"Okay. What about my mother?"
"Do you sometimes dream of her?" he asked.
She nodded, not sure where this was leading.
"Can you remember anything at all? A smell? A sound? The way her skin felt when she held you in her arms?"
Again, Maddie nodded, surprised at how, now that he mentioned it, she did remember a smell. Her mother's hair held the fragrance of apples.
"Close your eyes, Maddie. Can you see her?"
She shook her head, keeping her eyes wide open.
"You don't have to close your eyes, but if you want to, it's okay. Sometimes, we can see more clearly with our eyes closed, but either way, is okay. Just listen to my voice and try to relax and pretty soon you'll see exactly what you want to see, but you don't have to see anything you don't want. Okay?"
Maddie nodded, struggling to keep her eyes open. She really did want to see a picture of her mother.
"Good. Once I help you relax, you'll be able to focus on whatever you want, but for now, while you're relaxing there in the chair, you can just be aware of your body, aware of how your hands are resting on the arms of the chair and you probably can notice how nice and heavy they feel, because you're relaxing now and not worrying about anything at all. You can hear everything, my voice, the clock, your own breathing as it becomes a little heavier because you're feeling more and more relaxed. You're breathing so nice and slow, evenly and steadily because there's nothing to worry about, everything is fine and even your heart is beating so slow and steady now, you can actually feel it slowing down and relaxing because you're aware of everything, even the way your muscles are relaxed, the way your hands and feet feel so heavy, like they're almost asleep, but in a good way, and it's almost like you're so comfortable now you couldn't even be bothered to move a muscle, though of course you could if you wanted, but you don't want to, you're so comfortable and relaxed that you feel wonderfully lazy, like every cell in your entire body has loosened and let go, letting you finally sink down to the most relaxed state imaginable. That's where you are. Do you feel it?"
Maddie heard Doc's voice but wasn't sure she could lift her head to acknowledge him.
"That's okay, Madeline. Now that you're relaxed, you won't be disturbed or upset or frightened and when I count to ten, you'll be able to answer my questions without any fear or pain. You'll remember everything I ask and it won't be scary at all. You’ll feel perfectly in control and relaxed. Are you ready?"
Again, she thought of moving her head, but it was too heavy and she couldn't be bothered. Doc was counting slowly, telling her that with each count, she could allow herself to become more focused so that when he reached ten, she'd be able to talk to him. It was like sinking to the bottom of a deep, cool pool, she thought. Not at all unpleasant. When he reached the last number, she took a deep breath and was surprised at how clearly and easily she could see and breathe.
"You can open your eyes, now. How do you feel?"
"Fine. Good."
"Good. Now, Madeline, I want you to continue to relax while I ask you to remember. You will be able to see everything very clearly and none of it will bother you. We'll start with something easy. Do you remember the last time you had ice cream?"
She scrunched up her brow, then nodded.
"Tell me about it."
"It was here at camp. Pat let me have two scoops because she said I was a good helper. It was chocolate."
"Very good, Maddie. Now, do you remember the last time you felt frightened?"
She furrowed her brow, started to answer, then shook her head.
"It's okay. There's no need to be frightened now. You're just remembering. You're perfectly safe and relaxed. You can remember anything I ask and it won't bother you at all. Do you remember the night you ran away? Were you frightened then?"
Maddie nodded, biting her lower lip.
"Tell me, Madeline. Tell me everything that happened when you ran away."
It wasn't difficult at all to recount the details. She'd relived them many times since she'd returned from her failed escape. She laughed as she told Doc how she hadn't really failed at all. She'd come back on purpose. She was just waiting for the right time and she would make her final escape.
"So nothing happened the night you returned to make you come running back to camp, Madeline? Think hard and try to remember. Even if you've blocked it out, it should be easy to remember now. You can tell me anything."
Maddie nodded. She felt so safe and relaxed. And it was nice to talk about it. She hadn't had a soul to confide in since it happened.
