by L.H. Cosway
“You’re mean,” Alicia said and swiped him on the shoulder.
“I’m just trying to give you a heads-up,” said David. “If you sit in that position, Gary the cameraman will be able to see right up your skirt.”
“Gary! Is this true?” Alicia exclaimed, and the cameraman’s cheeks went bright red.
David chuckled and looked back to Alicia. “You see!”
“Oh, my God, I’m asking Vanessa in wardrobe to lengthen this skirt before our next scene.”
When we broke for lunch, Alicia came right over. I introduced her to Nick and she led us to her private dressing room where her assistant had set up an array of food for us. We ate sushi and talked about some upcoming scenes.
“So, where are you two from originally?” Alicia asked as she brought a California roll to her mouth and took a bite.
“We’re from Torquay. It’s in Devon, on the coast,” Nick replied. I loved how he wasn’t intimidated or fazed by having lunch with a famous person. I personally had a little bit of training when Julian and I went to all those fancy parties. My brother was a fish out of water, but you’d never be able to tell.
“It’s a beautiful place,” I added. “We get a lot of tourists in the summer, but there are also quiet spots if you know your way around.”
“It sounds lovely. Maybe I’ll pay a visit before I fly back to the U.S.”
“You’ll want to wear a disguise if you do,” Nick suggested. “The locals might go a little crazy if they find out you’re in town.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said with a pretty, red-lipped smile.
“So, you and David seem to have great chemistry,” I said, then amended. “Acting chemistry, I mean.”
Alicia chuckled. “Well, it’s not too hard to have chemistry with someone who looks like him, but it helps that he’s actually a lovely person, too.”
“I’m so pleased with how your scenes are turning out. You two really bring Toby and Sasha to life.”
She preened at the compliment. “I’m glad to hear it.”
When we finished up, Alicia walked us to the door of her dressing room. Just as we stepped out, Julian was walking by with Sheila. He had her on a leash this time with a little pink harness. It was adorable.
“There’s my future baby.” Alicia bent down to pet the dog. “I’m still deciding if I should risk jail time and just steal you,” she whispered playfully as she ruffled Sheila’s head.
Julian glanced at me. “Ellen.”
I tugged on the handle of my handbag, remembering our car ride yesterday, how he’d held me. “Hey.”
“Cute dog,” Nick said, grinning.
Julian didn’t take his eyes off me. “She is decidedly cute. Ellen, I’ve actually been looking for you. I was wondering if we could go over the afternoon scene together? I just had a few notes.”
My throat tightened. “Sure.” I turned to Nick. “Will you be okay for a while?”
“He can hang out with me and David. We’re due to run lines in a couple of minutes,” Alicia put in as she stood, her perceptive gaze travelling from me to Julian.
Before I knew it, Julian was leading me to a small rehearsal room down the hall from Alicia’s dressing room. He opened the door and gestured for me to go inside. I stepped in, both exhilarated and nervous as hell to be alone with him yet again.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Julian
Ellen’s shoulders were tense.
I followed her into the empty room and closed the door behind me. Sheila gave a little bark, since she had a thing about people closing doors. She really was a bossy little pup. I gave her a warning look and she piped down.
Ellen took a seat by the table, where I’d left a copy of the script. I hadn’t just been making up an excuse to get her alone. I really did have notes about the scene, but now that I did have her all to myself, the urge to approach her from behind, push her hair to the side and kiss her neck was strong. She wore a loose jumper that fell over one shoulder, baring her soft, smooth skin. The exposed black strap of her bra was an enticement I struggled to resist.
She started turning pages, all business. “So, which part did you take issue with?”
I placed a hand on the back of her chair, and she shifted away slightly. I moved closer, allowing the tip of my thumb to briefly touch her shoulder. She sucked in a small, barely perceptible breath.
“Page sixty-five. The conversation between Sasha and Ralph.” Ellen found the page and I reached across her to pick up a pen. If I wasn’t mistaken, she trembled a little when I got close.
Again, I resisted the urge to touch her and underlined the part I thought she should consider changing. Sasha asks Ralph, the escort who has agreed to be anonymously interviewed for her column, if he ever sees a day when he’ll retire and settle down. Ralph says no, it’s not in his nature to be monogamous.
“I don’t think Ralph should be so certain in his answer. In the books, it says he’s thirty-five and has been working as an escort for twelve years. That’s a long time. I think he might be a little jaded at this point in his career. I think he would be more open to trying out a different way of life, if the right lady came along. Maybe he doesn’t want it outright, but I think it’s something he would at least consider.”
Ellen was quiet, listening to me speak as she made notes in the margins. “Are you speaking from personal experience?” she asked, her voice deceptively casual as she continued scribbling down notes.
“That is what I’ve been hired for, to give my personal opinion based on experience.”
She was quiet again, then said, “So, you’ve felt jaded?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I wouldn’t have stopped working if I didn’t feel that way.”
“Any particular reason?”
I dragged a hand down my face. “There are a few.”
