouting, “HELLO, LET ME IN PLEASE.” But no luck.

  That’s when I heard a voice. I turned to see a mermaid wearing a lace veil, her tail covered in shells. But the most astonishing thing was the traditional shell top she was wearing on her face, as if it was a pair of sunglasses.

  SHE WAS WEARING THE RUSTER SHELLS.

  It was the original top! I could tell because the shells nearly blinded me.

  She disappeared before I could speak to her or find out who she was. I am convinced she was a Crocodile Kingdom mermaid. It can’t be Mary Ruster, because she’s dead.

  TOP TIP WHEN TRAVELING TO THE AREA:

  Leave your eyes at home, unless you want to get Swamp Eye.

  NEXT STOP: Viper view Prison, Upper Realm 1

  Beattie stared blankly at the article. “My mom saw a mermaid from the Crocodile Kingdom wearing the Ruster Shells.”

  “Oh yes, the shells Mary Ruster wore that put every one in a trance in the Year of the Pufferfish,” Mimi said airily.

  “Pardon, what?” Beattie said. “A trance?”

  “The Ruster Shells are magic,” Mimi said.

  “Magic?” Zelda said. “What are we—witches?”

  “No, they look different,” Steve said.

  “Everyone who does fin-fu knows the legend of the Ruster Shells,” Mimi said. “Mary Ruster, the mermaid who owned the Ruster Shells, was really good at fin-fu. I mentioned it not so long ago when we were on the Crabbyshell Highway, when you read the article about mermaid tops, Beattie. Then Zelda shouted some thing and grabbed my binoculars.”

  “Wait, explain to me exactly what the legend of the Ruster Shells is,” Beattie said.

  “Mary Ruster was one clumsy mermaid,” Mimi began. “She was always breaking and sinking things, like the time she sank the Merry Mary by accident. It was that very day that she found two magic shells with crocodiles carved on them. They were wedged in one of the masts.”

  “I’ve never heard so much nonsense in all my life!” Zelda said with a snort.

  Mimi stuck her nose in the air and continued. “My fin-fu master, Mirabel, says that according to the legend, Mary Ruster didn’t know the shells were magic. She just thought they would make an excellent shell top, and she was having a summer ball in the palace that they would be just perfect for. On the night of the ball, she glided into the room wearing the shells and—”

  Steve gasped. “Oh, sorry,” he said. “Too early. Keep going.”

  Mimi lowered her voice to a whisper. “And all the mermaids fell into a trance.”

  “A trance?” Zelda said mockingly.

  “It took her years to figure out why all the mermaids were being so weird and doing everything she said,” Mimi continued, with a casual shrug. “So to protect the Lagoon from the strange shells, which became known as the Ruster Shells, she hid them some where secret and safe, and they haven’t been seen since.”

  “So she just pointed these ‘magic’ shells at the mermaids and it put them in a trance?” Zelda asked.

  Mimi cracked her knuckles and did a little fin-fu chop with her finger. “Most mermaids who know the story of the Ruster Shells believe it had some thing to do with the shell tops they all wore back then. Mermaids were made to wear the same thing in those days. It’s not like today, when we can wear whatever we think is nice—shoulder pads, Clippee tees, small shells, big shells. Apparently, there was only one mermaid at the ball who wasn’t put in a trance and that was actress Maisie Swimple, who was wearing forty-nine glittered shrimp as part of a costume for the entertainment section of the ball.”

  Some fish swam in and out of Beattie’s gaping mouth.

  “Well, there you go,” Zelda said. “Proof that you should always be free to wear whate
ver you want, even if what you want to wear is glittered shrimp.”

  “And Mary Ruster had a pet dolphin called Mr. Bottle,” Mimi added, “which is a fact about her that I’ve always liked.”

  Beattie looked from the article to Mimi and back again. “That’s it, Mimi! THAT’S WHY EVERYONE HAS TO MAKE THOSE SHELL TOPS FOR THE SWAN! They’re going to put every single mermaid in a trance.”

  “Oh come on, Beattie,” Zelda said. “The Ruster Shells? It’s just a story. It’s as real as Clippee the cartoon lobster in a dress.”

  “CLIPPEE IS REAL, YOU MONSTER!” Steve screamed.

  “What if it’s not a silly story,” Beattie said urgently. “What if The Swan is trying to recreate what happened all those years ago. What if the Ruster Shells are really back?”

  They turned to look at Goda Gar in the distance.

