In Pursuit of Light

by Sarah B Meadows

  “Perhaps he was trying to soothe the boy’s mind after the trauma,” I try rationalising. Gerry tilts his head in consideration, then goes back to typing.

  Looking up at the clock, I see it’s time to shift my arse into gear. “If ya see the guys, tell ‘em I’ve finished the blade. Once they think Kia’s up for it, I’ll come and remove the cuffs,” I say, pushing my chair back. Gerry nods, but continues to stare at his screen. I step over to the sink to wash my bowl and then pick the fruit, energy bars and water up as I pass.

  Pausing at the kitchen door, I turn to the bear. “Gerry,” I call. He pulls his eyes up to look at me. “Go to bed before ya scare your own shadow, would ya?” I jest with a smile. He gives me the middle finger as he returns his attention back to the laptop. I laugh lightly but really hope he does get some sleep. The man is a nightmare when he’s on edge - add to it the lack of sleep, and he could easily give a Gjinn a run for its money.

  The thought of the Gjinn pulls me to a stop at the front door and I look to the right down the corridor that leads to Seb’s room. Sighing deeply, I pick up my bag and make my way out of the house, silently hoping that the stones hold for a few hours whilst Jack’s gone. Fingers crossed.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Gerry

  Finishing the last of the data entry that needed to be sent over to Ben, I shut the laptop down and feel my eyes stinging from lack of sleep. Brad’s right, I’m desperately in need of a shower and some shut eye. My shoulders are tense, and my neck is stiff from all the tension that’s built up inside me. As I rub my hands over my face to try and wake myself up, my mind goes back to the girl that’s in the house. The need to find out who she is and see her with my own eye’s crawls through me.

  I trust my senses implicitly. If something doesn’t feel right, I listen to my gut without hesitation. A part of my soul is embedded with the need to know not only where my family is at all times, but that they’re safe.

  Once I’ve met a person, I can usually tell what their intentions and motives are within a moment of looking into their eyes and reading their body language. Knowing all it would take is a flick of my eyes to quell my anxiety, I look over to the kitchen door with longing.

  Shaking my head, I sigh deeply and admit that taking a shower is most likely a better idea right now than trying to force my way in to see the girl. I stink, and I want to get the filth from those dickheads off of me. Snatching up my laptop, I head out of the kitchen and up the stairs before turning left to head toward my room. The house is incredibly quiet and the only noise creeping through the silence is coming from an open window, most likely in Brad’s bedroom.

  Setting the computer down on my desk, I head to the bathroom to take a much-needed shower. Adjusting the settings on the nozzle so that it’s at full power, I step under the water and instantly feel some of the tension leave my neck. The water runs slightly brown and I start scrubbing hard to get as much dirt and grime off my skin as possible. Seb’s pool would do a better job at getting some of these knots from my neck, but the heat from the shower will have to do. Switching the water off and stepping out, I wrap a towel around my waist and face the oval mirror over the sink. Shit. I look like death warmed over.

  Deep bags sit under my eyes and the hair around my face never looks good when it’s at this length. I’ve grown it out before and it worked for a while. But days on the road without the means of maintaining it, I soon start looking rough. The boys said I was scaring those we were trying to help, so the beard went.

  Taking some gel and a clean razor, I start the process of shaving. Not much can be done about the deep bags, so the half zombie look will have to do. Once done, I lean over the sink and zone out for a minute. My thoughts turn back to the time when it was just Rolland, Seb, Brad and me. We hadn’t met Matt or Jack, and we had travelled across America, trying to find a place that felt right, like home. We could never stay long in any one place, as people would start to notice that we hadn’t aged.

  After spending years on my own and not understanding why I was so different, meeting the guys finally gave me a sense of family and normality in my life. But the need to protect them from everything began to overwhelm me and the panic attacks started. With a lot of work and help from Brad, Rolland and Seb, I found ways to deal with them. A slow process, but once we realised what was triggering them, they were easier to deal with most of the time. People I don’t know or haven’t met being in our home is a key trigger for me. And when information about that person is withheld, it’s a recipe for disaster.

