How Many Times Do I Have to Say I'm Sorry? (Maudlin Falls)

by Lesli Richardson

  “Love you—OW, dang it, Jester!”

  Snickering, I take a few pictures of my kitchen before letting myself out and heading to work.

  * * * *

  When Desi finally arrives a little after ten, he’s dressed in jeans and a short-sleeved pullover, and his arms are covered in scratches.

  I can’t help it—I start laughing.

  After he stows his laptop case and other things in his new office, he walks into mine, where he sighs and drops into one of the chairs in front of my desk. “I deserve that.”

  “Yeah, you do.” I lean back in my chair. “Want to tell me what happened?”

  He does, and I roar with more laughter as he admits to giving Jester the jar of peanut butter.

  “You jackass. There’s a squirt bottle right there on the counter. That’s all you have to do and he’ll leave it alone.”

  “I didn’t know!”

  “You didn’t ask.”

  “You were asleep.”

  I grin. “How’d that work for you?”

  “Not very well,” he grumbles.

  I take pity on him. “It’s all cleaned up?”

  “Yeah, it’s all cleaned up. Sorry about that.”

  “Hey, I’m not the one who had to clean it up.”

  Our gazes lock and he cracks first. A soft giggle, echoed by me, that builds and grows until we’re both howling with laughter.

  I point at my phone once I can finally talk again. “I got pictures of the floor.”

  He snickers. “Yeah, I took a couple of him, too, before I bathed him.” He shakes his head. “Not exactly how I planned to wow you this morning.”

  I grin. “I guarantee you, I will never forget this morning.” I stand and he stands with me, and that’s when I show him my left hand.

  What I’m wearing on it.

  His smile fades as his gaze widens. “Really?”

  “Really.” I hold up the other ring. “Any man who’s willing to own up to his messes and try to clean them up the way you are deserves a chance.” I take his left hand and slide the ring onto his finger. “I love you.”

  He grabs me and kisses me and, for a moment, the rest of the world disappears. “Love you, too, babe. So much.”

  * * * *

  The next week passes in a blur. We’re not going to set a wedding date just yet, but we’re going to wear our rings.

  For now, that’s enough for me. I know we need to do this the smart way and set up everything in a prenup first, draw up our wills, all of that. We drive down to Miami on Thursday, because he wants to be at the office first thing Friday morning to clear out his office.

  I know Desi isn’t looking forward to breaking the news to his parents. Mostly the news about him leaving the firm and leaving Miami. Ironically, the news about him marrying me isn’t what he’s worried about, because at least they’re not homophobic bigots.

  They’re just very…classist, I guess?

  I always sensed his mom resented me. Before all of this, I didn’t realize how much of that was due to the fact that she wants to live vicariously through her son’s achievements. I mean, it takes the wind out of her sails if she feel she needs to hide the fact that he walked away from a job making a lot of money to return to a quiet small town, restart his practice there, and settle down with the man he loves.

  That’s not very flashy, to be sure. Not when she’s got friends whose children are doing amazing things all over the globe in a wide variety of activities both personal and professional.

  Desi wants to pack up the condo and get the truck loaded before telling her. So we can get out of town quickly once it’s done. I hope that timeline works for him, except I have a feeling Freddy might still spill the beans to Desi’s parents before Desi’s ready to deal with them. That was one wet-hen angry dude when he left my house. According to Desi, Freddy’s supposed to be terminated from the firm today. Once that occurs, who knows what’ll happen with the guy?

  Don’t feel sorry for Freddy one bit, either. Desi’s mine.

  Thank god.

  Desi’s arranged for a real estate agent to meet us at the condo Friday morning after we return from clearing out his office, so she can take pictures before we start packing and making a mess. Our goal is to leave Miami on Monday morning at the latest. We might be able to leave Sunday, depending how fast we can complete the packing.

  As we drive to Miami, we don’t talk much about the confrontation I’m certain hovers not too far over the horizon. Part of me knows Desi’s dedicated to me. He’s wearing his ring, isn’t he?

  Part of me still replays Freddy’s barbs in my head and wonders if I made the right decision.

  I hope I did. I love this man and want to spend the rest of my life with him.

  Late Thursday evening, we’ve just arrived at his condo when his personal phone rings.

  He groans and answers. “Hi, Mom.”

  I leave him there in the living room and head to his bedroom, to the master bathroom there. I don’t want to listen to him talk to his mother. All I want to do is get a good night’s sleep so we can kick butt in the morning. We’re picking up the moving truck on the way to the office. We brought some boxes with us, so we can get started on the kitchen tonight, but the bulk of the moving will take place tomorrow and Saturday.

  I emerge from the bathroom to find him sitting on the end of the bed and looking morose. “Well?”

  “Mom and Dad are on their way over here.”

  My gut tightens. “And?”

  “I’m going to tell them when they get here.”

  I don’t know what to say to that, so I stare at him and wait for him to continue.