"I had a secret cave," she began. She closed her eyes and sat back, letting the story unfold as if it had happened yesterday instead of a whole week ago.
Maddie woke and for a minute couldn't remember where she was. The fire had burned down to a few glowering coals and the cave was chilly. Then she jumped up, her heart racing at the sound of a noise in the tunnel. It wasn't the deep, terrifying moan that she'd almost grown accustomed to. She listened again, straining to see through the crack in her door. Then she recognized the clattering sound of the boxcar as it made its noisy way along the track leading from the machine shop to the mine entrance. She rushed to the door and watched it chug by. She calculated its pace, knowing that if she had a running start, she could easily hitch a ride. And she had several days to practice jogging along the railroad ties, while she waited.
It must be morning, she suddenly thought, excitedly. Ben always loaded the boxcar at the end of the work session, then sent it on its way through the tunnel first thing the next morning. She'd made it through the first night! Soon, Coach would be out scouring the forest for her. She smiled, thinking about how she'd outsmarted all of them. They'd never think to look for her here. All she had to do was be patient. She had a week's worth of food. She had light. She had fire. She had fresh running water and a pit toilet. And she could use the time to figure out what she was going to do when she got free. One thing she knew for sure. She wasn't going back to her grandparents' house ever again.
One problem, she'd realized right away, was that without a watch and without daylight, there was no way to keep track of time. She'd made a scratch on the wall near her fire right before she'd collapsed in exhaustion onto the scratchy wool blanket the first night. That marked her first night in the cave. Now she carefully etched another larger mark beside it and sat back to think about how she'd spend her first day as a runaway.
The first thing she did was arrange her treasured goods in the back hidden cave where she'd spend most of her time. Just in case Coach did decide to come looking for her in Isolation, he wouldn't be able to see her. With the light from the miner's cap illuminating the oblong room in soft tones, she experimented with making a fire against the back wall near where the water trickled down from above. It seemed there was a draft there, similar to the one between the caves, and if it worked as a chimney, it would leave her currently-used mantle free for easy movement between the two caves. More important, the fire wouldn't be noticeable from the Isolation room. To her delight, the second fireplace worked almost as well as the first. Once she had a decent fire going, she cleaned out the old fireplace and set out into the tunnel to gather wood, using her tarp and bungee cords as a backpack.
After what seemed like hours of prying off chunks of rotting railroad ties from the secondary track and hauling the wood back to her cave, Maddie was both tired and hungry. She stacked the wood neatly in the corner and sat on her blanket by the fire to eat her breakfast. She'd deliberately waited until she was famished. She wanted to make sure her meager supply of food would really last. But the peanut butter crackers tasted wonderful, and she captured ice cold water in the empty tuna can that she'd brought along for that purpose. The bottled water, she'd save for her trek in the woods.
After breakfast, Maddie cleaned herself up, using the little bar of soap she'd swiped from the cook's private bathroom to rub at the creosote on her hands. Some of the railroad ties were sticky with the black sooty stuff
and she'd already learned that they weren't good for burning because they smoked too much. She thought about using one of the antiseptic wipes she'd taken from the nurse's office, but she decided she should hold those in reserve for emergencies. She couldn't go using up all her goods in one day. Besides, she had more wood to gather. There was no point in getting too clean, then having to wash all over again. What she ought to do was spend the day getting as much wood as she'd need, then go to work on her hands.
With the miner's cap strapped onto her head, traveling in the tunnel was almost fun. No longer terrified by the moaning and groaning, Maddie dared herself to peek into the hidden corners that veered off the main tunnel, realizing that many of them dropped deep into darkness while others seemed to simply meander off in another direction. Sticking close to the tracks, she worked her way back toward the machine shop, using her knife to pry off chunks of wood, then leaving them where they were so that she could gather them on the way back. No point in carrying them farther than she had to. Even so, after what seemed several hours, she was exhausted again and decided to lie down for a little nap.