  Sauntering back to my room, I tug on some comfortable slacks and pull a dark hoodie over my head before turning the tv onto something mundane. My hope is that it will drown out my thoughts so that I can switch my brain off for a few hours. Thankfully, I soon find my eyes drooping, and I drift off.

  Glasses clinking against one another stirs me awake, and I drag myself out of the dreamless sleep I was in. Glancing at the clock, it reads 1:22 pm. Damn, I could so do with more shut eye right now.

  Noise from the kitchen filters up to my room and my senses are on high alert thanks to the stranger in the house. Knowing that I won’t settle again now that I’ve woken, I grumbling as I pull myself to my feet and make my way down to see who the elephant is stomping around in the kitchen. Most likely Matt. Perfect. Just the boy I was hoping to see.

  Rounding the corner at the bottom of the stairs with my mind still half asleep, I hear the tap running. Pushing the door open, I find Matt filling up a clear glass jug that has a stone nestled at the bottom. He looks up and freezes slightly before looking back at the tap. His heart rate spikes, but he doesn’t seem as nervous as he usually does when I’m cranky. Interesting, that’s the second time he’s overcome his jitters around me in the last few hours.

  Closing the door behind me, I lean back against it. He’s not trapped, but I’m not going to make this easy for him. I want some answers as to why he didn’t speak up sooner, and how he managed to keep the Gjinn out of his mind.

  He turns the tap off, setting the jug to the side. His thumb twitches slightly on the water jug, as he takes a deep breath before leaning both arms on the counter to look up at me through his glasses. His casual light blue shirt is rolled up at his elbows, highlighting his grey eyes slightly.

  “What do you want to know, Gerry?” he sighs heavily as he releases his breath, but his heartbeat remains calm.

  That's strange, his heartbeat is usually all over the place. “Why didn’t you speak up when you went to Paris? We agreed to have no secrets and to speak openly with each other,” I ask mildly. He clenches his jaw when I say he’s been keeping secrets, but apart from that, he’s still holding it together. I’m impressed.

  “I wasn’t keeping secrets, Gerry. I didn’t know what was going on and it was like following a ghost,” he says through clenched teeth. His heart rate finally picks up, and I can smell fear coming from him, causing me to narrow my eyes at him.

  He continues, knowing I’m picking up on all his body language. “I feel so much guilt that it’s suffocating me. You have no idea of the things I saw and then to find out they were actually real-” he pauses and looks down at his feet. Hurt radiates from him, and a small part of me feels bad for pushing the subject. “None of us would have survived that, not even Brad, I don’t think,” he speaks so softly it’s almost a whisper. What? Hearing Seb’s list of her injuries turned my stomach earlier, but to see another one of the guys crumbling like this is even more concerning.

  Feeling remorseful for making Matt feel this badly, I step away from the door and make my way over to him. He looks up and turns his head to me. His light skin looks slightly paler than usual, most likely due to lack of sleep, and I can't help but wonder if he’s managed to get any at all.

  “I can’t put into words why I feel like I do around her, but-” he flicks his eyes over me as though he is unsure of how I’ll react to what he’s going to say. “Just don’t be too hard on yourself for being such a dick.” What the
actual Fuck? Is he for real? My face pulls in, confused at his words.

  He lumbers toward the door carrying the water jug and stops, turning to face me. “I’m heading out shortly to meet up with Aaron regarding a lead and drop Gregg off a sample found in the bullet Seb pulled from Rolland. The bullet pulled from Kia was completely clean, not a single trace. Rolland and Kia have both finally fallen asleep and I’m not sure how much longer Rolland is going to hold out. He looks worse than he did back in Korea.” Fuck!

  Matt turns and walks out of the kitchen, leaving me stunned. Rolland in Korea was fucking shit. He nearly pushed himself too far. But he wouldn’t stop or listen to any of us as he spent days easing the hurt and emotions from people until his body finally gave out.

