Touch Screen: a small town romance

by L. B. Dunbar

  “The Barn? On the Scott’s property? For your wedding?” Britton repeated. Her voice squeaked under the strain and I felt her eyes bore into me. Another memory flooded my brain. One I had played over and over again in my mind, and then tried to forget just as many times.

  Scene: The Barn

  She was seventeen; I was nineteen.

  While I had been patient when we were younger, I was losing my mind over Britton’s body and my desire for it when we were a year older. It wasn’t more than a week into Britton’s return when I took her to the old red barn on the family property. Perched on a hill and hidden from the highway, the barn was on the opposite side of our cherry orchards in a section acquired by my grandfather to grow the homestead larger. The barn literally snuck up on you as you drove the dirt trail through the trees, and suddenly there it was. Old, cracked, and faded red.

  But what was striking about the place was that it was still relatively structurally sound, and it had the most amazing view through the west door. Parking on the east side, it looked like any other barn. Walking up a short, steep hill, there was a regular sized door that opened with a creak and allowed entrance to the old place. The inside was vast and empty except for floating dust and an occasional bat. It was the northwest door that held the secret. Pushed fully open, it overlooked more cherry trees that appeared to drop off the earth into the blue Lake Michigan water with the sky above as the backdrop. The view was spectacular during sunset, and that’s when I took Britton there.

  I brought the old double sleeping bag that I used to share with Ethan or Karyn on family camping trips when we were little. Laying out the large puffy spread, Britton and I sat admiring the view. I was on edge, sexually charged as I always was around her. I started slowly kissing her shoulder, neck, and jaw as we sat next to each other before I gently pushed her back and increased my pattern of raining kisses down on her. Half over her, I spread her legs with my own and kissed her deeply. This was nothing new for us.

  I slid my hands up her smooth tan legs and brushed the hem of her short shorts. She sighed in my mouth and I opened to invite her tongue to mine. I traced a line with my fingertip up and back, up and back, coming to the edge of her panties and trailing down to the inside edge of her shorts. She began to squirm under me and I took it as a sign that she would let me touch her again. I slid a finger across her underwear and she moaned louder in my mouth, pressing her hips upward to follow the movement of my teasing finger. I quickly slid under the elastic and touched her wet flesh. It was my turn to moan as I slid a finger inside her as she moved with my rhythm. This was nothing new for us either.

  When she reached down to skim her hand under my shirt, rubbing my solid abs and sliding her fingers into the waistband of my underwear, I knew we might be headed for new territory. It wasn’t that she hadn’t touched me before. She had. But I sensed that this moment, this night would be different. She unbuttoned my shorts and tugged at the zipper.

  “I need to get closer to you,” she whispered as she gently and hesitantly pushed my shorts over my hips.

  I removed my finger from her warmth and followed her lead, unbuttoning her shorts, able to slip them down without unzipping them. I removed my own shirt with one hand behind my head then pushed her tank-top up and over her. She lay under me for a moment in just her bra and panties.

  “My God, you are so perfect,” I sighed as I leaned in to kiss her then pulled back to look at her again. She was wearing nude underwear and a nude bra, but I had never seen anything sexier in my life. I couldn’t remember the lacy get ups and racy lingerie some other girls had tried to tempt me with. Britton was simple, and as I said, perfect.

  I removed the bra first then took my time massaging each breast. As I palmed her peaked nipples with one hand, I used my mouth to excite the other. When I noticed her panting heavily, her chest rising and falling, I moved down her stomach and over her hips to grip the edge of her underwear.

  “Is this okay?” I asked, uncertain. We had waited years, literally, and we had hardly had a time when we were completely alone without risk of interruption. We had never completely removed all our clothes like this night, and if she lay bare and naked before me, I could hardly turn back.

  She nodded silently without taking her lidded eyes from me. When I removed her underwear completely, I slid between her legs and let the tip of my erection rest against her entrance.

