Saving Us: A novel of love and friendship (Northern University Book 1)

by Wendy Million

  I faced him, searching for sincerity. Not that it mattered. Sebastian and I weren’t together, and if I had my way, we’d never go beyond whatever we were right now. The speculation going on—did he or did he not sleep with girls the last two nights—would ruin me.

  Annika pushed at Johnny’s legs, the two of them bickering in hushed tones.

  “It’s okay, Annika.” I broke eye contact with Sebastian. “Seems like Johnny’s having trouble controlling himself again tonight.” I stared at Annika’s wrist, and he flushed.

  He avoided meeting my gaze and took another gulp of his beer. After a beat, he offered her a pleading expression. “Please, just stay. Natalie said she’s okay. I’ll tone it down. Practice was awful, and I’m not handling it well. Just stay.”

  Annika’s shoulders slumped, and she slid into the seat beside him. “You did fine at practice.” She took out her phone. “Here, let’s look at it. You were better than you think.”

  They huddled together over her phone, re-watching sections of the practice.

  I sighed and stood. Sebastian followed me, and his hazel eyes were full of questions.

  “I’m getting a drink. Do you want one?”

  “I’ll come with you.”

  Chapter Ten

  While we made our way to the bar, I asked, “Is Johnny always like that?”

  Sebastian raised his eyebrows and glanced back at the table. “Moody?”

  “I was going to say assholeish, but I guess moody works too.”

  Sebastian laughed. “When something rattles him, he has a difficult time letting it go. Then, he gets moody.”

  “He has a temper too, right?” I slid onto a stool at the bar to wait for the bartender, but Sebastian stayed standing beside me.

  “He does, yeah. We all do.”

  “I’m sure not all of you grab a girl’s wrist hard enough to bruise it.” I gave Sebastian a pointed look.

  He frowned. “You were there. You saw what happened. He felt bad. Said he couldn’t understand how he left a mark on her.”

  The bartender came over, and we ordered our drinks. Sebastian’s words floated through my head while we waited.“You think it was an accident?” I drew my pint toward me when it arrived. Surprise coated Sebastian’s face when I glanced over my shoulder.

  “Yeah, it was an accident. Johnny’s not that kind of guy.” He grabbed his glass off the bar. “Even if he was, and he’s not, but even if he was, he’d be a fool to lay a hand on any woman this year with the draft so close. You can’t play if you’re in prison.” He stared at me for a long moment. “He’s not dumb.”

  Johnny’s level of intelligence wasn’t my concern. “Annika likes him, and I don’t want to see her get hurt.” All the ways I was worried Johnny could injure her hung between us.

  “If it makes you feel any better, this is the most time I’ve seen him spend with anyone since I got here three months ago. The guys were giving him a hard time in the locker room the other day, and he took it.” He slid into the seat beside me.

  Apparently, we were both getting comfortable here. I understood why I didn’t want to go back. With raised eyebrows, I took a drink, my question implied.

  “I don’t wanna go back over there,” he said. “We should hang out, the two of us, for a bit.” Over the rim of his beer, he sized me up. “What’s your last name, Natalie?”

  “Chapman.” I shifted on my stool to face him. “I already know yours.”

  “The myth, the legend.” He grinned.

  “The bird!” I concluded with a laugh. “You know, like Superman?”

  Sebastian laughed and shook his head, taking a drink of his beer. “That was rough.”

  I relaxed into our easy banter. “How old were you when you moved stateside?” I leaned one arm on the smooth wood surface in front of us and the other ran across the high-backed stool.

  “Thirteen. My mom’s American.” Sebastian smiled. “My dad’s Bermudian.”

  “They’re still together?” He’d called Bermuda home.

  “No. They divorced when I was thirteen, which was part of the reason for the move. My mom wanted to come back, and I was into American football. It’s not big on de rock, so it made sense for me to move with her. I go back to Bermuda to visit my dad pretty often.”

  “Why’d they split?”

  He grimaced. “Monogamy is hard?”

  “Is that your motto or theirs?”