  My mind is still exhausted, and my body could do with a shit ton more rest. Knowing I’m not going to get answers anytime soon, I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and head back up to my room. Everything else is just going to have to wait for now.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Matt

  Sauntering back to Seb’s room with a fresh jug of water, I quietly set it down on the bedside table. The stone won’t take long to work, and there’s still a full glass left from before. I settle back on the chair to finish up a few emails that need to be sent, being sure to keep an eye on the time. Aware I’ll need to leave shortly, I’m hoping that either Seb or Rolland will wake up soon.

  As I glance up to check on them, I find Kia’s eyes watching me steadily. I offer her a small smile, which she returns, warming my heart. I wish I could see it more.

  I click send on the last email and shut the laptop down, placing it on the chair beside me before taking the glass of water from the bedside cabinet. I move over to the bed, careful not to shift Seb too much. The longer he can stay sleeping, the better.

  “Do you want a drink?” I offer lightly. Kia’s sapphire eyes look deep into mine, and it’s like she’s searching for something again. A small perplexed frown crosses her face, and I notice the earpieces are still in, so she probably didn’t hear me. Leaning over carefully, I pluck one from her ear to see her eyes widen a little before she sits up.

  Rolland stirs in his sleep, reflexively shifting her higher so she’s sitting more comfortably. Kia looks down at him as her shoulders relax, letting out a soft breath, she seems to lose herself in her thoughts for a few moments.

  I sit back up straighter, my movement catching her attention. “Would you like a drink?” I ask again with a smile. She nods, taking the glass from my hand. Then brings it to her lips, taking a tentative sip. Rolland grumbles, mumbling something under his breath. Kia continues to drink, but very slowly, her face in deep concentration.

  “Kia, stop it. I’m awake, so stop trying to cover it up,” Rolland mumbles sleepily, throwing a muscular arm over his eyes. Kia finishes the water and passes the glass back to me. I recheck the time and see that I’ve still got a few minutes before I need to leave.

  “Rolland, I need to head out soon with the sample and meet up with Aaron, but I won’t be gone too long,” I tell him quietly.

  Rolland waves a hand. “Seb, wake up. Matt’s heading out, and I’m not ready to open my eyes yet,” Rolland groans deeply. Seb doesn’t move a muscle. “Seb, wake up, your beauty sleep is over,” he says a little louder. Still nothing. Kia moves off his lap with a mischievous look on her face.

  “Kia, what are you up to?” Rolland's asks curiously. She keeps one hand on his chest, sliding off so she’s closer to Seb. “That’s just mean, Kia,” he chastises lightly. How does he know what she’s thinking?

  Kia runs her hand up Seb’s caramel-toned arm. He makes a noise in the back of his throat in response, but still doesn’t move. She continues to run her fingers up and down his arm, her eyes changing colour. Seb makes another noise and his hand twitches where it rests on his hip. Kia moves her hand to his neck, running it up the side of his dark stubbled cheek. She stops and pulls in a quick breath.

  “You’re in so much trouble, Kia,” Rolland warns as he takes away the arm resting over his eyes and rubs himself, trying to push down the stiffness in his pants. He turns over, burying his face into the pillow.

  Seb finally moves and pushes himself up onto his right arm, so he’s face to face with Kia, before he lunges forward to claim her lips, kissing her hard. Rolland tries to pull her back with his left arm that’s still looped around her waist.

  “Please, Seb, this is so mean. You’re both so mean,” Rolland whines into the pillow.

  Kia’s arm leaves Rolland’s chest as she tugs Seb toward her. I feel myself getting hard just watching and I wonder what’s wrong with me. Is this normal? Then again, why am I questioning what’s normal? None of us are.

  Kia makes a small noise of frustration as Seb moves his mouth down her neck, sucking at the skin there for a moment before pulling away. He gets up off the bed and strolls toward the bathroom, his noticeable hardness mirroring the one in my own pants. Looking back at Kia, I can’t help but quietly laugh at the death glare she is aiming at Seb’s back.

  Remembering it’s just about time for me to go, I glance down at my watch before picking up the laptop from the chair and heading over to the bathroom door. “Seb, I’ll be back in a few hours. I’m dropping that sample off and meeting Aaron in town. Message me if you need anything,” I explain, trying to speak clearly so he can hear me through the door.

