Blue Moon Promise

by Colleen Coble

  “God loves us for who we are. We can’t work our way to his love. That doesn’t work here on this earth either. You either love someone for who they are, or you can forget it. Love that is earned is no love at all. It won’t last.”

  Nate’s words struck at Lucy’s heart like an anvil. Was that what she’d been trying to do all her life? Even with God she tried to be good, to be worthy of his love. She tried to control things because she wanted to prove her worth. He loved her in her sin. Why wouldn’t he love her always?

  And now with Nate . . . she’d tried to work her way to his love as well. He either loved her or he didn’t. And with Nate’s words, she realized she desperately wanted to be loved just for being who she was, not for being like Margaret or anyone else. Just for being herself.

  Her blood surged. She would find out now where she stood. If Nate chose to love her, wonderful. If not, she would go on being the best wife she could, but with the gifts God had given her, not the ones he had given Margaret.

  “You wanted to see me?” Lifting her head, she was ready to let him see her face.

  “I reckon I owe you some thanks, young man.” His attention was on the Bible he was closing as the other men stood and began to wander away. “You’ve got sharp eyes.”

  “That’s more than I can say for you, Nate.” Margaret laughed. “That’s no lad—that’s a girl.” She rose and knocked the hat off Lucy’s head.

  Lucy had wrapped a bandanna around her hair to keep it from falling out while she worked and while she slept. She whipped the bandanna off and let her hair flow free. “Hello, Nate.”

  “Lucy!” Nate rose to his feet. “What are you doing here? And where’s Eileen?”

  “I left Eileen with your father. I wanted to come with you, but I was afraid you’d send me back, so I tried to stay out of the way for a few days.”

  “I think it’s time for me to get another cup of coffee,” Margaret murmured. She rose and left Lucy staring into Nate’s eyes.

  “This was very foolish,” Nate said with a frown. “You’re in no shape for this trip. I’ll have to send you back.”

  “I’m fine. Really. We’ve come too far. If you do, the drive will be delayed.”

  “I’ll take you back myself. Wait here while I talk to my trail boss.”

  Lucy’s spirits flagged. He wasn’t even going to give her a chance. He was just sending her back. Her shoulders drooped. She should have let the rustler steal those stupid longhorns. At least she could have avoided detection until they were farther away.

  Nate came back. “We’ll leave in the morning. You’d better get some rest.”

  There was a strange gleam to his eyes Lucy didn’t understand, but right now she was too angry to care. She stormed off. She was too mad to even tell him about the land they owned. He didn’t deserve to hear that news.

  Before she’d gone ten steps, Nate grabbed her arm and hauled her against his chest. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “To bed!” she spat. “You don’t even care about why I came. You just want to pack me off home like a child.”

  Nate gave a heavy sigh. “Lucy, this just isn’t the time or place for an argument. We have a camp full of observers.”

  Lucy glanced around and heat crept up her neck. At least ten men were watching them with great interest. “Fine,” she snapped. “We’ll talk tomorrow. I’ll go back to my bed.”

  “You’re staying here. I’ll send Jed for your bedroll and horse.”

  Lucy clenched her fists. “I’ve been doing just fine on my own.”

  He shook his head. “While I trust my own men to be respectful of my wife, there are some here who signed on just for the drive. I’ll not have you vulnerable.”

  She stalked over to a tree and flung herself down. If he thought he was holding her hand tonight, he could think again.

  When Jed brought her bedroll, she kicked it open and clambered into it. But it was a long time before she slept.

  THIRTY

  He had to tell Lucy. Jed lay in wait for his sister behind a tree near where she slept. The whole camp had been full of the news that she’d come on the drive dressed as a boy. Though he could talk to her in front of Nate, this was private stuff and he wanted only his sister.

  Nate finally rose and moved off in the dark. Jed crept closer until he could touch her arm. “Lucy,” he whispered urgently. He shook her, and her lids fluttered then opened.

  She sat up. Confusion raced across her face. “Is something wrong?”

