Flatline (Med Rom Series)

by Kristine Dugger

  Looking down. “I know what he has been doing. I just wasn’t preparing for this to happen. It was all about sex with him and it is becoming more, regardless of how much I am fighting it.”

  Brit chimes in. “Then give him a chance to be your next great love.”

  Karrie nods her head in agreement.

  Del smiles, “You have already moved on since Jake. Now it is time for our friend to experience being happy and possibly in love. As cheesy as it sounds, Leo could be your happily ever after.”

  Tears are forming around my eyes, they are right. I wipe the tears away. “We haven’t talked since he dropped me off Monday.”

  Del put her hand on my shoulder. “Maybe it is time for you to reach out to him this time. Show him you are interested like he has shown with you.”

  “Okay. Thanks ladies.” They all smile at me. I wipe away the last remaining tear. “So, can we change the topic? Maybe back to in the poop hole sex.”

  My friends bust out laughing. I absolutely love them. I needed this talk. It is time for me to show Leo we are capable of more than a sexual relationship. I am ready to do this date thing with him. I can’t wait to call him tomorrow.

  Chapter 19

  My plan of talking with Leo has crashed and burned. I called him the following day and I have not heard a damn thing from him. I texted him later that evening and still nothing. I know I fucked up but I am reaching out now. The least he could do is text me back.

  It is Monday morning; I look at my phone again hoping to see something from Leo. Fuck, nothing. I walk into rounds and everybody’s faces are quite gloom. I sit down at the long, brown conference table and flip open my laptop. Before looking at the census, the resident starts to present one of our patients. He commences, “Patient in 3510 was involved in a head on collision coming off the interstate. She was hit by a drunk driver, whom was coming up the 42nd Street ramp as she was coming down. The driver of the vehicle died on the scene, she is in extremely critical condition. Her head hit the windshield extremely hard causing multiple lacerations and her brain to bleed. We have stopped the bleeding for now but the extent of the damage is not looking promising. She is currently on the ventilator.”

  I finally look to see who he is talking about. He continues to discuss this patient’s case when I realize who the patient was. It is Ashley Bierman, Jake’s younger sister. The pen I had in my hand fell onto my binder. My heart starts to race. It can’t be. I blurt out, “She is going to survive, right?”

  Dr. Chesney looks at me. “Paige, we hope so. Right now, it is not looking so good. We are going to need tube feeding recommendation as soon as possible. What are you thinking?”

  I am trying my hardest not to freak out. “Concentrated formula, okay?”

  “Yes.”

  Dr. Chesney continues to look at me. “Paige, are you okay?”

  Not really! Paige, you need to keep calm and act like a dietitian.

  “Yes, I am fine. Not enough coffee this morning. I would suggest starting Jevity 1.5 at 20 mL per hour. Increase every eight hours at 10 mL per hour until we reach a goal of 50 mL. We need to start slowly to make sure she tolerates it.”

  “Sounds good. I am putting the order in now. Paige, will you see the family today to explain the nutrition component.”

  “Will do.”

  He continues to discuss the other critical patients in the unit but my thought process is distracted. My focus is on the girl that once was considered a younger sister to me. I haven’t seen her since the breakup. Jake asked me not to contact his family. He wanted me to stay far away from them as possible. I felt horrible not talking to her after the breakup. We were friends who became sisters. Since our families were in business together, I watched her grow from the annoying little girl who pestered us older kids all the time to a young lady who was pursuing a career in politics. I know she just got accepted into Creighton Law School. Thank goodness for Facebook, I can stalk her profile to see how she is doing. I miss her. Now, I am unsure if I will ever have the chance to tell her I love her and how I miss our fun times together.

  Oh the fun times we had together. Ashley was my Saturday afternoon shopping buddy. We would always start the day off with a ridiculously sweet coffee drink from Scooters, get pedicures, and shop the day away. She always would joke that my look was boring and that I needed more flare.