  He slung his arm over his chair, mirroring my posture. “I’ve never tried it, so I wouldn’t know.”

  “Never?” My stomach dropped at the confession.

  He pursed his lips. “Never.”

  I swiveled away from him and took a bigger drink of my beer. “I guess that makes my wing-woman job easier. No need to worry about complications from past girlfriends.” My tone was light, but his admission was crushing. Whatever was building between us had zero chance of becoming anything more than this. Flirtation. Casual sex if I was willing.

  “No girlfriends.” He shifted forward too. “But lots of—”

  “Girls?” Our elbows were so close they were almost touching. “Don’t worry.” I leaned toward him, mocking a whisper. “I won’t tell anyone your secret.”

  He grinned and closed the distance a little more. “What’s that?”

  “You’re afraid of commitment.” I put the space back between us and took another drink.

  An air of confidence wafted off him, and he straightened in his chair. “I’m not afraid of commitment, Nattie. It’s a subtle difference for an over-committer like you, but I haven’t found anyone worth committing to.”

  I scoffed. “An over-committer? Is that even a word?”

  He held the beer on the edge of his lips, and the hint of a smile I loved so much played at the corners of his mouth. “It’s you. You didn’t bother to deny it; you just didn’t like my word choice.”

  “Because it’s not a word.” He might be right. I did enjoy commitment in my relationships. Clay had been too much, but I’d have the opposite problem with Sebastian. There’d never be enough with him. I’d probably always want more than he could give. This conversation was a good reminder of that truth.

  Could I slip out my phone and record him to play to myself in my moments of weakness? That’d be normal, right?

  “So.” I sat back and searched the pub. “Any prospects?”

  “Nah, we can’t start tonight. You don’t have your outfit yet.” His eyes danced as he gave me the once-over. “Do I get to pick what you wear as my wing-woman or…?” He raised his eyebrows.

  I almost spit out my beer. “No, you don’t get to pick what I wear. Please. The day I let a guy do that is the day pigs sprout wings and fly.”

  “So, what I’m hearing here is that if I can somehow find pigs, give them wings, and make them fly, I get to pick what you wear?”

  I shook my head and laughed. “This is not some sort of challenge for you to find a way to make it happen.”

  “That’s what I’m hearing, Nattie. Pigs flying equals Natalie Chapman wearing whatever I want.”

  I cocked my head. “What would you even dress me in? Come on.”

  He pursed his lips and stared at me for a beat too long. With a sigh, he took his phone out of his pocket. He scrolled through his photos before passing me his device. “That.” A cocky grin replaced his easygoing expression.

  Red leather, tight fitting, and skimpy as hell with a tiny cape. “You can’t be serious.” Disbelief oozed out of my voice. “I’d look terrible in that.”

  “You’d look hot in that. I’d be beating guys off my wing-woman.” He cocked his elbows as though he was fending off a crowd.

  “You’re ridiculous.”

  “This is true. You don’t want to know how much time I’ve spent considering this. I normally only think about football this much.” He lowered his elbows.

  I went to scroll to the next photo, and he snatched his phone back. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. You do not have scrolling privileges.” He clicked it
closed and winked. “I’ll save the other pictures for later. That was the best one, anyway.”

  “I thought you texted me the best ones.”

  “No way.” Sebastian chuckled. “I sent you the ones that wouldn’t scare you off seeing me again.”

  “How many photos of half-naked girls in capes do you have on your phone?” I pretended to try to steal it back.

  “No comment.” He blocked my hand, and once again the glass was poised at his lips and that smile touched them before he took another drink. “Seriously, Nattie, if you’re going to be my wing-woman, you need an outfit. I insist.”

  “Maybe I don’t want to be your wing-woman anymore.”

  He cocked his head to the side and looked at me. “That works better for me, anyway.”

  “What? You’re firing me?” I feigned incredulity.

  “You quit, actually. Shame. I had big plans for you, Nattie. You were going places.”

  “Nah, I was just supposed to convince other girls to go to those places.” I grinned.