  He crouched beside her as the memories exploded in his head. “I know what happened that night. The night Dad died. I remember!” He shuddered. “It’s horrible, Lucy. More horrible than you know.”

  “Oh, Jed.” She grabbed his hand. “Are you all right?”

  His chest tightened at the compassion in her voice. “I didn’t want to remember.” She was going to be upset when he told her, but she had to know. “It was my mom.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He could still see his mother’s twisted mouth and threatening stare. “She came to the shop with Albert. She told Dad she wanted the coins. That she was going to disappear but she had to have money. That he owed her for putting up with the kind of life they’d lived.”

  “Where were you when they were arguing?”

  “Putting stuff in the storeroom.”

  “She didn’t see you?”

  He shook his head, still feeling sick as the memories poured in.

  Lucy gave his hand a squeeze. “He’d told her about the coins?”

  “The day before.” Jed could still see the greed in his mother’s eyes. He’d blocked it out.

  “What did Dad say?”

  “He told her no. That if she wanted to leave him, she could leave like the pauper she was when she came. Sh-She picked up a heavy statuette thing and hit him with it.” Jed swallowed hard. “I was peeking around the door. Then Albert and another guy I’d never seen put Dad’s body in the buggy. It was parked in the back. I hid when they came through the storeroom.” He couldn’t help the tears that started down his cheeks. “I should have made them stop.”

  “They were grown men, Jed. There was nothing you could do.”

  “She saw me when she followed them and made me get into the driver’s seat. I took off in the buggy before they could get in. I was trying to get Dad to the doctor, but the rain was coming down so hard.” He gulped and wished he didn’t have to tell her it was his fault.

  “Oh, Jed.” Lucy’s eyes were moist. “She’s pure evil.”

  He had to tell her all of it. “The horses went faster and faster. The next thing I knew, the buggy was tipping over. Then I woke up at home with you beside me. If I hadn’t been driving so fast, maybe I could have gotten him help.”

  “It wasn’t your fault, honey. She killed him.”

  “I wish she weren’t my mother.” Jed swiped the moisture from his face with his sleeve. “I hate her.”

  Lucy buried her face in her hands. “We have to forgive her somehow.”

  “I can never forgive her,” Jed said fiercely. He jumped to his feet and ran back the way he’d come.

  NATE THOUGHT HE saw Jed with Lucy, but by the time he got back to camp, she was sleeping. He couldn’t get over her courage as he watched her sleep in the flickering glow of the fire. And the danger she’d put herself into. What if someone else had discovered she was a woman and taken advantage of her? A chill shuddered up his spine.

  Bo moved into the gleam of the light. “Here’s her pack, Boss.” He tossed it at Nate’s feet.

  Nate thanked him, and when the man melted back into the shadows, Nate picked up the pack and hauled it over by his. It would be easier to combine them all in one. He began to pull items from the roll and grinned when he recognized some of his old clothing from his adolescent years. A warm sensation lodged under his rib cage at the thought of her wearing his clothing. It seemed so intimate.

  “Stanton?”

  He turned at the sound of the
man’s voice. O’Brien stood in the shadows. The other rancher usually had his herd ahead of the Stanton cattle. “Slumming tonight?” Nate asked with a grin.

  “Not exactly.” O’Brien moved closer to the fire and held out his hands to warm them. “I always knew you were nobody’s fool, son, but I didn’t realize just how crafty you are.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  O’Brien nodded at Lucy lying curled in her blanket. “Marrying that little gal was a smart move. I wondered why it all happened so undercover, especially when me and your pa had it all planned out. How we were going to merge our land and eventually acquire the Thompson acreage.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Did you think I wouldn’t find out? Now you and your pa have more land than the rest of us put together. No wonder you had no need of Margaret.”

  Nate pointed to a rock near the fire. “Have a seat and tell me what you’re talking about. The last land Pa bought was the Larson spread. We’re still far behind you in land ownership.”

  O’Brien stared at him. “I’m beginning to think you really don’t know.”

