Reaching For Risks

by Jemi Fraser

  The past had changed her and she would stay that way until she’d well and truly dealt with it. For years she’d pushed the memories away, tried to ignore them. That hadn’t worked so well.

  Sure, she could jump into bed with Quinn and it would be amazing. Incredible. More.

  But then what? Find out he and his brother were more alike than she believed. There wasn’t a chance she could handle that. Her heart was tipping already and once she’d taken that step, she didn’t know how she’d protect herself. She had to find out for sure that Quinn was who he was proving to be.

  A fling with a stranger was one thing but Quinn was no stranger. They had to live in the same town afterward. And she wasn’t sure she wanted to have a fling.

  Or, just a fling. She might want something more.

  So no screwing it up before it started. Take time and think it through. Talk to him about Philip. Tell him it all.

  “You want to talk about it?”

  Yes.

  No.

  Maybe.

  No.

  Quinn laughed and squeezed her again, kissed her hair, and continued to hold her tightly. “Okay. I’ll take that as a maybe not a never.”

  She nodded against his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist to squeeze him back. “Thanks.” She let her arms play with the muscles she found on his back. “I have to work something out first.”

  He nodded, kissed her hair again while his hands continued to offer comfort. “I’ve got some shit going on, too, Darby. Things I need to sort through.” Another chuckle that warmed her from the inside out. “Probably why I was so pissy earlier. I—“

  Quinn’s phone buzzed, interrupting whatever he was going to say. Another kiss to her hair. “I’m going to ignore that.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  This laugh was louder. “Let me think. Stand here with my arms full of gorgeous, sexy woman or answer a phone that’s probably bringing me nothing but trouble. Tough choice.”

  Darby leaned back and tilted her head back to see him but she didn’t step away. “Trouble? What’s wrong? What’s going on?” And did it have anything to do with Philip?

  Quinn’s turn to shake his head. “Nothing I can’t figure out.” But he didn’t look certain and that tugged at her heart. She’d been only thinking of herself again, attributing all his actions to her. How self-absorbed could she be?

  “Can I help?”

  His smile was slow and sexy, making her toes curl. “You already have.” He kissed her lightly then leaned back with a wicked grin. “But if you really want to think of a way to make me feel better, I’m sure we could come up with twenty or thirty options.”

  Every cell in her body responded to his words and the gleam in his eyes. Twenty or thirty?

  Quinn leaned down until his lips hovered above hers. “And that’s just to start with, Darby. Those eyes of yours make me imagine all kinds of things. When you’re ready, you let me know.” Then his mouth covered hers and her brain shut down to enjoy the sensations pouring through her.

  This time, Quinn was the one to ease back before things got out of her control. His hand brushed over her face and he kissed her forehead with a moan. “Let’s work this other shit out quickly, okay?”

  Her laugh surprised her but it was typical Quinn. Charming. Sweet. Nothing like his brother. Now, she just had to figure out how to talk to him.

  Quinn frowned at her. “There it is, again. That quick flicker of fear. I’d never hurt you, Darby, you have to believe that. I can be a total ass, which you’ve seen proof of, but I’d never hurt you. Ever.”

  She nodded, believing.

  He tilted his head as he studied her. “But someone did. Give me his name and let me take care of him.”

  Should she? Could she?

  Quinn’s phone buzzed again giving her an escape. She eased out of his arms. “Answer that. Sounds like somebody really wants to get a hold of you.”

  Another wicked grin made her realize how he’d taken her words. His eyebrows waggled as he answered his phone without checking the id. Almost immediately, the gleam disappeared and his face hardened. His hand caressed her cheek then reached down to squeeze her hand before he turned and left her alone in the kitchen.

  Darby turned her attention back to the mess she’d created. At the least, she and Quinn had made some steps toward cleaning up their personal mess.

  Who was on the phone? Anger had poured off him in waves but he’d managed to make her realize it wasn’t directed at her.