  He choked on his beer and started laughing. Once he got himself together, he stared at me for a moment while I drank my beer in silence. “I’ve never had to work this hard for a girl before.”

  “How’s it feel?”

  “Strange, but I’m getting used to it.” His gaze raked over me. “I kinda like having you around, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m glad you turned me down.”

  “You’re giving up?” I held out my hand to shake on it. My heart rate spiked. Blood rushed to my head. “Just friends?”

  He chuckled and held his hands up to avoid my offer. “Not a chance. I’m basking in the chase.” He relaxed into his stool, elbow on the bar.

  Troy approached us from behind. “Seb, we’re heading out. You coming, man?”

  “Where are we going?” Sebastian leaned over the back of the chair to give Troy his undivided attention.

  “Home, dude. We have practice in the morning and Johnny’s on a mission after he and Annika dissected tonight’s practice about five times. That girl, man. He’s so whipped.”

  Sebastian grinned and glanced at me as if to say he’d told me so.

  “All right, I’m coming. I’m going to finish my beer.” Sebastian raised his almost empty pint and took the last of the beer in big gulps. He slid his glass along the polished wood. “Until we meet again, Nattie.”

  He trailed Troy out of the bar. Annika came up behind me, keys in hand.

  “Ready to go?” Her gaze tracked Johnny’s as he left, a frown creasing her brow.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah, Johnny’s so hard on himself all the time. It can’t be good for him.” She gave her head a shake.

  Johnny and his happiness weren’t her responsibility. We were back on even ground, so I held my tongue. Other than Johnny’s shitty attitude toward me and Sebastian, he’d been attentive to Annika, affectionate. Maybe the other night had been a fluke, a mistake.

  I slung my arm around her shoulders and said, “Let’s go home.”

  Chapter Eleven

  A few weeks later, I came out of my bedroom and found a half-naked Johnny making eggs. Dressed in his boxer briefs, he whizzed around the kitchen as though he was born to cook. I froze. Where was our dorm room sock on the door code? I wasn’t wearing pajamas for the quarterback of the college football team to see. Slowly, I turned to head to my room, but he caught sight of me.

  “I’m making Annika breakfast. Do you want any?” His disinterested gaze swept over me before turning to the eggs in the pan.

  “Ah, that’s okay.” I crossed my arms over my braless chest. “I didn’t realize you were here.” My tank top and shorts didn’t leave a lot to the imagination, but now that I was caught, I shouldn’t be rude.

  “Anni told me about the spare key. I used it when we got home from our away game. Some of the guys were going out. She wasn’t in the mood.” He took a plate out of the cupboard and slid the eggs onto it.

  The toast popped, and he buttered the slices before stacking them on the side. He grabbed a knife from the drawer, the ketchup and jam from the fridge, and balanced everything as he sauntered back to Annika’s room. In another life, he must have been a skilled waiter.

  Grabbing a bowl of cereal, I headed to my room to eat it. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to Johnny again when both of us were half dressed. When I checked my phone, there was a text from Sebastian at four in the morning.

  I need a Nattie fix. I’m going through withdrawal.

  My heart thumped. I stared at the text. How did I respond to that? Should I? Finally, I closed my phone and got ready for my class, deciding he’d probably been drunk. Maybe didn’t even remember sending it.

  I threw on jeans and a sweater, packed my bag, and dumped my dishes in the sink. Here’s hoping Johnny did cleanup as well as cooking.

  Before I got to my class, I spotted Sebastian at a distance. I grinned and opened my mouth to call to him when a girl approached him. She was tall, blonde, and model thin. She threw her arms around his neck and pressed her body close. My grin faded, and I shook my head, focusing on the building in front of me.

  Those hand slaps when I was on the cusp of opening the cookie jar were a good reminder. Someone fell into step beside me, and I looked over in surprise.

  “It’s been a while.” Clay smiled. “How ya been?”

  I returned his smile, pleased to run into him. “Really good. How about you? Where are you headed?”

  “204. You’re in 200, right?”

  “You always knew my schedule better than me,” I teased.

  When we reached the threshold of my classroom, Clay said, “Are you going to the football party tomorrow night?”