  “I’m getting tired of this game, O’Brien. Say your piece so I can get some shut-eye.”

  “Ten thousand acres of land is what I’m talking about. And your little gal owns it. So that means you own it.”

  Nate had heard O’Brien wanted to buy up the big spread on the Stars Above’s back side. It was mostly Indian territory right now, roamed only by deer and rabbits. Pa had eyed it as well, but the cost would have been astronomical, even if the owner was around to be found.

  “You’re sure?” he asked finally.

  O’Brien’s nod was jerky. “I’ve spent a pocketful trying to track down the owner, and here it’s your own little wife.”

  “Lucy owns the old Thompson spread,” Nate repeated, still unable to wrap his mind around what the rancher was saying. “How is that possible?”

  “Her ma’s maternal grandmother was a Thompson. She had tied the land up in a trust so it always passed to the eldest daughter. She wanted the women in her family to be able to be independent. The land passed to Lucy’s mother, who is dead. Lucy is the oldest, so it belongs to her. You really didn’t know?”

  “I don’t think she knows.” Nate couldn’t believe Lucy would keep something like that from him. But then, she hadn’t told him about the coins either. If Jed hadn’t spilled it, he might not know even now.

  O’Brien snorted. “Bet your Pa did.” He shook his head. “If you want to sell, let me know.” His voice held no hope of that happening though. He turned and stalked away.

  Lucy was sitting up and rubbing her eyes. Her golden hair spilled over her shoulders and caught the light, but Nate hardened his heart at the beautiful sight. Could she have deceived him? Maybe his father had told her not to tell him the marriage was a business arrangement, though Nate had no clue why Pa might hide it.

  “I heard voices,” she said, her voice soft.

  “O’Brien was here. He wanted to buy your land.” He hoped she would at least appear confused, but she looked away. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded.

  “I just found out.” She reached for her pack and dug into it, extracting a creased paper. “It was in the bottom of my mother’s chest. I found it when I was packing to come on this trip. I’m sure Dad assumed it was worthless, if he even remembered Mama owned it. I wanted to make sure it was real, so I checked with the county clerk before coming to find you. I wanted to surprise you.”

  Longing to believe her, he took the heavy, yellowed paper gingerly in his fingers and held it up to read in the fire’s glow. It was a deed to ten thousand acres of land.

  Her gaze stayed on him until he looked up. “We weren’t destitute after all.” She bit her lip and looked down at her hands. “I-Is it worth a lot of money?”

  “Yes. I wonder if Pa knew about it.”

  “How could he?” Her head came up quickly and she frowned. “Wait a minute,” she said slowly. “He mentioned that Mama had inherited some land but that she wanted to live in the city so they packed up and moved away. So he knew she owned it at one time. He even said he would have bought it if it hadn’t been left to my mother.”

  “Pa is no fool. I reckon he went looking for you so he could get control of this.” Nate held up the deed. “He knew your pa had died when he arrived, right?”

  She nodded. “He said Catherine wrote to ask for help.”

  “I bet he’d hoped to buy it from her, but it was passing from your mother, not your father. So he figured he’d get it through marriage.”

  “I—I thought he truly cared about me and the children. That he had come out of love for my parents.”

  He heard the waver in her voice and wanted to take her in his arms. To reassure her that he loved her, but since he’d never told her his feelings in the first place, this wasn’t the time. Not when she seemed to regret having married him. “We need to talk to Pa about this.”

  Her slim shoulders squared and she stood. “To what purpose, Nate? With his heart condition, can we risk upsetting him? He may have known nothing about it.”

  “Oh, he knew. I’m sure of it.” As anger washed over him, he wanted to jump on his horse and ride back home to confront his father. But Lucy was right. His father’s health might not take the stress of an altercation. “We can’t ignore it. I have to know the truth.”

  “If we approach him calmly to discuss it, perhaps he won’t become upset.”

  Nate nodded. “I can try.” He studied her face and wished he could see what she was thinking. “What would you have done if you had known?” he asked softly, already knowing the answer.