  The toilet flushes and then the tap runs before Seb appears in the doorway, looking a lot fresher than he did prior to them all taking a nap. “No worries. You find traces on those bullets?” he queries as he leans against the door jamb of the bathroom.

  “Kia’s was clean, but the other was a match to the one I pulled out in Paris,” I say, watching Seb’s face reflect my own thoughts. “Yeah, but it just confirms what we already know, not who they are,” I tell him.

  “When you get back, we can go over what intel you have and maybe see if anything matches up to Gerry’s,” he suggests, straightening his solid frame out.

  Jerk-brains Gerry. I’d prefer to stay out of his way till he’s calmed down some more, but who knows when that’s going to happen. Figuring it’s better to keep that thought to myself, I stay quiet.

  “Have you spoken to him yet?” Seb asks, raising a dark arched eyebrow a fraction.

  “Yeah, I think I woke him up. He was slightly more tolerable, but still being sour,” I sigh, before glancing over at the bed to see Kia fiddling with the earpieces to my iPod. As I amble over to Rolland’s side of the bed, I hear Seb making his way out of the room. Taking earphones from her, she startles slightly but smiles sweetly when she sees it’s me. Each smile feels like it’s connected to my heart, slowly mending the pieces that were broken by seeing her in those visions.

  “See this small hole? It has to go to the front and in your ear first,” I explain, sliding one into her ear. She looks at the other one with puzzlement and tries herself. It takes her a few attempts, but she manages in the end, and my reward is to get another beautiful, genuine smile from her. I smile back, happy that I’ve brought some comfort to her.

  She tugs at my arm bringing me closer to her face. Without second thinking it, I accept her gentle kiss as her hand encourages my head closer. I hear the chains on her cuff clink in my ear and my face heats, but another part of me doesn’t care. Kissing her back, I trace my tongue over her lips. Her mouth opens, and as she flicks her tongue over mine, everything else around me seems to fade out. Pushing my tongue further into her mouth, she breathes in, pulling harder on my head. My free hand finds her cheek and I stroke my thumb over it, running my finger along her neck. Kia urges me further forward and I hear Rolland grumble something, but I don’t listen to him. Kia fills my senses and all I want to do is dive deeper into her. Her tongue traces my teeth and it’s almost as if I can feel her tracing the length of my hardness. I make a grunt of appreciation as I try and find my way deeper into her mouth.

  “Matt, stop!” The panic in Rolland's voice snaps me out of
it.

  I ease back from Kia’s lips to find us leaning quite far back with her hands around my neck, clinging to me like a monkey, her arms the only things supporting her weight. Any further and we would have lost balance and ended up with her laying on her back. Bugger, that was too close.

  Kia’s eyes are swirling intensely and they’re full of silver specs. I can’t seem to move and my balance is beginning to tilt forward.

  “Rolland, a little help, please. She’s got me trapped.”

  Kia’s eyes swirl faster, and I can’t help but move torward to her lips again, pushing her further back. Kia tilts to the right before her lips find mine, followed by her energy pouring down my throat and into my chest. She bites my lip, then let’s go to turn from me to her right.

  Released from whatever trance she had me in, I manage to straighten myself out slightly. Her energy still swirls in my chest, warming my body all the way through as I turn my head to see Rolland kissing Kia’s ear and neck. She drops her arms from around my neck, releasing me completely. Taking the opportunity to get out, I make as little noise as possible and slip out of Seb’s room.

  What in the ever-loving hell was that?

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Rolland

  I kiss Kia’s neck as I work my way up to her ear and I can feel her desire pool deep within me. I’m in so much trouble with this girl. I can’t get enough of her, and all I want to do is bury myself deep within her.

  Kia’s hand moves up my body as her energy travels faster, sinking into my chest then making its way down to my stomach. It seems to tug on my already hard cock, making me grunt as I pull her on top of me, careful not to move too fast.

  Every feeling from her flutters through me, and it’s as if I’m hearing her thoughts, but not in words. Her intentions and thoughts seem to flit across my mind like projections, although some of the images make no sense. The first few are of us kissing deeply, but then they change into patterns and colours that fill my head.