  “I wasn’t planning this, honest. So I don’t have anything with me. I promise I’ll pull out before it’s too late. Just…just let me feel you.” I was again uncertain. I knew this was stupid. We were young. I always wore a condom. Always. And I usually had one with me, at least the spare one in my wallet, but that one had not been replaced after I’d used it. This was risky, but I wanted, just once, to be with a girl without something between us. I had heard it was incredible, and Britton was the girl to share this experience.

  “I’m on the pill,” she said softly. I didn’t want to think about why. It implied she had been with another, and I didn’t want to know those details. We were very much in a don’t-ask-don’t-tell relationship. It was understood that there were others, but when she was here for the summer, we were exclusive to one another.

  I also didn’t want to ask how long it had been for her. I knew she wasn’t a virgin, but I didn’t know how many lovers she had had. She implied there were few, and I believed her at seventeen years old.

  “You are so ready for me,” I whispered before I kissed her and applied the pressure to slide into her. She spread her legs wider, and I glided painfully slow inside. I could feel each ridge of my length collide against her warmth, and I felt dizzy from the sensation. I held still for a moment as she lay under me.

  “You okay?” I kissed her nose.

  “Mmmm…you feel so good, Gavin,” she purred and closed her eyes as if she were sleepy.

  “I need to move,” I said as I slipped back slowly, but I would have to retreat faster. The intimacy of the slowness was driving me crazy and I literally shook with desire. She tilted her hips upward, clenching around me before I withdrew completely.

  “Please,” she moaned softly, and I pushed forward with greater force. I rocked back and forth several times in this manner, slowly pulling back, forcefully pushing forward again and again.

  “Faster,” she groaned as her hands gripped my ass and I picked up the pace. I wanted it to be good for her too, but I was too close. The sensation was too much for me. I was going to explode, literally, as she moved to match my steady rhythm, clenching me, hugging me with her legs.

  “Britton,” I moaned.

  “Not yet,” she whined.

  “Britton, I can’t help it.” I pulled out of her, gripped myself, and spilled on her stomach. It was an embarrassing moment for me, and I saw the disappointment pass through her eyes. A tear seeped from one and slid down to her hair.

  “I’m so sorry,” I said as I wiped her stomach with my t-shirt. I kissed her where I had cleaned, and continued to kiss her hips, her upper thighs, her inner thighs.

  Britton laid still on her back, her arm over her face, holding in her disappointment when I kissed her there. There. She jerked her leg, and I kissed her again.

  “Gavin?” she whispered on a groan.

  I used my tongue to help rid her of her disappointment at our first time together.

  * * *

  I felt myself grow hard as I remained on the top step of the porch stairs, looking at her across the darkened porch. Our eyes locked eventually and I knew we were both lost in the same memory. I wasn’t sure that she would remember it in the same way I did. I remembered that she ended up being the only girl I was ever with without a condom. Even in my three years with Zoe, she insisted I use one as double protection against pregnancy, according to her. In hindsight, I knew what she was doing, and I was grateful that she was concerned enough for me as to not risk sharing everything from all her extracurricular lovers.

  I remembered strangely how Britton tasted. I hoped she
didn’t remember her disappointment at that first time, but I was certain it would be a moment she couldn’t forget. I acted like a teenager, because, well, I was one then. I would have liked to change that night for her, and eight years later, I was hoping to do just that.

  “We should probably go now. The traffic’s better,” I said as I stood up and slipped a hand in my jeans to disguise my arousal.

  Britton stood as well and hugged Emily while I went in the house and looked at Gee for a moment before I picked him up. His blond waves were spread over his forehead and his mouth was slightly open. He looked angelic and I hated to disturb him as I slid my hand under his neck and my arm under his knees.

  “Mommy?” he mumbled.

  “Mommy’s outside,” I said.

  “Gavin?” he muttered softly.