This time when she woke, she had no idea what time it was at all. She was hungry again, so maybe she'd slept right through lunch. She treated herself to a piece of beef jerky, gnawing on it slowly to make it last. Then, unable to stand not knowing, she decided to risk a trip to the mine entrance, just so she could peek out and see if it was day or night.
By now, the trip through the tunnel was old hat.
Occasionally she heard a soft flapping sound which frightened her, but she hadn't actually seen a bat yet. And she didn't want to. She kept her light on until she knew from the turn in the bend that she was almost to the entrance. Then she quickly shut it off and made her way toward it in the dark.
As much as she had hoped to see daylight, the dark entrance meant a victory of sorts. Maddie had survived her first full day. She looked out through the slats of the electronic gate barring the entrance, wondering what time it really was. She couldn't see the moon but there were stars twinkling over the trees in the distance and she sat and watched them, glad to be out of her cave for at least a while.
She knew it was dangerous, but she couldn't resist snooping around a little as long as she had come all this way. She walked around the perimeter of the large room, peering through the dark at the now-familiar objects. She didn't dare turn on her light, but the faint glow of the moon was enough to take inventory in the dark. She noticed that the stacked crates were higher than when she'd been there last, a green forklift like the one in the shop, poised beside them. The boxcar was there, too, ready to be dumped the next morning. She could see the mound of charcoal-colored shavings from where she stood. She went to the trunk where Coach stored the blankets and crackers. Like before, the latch was unlocked. She peered inside and wondered if she dared take another hat. What if the battery on hers wore out? It might be a good precaution. And it would be nice to have her whole cave lit up now and then. She lifted a hat from the bottom, figuring that it might have been used less often and therefore might have more life left in the battery. She helped herself to a couple more packages of crackers and then went to explore the tool box again, thinking there surely must be something inside she could find useful. She noticed the pile of blue tarps in the corner, just where they'd been the last time, and was thinking about what she might need another one for when suddenly her heart rose to her throat and she froze, thoroughly panicked. The sound of an ATV had pulled up right outside the entrance and clicked off.
Maddie was rooted to the spot, though her mind screamed at her to run. She could hear the electronic hum of the gate sliding open and still she stood, unable to think clearly. She'd have to run right past the entrance to get to the tunnel and there wasn't time. Not knowing what else to do, she dashed for the corner, pulled up the pile of tarps and burrowed herself beneath them, willing her heart to quit pounding, so she could hear what was happening.
To her surprise, it wasn't Coach coming to get her. It was Doc and his brother Ben. She recognized Doc's deep, commanding voice immediately. She held her breath and waited, sure that any moment one of them would rip the tarps off of her and yank her to her feet.
But they didn't seem to be aware of her at all. They were discussing a shipment, she realized after a few minutes. Even under the tarp, she could tell an overhead light had been switched on. And soon, the rumbling roar of a truck could be heard as it made its way to the mine.
Maddie listened as Ben directed the backing of the truck into the mouth of the mine. Soon there were two other voices and somebody started up the forklift. She could barely hear their voices over the grating sound as the crates were pushed across the truck bed.
"How do we know this is what we're buying?" she heard one of the drivers say. "All I see are pieces."
Ben's voice sounded angry. "Because I say so. If that's not good enough, we can stop delivery right now."
"Now, now, Ben," Doc said. "He didn't mean to insult anyone. He's just being cautious. Show him the assembly package. Ben will walk you through it. Come over here where the light's better."
Suddenly, one of them came right toward her and Maddie was sure she'd been spotted. But she heard the sound of the tool box being opened and shut again, then the footsteps faded. As the men moved off toward the other side of the room, Maddie dared to move the edge of the tarp a half an inch so she could peek out at them. Ben had climbed onto the boxcar and pulled out a long plastic case buried just beneath the mound of shavings. He set it on the trunk Maddie had just gone through.