  Sweet.

  Her fingers drifted to her lips. The kiss had been anything but sweet. Hungry. For her.

  Maybe it was time to track down his scum bucket of a brother and fix the past. Tell him to stay the hell away. The thought of talking to Philip on purpose made her shudder and she turned her attention back to the sink. Maybe cleaning up the physical mess would give her the courage to clean up the mess she’d made of her life.

  QUINN stormed out of the B&B before barking into the phone. “I told you only to contact me if you were ready to let me share those papers with my lawyer. Can I assume that’s why you called?”

  Quinn heard his brother’s teeth grind through the phone. Good. It wouldn’t be fair if he were the only one pissed off. “I was hoping we could meet for a beer.”

  That brought Quinn to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk. “A beer? Since when do we sit down and swap stories over a beer? I bet you probably don’t even drink the stuff. Probably only drink booze that costs triple digits.”

  More grinding. Quinn started walking again, crossed to the boardwalk and down an empty pier. Water carried sounds forever which should help him control his temper.

  “I think it would be a good idea for us to sit down and try to have an adult conversation.”

  “Why?”

  Several beats of silence followed while Quinn imagined Philip’s dentist clapping with glee.

  “We’re brothers. We should be able to have a drink and a conversation without being adversaries.”

  True. And scary that Philip sounded perfectly reasonable, like an older brother should. Was Quinn being unreasonable? Maybe. “Okay. Sounds good to me as long as there’s absolutely no discussion of the papers.”

  Another pause. Philip’s face was likely purple at this point. “Fine.”

  Okay. This ought to be interesting. He assumed it was a ruse to get Quinn to agree but if there was any chance it might not be, he had to take it. “I’ll be at the Boozy Moose in a couple of minutes. You’re picking up the tab.” He hung up and headed south.

  The local bar sat a block back from the waterfront on the main road in from the eastern highway. Out front, a statue tried to prepare you for the inside. Harley the Moose was decked out in leathers and chains, had tattoos on his fur and antlers and a piece of some poor sod’s leather jacket hanging from his mouth.

  The bar hadn’t been renovated since paneling was hip and Scooby Doo had been solving mysteries with Shaggy. Smoking indoors had been banned for years but if you sat close enough to the walls, the scents lingered on.

  Biker memorabilia filled the walls and covered the owners. Darlene might have been old enough to be Quinn’s mother but she wore her leather so tight, he wasn’t sure how she breathed. The red hair piled on top of her head was bold and brassy. It suited her perfectly.

  Quinn chose a table where he could sit with his back to the wall and keep his eye on the door. Darlene brought him a beer. “You looking for company, handsome?”

  He lifted his bottle in salute. “Nope. Not looking for Connie to kill me for one thing. Meeting someone for another.”

  Darlene winked at him and patted him on the shoulder. She propositioned all the regulars but never meant it. She and Connie had owned the bar as long as he could remember. The blonde cook said little but a single glare would have any sane man running for his life. The woman was good with her knives. All of her knives.

  A few minutes later Philip walked through the door. His expression made
Quinn wish he’d thought to take a picture. Distaste. Disdain. Disgust. No one could do those emotions like Philip. He’d learned from the best—their father.

  When his brother turned toward him, Quinn lifted his beer in greeting. Philip nodded and approached. Before he sat, he took out his pocket square and dusted off the chair.

  “Seriously? Do you ever loosen up? You’re not going to get infected.”

  Philip raised his eyebrows and looked around then finally sat. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Do you visit this place often?”

  Quinn shrugged. “It’s the best bar in town.” Also the only bar but he didn’t need to share that.

  He lifted his beer at Darlene and pointed to his brother. She nodded and brought one over putting it down firmly on the table. “Your company needs to watch his manners, Quinn.”

  He nodded in agreement, which seemed to satisfy Darlene and she sauntered away. The woman never simply walked. Every movement was an event. And she knew it.

