Saving Us: A novel of love and friendship (Northern University Book 1)

by Wendy Million

  Theo’s shoulder bumped mine as he took a seat beside me. “Did you cancel on me because you’re going to be too hung over tomorrow?” His tone was good-natured as he signaled Gabriella for a beer.

  I fiddled with the shot glass in front of me, rocking it from side to side. “Uh, no. But that might also happen.” I hoped he didn’t dig deeper into why I wasn’t interested. Either version of the truth—he didn’t set my heart on fire or Sebastian's request to keep my distance—seemed wrong to admit.

  “Buy you a drink?” Theo swallowed his beer.

  “Better not,” I said. “Also, Gabriella has cut me off.”

  “Oh?” He glanced from me to Gabriella. “You don’t seem that drunk.”

  “She’s worried you and Sebastian are going to get into a fight over me,” I admitted.

  He smiled. “Would you enjoy that?”

  I laughed and turned to face him. “No, no, I would not enjoy that. I’m not a girl who gets off on overly masculine displays of…well, whatever that would be. Aggression? Possession? Nothing good, anyway.”

  Theo gave me an appraising look. “But you do what Sebastian asks? I’m guessing he told you not to go on a second date with me.”

  “Most of the time, I don’t do what anyone suggests. But I value my friendship with him. For some reason, he doesn’t like you much. I trust him. I trust his judgment.” Gabriella must have slipped truth serum into my last shot before she moved on to other customers. She was nowhere in sight.

  “Did he tell you why we don’t get along?”

  “No.” I frowned.

  “Well, sweetheart, let me fill you in. When he first arrived on campus and was marking his territory everywhere, he slept with my ex-girlfriend—the one I was working on getting back.” He chugged his beer and rose from the seat beside me. “Even once he found out, he didn’t stay away from her.”

  “I didn’t know.” I met his gaze.

  “Not surprised. Why would he tell you the truth? Doesn’t make him look very good.” Theo leaned toward me. “When you’re ready for an honest, decent guy, give me a call.”

  Gabriella was at the opposite end of the bar. I wasn’t sure if her abandonment was intentional or a coincidence. I motioned to the bartender closest to me and had three more shots delivered in close succession.

  When they were gone, I left my spot to search for Annika. When I couldn’t find her, I took my phone out to find a text from her.

  Left—gone to the frat house. Johnny is a beast. Talk soon.

  I stared at the message for a minute, wobbling on my feet. Go home or go to the bar and get drunk? The polished wood, and my still warm seat, beckoned me. Gabriella glanced up from filling a customer’s order and gave me a wink. Enough of a sign. I wandered through the small crowd of people, and I snagged a seat in Gabriella’s section. When I looked beside me, Troy was on my right.

  “Fancy meeting you here.” I grinned.

  “You’re drunk.” Troy took a sip of his own drink before setting it on the wood.

  “Nope. But I’m working on it.” I wagged a finger at him.

  “Who you going home with tonight? Theo or Sebastian? Or are you going to start on another player?” Troy’s sly smile took the bite out of his words.

  I hadn’t seen Gabriella approach, but she slapped his forearm. “That’s mean, Troy, not funny.”

  “I think I might be swearing off players. All of them. That means you, too, Troy.” I took the shot Gabriella passed to me.

  “Oh really?” Amusement lit up his face. “Why’s that?”

  “Theo said he and Sebastian were into sharing women,” I said. “I’m not good at sharing, so it never would have worked out.”

  “I don’t know anything about that.”

  “This is about Theo’s ex-girlfriend?” Gabriella asked, ignoring Troy’s warning glance. “He was never getting her back. Theo pursuing you is petty. She chased Sebastian from the minute he arrived on campus.”

  “And he had no choice but to give in,” I mumbled.

  Gabriella laughed. “You’ve met Sebastian? Turn a girl down? Not likely.”

  Although her words would normally incite a flinch, I was too drunk to process them. “That’s not a helpful comment.” I glanced over my shoulder to where he was still holding court with a gaggle of girls. “Why aren’t you out there living it up? Soaking up the women and the win and the hoopla?”