"Just look at your directions and follow along," Ben said, still sounding miffed. The trucker, a burly, red-faced man with a bulbous nose, was holding several sheets of paper in his hand, looking doubtful.
Ben opened the plastic case and the man's eyes widened.
"Doesn't look like much unassembled, does it?" Ben said proudly. "See how they're labeled on your sheet? Start with the stock. You've got six sections just for that. 1A, 1B, and so on. Get it? Harmless little pieces of plastic and metal. Watch this."
Ben deftly shook out a handful of screws from a plastic packet and began connecting the pieces with sure, practiced movements. In a few moments, he held up what looked very much like the stock of a rifle.
"That's all there is to it, Bud. You start with the ones, then the twos, and work your way to the end. When you're done, this is what you've got." He closed the lid of the long container and flipped it over, opening another lid on the bottom side. From it, he pulled out a fully assembled semi-automatic.
"Here, what do you think?"
Ben tossed the gun to the trucker who hefted it once or twice, then raised it to his shoulder and peered over the site, taking aim at various objects around the room. He leveled the gun at the mound of blue tarps and Maddie let the corner fall again, holding her breath.
"Feels good," the man said at last. "What about ammo?"
"Takes .223 caliber, full metal jacket, but you're on your own for that, as we discussed."
"And they're completely untraceable?"
"They've never even existed," Ben said. "In fact, until you assemble them, they're just harmless parts. That's why that one stays here." Ben reached up and retrieved the gun from the trucker.
"Satisfied?" Doc asked. He'd been sorting through a box the trucker had left on the ground.
"Yeah. You count it yet? All hundreds, totally clean."
"Good. I'll count later. I'm sure everything’s in order. Looks like you boys are in business."
The man operating the forklift had finally shut it off and was closing the back of the truck. He climbed into the driver's seat and the other man shook Ben's hand, then Doc's.
"Pleasure doing business with you fellows," he said, smirking.
"Likewise," Doc said. "I'll radio ahead for someone to let you out. Drive carefully."
The truck roared to life and rumbled away back toward camp.
Ben and Doc were tidying up, making jokes about t
he truckers and Maddie had almost allowed herself to relax a little when suddenly she heard a gunshot right outside the mine. Her heart nearly stopped. Ben and Doc both froze, staring past the mine entrance into the dark night.
"Good God, what have you done?" Doc asked, his face stricken.
"She heard everything," a gravelly voice said. "I caught her spying on you. She saw the gun." Maddie wasn't sure she recognized the voice but it sounded familiar.
"You killed her?" Ben asked, walking forward in disbelief. He was out of Maddie's line of vision, but she could hear his words clearly. "Jesus, one shot did all this?"
"She hit her head on the track when she went down. I didn't exactly have a choice, Ben. What did you want me to do? Sit her down and explain why you two are manufacturing illegal weapons?"
"Shut up, both of you!" Doc's voice reverberated off the mine walls and he pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger as if too tired to deal with another problem tonight. Then he raised his head.
"Go back to bed. Ben and I will take care of this."
Maddie heard the footsteps retreat. Doc let out a sigh. "Ben, grab one of those tarps. We'll wrap the body in it and dump it in the sledge heap." Maddie's whole body went rigid and she held her breath.
"Not tonight," Ben said. "After the truck went through, half the camp's probably awake. Someone will wonder why we're dumping at night instead of in the morning as usual."
"You're right. Damn it. Help me get the body in the boxcar."
Maddie closed her eyes and prayed as Ben walked right for the pile of tarps and pulled one off the top. She didn't dare peek out as the two men wrapped the fallen body and hefted it into the boxcar.
"Dump it first thing in the morning, before the cowboys are up," Doc ordered. "You better clean up, make sure there's no trace of blood. And clean off those tracks. She bled like a stuck pig."
"Where are you going?" Ben asked.
"There's a hell of a lot to be done before morning," he said. A minute later he was on his ATV motoring down the road toward camp.
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