  “Freddy just left their place, sobbing his heart out to them.” He looks disgusted. “Obviously, his story bears little resemblance to the truth.”

  Relief fills me and I walk over to sit on the end of the bed next to him. “And?”

  “I told her Freddy’s a liar and if they want the truth they need to come here now.”

  “You told them to come over?”

  “Yeah. I’m not waiting. They already know something’s up.” He reaches for my hand and laces fingers with me. “You’re still stuck with me.”

  I tightly squeeze. “Do you want me to leave while you talk to them?”

  “Absolutely not. You’re my fiancé and I love you.”

  My heart swells with joy. That’s the first time he’s used that particular word within my earshot, at least.

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” He frowns. “Wait, did you worry I’d—”

  I silence him with a kiss. “I love you—stop talking.”

  Twenty minutes later, the door buzzer sounds and I’m standing next to Desi when he opens the door.

  His mom reacts first and instantly. “What are you doing here?”

  “Hello, Mrs. Keiser. Long time, no see.”

  “Desiderio, what is the meaning of this?”

  Desi waves them in and closes the door behind them. “Let’s cut right to the chase—I’ve resigned from the firm and I’m moving back to Maudlin Falls to marry Tom. I’m listing the condo tomorrow.”

  I don’t think we could have shocked her more if we’d both sprouted extra heads and eyeballs. “What? You can’t do that!”

  “I already have done it, Mom.” He drapes an arm around my shoulders. “Freddy got fired because of a lot of things he’s done that are shady, not just because of what he tried to do to me. I was the last straw.”

  “B-but you make so much money!”

  Desi’s voice drops, deep and cold. Vicious. “Last time, Mom. I’ll write you and Dad a check you can go deposit in the bank to reimburse you for my college and law school education. Take it or don’t, I don’t care. But this is the absolute last time you throw it in my face that you paid for me to go to college.”

  “What are we supposed to tell our friends?” she wails.

  His father quietly stands behind her, arms crossed over his chest as he stares at his feet. He looks v
ery uncomfortable, but I suspect it has more to do with her than Desi’s revelation.

  “How about the truth? That your son is an attorney, he’s very happy with the man he’s going to marry, and he’s returned to Maudlin Falls to be with him. If you’re ashamed of your son, that’s your problem, not mine. It’s not my job to be an accessory for you to flash in front of your friends.”

  Her mouth gapes like a fish and she’s about to speak again when Desi’s father lays a hand on her shoulder and squeezes, silencing her.

  “Son, I’m very happy for you both.” He makes a point of looking me in the eyes. “I always did like you, Tom. If this is what Desi wants and needs to be happy, then of course you have our love and support.”

  His mom’s head snaps around as she stares at him. “But—”

  “No buts,” his dad says, cutting her off. “I love Desi. I’m done letting you try to mold him to whatever perfect vision you have in your brain about his life. Time for you to let go.” He returns his focus to Desi. “Of course you aren’t going to pay us back for college. We wanted you to be able to make a living for yourself, and you are. If we needed the money, it’d be different, but we don’t. Will you let us take you boys out for dinner?”

  I follow Desi’s lead and he looks relieved. “Thanks, Dad. Yeah, that’d be nice.” They hug, then his dad hugs me. “You might as well call me Dad, too, son,” he says. “We’ve certainly known you long enough.”

  His mom stands there, stunned. “We need to talk about this, and—”

  “The only thing we’re talking about,” his father says, “is where we’re going for dinner. Just stop it. Now.”

  Her mouth snaps shut and she stares at him, but I think Desi’s dad just found his spine.

  Finally.

  Thank goodness.

  Later that night, as we’re lying in bed with full stomachs, we’re too tired and emotionally wrung out to do anything but hold each other and talk.

  “I think your mom finally realizes her hold on you is over.”

  “Yeah,” he says, snuggling me tighter against him. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For your patience.” He kisses me. “For forgiving me. For the second chance.”

  “Yeah, well, you’re worth it.” A sweet quiet fills the room. “As long as you don’t give our cat peanut butter again.”

  He bursts out laughing and it’s the best sound in the world next to him telling me he loves me.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Four Weeks Later…

  Desi

  Sitting on the back porch late this Friday afternoon, I take a deep breath and enjoy the sweet scent of fresh-mown grass and savor the satisfaction of a job well done. I’d forgotten how much I enjoy this chore.

  I despised going to the gym. At least with activities like this to stay on top of, it helps keep me from getting totally flabby.

  And with the guy I love by my side, and now that I don’t work in a cut-throat firm that places a premium on appearances, I don’t need to struggle to stay unnaturally tight and firm all over. Tom loves me the way I am, for who I am, and I’m enough for him.

  During my absence from this most perfect of places, I’d forgotten how wonderful that feeling was, too.

  “Maow.”

  I look over. Jester is staring at me from where he’s sitting inside his new catio. “Hey, buddy. Like your new digs?” We finished it last weekend. It was something we’d talked about building for him when we first adopted him, but didn’t get around to before I left. Tom never had the heart or energy to do it after I was gone.