  He swiveled in his seat to face me. “Have you seen my girl?” He gave Gabriella an appraising glance. “I’d be a fool to screw things up with her. This college fame shit is temporary. She’s so far beyond all this, it’s not even funny.”

  I pretended to puke over the bar, and Gabriella laughed.

  “Someday, you’ll experience what I’m talking about, and you’ll realize I’m the smartest man alive,” Troy said with a wink.

  “Smartest man alive, huh?”

  Troy clinked his tumbler with my shot glass. “I’ll drink to that.” He tossed the last of the liquid into his mouth.

  “Hell, at this point, I’ll drink to anything.” I downed mine.

  “Where’d Annika go?” Gabriella scanned the bar after taking a few other orders. The crowd was thinning.

  “Went to the house with Johnny-boy. Man, that guy.” I observed Troy out of the corner of my eye. “He’s probably your ace-boy too or something, but I cannot stand him.”

  Troy’s smile was strained. “I have a lot of respect for Johnny on the field.”

  Gabriella rolled her eyes. “Johnny is moody. He has a terrible temper. He thinks people are property.”

  “Sebastian loves him. I don’t get it.”

  Troy shifted in his seat.

  Gabriella started tidying the bar for a minute before turning to me. “Johnny is his ticket. Even before Sebastian came here, Johnny was going to get drafted. Now, with how the two of them play off each other on the field, it’s a lock, a certainty. Johnny is his ticket to the big leagues. He’s not going to say anything against him, whether he likes him or not.”

  “So he might not like him?” I cocked my head to the side. “’Cause it seems as though he really does like him.” God, I was drunk.

  Gabriella shrugged. “Maybe he does.” She took a rag and wiped the bar. “I’m warning you that if he has to choose between you and Johnny, you’re not going to win.” She reached behind her and rang a large cowbell, signaling last call.

  The sound reverberated around my skull. A shoulder brushed mine on the left, and I turned to see a fuzzy version of Sebastian. I blinked, trying to figure out if it was him or if I was seeing things.

  His hazel eyes were tinged with amusement, which morphed into worry. “Gabby! What the hell? How’d she get so drunk?”

  Gabriella’s grin was wicked. “I think she’s got a lot on her mind, Sebastian. Maybe the alcohol will help her get things off her chest.” She winked at me.

  I rolled my eyes and hopped off the barstool. I stumbled and fell into Sebastian’s arms. He sucked in a quick breath as if I’d hurt him. But that was impossible. When I stared up into his open, concerned face, I wanted to sink into him.

  “You all right?” He looped an arm around my waist, securing me to him.

  “I’m drunk.”

  “No shit, Nattie.” He chuckled. “What’s got you so upset? I saw you talking to Theo. Did he say something to you?”

  My blurry gaze sought out Gabriella for a second, but then I remembered she hadn’t heard the conversation firsthand. “He said lots of things.”

  He grimaced. “Course he did. He’s always running his mouth.” Sebastian looked around the bar. “You wanna get outta here?”

  I wanted to go home, curl up in my bed, and pretend I didn’t care about Sebastian Swan. Standing this close to him, breathing in his cologne and beer mixture made me long to do things that had nothing to do with sleep.

  “Take me home.”

  Which part of me would win tonight? Sleep or desire?

  Chapter Twenty-Two

&nb
sp; He kept me tucked into his side as we walked to my house. I had trouble walking in a straight line, but he didn’t seem to mind. Every once in a while, he laughed when I stumbled.

  “Man, Nattie. What’d he say?” he asked. “You got this drunk because of Theo?”

  I shook my head. Cotton balls were forming in my mouth. I needed water, aspirin, and a long sleep. “I got this drunk because of you and Annika.”

  “Me and Annika?” Sebastian’s surprise took my comment in a direction I didn’t intend.

  “Not like that.” A drunken laugh escaped, and I whacked him in the chest. “Not like that.” I stumbled. I couldn’t shake my head, or the wobbles worsened.

  “Like what, then?” He squeezed my hip.

  I stopped walking so suddenly he carried on without me for a step or two before realizing I wasn’t continuing.

