by Lucy Clark
Megan listened to his words, hearing the change in his tone, the resonance in his meaning, and wondered if he’d been present for Heather’s unexpectedly early birth. There was simply so much she didn’t know about this man, this man she loved. She wanted to know everything about him but knew she’d sound presumptuous if she started asking questions, especially as they’d already said goodbye.
Sure enough, Loughlin had Derek taking over from Heather, supporting his wife and being there to kiss her forehead and murmur soothing words. ‘He feels as though he’s failed her,’ Loughlin said quietly when he came to stand next to Megan.
‘How so?’
‘By crashing the car? By leaving her while he went to get help?’
‘Mobile phone had no reception?’
‘Correct.’
‘Heather said you’ve called this in?’
‘I called it from on top of the hill before the reception went bad.’
‘Good. Hopefully, we can try and keep things moving along until the ambulance turns up. First babies usually take longer to deliver and I have to confess I’d be far more comfortable doing this delivery in the hos—’ Her words were cut short as Eva had another contraction and this one was a beauty. She hollered and screamed her way through the pain. Megan focused on what was happening.
‘It’s bad enough trying to push out the baby’s head,’ Loughlin remarked quietly once the contraction had eased.
‘And you’d know?’ Megan raised an eyebrow at him and he grinned at her. Heather was standing near them, holding the torch, interestedly watching the exchange between the adults. She didn’t appear at all squeamish about the impending birth.
‘I’ll have you know that I’ve assisted in the delivery of two of my nephews and one of my nieces. Heather was present at the last birth and that’s when she told me she was going to follow in my footsteps and be a doctor.’
‘I want to deliver babies. It’s totally awesome,’ Heather piped up.
‘Well, you’ll be getting an education tonight,’ Megan replied. She pulled out her stethoscope and listened for the baby’s heartbeat. Loughlin checked on Eva and both doctors were pleased with the way things were progressing.
When the next contraction came, it was stronger than the last and Eva needed to keep on pushing as the baby’s buttocks started really showing.
‘The perineum is too tight,’ Loughlin commented to Megan.
‘Agreed. Heather, I need you to get some things out of my medical kit for me.’ Megan told the girl what she wanted and soon Heather had located the injection of local anaesthetic and handed it to Megan.
‘You’re quite adept. As good as your father.’
‘I like this.’ Heather shrugged as though she assisted with surgery every day. When the local anaesthetic had taken effect, and after another contraction, Megan took the sterilised surgical scissors from the packet Heather held open to her and then performed an episiotomy. Once that was done, the labour seemed to progress quite quickly.
‘Ambulance is here,’ Heather announced, after both the feet had been delivered and Loughlin was holding carefully onto the baby’s hips, being careful not to hold the baby by the abdomen or flanks to avoid causing kidney or liver damage.
When the paramedics came up, Megan gave them explicit instructions. ‘Have the oxytocin ready, ten units intramuscular. I’ll need clamps and scissors. Be ready with the suction.’
Gav, Kiama’s police officer, turned up as well and as Loughlin and Megan assisted with the delivery of the baby’s arms, one at a time, Gav started taking control of the emergency situation. By the time the baby boy was delivered, Eva was utterly exhausted. She wasn’t all that interested in holding or seeing the baby straight away and Megan hoped she didn’t reject the baby because of the abnormal circumstances of his birth.
Derek, however, was as chuffed as you would imagine a new father could be. ‘We’re going to call him David Nicholas.’
‘Lovely,’ Megan replied.
‘David’s a great name,’ Heather piped up, with a wink at Megan.
‘Good, strong names,’ Loughlin added, shaking the man’s hand. His car was a wreck, his wife was exhausted but he was a proud father and nothing was going to dampen this moment for him, not even the light rain that was starting to fall. Megan delivered the placenta while Lochie, with Heather’s help, performed observations on the baby—pleased with the results. Soon, they were able to get Eva ready for transfer into the ambulance.
Megan climbed in to the back of the emergency vehicle to give Eva a quick check. ‘You’re doing very well.’