  Philip’s frown deepened as he looked around for a glass. Quinn took a sip from his bottle. “So, how are things in your corner of the world, Philip? What do you do for fun?”

  His brother took a deep breath and made an obvious effort to erase the frown from his face. “Working with the portfolios consumes a fair portion of my day. I also belong to a few clubs.”

  Boring. “Golf?”

  Philip inclined his head. “I do belong to a country club.”

  Golf wasn’t Quinn’s favorite sport but he could swing a club without embarrassing himself. “I play a few rounds a year. You play in a league?”

  Philip frowned. “I don’t play. I use the club for meetings. Important people belong to the club. It’s an intelligent strategy to be seen in certain venues.”

  His eye drifted around the Boozy Moose, making Quinn grin. Philip’s country club friends would likely pass out in droves after stepping inside. “Appearances are important everywhere.”

  The sarcasm was lost on his brother as he nodded. “Of course.”

  God, what a life. Worrying about appearances and being seen and having meetings. “So, you go to the country club for connections. What do you do for fun?”

  Philip appeared confused by the question. Finally, he shrugged. “I have friends. We meet.”

  Meet. Not talk, hang out, play sports, go to movies. Meet. Like a meeting. Wow. Quinn nodded as if he understood and sipped his beer again. Time for Philip to throw out a conversational gambit. Although if his life was as limited as he was implying, he might not have a clue how to have an actual conversation that didn’t involve money or investing. Or swindling.

  Silence stretched for several minutes before Philip leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and avoiding the tabletop. “Can we get down to business, now?”

  “There is no business tonight, Philip. We’re two brothers having a beer together. Maybe trying to get to know each other a little. We haven’t had a conversation since we were kids. If we ever did. Do you remember ever hanging out and talking?”

  Philip rolled his eyes and sat back. “Your choice as much as mine, little brother. You’ve always been jealous because he taught me about the business. If you’d showed more interest, he’d have treated you better.”

  Quinn leaned forward, elbows on the table, unable to contain a snort of laughter. “Seriously? You think I’m jealous? Of what? I’m not secretly pining to have a life where the only thing I do for fun is to meet people and talk business. And I sure as hell have no desire to see that old bastard again. I never wanted his damn money, still don’t. I walked away because I wanted to, Philip. If I had to go back and do it all over again I’d make the exact same choices. I’m happy with my life.” And he was. He’d spent years worrying about his family when they didn’t matter in the least. Why had it taken him so long to realize it?

  And why was he wasting his time with this when he could be spending it with Darby, having any kind of fun she was willing to try. Hell, washing dishes with her was miles better than sitting here trying to make a connection with someone who didn’t matter in the least.

  He downed the rest of the beer and set the bottle on the table. “Okay, you want to talk business, here it is. I think the old man’s got himself into something shady and I want no part in it. I won’t rescue him from his own mistakes and selfish choices. He’s short-sighted, self-absorbed and old enough to suffer the consequences of his actions. If you’re not handing me the papers to take to my lawyer, I don’t want to see or hear from either of you again.” Quinn shoved back his chair and stood. “I hope you learn how to have some fun, Philip. I really do. Have a nice life.”

  On the way out he waved to Darlene. “The tab’s on him.”

  Darlene, who, along with everyone else on their side of the bar, had probably heard every word, saluted him on the way out.

  Good Morning

  Darby yawned and stretched. Sleeping in was a luxury she didn’t afford herself often but after so many restless nights, she’d tumbled into bed and hadn’t moved until the rain pounded on her window.

  Eight o’clock. She hadn’t slept that long in eons. Or had such delicious dreams. All featuring Quinn in a starring role and leaving her energized and eager to face the day.

  Feeling like a kid who’d snuck the last cookie, she showered and dressed, including some of the new lingerie that made her feel sexy even when it was hidden and finally headed downstairs.