  “I’m pissed off at Annika for letting Johnny turn her into a girl I don’t recognize.” My words slurred together, and I took a deep breath. “I’m pissed off at you for sleeping with Theo’s ex-girlfriend and not telling me that’s why you two don’t get along.” I pointed my finger at him.

  Sebastian ran his hand across the top of his head and squeezed his neck. “I can’t do much about the Annika thing. So, I’m gonna ignore that.”

  “Typical guy.”

  He chuckled and held up his hands. “All right, feisty Nattie is in the house.”

  “What about the second part?” Crossing my arms, I swayed and cursed myself. Would I remember this conversation? Didn’t matter. We needed to have it.

  “You never asked me why we didn’t get along. If you asked, I would’ve told you. I wasn’t trying to hide anything.”

  I raised my eyebrows.

  “Okay, maybe I was lightly concealing it.” He gave me a small smile before his expression turned serious. “I don’t want to admit that shit to you, Nattie. It makes me feel like a bad person. Yeah, I did it. She gave me a sob story about how Theo was this terrible cheating asshole. But honestly, I probably would have slept with her, anyway.”

  I pushed past him and weaved across the pavement, keeping my head down.

  “I didn’t know you then.”

  He let me walk away for a few steps, and then I heard his footfalls behind me. I’d memorized the sound of his feet. I was pathetic.

  He got in front of me and stood in my path. “I wouldn’t do that now,” Sebastian said. “Doesn’t that count for something?”

  “What do you want it to count for?” Anger and curiosity warred within me.

  “I want you to see me as more than this jock football player who used to sleep around.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets and looked anywhere but at me.

  My brain darted between each of his claims. Finally, I settled on the truth that mattered the most in my drunken haze. “Used to sleep around?”

  He took a step closer. “I’ve barely looked at another girl, let alone touched anyone since I met you.”

  I tapped the side of my head. “There are photographic memories that say otherwise.”

  He brushed my hair off my face, tucking the strands behind my ear. “I was confused and upset. I’ll regret that night until the day I die.” He gazed down at me, his expression brimming with sincerity.

  I met his gaze, but I didn’t know what to say. That night fractured something, made me question everything I’d been starting to feel.

  “I hurt you.” He leaned down so his forehead almost touched mine.

  “Yeah, you did.”

  Silence settled between us while I digested his words. He smoothed my flyaway hair and kissed my forehead.

  “Theo is everything you said you didn’t want. Watching you kiss him, leave with him. You took a knife to my heart.” Sebastian sighed. “I honestly thought you wouldn’t care what I did.”

  “Caring about you has never been the problem.” Alcohol had been my solution earlier to my mixed-up feelings, but now I wanted to be sober to be sure I’d remember this conversation.

  “Nattie,” he whispered.

  We were so close the tiniest movement from me would encourage him. I licked my lips, flicking my gaze from his eyes to his full lips. God, I wanted him to kiss me.

  He groaned and secured his hand behind my neck, tilting my chin with his thumb, and he swooped down, capturing my mouth. He moved his mouth across mine, and my heart exploded, pounding out an irregular tune, part joy, part panic. I met him hungrily, dragging him deeper. We were lost in each other, each kiss becoming more desperate and uncontrolled. I’d jumped out of the plane, and I was free-falling with no parachute in sight.

  I was so engrossed in him I didn’t notice when he started to walk backward toward my house. Teasing me with kisses, not leaving enough space for either of us to rethink or reconsider what we were doing.

  When we reached my door, I fished out my key. Out of the corner of my eye, the parking lot outside my townhouse came into view. Sebastian and the girl with the long dark hair flashed in front of me.

  I unlocked the house, but my heart ached, and I couldn’t get any words out. He shut the door behind him and reached for me, but I sidestepped him.

  “I’m drunk and tired.” I shrugged him off to set my keys and clutch on the table before wandering toward the kitchen. Water, aspirin, and bed. I did not need to have drunken sex with a guy who would ruin me.

  “Nattie.” His tone was a gentle plea.

  “What are we doing, Sebastian?” I shoved my arms out in a wide arc. “I mean, honestly, are we ever going to be a thing? You and me?”

  “What makes you think we’re not already a thing?” He followed me.

