Saving Us: A novel of love and friendship (Northern University Book 1)

by Wendy Million

  “Great timing.” He grimaced.

  “Do you think someone suspect what was happening?” How could anyone realize and say nothing?

  “Maybe. Hard to say.” He observed me out of the corner of his eye. “You’re going to hate me for saying this, but football organizations protect their own.”

  “Even when their own are hurting someone else?” I raised my eyebrows. Now I’d wonder whether he was being honest with me about Johnny. “The world’s changing, you know.”

  Sebastian laughed. “The world might be changing, but football isn’t. Not yet. This is the same organization that covered up the long-term impact of concussions for years. They understood what those head injuries were doing and did nothing.”

  “Why do you play?” A sport where players suffered such lasting consequences for money shouldn’t be worthy of his love.

  “It’s in my blood. I couldn’t quit, even if I wanted to. I gave up a lot to get here, to be this close to the NFL. Years with my dad in Bermuda, steady girlfriends, tight friendships—all of it for the game. The game comes before everything.”

  “Worth it?”

  He nodded. “So far, yeah. I gotta stay healthy, stay on the right side of the people who matter, and who knows? I could be in the NFL in a couple of years.”

  “That’s the goal?”

  “Since the moment I realized the NFL was a thing. Even before I was sure I could play.”

  “I admire that.” And I meant it. “To be so sure of your path is impressive. You were what—thirteen—when you decided to start playing?”

  “When I got serious, yeah. My parents’ divorce might have had something to do with my initial interest, not that I’ve ever said that out loud. For them the separation was easy, or at least they made it appear easy. Maybe it wasn’t. I’ve never asked. But for me and Kiara? It was hard. Life as we knew it was gone. I threw myself into football, she threw herself into school.”

  “School?”

  One side of his mouth quirked up. “She’s a criminal lawyer.”

  I laughed. “You’re joking. Why didn’t you say that before?”

  A hint of a smile. “You didn’t seem too fond of those types of lawyers.”

  I gave him a wry look. “I might become one of those lawyers. Who knows?” I patted his thigh. “That’s so exciting, Sebastian.” I squeezed. “In Bermuda?”

  “Yeah, she’s starting out. I’m proud of her.”

  “Well, you should have told me.” I searched his face, pleased he gave me a piece of himself. “Do you want another drink?”

  “Sure.” He handed me his empty glass.

  I checked my email on the way to the couch, not that I expected student housing to respond to my inquiry outside office hours.

  “Know anyone looking for a roommate?” I passed him his drink and slumped into the cushions beside him.

  He tipped his cup up a few times and seemed to be considering his answer. “I know someone who could move in—they’re on a semester-by-semester contract at the place they live.”

  “Who would do that kind of arrangement?” I asked, confused.

  “Frat houses.” Sebastian took a gulp from his glass.

  I stared at him. We were so close, and I wished I’d sat farther away. I’d gotten used to the feel of him against me and sitting far away from him had become more awkward than being side by side. Until now.

  “Please tell me you’re not suggesting another football player moves in here?”

  He chuckled at my panicked expression. “Just me, Nattie.”

  “You?” I squeaked out.

  He smiled, but it wasn’t with his usual confidence. “Am I that bad?”

  “No, no, it’s…” I fumbled for the right words. “Well, how would that work, exactly?”

  “I’d pay you rent, fix the little things that crop up, take Annika’s room, hang out with you excessively.”

  Ideas ran through my brain, and they’d make me sound jealous. I wouldn’t cope with an endless parade of women heading in and out of his room. We weren’t dating, but seeing what he did when he wasn’t with me would crush me.

  “Uh, well, we’re both single and maybe we might want to spend time with other people?” I tried to make the question appear as though I was concerned about myself. My heart thumped a heavy tune in my chest.

  Sebastian frowned. “You said you weren’t into the one-night stand thing unless you were on vacation? Is that what we’re talking about?”