  On the second floor, she realized she didn’t even know if Quinn had returned the night before. He’d been upset about that phone call but she hadn’t waited up this time. Instead, she’d dreamed about ravaging him. Some friend she was. Here she’d been imagining them as more than friends—much more—when she should have been worrying about him instead.

  Her footsteps hesitated as she wondered what would happen if she opened his door. Just to check that he’d arrived home safely, of course.

  Or not.

  Did he sleep in the buff? Boxers or briefs?

  Giggling at herself, she took a step back toward the stairs when his door opened. Wearing a pair of jeans riding low on his hips and carrying his t-shirt in one hand, he looked like her every fantasy come to life. Even better than in her dreams. Muscles rippled across his torso and she wanted to lick every ridge and angle.

  “Morning.”

  She looked up to find his eyes reflecting back the heat building up inside her. At the moment it seemed easy, seemed right. Quinn was a man she could trust. A man who said what he thought and lived as he believed. If she was honest with herself, she knew deep down to her core that he was a good, solid man. Nothing like his brother. That had been fear talking.

  Fear of being hurt. Of taking a risk.

  None of that seemed important.

  She’d made the Risk List for a reason. To help her take the next steps to becoming a real person again.

  She was ready.

  Instead of continuing on toward the stairs she turned back and took a step closer.

  His eyes flared with desire but he didn’t move. Not a muscle. Letting her know he wouldn’t make the choice for her. Wouldn’t take that decision out of her hands. While part of her knew that would be easier for her, she was glad. As a woman, a complete woman, she was able to make that choice.

  Darby wasn’t a virgin but she felt like one. The few guys she’d been with hadn’t stirred any real passion in her. She’d had sex because she’d been trying to prove to herself that Philip hadn’t killed that part of her.

  What she’d felt during those times paled in comparison to how her body reacted to Quinn standing a few yards away. Even from a distance his presence stirred her, made her ache.

  When she took another step toward him, his mouth tilted up at the corners and his eyes sparkled. Her blood heated and pulsed through her veins with a heavy beat. When she paused his gaze roved down to her breasts and they tingled in response. His smile turned predatory as she felt her nipples harden.

  Another step and her foot f
altered as his eyes caressed her curves. Approval and desire shone from him, giving her the confidence to move closer.

  And closer.

  She stopped when their toes were only an inch apart. Apart from his lips, he hadn’t moved. Her decision. If she turned away, he’d follow her, put on his shirt and a smile and then make her laugh.

  Her choice.

  Darby reached out and touched his chest with a brush of her fingers. His muscle flexed so she smiled and did it again. His sharp intake of breath made her bolder and she lifted her other hand to trace the fascinating ridges. Giving in to her first thought she leaned closer and put her tongue to his chest.

  Quinn groaned softly but otherwise didn’t move. His skin tasted lightly of salt and the soap he’d used in the shower. Addictive. She didn’t attempt to resist, letting her tongue roam as her fingers drifted to his shoulders and down his arms.

  Muscles flexed and blood pumped and leaving Darby giddy with power and desire.

  Looking up through her lashes, she found his eyes trained on hers. Pure power. Pure heat. All directed at her.

  She smiled and lifted her head to look at him full on. “Morning.”

  Humor sparked in his eyes. “Are you wanting to get started on painting that last bedroom, Darby?”

  His husky voice sent shivers over her skin and she shook her head. Her hands moved back up his arms and around his neck to play with his still-damp hair. “Nope.”

  His hands finally—finally—moved and landed on her hips. Heat seared and made her squirm in place. “How about the deck? Were we going to landscape that today?”

  Up on her toes, she kissed one collarbone then the other. “Nope.”

  “No plans for the morning, then?” His deep voice practically skimmed over her skin, setting off flames as it moved.

  “I think we might be able to come up with a plan or two.” She kissed his chest again. “Or was it twenty or thirty? I’m not sure. Any ideas?”