  I frowned and shrugged. “Maybe? I don’t know. Since Annika and Johnny have gotten so tight, she doesn’t make me tag along anymore.”

  “Well, I’m going. Maybe I’ll see you there. It’d be nice to catch up.” Clay rubbed my shoulder and then he continued along the hall.

  As I walked in and took a seat, I realized I couldn’t go to the football party if Clay wanted to catch up. Now, if I did turn up, he might take it as a sign I was interested again.

  While I took notes, mentally bemoaning Clay’s inability to let go, my phone buzzed. I glanced down, trying to make it less obvious. The professor had a no phones policy, but I had an addiction problem.

  On campus. If you want a ride home, meet me at the field.

  Annika. I could walk, but the weather had turned cooler, and a ride was a much better idea. There was a chance I might be able to convince her to spend a girly afternoon getting manicures and pedicures.

  As soon as the professor dismissed the class, I hustled to the football stadium. Would Annika give up any details about her night with Johnny? Did I want to know? Something about the guy rubbed me the wrong way. Was it that he didn’t like me?

  Outside the main entrance to the playing field, Annika chatted to Johnny and a couple other football players. When I approached, Johnny plucked Annika’s phone out of her hand, typed in her password, and started scrolling.

  Weird. When had Annika given him the code? And why? My life was in my phone. I couldn’t imagine giving the password to a guy I’d been dating for a month.

  “Who’s Brian?” Johnny frowned.

  Annika peered over the edge, a matching frown on her face. “A guy I went on a date with ages ago. It didn’t go well. I should delete his contact.”

  Even from where I stood, Johnny’s thumb hitting the trashcan icon was crystal clear.

  “Anyone else you want to get rid of on here?” He scrolled through her contacts.

  She snatched her phone back. “Maybe just you.” Her tone was teasing.

  He looped his arm around her waist and yanked her to him. “You wouldn’t dare,” he growled and then leaned down to kiss her neck while the rest of us looked on.

  Annika giggled and pushed at his shoulders. “Stop!” She turned her head away. “Seriously, Johnny! I don’t w
ant a hickey. They’re gross. Stop sucking on my neck!” Annika shoved on his shoulders again, and I stepped forward, uneasy.

  Johnny raised his head and gave Annika a quick kiss on the forehead. “Don’t worry, Natalie.” He didn’t bother to look at me. “We have practice, so you can have her back now.” His hands lingered on Annika’s waist. “I’ll see you later?” He studied Annika.

  She nodded and grabbed him around the neck to give him another quick kiss before looping her arm with mine and walking to her car.

  “He knows your phone password?” I asked as we slid into the vehicle.

  Annika sighed. “I guess? I told it to him weeks ago when he wanted to watch one of the videos I had on my phone. He has a crazy memory though, so I’m not surprised he remembered.”

  “It’s kind of weird he deleted Brad’s information, isn’t it?” I tried to keep my voice light and casual.

  “Nat.” Annika’s tone was full of warning. “It was Brian, not Brad, and it’s not that weird. He’s good. We’re good.” She rubbed her hands together. “I’m happy. I’m really, freaking happy.”

  With a deep breath, I said, “I was surprised to see him this morning when I came out of my room in the tiniest pajamas I own.”

  Annika gave me a half grin and shook her head. “Sorry. It just kinda happened.”

  “And it was good?” That was the only detail I wanted.

  Annika tugged her sleeves over her hands and started the car. “So good. If you’d said any of this would happen last year, I’d have laughed in your face. But he told me last night that he doesn’t want to be with any other girls anymore. Just me.” She gave me a triumphant grin. “So, if he wants to check my phone and delete guys, I couldn’t care less.”

  With pursed lips, I contemplated my next comment. “You know his password?”

  “Nope. Doesn’t matter. I trust him. We spend all our time together. When’s he going to be with anyone else?”

  A valid point. I hardly saw her anymore without Johnny attached. Impossible he could be doing anything with anyone else who wasn’t her or a member of the football team, right? Still, doubt ate at my gut.