  “Uh.” I stumbled. Somehow this conversation had turned in the wrong direction. “No, I—I mean…”

  He laughed. “Oh, you’re worried about me?”

  My face was on fire. If there was a mirror in front of me, I’d be able to see that I was, no doubt, ketchup red. He tried to catch my gaze, but I wouldn’t let him. “I guess it was going to get awkward at some point. Why not now, right?”

  His grin was in his voice. “I’ll make you a deal. I won’t bring any girls home without telling you first. You want a note? Sock on the door? Code word? Bat-signal meme?”

  Nope. None of that. I didn’t want him bringing home anyone. “I’m not sure, Sebastian.”

  “The offer is there. I have to give a month’s notice if I’m not coming back. End of November, I’ll need to know if I’m moving in here in January or if I’m staying put.” He leaned into the couch as though the outcome didn’t matter to him.

  Meanwhile, my heart raced out of control, and my palms were coated with slick sweat. An image of Sebastian fresh from the shower flashed in my mind. Seeing him first thing in the morning, having him be the last person I saw at night, terrified and amazed me.

  He reached out and squeezed my hand. “It’d be okay, Nattie. I promise.”

  What was he promising? I couldn’t bring myself to ask for elaboration. “I’ll make a decision by the end of November for sure.” Please let student housing respond tomorrow. Someone random sounded wonderfully appealing.

  Anyone, anyone but Sebastian.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Annika put the finishing touches on her makeup, and we locked eyes in the mirror. “Sebastian said he offered to move in here.”

  “Oh, my God! Are you two BFFs now or what? Why would he tell you?”

  “He was trying to figure out how I’d react. I told him having him live here would freak you out.”

  Pink rose to my cheeks as I examined myself. “Well, you were right.”

  “Yeah, he said you practically jumped out of your skin.”

  “I did not.” I gave her my best as-if expression. “The thought of him bringing home his parade of conquests made me want to vomit. What he saw was me trying to hold in my vomit.”

  “Anyway, it’s a good idea. He can pay rent. You know him, you like him, he fixes things, and we can hang out together.”

  “It’s a terrible idea. It’s an idea for someone who has no other ideas and her rent is due.” I pointed at her in the mirror. “You and Johnny have a place picked out, don’t you?”

  Annika gave me a helpless look. “He fell in love with an apartment not far from here. He might have already put the deposit down?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Of course he did. Of course.” I pursed my lips in annoyance. “Well, I won’t be without a roommate no matter what, I guess.” I tilted my head to the side, checking to see if my foundation was even. “You saw the place?”

  “Not yet,” Annika said. “I didn’t want to fall in love with it if you couldn’t get someone to split the rent.”

  “Right.” I nodded as though her rationale made complete sense.

  But it didn’t. Annika and I spent months looking for our townhouse because she loved to search. She enjoyed touring apartments and houses, speculating on layout, where furniture would go, where the TV would look best. Part of the excitement for her was the hunt. He either didn’t realize or didn’t care. She wanted me to be supportive, despite my reservations. I could do that, but I didn’t enjoy it.

  “That’s great you’v
e managed to find a place so quickly.” Pieces of Annika were drifting on the current of Johnny’s whims.

  “You ready?” She stuffed her products into her bag.

  “Are you coming home tonight?” I asked.

  “Probably not.” Annika smiled. “I can’t wait until I don’t have to live in two places anymore. I never have the right things at either place.”

  When I slid into the passenger seat, I was thankful for Annika’s cloth seats. Leather was so cold this time of year. I stared out the window while we made the short drive to the stadium.

  The team was doing well. Johnny’s and Sebastian’s names circled campus as whispered prayers. Playoffs, championships, and MVP trophies dogged them. If anyone recognized me as Sebastian’s friend, they tried to talk to me about the game or about stats or about something else I knew nothing about. Those experiences were always embarrassing. They probably assumed I was a football bunny—a pretty, but dumb, girl. My embarrassment almost made me want to recommit to learn the rules, follow along closer, understand more about Sebastian’s position or what made him so great. Almost.