  I remember picking out a black maxi dress. Well, Ashley wasn’t having it. She would say, “Really Paige, you are so boring. Can you get something with a print? Just because you work in the ICU, you don’t have to look the part of trauma. Brighten your patients’ lives. And I don’t care if they aren’t going to remember, you still need to wear something that isn’t so gloom and doom.”

  The thought brings a smile to my face. I can’t be her dietitian. I can’t handle this. I need to page Michelle to see if she can cover me. Then it dawns on me that she is out of town for the next two weeks. I know the casual dietitian will not be able to take on Ashley’s case. Since I never take time off, Michelle is all I ever need for backup. Fuck, I’m screwed.

  ***

  Tuesday. Still nothing from Leo and honestly, I am okay with that. My mind has been on Ashley and praying she recovers. I asked Dr. Chesney if I could wait a day before talking with the family about nutrition. The whole purpose was not to bombard them with everything that is going on. I did chart on her, just haven’t formally had the conversation with them. I am dreading seeing them. What if Jake is there? How will I handle this? I really just need to focus on getting the talk done. This is not about Jake and me, it is about Ashley.

  Before walking into her room, I peek my head around the corner to see who is in her room. It is Jake and his mother. They both look exhausted and not hopeful. Mrs. Bierman is holding her daughter’s hand. Jake is sitting in the recliner just staring at his baby sister. I need to go in there.

  I knock on the open door. They both look in my direction. Jake’s pale expression turns into a light shade of pink. It is like he awakened when he saw me. Mrs. Bierman speaks, “Paige.”

  “Hi, Nancy.” I look at Jake as he starts to stand. “Hi, Jake. I’m here to talk about what we are doing nutritionally.”

  Nancy starts to cry. She walks over to me and hugs me. “I’m so glad you are here helping with Ashley.”

  “Of course.”

  Jake grabs his mother. “Okay mom, let Paige do her job. We can talk with her later.”

  Both of them sit down and listen to what I am doing from a nutritional standpoint. They really didn’t have a lot of questions, which I am grateful for. I just want to get out of the room as fast as I could.

  When I am finished, I walk out of the room to chart my conversation with them. Sitting at the nurses’ station, I feel a hand tap me on my shoulder. It is Jake. I look at him confused. “Hi, Jake.”

  “Hey.”

  “How can I help you?”

  “Can we talk? If you are not busy for dinner, I would like to have dinner with you.”

  I smile, “Sure. I’m usually here late, but I can leave at 5 p.m. We can meet at five thirty tonight, if that is okay with you?”

  “Yeah, I just need to get away.”

  “Okay. Meet me at the Corner Café in Midtown.”

  “See you then.” I watch as he walks away but then stops and turns back in my direction. “I’m glad to see you again.” And he turns back away, walking toward his sister’s room.

  This week keeps getting more and more interesting. My ex fiancé and I will be having dinner together. I really hope the focus stays on Ashley. It is going to be weird but the look in his eyes says he needs a friend right now. Unfortunately, his ex-girlfriend is going to be that friend.

  From the pit of my stomach, I wasn’t feeling the best about having dinner with Jake. I feel guilty, like I am doing something that could jeopardize my chances with Leo. I grab my phone out of my lab jacket. Still no call or text from Leo.

  I decide to text Leo again.

  Paige:Can we pleas
e talk? If you are too busy to talk, tell me. Stop ignoring me.

  ***

  Still nothing from Leo. At this point, I am annoyed as hell with him. I have given him plenty of opportunity to contact me back. I put myself out there. The only thing I haven’t done is walk my happy ass down to the Emergency Department to find him. But that is crazy stalker shit. I know I screwed shit up from our weekend but to give me the silent treatment for over a week. It is so unlike him not to contact me. Before things got complicated between us, he would at least contact me for sex; we would never go more than three days without. Did he find someone else? Or did he just move on from me? You know challenge met. He got his taste without committing. Asshole!