Finally, she looked at me. “I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
I saw her throat bob as she swallowed. “For not understanding your situation better. It must’ve been so jarring to have me come along and just expect you to…”
“Expect me to?”
She heaved a frustrated breath, appeared to steel herself. “Expect you to give your entire self to me, to make yourself so vulnerable when it’s something you normally guard against.”
I took the seat next to hers, grabbed her hands and shifted her so that she faced me. “Ellen, you didn’t expect anything. You drew me in, yes, but I came willingly.”
Her gaze dropped shyly to her lap. “And how do you feel about monogamy now that you aren’t working as an escort anymore? Is it something you see yourself possibly being interested in?”
“Ellen, I—”
Her hopeful eyes flicked up. “Yes?”
I took a deep breath, levelled her with a firm look and decided to lay all my cards on the table. “A lifetime with just one person wouldn’t feel like a life sentence if I got to spend it with you.”
Her breath hitched, eyelashes fluttering. “I…that’s very…”
“Romantic?”
Her voice was airy. “Yes, but, do you mean to say you want to be with me? You want us to try again?”
I brushed my thumb across the inside of her wrist and held her gaze. I made sure there was no way she could misinterpret my meaning when I replied, “Ellen, I would be the luckiest man on earth if you were to give me a second chance.”
I saw the turmoil and uncertainty in her eyes. It was expected, since I’d given her enough reason not to trust me by breaking up with her.
“I don’t want to rush,” she whispered, a tremble in her voice.
I pulled her into my arms. “I would never rush you. Just know I’m here waiting for you, whenever you’re ready.”
She moved away, seeming to gather herself as she cleared her throat and quickly switched back to our original topic of conversation. “You’re right about Ralph. In the film. He shouldn’t be so closed off to the idea of monogamy. I’ll make some changes to the d
ialogue and run them by Damon. Do you mind if I keep this copy of the script? I’ll return it to you later today.”
“Sure.”
She stood, tucked the script into her bag and headed for the door. I reached out to halt her, lightly catching hold of her elbow. “Ellen.”
She stilled and looked back at me. Her eyes were so big, so open, so guileless.
“Yes?”
“Really do think about it. Don’t make any rash decisions. I know I have a lot to make up to you, but I’m not going anywhere. Like I said, whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here.”
When she left, I felt like she took my heart right along with her.
* * *
ELLEN
After informing Damon of the small changes to the script, I left the set early. I told Nick he could stay and hang out if he wanted, but he declined and came home with me anyway. I needed time to think about what Julian had said. Yes, I loved and adored him, but I worried about him getting cold feet again. What if he suddenly decided he didn’t want to be with me anymore, just like he did after Dad’s wedding?
I couldn’t go through that again.
Suze’s birthday was coming up, so I decided to immerse myself in some shopping to take my mind off things. I felt like I owed her an amazing gift after everything I’d put her through, which was why I was browsing the handbags at Selfridges. I knew she was a fan of Marc Jacobs. I was trying to decide between several options when a familiar voice said, “Pardon my intrusion, but do I know you from somewhere?”
On the other side of the handbag display stood Warren Gold. He had several shopping bags on his arm, but unlike the last two times I’d met him, he wasn’t accompanied by a lady friend. My chest thrummed at the sight of him, nerves fluttering in my belly. How on earth had he recognised me?
“Um, no, I don’t think so,” I said, dismissive, allowing my hair to fall across my face. Today I’d glammed myself up, wearing a bright red tea dress and more makeup than usual. I thought it might make me feel better, but so far it hadn’t really worked. Anyway, I guess it meant my resemblance to Elodie was a little more pronounced than usual.
He came closer, eyes moving over me keenly. “Are you sure? You seem so familiar.”
“You’re mistaken.”
A beat of silence fell, then, “Elodie? You’re Julian’s Elodie, aren’t you?” Warren smiled widely when it finally hit him.
I refused to make eye contact, feigning preoccupation with the handbags as I let out an irritable sigh. “What do you want, Warren?”
“You were a client of his. I knew that old friend story smelled false. What’s your kink? You like dressing up? Role play? Honestly, I don’t know why. You’re very pretty just as you are.”
“I don’t have a kink. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m trying to shop.”
He didn’t take the hint. “Have you and Julian parted ways?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“I’ll take that as a yes. You know, I haven’t seen him around much lately. I thought maybe he’d found some lucky lady to settle down with, pop out a few kids.”
I made a hostile noise in the back of my throat. This bloke really didn’t know when to leave well alone.
“Then again,” Warren went on. “I don’t see that ever happening for Julian. Men like us, we don’t settle down. Love is a foreign concept. Julian likes to fool himself that he’s a romantic, but when it comes down to it, it’s sex that matters most.”
Even though I was trying my best to ignore him, his comment hit home. What if Julian was just fooling himself? What if the idea of a monogamous relationship was more appealing than the reality?
“If you’re in the market for someone new, I really would love to take you out,” Warren went on, his lascivious eyes slithering over me.