  “They’re doing well, right?” I asked Annika after we’d parked and started walking to the entrance. Johnny had given her VIP passes, which I didn’t even realize happened for regular games.

  “Yeah, exceptionally well this season. Johnny and Sebastian make each other better. Best thing to happen to either of them was Sebastian transferring. They read each other on the field beautifully.”

  “People stop me to talk football.” I rubbed my cheeks in embarrassment.

  Annika laughed so hard she had to stop walking, and she clutched her middle. “Oh, my God. You must hate that, and the conversation must be so awkward. What do you tell people?”

  “I try to go along with whatever they’re saying, but then they’ll ask me what Sebastian thinks, and…” I made a spiraling motion with my fist and then had it explode, “I can’t string together a coherent sentence. I’m a dumb girl, and I hate it.”

  Annika’s smile faded. “What are you going to do?”

  “Two options.” I held up my fingers. “Stop hanging out with any football people.” I hesitated. “Or I learn at least the basics.” Internally I groaned, but I tried not to let it leave my lips. “Teach me, Obi-Wan.”

  “Even an incorrect Star Wars reference. You must be desperate.”

  I snorted. “I didn’t even get that quote right?”

  “Don’t worry, I’m not your only hope.” She winked. “Sebastian would probably love to teach you a thing or two.” She did a shimmy-shake.

  “I’m not interested in his thing or two.”

  “That’s not the problem and you know it.” She guided us to our seats near the players’ bench.

  I sighed. “What are we doing after this?”

  “A pub, if you’re up for it. Johnny wanted low key.” She gestured toward the field. “Are you going to commit to learning this time? Or are you going to study your nails and wish you’d remembered to paint them?”

  “I’ll listen. I might also examine my nails, but I’ll listen.”

  “All right, I’ll start with the person I’m most interested in and then move to the person you’re most interested in. They work together, so hopefully their interactions will make sense.”

  I waved her on with a flourish. “I am your humble student.”

  She snorted. “Humble, sure.” She settled into her seat. “Okay, let’s do this.”

  She started talking and pointing to the field. When I invested my brain into the game and listened to Annika’s explanations, her connection to Johnny made more and more sense. Speaking about football, she was charismatic. How could he not love someone who worshipped the game as much as him?

  At one point, when Sebastian came off the field, our gazes connected, and he grinned. A bunch of girls in front of us turned and rolled their eyes at the sight of me and Annika. I could only imagine what they were thinking. Johnny and Annika were becoming well-known on campus. People who cared about football also realized I’d been spending a lot of time with Sebastian.

  When the game ended, I assumed we’d hang outside the locker rooms to wait, but Annika steered us to her car.

  “We’re not waiting?” I followed a few steps behind her.

  “Sebastian’s driving them, and he’s going to park at our place,” Annika said as though I knew. “Making himself comfortable in his new home.” She threw the comment over her shoulder.

  “If he becomes my roommate, I need to date someone else.” I rubbed my hands together while I waited for the car to heat up.

  Annika stared at me as though I was being stupid. Her dark hair brushed the steering wheel. “Or you sleep with Sebastian on the regular.”

  “Or I go insane from watching him sleep with other girls.”

  She drove out of the parking lot and turned toward the pub. “I haven’t said anything because I don’t know if Sebastian wants you to realize what’s happening. But there haven’t been any other girls the last couple of weeks. At least none that I’ve seen or heard. Zero. Those frat boys are town bikes—every girl wants a ride, but he hasn’t accepted any offers.”

  I shrugged, but my heart broke into a sprint. “Doesn’t mean he’s not going to their places. He’s given me no indication he’s not still doing whatever he does.”

  Annika frowned. “The way he talks about you, Nat…” She sighed. “There’s something there.”

  I pursed my lips. “I wouldn’t deny a connection. But it’s not enough. It’s not enough.”

  We picked our regular section where people were able to spread out or sit close. Annika ordered Johnny a beer, and I was confident enough in Sebastian’s tastes to order him a drink as well.