  When I arrive to the restaurant, I am so nervous, the blood in my veins is freezing over. I walk into the restaurant to see my handsome ex-fiancé sitting at a round rustic table. Surprising enough, he didn’t look as distraught as I thought he would. His dark brown hair is parted and swayed to one side, his deep brown eyes gazing up at me, reflecting the candle lit in front of him. He is dressed all business in a solid black suit, charcoal shirt and deep, blood-red tie. He not only represents the man I once loved more than life itself, but he represents the power he had over me once upon a time. Yet looking at him sitting there waiting for me, looking at me, smiling at me, brought back the influence he had over me. The capability to make me fall in love with him all over again. His debonair smirk sent an electric current through my body that ignited the emotions I still have for him. What am I supposed to do now?

  I walk my way to where Jake was sitting. Once I arrive at his table, he stands up to greet me. Still the gentleman he portrayed himself to be, he pulls the chair out for me to sit. Thanking him as I sit down, he pushes my chair in close to the table. It honestly feels like old times. Him taking me out to a small, quaint restaurant in Midtown, me trying to be the woman he wants. I am not sure why I am so concerned with being who he wants. We are done. There is no turning back, but here I am about to have dinner with my past.

  Jake smiles, “Paige, you look amazing.”

  Feeling really awkward about this whole situation, I respond, “Thanks. You look great too.”

  Sensing my hesitation, he says, “Paige, it’s me. You don’t have to be so wound up.”

  “Jake, I’m not.” I pause. “I’m here, what do you want to talk about.”

  His hand moves through his perfectly combed hair. “I wasn’t prepared to see you today visiting Ashley. I mean it was great to see you. You know, a familiar face.”

  “It wasn’t by choice. She is in my unit. I had no other option but to see your sister.”

  He looks down. “I’m sorry if this situation has caused any added stress on you. I’m truly sorry. But I just want you to know that we were relieved to see you. I especially was very grateful.”

  Now feeling like shit. “Jake, you’re fine. It was a total surprise for me to see her name appear on my census. How are you guys holding up?”

  A warm smile appears across his face. “Thank you. My mom is an absolute mess. My father, well, he hasn’t been there. He doesn’t want to see Ashley like that. You know my father; he has secluded himself to his work. Seth is flying in tomorrow. It is just mom and me. I’m trying to stay level-headed for her.”

  I rest my hand on his, looking him in the eyes. “I’m here for you, Jake.”

  His eyes were glistening over. “Paige, I know what I have done to you was horrible and not fair to you. I just want you to know, I appreciate everything about you. You don’t have to be here for me, but you are. Thank you.”

  Before I could say anymore to him, the waiter interrupted, asking if we would like to have something to drink. In true Jake fashion, he orders both of us a glass of Merlot. The new Paige would normally put up a fight about him ordering my drink but right now, it didn’t feel appropriate. This is all he knows about us; him being the dominant man and me being the submissive wife.

  ***

  Dinner was going extremely well between the two of us. We reminisced about Ashley being an annoying kid sister to the times when she was all serious and we never took her that way. We would laugh about the times when she would go on and on about her political debates at school. She reminded you of the crazy character Reese Witherspoon played in the movie Election. She is short, blonde, ridiculously smart, and feisty as hell. I always admired Ashley for her determination. In ways, she reminded me of myself. She was never afraid to take on the challenge and no matter what, she was going to win.

  Tears start to form in my eyes, thinking of the determined, pistol of a young woman that Ashley is. God, I hope she makes it. Jake sees me tear up. He grabs my hands and squeezes it. “She will be okay. I have faith. She has the best of the best taking care of her.”

  “Thanks.”

  He scoots his chair closer to mine. “I would like to hug you, if that’s okay with you.”

  I wipe the tears away from my eyes. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

  Jake wraps his arms around me, bringing me close to him as he hugs me. It feels good to be in his embrace. The way he is holding me brought me back to a place that I once loved and cherished. I slightly push away, looking up at him, as our eyes lock. He leans into me, when someone says, “Paige.”

  I look up to see who it was. It was Leo. Shit!

  “Leo! What are you doing here?”

  Leo looks at Jake and then at me. Jake looks lost.

  “I’m here having dinner with my father. What are you doing here?”