‘I’m tired.’ She turned her head away.
‘I know. Did you want to see little David Nicholas?’
‘Nicholas David,’ she contradicted. ‘If he tries to call my son David, after his father rather than Nicholas after my father, he’s got another think coming.’
Megan soothed Eva and decided it was best to get the new little family to the hospital sooner rather than later. ‘I’ll follow the ambulance in my car and see you at the hospital.’
‘Whatever.’ Eva resolutely closed her eyes and Megan climbed from the vehicle.
As they stood there, Loughlin, Megan and Heather watching the ambulance pull away, Megan shook her head.
‘What?’ Loughlin asked. Megan turned to look at him and saw that he had his arm around Heather’s shoulders, holding his daughter close.
‘Nothing.’
‘Ah, it’s not nothing, Megan Iris. I can read your thoughts.’
‘Is that so?’ She looked at him, pleased to see that for this moment at least he was his old self. Perhaps they hadn’t finished saying goodbye after all?
‘Aye.’
‘Then what am I thinking?’
‘You’re trying to figure out how a woman cannae want to see her child. Can possibly not care what happens to him. Of course, rationally, you tell yourself that it’s just because she’s been through one heck of an ordeal and is completely exhausted—both of which are true. You’re sure that later on she’ll want to hold her baby, to nurse him, to bond with him.’
‘She will. A lot of mothers are just too exhausted.’ Megan started packing up her medical kit, keeping out of Gav’s way as he spoke to the tow-truck driver.
‘Not all mothers bond with their babies.’ Loughlin’s words were spoken quietly and Megan instantly straightened, looking at him. Loughlin dropped a kiss to Heather’s head, the girl leaning into him.
Megan wished she had a camera to capture the moment, the look of love, trust and protectiveness that passed from Loughlin to his daughter. He’d told her how Heather’s mother hadn’t been interested in the girl and, after meeting Heather and spending time with her, Megan had come to the conclusion that Loughlin’s ex-wife had a few screws loose.
‘Her loss.’ The words were out of her mouth before she realised it and she soon found two pairs of identical brown eyes turned her way. ‘Heather—you’re amazing.’ Megan’s words were sincere and straight from the heart. ‘If your mother doesn’t want to know you, she is missing out—big time—on someone who is not only a brilliant young woman but is going to reach for the stars and impress us all as she continues to grow.’ Tears started to gather in Megan’s eyes and she was stunned that she could feel so vehement about her love for this twelve-year-old.
Heather left her father’s side and ran to Megan, hugging her close. ‘That was really nice. What you said.’
Megan looked at the girl, who was almost her height. ‘It’s all true.’ And in that moment, as she held Heather close, Megan felt the twinges of maternal instinct kick in. It was something she’d denied herself for so long, had thought she’d never get to experience, and here she was, absolutely crazy about Loughlin’s daughter. Was it easy to love the child because she loved the father? Or was it simply that both McClouds had worked their way into her heart, letting her see there was far more to life than working and trying to cope with the past?
‘We’d better get to the hospi
tal.’ Loughlin was the one to break the moment but he didn’t say anything else. Even as he bundled Heather back into his ute, he didn’t speak much at all.
‘Wouldn’t it be easier for all of us to go in one car?’ Heather asked, but the only answer she received was a shake of her father’s head.
Loughlin checked his rear-view mirror and saw Megan talking briefly with Gav, who would wait around for the tow-truck driver to leave. His heart lurched at the sight of Megan as he watched the smooth way she moved, the way she put a hand on Gav’s shoulder. He could see her lips moving and even though he couldn’t hear her, he knew she was thanking the police officer. She was quite a woman and he couldn’t believe she didn’t see that. He was so angry at the jerk who had left her at the altar because not only had he humiliated her, he’d stripped her of all her self-confidence. He wanted to shake her sometimes, to tell her she was the most vibrant, exciting and intoxicating woman he’d ever met.
His heart swelled with love for her and the need for them to be together intensified…but he knew that couldn’t be.