  “Shh, little man. Go back to sleep.” I don’t know why, but I kissed his forehead. Looking up, I saw Britton in the doorway with Jess standing behind her. If I didn’t know better, I thought they both had the same rattled look in their eyes. Britton’s eyes were opened wide, searching my face as if she questioned everything about me, while Jess’ eyes were hooded with his jaw clenched.

  “I’ll follow you,” I said to Britton, and she turned to walk past Jess.

  As I passed Jess, he mumbled, “If that’s what you say,” and shook his head at me. I had no idea what he meant.

  Britton led the way to her car, and again I had that pang in my chest at saying goodbye.

  “I hate to see you leave so late.”

  “Oh, we’ll be okay,” she said as I laid Gee in the back seat.

  Britton leaned in after him and buckled the seat belt around him.

  “It’s really late. I…if I was home, I’d ask you to come stay at my place. You know, it would be awkward, though, with my parents, and all…” I laughed nervously and ran my fingers through my hair.

  Britton giggled.

  “Yes, well, I understand. And you aren’t home, anymore, are you Gavin?”

  I looked up at the sky. The night was dark and starless.

  “Nope, I guess not. It’s been kind of surreal. I know this is home, where I grew up, and yet it doesn’t feel like home exactly.” I looked at her, her eyes watching me. “It’s hard to explain.”

  “No, I get it. You know you came from here and you belonged here once, but you don’t belong here now.”

  I continued to stare at her as she played with the hem of her shirt.

  “Yeah, something like that, I guess. I want to belong here, though.” I didn’t know why I added the second sentence. Was it true? Did I want to be from here, live here again? No, I didn’t think that was it. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, except that I wanted to kiss her again.

  I reached out to brush her hair behind her ear. She was watching me.

  “Thank you for coming. I was glad to see you.”

  “Gee was really excited to see the fireworks. It was fun.”

  “Not too much family for you?” I laughed softly.

  “It was perfect,” she said. I thought of how alone she must be. No contact with her parents; Leo and Gertie both gone. She obviously had contact with her stepbrother to have his son at her home for the summer, but I doubted they were close. Who did she have to rely on?

  “I’d like to see you again,” I said, bending to look into her eyes and force her to face me. I slid my hand to her cheek. I paused a moment, thinking she would push my hand away, but she leaned her face into my warm palm.

  “I don’t…” When she began to push me away verbally, I leaned forward to stop her rejection with a light kiss on the lips. She leaned into me and pressed my lips harder. Pressing forward, placing both hands on her cheeks, I slipped them into her hair, held her head, and deepened the kiss.

  “Gavin,” she mumbled against my lips, “I need to go.”

  “Mmmm,” I said as I pressed up against her, forcing her back against the car. I turned my head to get a better taste of her mouth, and kissed her harder. And she was responding. She tilted her hips forward against me, and I knew she could feel the bulge in my jeans against her lower stomach. I was ready to take her under the night sky against her Volvo.

  “I could go with you? Drive you home?”

  “Gavin,” she murmured on my lips.

  “I know,” I said as I pushed my hips forward again. Our lips were not unlocking, and she continued to kiss me back. If I drove her home, I’d have to stay the night, and that was too much for now.

  Her hands slid up my chest, and she pushed gently on it in suggestion to step back.

  “Not.” Kiss.

  “Until.” Kiss.

  “You.” Kiss.

  “Say.” Kiss.

  “Yes.”

  “Yes?”

  “You’ll see me again?” I pulled back abruptly in surprise. That was too easy.

  “I didn’t say that,” she smiled and even though it was dark on the abandoned street, I saw her bite her lip.

  “Yes. You just said yes.”

  She shook her head to protest and I leaned down to kiss her again. She pushed on me firmer this time, palms flat on my chest.

  “Say when.”

  “When,” she giggled.

  “Funny. I mean say when I can see you again.”

  “I don’t know. How about Monday? I have the day off, but I have Gee to think about.”