  “I-”

  Jake being Jake interrupts my stutter, he stands. I stand up as well. He reaches his hand out to Leo. “Hi! I’m Jake Bierman, a close friend of Paige. And you are?”

  Looking at Leo, I could see the fury in his eyes. His beautiful emerald eyes, were now a dark forest green. Leo hesitates at first but then reaches out his hand. “Hello. I am Dr. Leo Davis, a colleague of Paige’s.”

  “Well, nice to meet you Dr. Davis.”

  The expression across Leo’s face is stern, like he is holding back his anger. I plea, “Leo, I can explain.”

  He shoots me a nasty glare. “No need to explain why you are here. You are allowed to meet an old friend for dinner. I just felt that it would be rude not to say hi as I am leaving. I’m sorry to interrupt your moment together.” He looks at Jake who is completely, utterly lost on what is happening. Leo looks back at me. “Will I be seeing you later tonight?”

  What? He now wants to see me.

  “Tonight?”

  Jake tilts his head like a dog, squinting his eyes at me. He says, “Excuse me.”

  I reply, “We shall see.”

  Leo looks at Jake and back to me again. “I will see you tonight.”

  Without giving me an opportunity to speak, Leo walks away. I watch as he heads to the entrance of the restaurant and meets with an older version of himself. It is his father. The resemblance is uncanny. Leo’s dad is just a grayer version of Leo. Crap. He sees me having dinner with another man, while he was having dinner with the one person he is trying not to be. Shit, this isn’t good at all.

  Jake interrupts my thought. “Paige, who was that?”

  I look at Jake. “The man I’m seeing.”

  “What?”

  “Jake, I have to go. It was great having dinner with you but I really need to go. Tell your mom that I’m thinking of her.”

  “Paige, you are seriously leaving me.”

  “Yeah, I got to go.” I put a twenty down on the table for dinner, grab my purse and head toward the door. I know I am not going to catch Leo. But I need to get away from Jake. There is way too much feelings going around there, past and present, for me to handle. My two worlds collided in front of me. The whole flame that was hasn’t fully burned out yet to the brand new candle just being lit.

  I get into my car and swipe my phone open.

  I text Del.

  Paige: I am so screwed. Not the way you are hoping.

  Ding.

  Del:Come ove
r!

  Chapter 20

  There is a reason I reach out to Del about most things, she helps put things in perspective for me. She told me not to beat myself up about running into Leo. In my defense, he has not called or texted me in over a week, let alone returned any of my messages. She said he deserves to get a little jealous. However, I did keep one thing from Del about my run-in with Leo at the restaurant. And that was the feelings I was getting having dinner with Jake. Memories of times we had together, our talks about Ashley, the hug that led to an almost kiss. She knew we hugged each other but she also knew due to the circumstances the hug might have been needed.

  But what gets me so tripped up about all this is Leo. He showed a subtle dominant claim to me, saying he wanted to see me that night in front of Jake. But I never heard from him after he left. I know it was to stake his claim on me. Del said not to worry about it. In her words, she said, “Leo just needs to get his panties out of a bunch. If he wants you, then he needs to man up and get you.” She always makes me laugh. But I wonder, with dating Greg, if she knows more than she tells me.

  It has been two days since the little encounter at the restaurant. Leo has not contacted me, nor have I contacted him. I am fine with it. I made my attempts and he chose not to respond. My focus has been on my work, as always, but more importantly, hoping for Ashley to recover.

  Today has been an extremely long and exhausting day. I saved my most complicated and emotionally driven patient for last today, Ashley Bierman. I hate charting on her, it reminds me of the condition she is in.

  ***

  After charting on Ashley, I look into her hospital room, noticing no one is sitting with her. I’ve been dodging visiting her and her family since she was brought up to the floor after surgery. The accident has taken a huge toll on them, especially Jake. He has tried to talk with me a few times since our talk at dinner that one day. I hate knowing what I know, that Ashley’s prognosis isn’t good. The blunt force trauma to her head was severe. She isn’t brain dead but pretty darn close. However, I’m trying to keep the faith, for her family’s sake.