Forcing himself to look away from Megan, he returned his focus to the road before him, on this dark and not so stormy night. He couldn’t think about the way Megan had embraced Heather and the words she’d spoken. He needed to concentrate on getting to the hospital safely but flashes of Megan holding Heather, the way she’d looked at the girl with such maternal love, had definitely rocked him to his core.
It was what he’d been wanting his ex-wife to do for so long…well, for the past twelve years, but every time Bonnie had come back into his and Heather’s life, she’d left them broken up and dejected. He’d watched as Heather had become quite attached to Megan over the past weeks, the two of them instantly bonding, and where he’d been happy to see his daughter settling in, he’d been wary of her getting too close to Megan.
He loved Megan. He’d admitted as much to himself. It was obvious his daughter loved Megan too but he hadn’t expected Megan—the woman who’d said she was too prickly to let people into her life—to love his daughter back. It just showed him how much she’d changed since they’d first met. She didn’t appear to be looking backwards all the time, trying to reconcile her past. Instead, he hoped her eyes were steadfastly on the future…whatever it might bring.
At the hospital, he was able to concentrate much better, ensuring baby Nicholas David or David Nicholas was improving rapidly. By the time Megan arrived, he’d organised for the new family to have a quiet room of their own, Derek not wanting to let his new son out of his sight.
‘How’s Eva?’ Megan made sure she didn’t stand too close to Loughlin as she asked the question. They were in the ward where Nicole, the CNC, was enjoying having a newborn to fuss over.
‘Exhibiting signs of emotional distress and early onset of postnatal depression. I’ve given her a sedative to help her sleep.’
‘Good.’ Megan read the chart and the observations that had been performed. Silence reigned between them.
‘Er…did Gav get everything sorted out?’
Megan’s smile was immediate. ‘Have you ever known Gav not to get things sorted out?’
‘True.’ He watched her, knowing she was giving the chart before her far more attention than it deserved.
‘Uh…Megan?’
‘Yes?’
‘Thanks.’ He shifted a little and made sure he was looking her directly into her eyes as he spoke. ‘Thanks for saying what you did about Heather.’
‘It’s all true, Lochie. She’s amazing. You’ve done a brilliant job in raising her. You should be immensely proud.’
‘Aye. I am. No doubt about that.’
‘Where is Heather, by the way?’
‘In your office, I think. It’s her favourite place in the hospital.’
Megan’s smile was immediate. ‘So she’s told me.’
‘You’ve become quite close.’
Megan nodded. ‘I love her, Loughlin. I’m sorry if that makes you feel uncomfortable or concerned or whatever, but she’s touched a part of me deep inside.’ Megan put the chart down and laced her fingers together. ‘She reminds me of me. When I was twelve I had such drive, such determination to become a doctor. My teachers were astounded at my comprehension levels and natural ability to do my work so easily that at Heather’s age I had an IQ test, discovered I was in the “genius” category and haven’t looked back since.’
‘Is that so?’ Loughlin wasn’t all that surprised. He’d figured out quite quickly that Megan was highly intelligent but he’d had no idea she’d been branded with the genius label. ‘That must have raised the bar a little. Made life a wee bit more difficult.’
Megan shrugged. ‘Workwise, things were easy. I breezed through school.’
‘I didn’t mean at an academic level. I mean, with that sort of intellect, people expect more from you.’ He studied her closely, as though really seeing her for the first time. ‘Expect you to grow up faster. Be more mature than you are simply because you have a higher level of comprehension.’
Megan thought about it. ‘I guess. Yes.’ She was feeling quite unnerved with what he was saying and realised she should shift the conversation away from herself. ‘And that’s why I think it’s been so easy for me to accept Heather. She’s incredibly smart, Lochie.’
‘I ken that.’
‘But at the same time she’s a normal twelve-year-old.’