  “Perfect. You can bring him, too,” I smiled and kissed her one more time.

  Take 25

  Under the Moonlight

  I was elated the next morning. I slept well once I fell asleep in the small bed in my parent’s farmhouse. The old noises of the creaky third stair and the squeaky screen door reminded me where I was and prevented sleep at first. But on further thought, I knew that what had kept me awake for a while longer was the kiss with Britton, the promise of another date, and the waiting for her text that she had made it home safely. It was after midnight when she finally left, and I knew it would be about forty minutes to her home. It was almost 1:15 a.m. when I got the text.

  I’m here.

  The same words she’d used when she arrived in Elk Rapids. My heart beat for a moment with the small hope she meant my parent’s home, but I knew that was not possible, and I smiled at my own idiocy.

  The kitchen was empty the following morning when I crawled downstairs in desperate need of a run. I had done minimal work-outs this past week, but I had the energy today and needed to get back on track. It would be a familiar path to run through the straight lines of the orchard and down the winding way of the gravel drive. I took off slowly as the heat was already starting to build. Today was Sunday and my parents were at church. Ethan and Ella were probably still in bed, and I had to laugh at the openness of my parents all these years later.

  Maybe it was my father’s infatuation with Ella.

  Maybe it was my mother’s resurgence of cancer.

  Either way, they both seemed to have come to a you-only-live-once-so-enjoy-it attitude when it came to Ethan and Ella’s relationship. I thought of my parents as I ran. My mother’s calm in contrast to my father’s harshness. They were a balance, and I thought I’d found that in Zoe. She was the wild one; I was the stable one. But I realized as time went on that our balance was not the same as my parents, and over time, my parent’s compatibility became something I envied and missed.

  Thinking about the reunion of families, old friends on the lake, and the energy of the small town celebrating its festival, I realized I had missed so much. The firework display, the excitement of Gee, and the touch of Britton’s lips made me realize that small town living wasn’t really all that bad. I wasn’t sure where things were leading, or what would happen next with her, but I was excited to get a second chance, if only for a moment.

  I continued my run as I thought through the plans for discussing my project with Joe Scanlon in another week. My mind calculated and imagined as I ran. Before I knew it, I had crossed the highway and was heading down another winding road with a broken
wooden fence to the left. If I didn’t know it was there, I would’ve missed the trail that was once protected by the fence. I noticed now that the fence was distinctly removed in this particular spot and the trail was deeper and wider, as if from continual use.

  I turned down the two-tire trail and ran through the orchard, past the neat rows of cherry trees, and stopped when the old barn loomed up ahead. It looked the same at first, but then I noticed the two trucks parked near the foundation. One looked like Jess’ and the other was the old green pick-up of my father’s.

  “What’s going on here?” I said as I climbed the short hill and entered the side door. The inside was being transformed by a small cleaning crew and a man pointing to different places in the barn. A stack of two-by-fours was at one end.

  My father turned to look at me.

  “Well, look who decided to get out of bed,” my dad growled under his breath. I ignored the jab.

  “What’s happening here?” I addressed Jess, who had his classic bandana around his short ponytailed hair. His jaw clenched as he stood with his arms crossed.

  “We’re planning a wedding,” he sighed.

  “What’s going on?” I questioned.

  “Emily wants to make it all romantic looking. I can’t see it. It’s a dirty old barn. I’m nervous that I agreed to this and she’s going to hate it.”

  “What does she want?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “Really?”

  “No. She wants the sun to set perfectly at the time we exchange our wedding vows. It will make the perfect backdrop. She wants white everywhere to soften the look of the beams,” he groaned, using air-quotes.

  “Did you just air-quote?”

  “I believe I did.” He mimicked the air quote motion again and I laughed.

  “I can’t envision it like she describes, but I want it to be perfect for her. I’ve done this before, but she hasn’t. She wants it to be special for me, too, claiming she wants to wipe out the memory of the first one.” He clenched his jaw again.