“No, thank you,” I said and moved to walk away.
“If you’re holding out for Julian, you’re wasting your time. I can’t count the number of women who’ve fallen for him. He left them with nothing but broken hearts. Don’t be one of those women, Elodie.”
I didn’t reply, too many pent-up emotions clogged my throat. He placed a business card down on the table where the handbags were displayed then sauntered off. Needless to say, I didn’t pick it up.
My encounter with Warren haunted me for the next two days. Every time I saw Julian, he had such expectancy in his eyes, waiting for my answer. I was too scared to give it to him. Warren had sown a seed of doubt that had spread roots deep in my psyche. Now I was questioning everything.
Three days after my encounter with Warren I was on set, texting with Nick. There was a break in filming and most people had gone to get food. I sat down on the chair next to Damon’s.
My brother had gone home to Torquay, and I always missed him when he left after a visit. Some days I felt like convincing him to move to London and live in my spare room, that way I wouldn’t feel so alone all the time.
My heart longed for Julian, pined for him, but I feared him pulling away. Going through that rejection again would be torture.
“I’m feeling a little down,” a voice said, and I looked up, frowning when there was nobody there. It took me a second to realise the voice came from the monitor in front of me. Damon and Julian were on the set of Sasha’s living room. Damon looked to be fiddling with the curtains, trying to fix the folds so that they were all even, while Julian lounged on the sofa, looking crestfallen.
“I thought you were enjoying the job,” Damon replied.
“I am, much more so than I expected but…” he trailed off.
“You’re having a hard time being around Ellen?” Damon guessed, and I sucked in a breath. I knew I shouldn’t be listening to this, but I was glued to the seat.
“Yes,” Julian went on. “She’s been distant. I laid my cards on the table for her, made it clear I wanted to try again. She said she needed time, but that was three days ago.”
Damon scoffed. “Three days is hardly a lifetime.”
“It is when you love someone.”
Time stood still. Had I just heard him correctly? My body filled with a thousand tiny butterflies flapping their incessant wings. For a second, it felt like my heart ceased beating. Like the world had been flipped on its axis. Hearing Julian say he loved me so casually, like he’d known it for a long time, set my entire being alight. A thrilling rush of adrenaline raced through me.
Damon shook his head. “You obviously don’t see what I see.”
Julian perked up. “What do you see?”
“That the woman is head over heels for you.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“Believe what you want, but I’m telling the truth.”
Julian went quiet, thoughtful. “I’m so in love with her, Damon, but I think I screwed everything up by breaking things off. I’m not sure she can forgive me for that. Maybe she shouldn’t.”
I stared at the screen, took in Julian’s beautiful, sad face, and all I wanted to do was run to him, take him in my arms, and kiss all his pain away. All of a sudden, Warren’s poisonous words had no meaning. They were nothing, not when I could see the stark, honest yearning radiating from Julian’s very being.
Damon spoke then. “Why shouldn’t she? Rose says she’s never seen you like this over a woman. If what you have with Ellen is a once in a lifetime thing, then I don’t think you can do anything else but tell her that.”
“I have told her.”
“Did you though? Sometimes you speak in riddles. Did you actually tell her you love her?”
Julian huffed a breath. “Not in so many words.”
“Then tell her.”
Before I could hear what Julian said next, I was up from my seat. I left my things behind, my phone and handbag, too determined to get to him. When I reached the set, I was completely breathless. Julian and Damon looked up as I braced myself against the fake door frame.
Julian’s brows drew together as he stood. “Ellen, is everything all right?”
I shook my head. “No, it isn’t.”
I didn’t give him time to reply. Instead I ran to him, threw my arms around his neck and planted my lips on his. I felt his shock in his sharp intake of breath. I kissed him with such force, with everything I had inside me. At first, he kissed me softly, unsure, but as the initial shock faded, his body responded. His arms came around my waist, tightening, and my spine arched instinctively, my breasts pushing against him.
He let out a groan, his tongue sliding along my tongue. We only broke apart when Damon cleared his throat.
“Uh, I’ll give you both a moment.”
Damon left, and Julian pressed his forehead to mine, his breathing choppy. “What was that for?”
I bit my lip, a wave of shyness hitting me. That kiss was one of the most forward, brave moves I’d ever made. My gaze went to the cameras. “One of the cameramen left the monitors on.”
He stared at me a moment, putting two and two together, before his lips curved into a sinful smile. “Well, aren’t you sneaky.”
“I heard what you said,” I blurted.
Julian tilted his head, eyes flickering between mine. “How much did you hear?”
I swallowed the thick lump that had formed in my throat. “All the most important bits.”
“Such as?” he prodded.
My voice lowered to a whisper. “That you love me.”
He exhaled, looking at me like he was taking all of me in. He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingertips warm on my skin. “I have loved you for quite some time, Ellen.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I feared you might not say it back. I feared the consequences of loving someone when my entire life I’ve avoided it.”
His words swept me up, like a tidal wave.