‘And you envy that a wee bit, eh? No doubt you were thrust out of your normal world into an adult world and expected to behave like one.’ He wanted to touch her, to caress her cheek, to hold her close. He kept his hands firmly at his sides. ‘You didn’t have time to find out who you really were—apart from being a smart girl.’
Tears had sprung to Megan’s eyes at his soft, heartfelt words. It was as though while he was speaking she was coming to realise the full truth of his words. She’d never been a normal teenager. She’d been the freaky genius girl who her peers had only spoken to if they’d wanted help with their homework. It was a mould she’d allowed herself to be put into because in a way it had given her a level of acceptance amongst her peers, an identity of sorts. She’d closed herself off back then and she’d allowed other people—her teachers, her university lecturers, her hospital superiors—to keep her in the same mould.
‘I’d forgotten how perceptive you are.’ She smiled through the tears, trying to get control.
‘Och, Megsy.’ Loughlin couldn’t stand it any longer and went to reach for her, needing to hold her close to him. She instantly backed away and swiped a hand across her eyes. He dropped his hand. ‘I didn’t mean to make you cry.’
‘I need to go.’ She fished her car keys from her pocket and pulled a tissue from the box on the nurses’ desk.
Loughlin stepped forward and took her hand in his. ‘You drive carefully, you hear?’
She looked down at their hands, at the way they were intertwined, and for a second she couldn’t tell which were her fingers and which were his. His warmth instantly seeped into her, igniting the fire deep within and making her heart pound with love.
She nodded and disengaged herself from the touch. ‘I will.’ She cleared her throat. ‘Are you OK to finish up here?’
‘Aye.’
She turned and headed towards her office, needing to check on Heather before she left. The girl was sitting in Megan’s chair, half leaning over the desk as she dozed.
‘Hey,’ she whispered, and brushed Heather’s hair from her eyes.
‘Megsy? Is it time to go?’
‘Your dad needs to stay for a bit longer.’
‘You’re heading home?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’m coming with you,’ she declared. ‘Is my da’ on the ward?’
‘Yes.’ Megan watched as Heather picked up the phone, dialled the extension number, spoke to her father and then replaced the receiver.
‘All done. I’m sleeping at your place tonight.’ She stood and slipped her arm around Megan. ‘Let’s go. I’m so t
ired.’
And just like that Megan found herself driving them back to her place. It wasn’t that she minded having Heather with her. Quite the opposite—she loved it—but it simply meant that she’d more than likely need to see Loughlin earlier than usual the next morning.
What would happen when they saw each other? Would he come to her place or would it be easier for her to walk Heather the distance between their two houses? Would he expect to eat breakfast with her? Would he look at her over the top of his coffee-cup the way he’d looked at her before, his eyes rich with repressed desire? Would he try to touch her again? Hold her? Kiss her?
Her heart was racing with the possibilities, her mind trying to play through every scenario to try and come up with one that worked best to her advantage and also kept her heart firm and secure. She looked over at Heather, who was snoozing in the passenger seat.
‘Do you like my da’?’ That was the question Heather had asked earlier on that night and Megan had wanted to scream it from the rooftops that she didn’t just like him, she loved him. In one breath she wanted the whole world to know and in the next she wanted to lock her heart up for ever, to ensure it never got hurt again.
Falling in love with Loughlin McCloud had brought her a whole new set of problems and she honestly had no idea how to deal with them. She wished she didn’t have a brain that needed to process everything, that needed to not only think in a logical and rational way but to find the answers that made the most sense—even if it meant denying herself the happiness she’d always craved.
Twenty minutes later, Heather was wrapped up all snuggly and warm in Megan’s spare room and she’d just made herself a cup of soothing herbal tea, needing something to help relax her mind and body. Tonight’s emergency had nothing to do with the way she felt. She was used to the stress that went with her job. No, the reason she needed to relax was quite simply because of the man who was seductive, sexy and Scottish.
She had to figure out what to do to save not only her sanity but her heart as well. She was in love with a man she saw every day. She melted into a mess of hormones whenever he was near. She felt as though her heart would stop at the slightest hint of the electrified tension that existed between them.