  “If you’re right,” Zelda said slowly, “then that mermaid over there has managed to fishnap Arabella Cod and find the most dangerous and well-hidden shells in Lagoon history . . . And we’re about to go and spy on her with nothing but Mimi’s cobbled-together binoculars and a yappy sea horse.”

  25

  Goda Gar’s Yacht House

  The four of them swam fast, winding in and out of the boats and shipping containers. When they got to Goda Gar’s grand yacht they pasted them selves flat against the side of it.

  “We need to find a way in,” Beattie whispered.

  Zelda tried to open one of the large porthole windows. It didn’t budge. She hit it.

  An alarm sounded. Beattie glared at her.

  “What?” Zelda huffed. “Who puts an alarm on a sunken yacht?”

  “You there!” Goda Gar cried. “What are you doing?”

  Mimi pointed at the window and was about to explain they were trying to spy, but Beattie pushed her out of the way before she could say anything, frantic ally lunged forward, plucked Steve from where he was floating and yelled, “WE’RE SELLING TALKING SEA HORSES.” She held him up.

  “Talking sea horses?” Goda Gar said, an eyebrow raised.

  “How much?”

  “Only fifty clatters!” Beattie cheered.

  “FIFTY CLATTERS?” Steve scoffed.

  “One hundred clatters!” Beattie said, looking at Steve for approval. Steve shook his head.

  “Seriously?” Beattie whispered.

  “A hundred clatters is a lot.”

  “For a—miracle?” Steve asked grandly.

  “It’s just so she lets us in, Steve,” Beattie hissed. “It’s not really what I think you’re worth. I’m not going to say a ridiculous number like—”

  “ONE TRILLION CLATTERS!” Steve said, doing his best Beattie impression.

  Zelda shook her head. “Can’t believe you still have that thing.”

  Mimi looked at him. “I didn’t realize you were so expensive. I think it’s because you sleep in false teeth.”

  “IT’S A BEDROOM!” Steve roared.

  Goda Gar floated through the dark glass cabin and opened a door for them on the back deck. “Come on in,” she said with a grimace.

  Goda Gar’s yacht was very chic. It had long benches with simple seaweed cushions, a huge bar shaped like an oyster shell, and a viewing deck that looked out across Anchor Rock, all the way south to the spires of Swirlyshell.

  “I’ll get us some Kelpskey,” Goda Gar said, before quickly disappearing into another room.

  The three of them, and Steve, sat in silence.

  “I’m scared,” Zelda eventually whispered to Mimi. “What if she’s going to get a weapon?”

  “She said she was going to get Kelpskey,” Mimi replied casually, staring blankly ahead.

  “She could be making it up!” Zelda said. “She could be perfecting a recipe to make the three of us into fish soup. With sea horse croutons!”

  “Shhh,” Beattie pleaded. “She might hear you.”

  “Hear you?” Goda Gar said as she appeared behind them, making the four of them SCREAM. She plunked down a tray of Kelpskey drinks, which made them SCREAM again.

  “I get the impression you’re scared of me,” she said.

  “Zelda is,” Mimi said.

  “I’m not!” Zelda protested.

  “We’re not scared,” Beattie said. “We’re simple talking-sea-horse sales men.” She shook her head when she realized how stupid it sounded.

  “And you’re from around here, are you?” Goda Gar said, pointing at their tails. Most of the mermaids in Anchor Rock had gray tails with a sparkly edge.

  “We moved here a long time ago, from Swirlyshell,” Beattie lied. “And set up our talking-sea-horse business. It’s booming.”

  “Is that so,” Goda Gar said, staring at Beattie. She had an intimidating stare—like her pale gray eyes could see right through you.

  Beattie cleared her throat. “Were you planning to meet with Arabella Cod on the day she went missing, but she didn’t show up?”

  “It’s a question we always ask,” Zelda added quickly, “when selling talking sea horses . . .”

  “Are you trying to figure out what happened to Arabella Cod?” Goda Gar asked.

  They all held their breath.

  This is it, Beattie thought. We’re dead fish.

  Goda Gar wriggled in between them. “Because I’ve been trying to figure it out too.”

  Beattie noticed Goda Gar didn’t have the SHOAL stamp on her hand.

  “What happened that day?” Beattie asked.