  I leaned against the kitchen counter and scanned his familiar face, his broad shoulders, his hands that did amazing things on the field, possibly amazing things elsewhere. When our gazes connected, my cheeks flushed.

  “I can’t date a womanizing football player, no matter how much I like him.” I crossed my arms. “And I want a certain womanizing football player too much to simply sleep with him. I can’t.”

  He moved closer and reached out a tentative hand, as though I was a wild animal he’d caught and was attempting to tame. “What if this womanizing football player wanted to change his womanizing ways?”

  A wisp of a smile touched my lips. “Is that even possible?” I gave him a skeptical glance. As I played it cool on the outside, my insides lit on fire at the possibility. I wanted to grab him, drag him to me, and never let go.

  “You don’t think it’s worth trying?” He straddled my feet.

  “Just you and me? No one else?” I searched his hazel eyes.

  “Just you and me. No one else.” His words expanded across the room, filling up what little space separated us. “I’m worried you’re not gonna remember this tomorrow.” He trailed his palm down my arm.

  A shiver of pleasure ran through me. “I might not,” I admitted, and I tugged on his shirt. When I drew him closer, I raised my face to his for another kiss.

  He leaned into the offer, wrapping his hands around my waist. He lifted me onto the counter and giddiness raced through me. Kissing him made everything in me yearn for more. Making out with him was the best-worst idea I’d ever had while drunk.

  Sebastian slid his palms under my ass, and he carried me back to my room. With my legs wrapped around his waist, we hardly broke the kiss. He laid me on the bed and covered my body with his, leaving kisses wherever his lips connected. Every inch of me was burning, and his mouth fanned the flames more. When he caressed and nipped at my neck, a trail of fire sprinted to my core. God, I wanted him.

  I flicked his belt buckle with my fingers, tugging on the leather. He covered my hand with his, groaning.

  “Nattie.” My name was a plea. “Nattie,” he said when I became more insistent, urging him closer. “Natalie.” He gave my ear a gentle nip.

  Another shiver ran through me, but his voice penetrated my drunken rush. His face, all the planes and angles so dear to me, were fuzzy. “You don’t want to do
this? I thought sex was the point?”

  He chuckled and shook his head. “Trust me. I want to do this.” He swallowed. “God, do I want to do this.” He gazed beyond me to the other side of the room. “But if you wake up tomorrow and you don’t remember this, it’s gonna wreck me. It’d be even worse if you wake up tomorrow and regret being with me.”

  I released him to crash onto the bed. With my forearm, I covered my eyes. “I think I should be insulted. You sleep with anyone.”

  Sebastian laughed and collapsed beside me. “I insist my women are sober enough to be sure.”

  I gave him a sideways glance. “Always?”

  He chuckled. “You never take anything at face value.” Propping onto his elbow, he stared at me. “It’s important to me that you know what you’re doing.”

  “Probably sober Natalie will thank you,” I admitted.

  “What about drunk Natalie?” He traced me with his gaze.

  “Drunk Natalie kind of hates you right now.”

  He laughed and scooped me up, placing my head on the pillow. “Aspirin, water—anything else?” He crawled out of the bed and headed for the door.

  “No, that sounds perfect.” I turned onto my side to watch him leave. “Sebastian?” I called just before he disappeared out the door.

  “Yeah, Nattie?” He paused in the doorway.

  “Are you sure about this? You and me? Sober Natalie is going to be a buzzkill.”

  He smiled. “What about drunk Natalie?”

  “She’s fully on board. It’s weird.”

  He grinned and rapped the wooden doorframe with his knuckles. “Sober or drunk, Sebastian’s response would always be the same to you. I’m sure. One hundred percent.”

  I sighed. “That’s disappointing. I was hoping for one hundred and ten percent.”

  He laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll be right back.”

  With a yawn, I tried to force my eyelids to stay open even as they grew heavy.

  Sober Natalie was going to want to murder drunk Natalie in the morning.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Sobbing penetrated my dream, and I snapped awake. In bed, I lay for a minute getting my bearings. The room spun when I propped myself onto my elbows. Was someone crying? Where? I checked the clock. Three-thirty in the morning.