  The players burst through the pub door, and the ruckus drifted to us. As they headed toward our area, there was a mixture of teammates and women. Gabriella, Troy’s girlfriend, was with them along with a bunch of others I didn’t recognize.

  Johnny slid into the booth next to Annika, and his phone rested face down on the table. Sebastian, on the other hand, was busy talking to other people. A girl passed him a drink, and he grinned.

  My heart sank, and I stared at the pint beside mine. I spent the night learning football terms I’d never wanted to have cluttering my brain. I went to the game, even though it was cold and damp. I was contemplating having him move in with me—not in that way, but still. And there he was, greeting a chorus of girls, none of them me. I tilted his beer to my lips and chugged it.

  Johnny’s phone pinged, and he muted it.

  “Who’s that?” Annika reached for his phone.

  He picked it up and angled the display, so it was only clear for him. “Nobody.” He slipped it into his pocket rather than putting it on the table.

  “Nobody?” Annika’s tone was skeptical.

  “You know what it’s like after a win, babe. Lots of people message to get a word in.” He didn’t meet her gaze.

  Annika seemed satisfied, but I pursed my lips. If the text had been game-related, he’d have let her see it. He liked to share those moments with her. That much was obvious by now.

  I slid out of the booth and headed to the bar. I needed a drink, or maybe three hundred. Resting my elbows on the wood, I waited to catch the bartender’s attention.

  “Buy you a drink?” a deep male voice beside me asked.

  I cocked my head, and my chin-length hair swished against the side of my face. He had a football player’s build, but I couldn’t for the life of me place him or remember his name. Tall, muscular, dark brown hair, pretty-boy-blue eyes. He’d do fine. Sebastian wasn’t the only person capable of attracting other people.

  I thrust out my hand. “Natalie.” I smiled.

  He grinned. “I know who you are.” He broke eye contact and signaled the bartender with a nod and a finger. “You’re the girl who has Sebastian tied in knots.”

  I turned and leaned my elbows on the polished wood with a heel hooked into the footrest.
“You’ve got the wrong girl.” I angled my head in a flirtatious way.

  He drew the beers toward him and passed one to me before paying. He glanced over his shoulder and then to me. “Nope.”

  I refused to follow his gaze. I wasn’t giving Sebastian the satisfaction. “If that’s what you think, what are you doing buying me a drink?” I raised the glass to my lips.

  “Curiosity, I suppose.” He drank his beer and swiveled to face me. “I heard you don’t even appreciate football.”

  “That much is true. Though, I did try to learn a couple things tonight.” I lifted my chin. “What position do you play?”

  “Safety,” he said. “You know what that is?”

  I scrunched up my nose, trying to remember everything Annika had told me. We’d focused on offense for obvious eye-catching reasons. So, that meant his position was most likely defensive. “Defense?”

  He chuckled. “Last line of it.”

  “Lots of pressure?” I sipped my beer.

  “Only if no one else does their job,” he said. “I love being a clutch player.”

  We had settled into a nice rhythm of talking and drinking when I realized I hadn’t asked his name.

  “Theo,” he said, grinning.

  “Theo,” I repeated, mulling over his name. “I like—” But when I glanced up to meet his gaze, he swooped in, capturing my lips before I finished my sentence. I hesitated for a fraction of a second, thinking of other lips I’d rather have pressed against mine. Stupid. No point in wishing for what I couldn’t have. He wrapped his arm around my waist, almost tugging me into his lap.

  “Wanna get out of here?” he murmured against my lips.

  I chuckled and created space between us. “I’m flattered. I am. But I’m not that kind of girl. Even if I was, I’m not sure getting any sort of involved with another football player is a good idea.”

  “There is something going on between you and Sebastian?” He arched an eyebrow and downed his pint.

  “No, no.” I brushed off my slip of the tongue.

  “So it wouldn’t bother you that he’s at the rear of the pub making out with another girl?” He indicated behind me.