  “Well,” Goda Gar began, “I said I’d meet Arabella Cod at Eely Good Fashions. I had to be there all after noon anyway, to sign eel tank tops, you see. I waited for hours. When she didn’t arrive, I swam to the palace to see what was going on. I was a little angry she’d forgot ten about me. Mermaids in Swirlyshell are always forgetting about us up here in the north. But when I arrived at the palace everyone was gone, so I turned and went straight back. I spotted Liberty Ling on the way home, with a large whale. I told her every one was missing from the palace, and about Arabella Cod. I told her to watch out.”

  “In the after noon?” Beattie asked. “With a whale?”

  “Yes, a whale, in the after noon,” Goda Gar said with a nod. “She’s from Lobstertown, after all. It was probably art or some thing.”

  “I bet you can’t prove you were at Eely Good Fashions,” Zelda said, gripping one of the seaweed cushions in fear. “It doesn’t even sound like a real place.”

  “Do you have proof that you were at Eely Good Fashions?” Beattie asked, unsure what Goda Gar might do when they uncovered the truth—would she attack?

  “It’s a new shop, Eely Good Fashions,” Goda Gar said. “It sells tank tops and accessories for pet eels. They covered it in our local newspaper, Ahoy.” She handed Beattie a report about the opening. It had a picture of her there and everything. “And there are about one hundred mermaids who can confirm I was there all after noon.”

  It was a solid alibi.

  “Well . . . then no one did it,” Zelda said, slumping. “Ray Ramona, Liberty Ling, Silvia Snapp, and now you. You all have alibis.”

  Beattie twisted her fingers through her plait. The yacht seemed like it was spinning. “It’s so simple!” she cried, twirling on her tail.

  “What is it, Beattie?” Steve asked, swim ming around her. “Calm down.”

  She grabbed the side of the yacht and looked out to the Lagoon stretching off into the distance. “I know who it was!” she announced. “I KNOW WHO DID IT!”

  “Who?!” they all said at once.

  Beattie turned to them and grinned. “There’s only one mermaid on that list who was in two places at once that day . . . and no mermaid can be in two places at once.”

  CLAMZINE

  LIBERTY LING

  LIBERTY LING HAS been chosen to rule over Lobstertown, the Lagoon’s most loved city—home of artists Ruby Scales and Alfonso Munch, and the birth place of some of the Lagoon’s most talented young sports stars, including shockey stars Rachel Rocker and Liberty Ling herself.
Liberty Ling is also a scholar and expert in mermaid history, most notably the Ruster dynasty, and has big plans for the city. Here’s what you need to know about her.

  NAME: Liberty Ling.

  RULER OF: Lobstertown.

  STYLE SIGNIFIER: Her long bangs and shell-studded designer glasses by Crabby Crabby Four Eyes.

  FAVORITE PLACE IN LOBSTERTOWN: The Clipper Library, where she reads about the Lagoon’s history. She spent many days studying the Science of Shells when she was a student at Claw University.

  TOP TIP WHEN VISITING LOBSTERTOWN: Take a tour of the new funfair next door to the Orange Bucket. You can do everything from riding the Whale Splash, a brand-new attraction, to painting—at the moment they are asking young mermaids to help us paint fun things on the outside of the Orange Bucket café.

  MOST LIKELY TO SAY: “SHOCKEY! SHOCKEY! SHOCKEY!”

  26

  Brilliant Beattie

  “ The Swan . . . is LIBERTY LING,” Beattie said triumphantly as the three of them, and Steve, huddled together sipping Kelpskey. It was getting dark, and Goda Gar’s eel was busy preparing a platter of fancy sponge bites and shells filled with sweet whipped foam. Beattie tucked her tail under her. It was cold in Anchor Rock, even in the yacht.

  Goda Gar shook her head in disbelief.

  “You saw Liberty Ling with a whale that after noon,” Beattie explained. “But according to the article in Clamzine that Ray Ramona gave us, at that time she was also playing in a shockey match in Lobstertown.”

  “So . . . how did she do it?” Zelda asked. “A whole arena of mermaids would notice if she was gone, and Goda Gar couldn’t have seen her with a whale if she wasn’t there.”

  “It took me a while to figure it out.” Beattie grinned. “It’s all about what happened at Curly Clips.”

  “Curly Clips?” Mimi said. “But that was Silvia Snapp’s alibi.”

  Beattie shook her head. “But what hair style did the Curly Clips mermaid say Ommy got? A short bob ’do.” She held up the Clamzine, pointing at the pictures of the SHOAL. “The same hair style as Liberty Ling.”