  Her small teeth gleamed in the light as she bit her lower lip. “I wouldn’t have had need of your father’s offer.”

  The knowledge caused an ache under his breastbone. When had he begun to love Lucy? It felt as though this feeling had always been part of him. His life would be so empty without her.

  “So what do you think about our marriage now?” he asked.

  “Nothing has changed. If God had wanted me to know about the land, I would have found it before I married you.”

  Her words calmed his heart. “You’re my blessing,” he said, brushing her lips with his. “Get some sleep. We’ll deal with Pa tomorrow.”

  BY THE TIME Nate came leading the horses the next morning, Lucy was sitting on a tree stump sipping a cup of vile coffee. She’d coaxed some sugar from one of the hands. She longed for milk though. Then the coffee might be drinkable.

  When she saw Nate, she poured out the rest of the bitter brew and rose. “I’m ready.”

  “I’d pour it out, too, if it had sugar in it,” he said with a teasing grin.

  She examined his expression. “I should have brought some tea.”

  He walked her to Wanda. “Those britches never looked that good on me.” He helped her mount.

  What had gotten into him today? He seemed almost happy to be leaving the cattle drive.

  They rode in silence to the south, back toward the ranch. At only twenty miles from home, they should reach the main house by early afternoon. The cattle were only able to make fifteen miles a day, but the horses could do forty.

  Nate finally broke the silence. He began showing her wildflowers along the way and told her their names. He pointed out the hawks flying overhead and the eagles atop the bluff they passed. Wasn’t he going to bring up the land? Maybe he didn’t want to talk about it so he kept his anger with his father in check. The landmarks began to be familiar to Lucy. They would be home soon.

  At the crest of the hill above the ranch, Nate reined in his horse. He cleared his throat. “Was Pa in on this all along? About you coming on the cattle drive?”

  She shook her head. “He had no idea until I showed up with Eileen. I had planned to take her with me, but she was sleepy and cranky, and I realized it wouldn’t work.”

  “At least you showed some sense.” He turned in the
saddle and stared at her. “Why do you feel this need to prove yourself, Lucy? You have many talents. They just aren’t with the cattle. I’m not saying you didn’t do a good job as a cowboy. Bo said you were better than most of the tenderfoots he’s worked with. But you hate it.”

  “It’s part of your life, and I want to share your life, Nate. I don’t want to be an appendage who has no relevance to your real life. Your passion is the cattle empire you’re building. You said when we first met that you needed a wife who would work alongside you with the cattle.” She still smarted from those words.

  Nate sighed. “I was wrong, Lucy. I’ve told you I was wrong. I didn’t know what I needed, but God did. I needed you.”

  Tears stung her eyes, but she sniffed and wiped her nose on her sleeve. Was he just saying that? She thought back to the words she’d overheard last night when he was talking to Margaret. She’d tried to earn love all her life by controlling things and being what people needed her to be. Was she even capable of stopping that?

  He reached over and laid his hand on hers. “You don’t have to earn anyone’s respect, Lucy. You have it already.”

  Respect. For a moment she’d hoped he would tell her he harbored stronger feelings than respect. She longed to hear words of love from him. She managed a smile. “We’d better get going.”

  They started down the hill, and Lucy saw the ranch in the distance. Her backside hurt, and she craved a soak in a hot tub. And the softness of a real bed. The horse must have sensed her eagerness because the mare’s pace picked up. Nate kicked his gelding into a canter as well, and they rode the final distance home. The horses plodded to a stop in front of the barn, and Lucy slid to the ground. Her stomach was in knots at the thought of the coming conversation.

  Nate handed the reins to a hand who came to help him. Taking her elbow, he led her to the house. The aroma of chicken cooking wafted to her nose. They found Henry in the parlor reading a story to Eileen, who was sleeping with her head leaning against his knee. He had a blanket over his knees, although the day was far from chilly. Lucy thought the thermometer must read close to ninety. She listened to his deep voice as he read about Alice and her adventures through the looking glass.