  He walks over to the side closest to me and rubs his head against the wire mesh keeping him safely contained in the “outside” space. The little pet door in the bottom of the door from the kitchen can be locked to keep him securely inside the house when we’re not home. There’s also a door in the catio leading to the backyard, but we set it up so it can’t be opened from the outside, only if you’re in the catio. And it latches automatically when it closes, so someone can’t break in from the outside. Plus, we put a barrel bolt on the inside of that door to doubly secure it. There’s less risk of him accidentally getting out that way.

  But at least his days of obsessing over stealing the peanut butter jar seem to have ended, now that he has a new distraction. He’s spent hours out here watching the birds and squirrels eat in the new feeders I’ve put out and keep filled. We make sure he’s securely in the house when we’re gone, but in the mornings and evenings before and after work, he can come and go from here.

  So this is what contentment feels like.

  I take a sip from my bottle of beer, my post-chores reward. I earned it, and hope Tom will be pleased when he gets home and sees he doesn’t have to do anything this weekend except relax and spend time with me.

  I’m hoping to talk him into taking a picnic at the falls. It’s been far too long since we’ve done that.

  Kelly called me this morning in tears—happy tears—that the first direct deposit of child support hit her account overnight. I guess Dennis wasn’t happy about the wage garnishment I filed for once I tracked him down at his secret girlfriend’s apartment—a girlfriend his other girlfriend didn’t know about—but that’s not my problem. It’s that, or he goes to jail. I’ll stay on his ass about it until he’s caught up everything he owes, establishes a record of making timely payments, and I’m convinced he’s not going to slack off again.

  In other words, probably until both boys are over eighteen.

  For the second time in just a few weeks, I feel really good about being a lawyer. Which was the main reason I wanted to get into law in the first place. It was my mom who wanted me to make a lot of money with my career and kept harping on me to go to work for a larger firm.

  I’m a little slow sometimes, but once I finally pry my head out of my butt, I do okay for myself.

  A little over four weeks ago, we pulled the moving truck up to the garage and started unloading my things into it. I’ve just about got everything unpacked and the garage cleared out again.

  It feels darned good to be home.

  “Maow.”

  I stand up and walk over to him so I can scratch his head through the wire. “I’m going to take a shower, buddy.” I finished working early this Friday so I could come home and do this and a few other chores. I hit the Pig on the way home to stock up with groceries. We shouldn’t have to leave the house if we don’t want to until Monday morning.

  When I head inside, I hear Jester hit the little flap on his cat door and he zooms past me and up the stairs, racing me to the bedroom. I’d missed this little guy something fierce. Now we’re talking about maybe driving up to the shelter in Colley and adopting a second cat to keep him company.

  I’m in the shower when I hear Tom enter the bathroom.

  “The yard looks great, babe.” He pokes his head into the shower and I give him a peck on the lips.

  “Thanks. Now we can relax all weekend.” I waggle my eyebrows at him. “Want to join me in the shower?”

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  * * * *

  Tomas

  I quickly undress and join him in the shower.

  As we usually do in situations like this, we use up all the hot water. Once we’re out and drying off, I remember what I wanted to tell him. “Keith Barnes came in today to start pricing out materials.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. Kelly already landed one grant and they’re going to start refurbishing the church and schoolhouse first.”

  “That’s great!”

  “Yeah. You’re a genius.” I kiss him again. “Thank you for thinking of that.”

  He wears a bashful smile. “I’m glad my luck finally changed for the better.”

  “Yeah, you haven’t flattened a tire or locked your keys in the car since you moved back.”

  He snaps me with his towel, making me laugh. Once we’re dressed we head downstairs, Jester following us, so we can cook dinner.<
br />
  I’ve been thinking about this all day and now that I’m home, I can have this conversation with him. “Any ideas about next weekend?” I ask.

  “I don’t have anything planned. Why? What did you want to do?”

  “Get married.”

  He nearly drops the jug of milk and I laugh as I help him catch it.

  “Really?” he asks.

  I nod. “Really.” We’ve both been wearing our rings ever since that day in my office. The only time either of us take them off is if we’re cooking something that they would get in the way of preparing, or if we’re doing a chore that might be dangerous if we keep them on.

  Otherwise, they’re always on our fingers.

  We get the milk safely set on the counter and Desi pulls me in for a long, deep kiss. “I’ll get the paperwork done and we can get the license on Monday. Do you want your parents here?”

  “I don’t really want anyone else here for this. Let’s get a notary and however many witnesses we need and go up to the falls and do it there. We’ll let everyone throw us a reception later when both sets of parents can come.”

  He nods. “Whatever you want, babe.”

  “I just want you, and for our life going forward to continue being like this.” To be honest, it’s felt like he never left. I worried that I might get angry and have moments where I wanted to yell at him for leaving…but no.

  I don’t.

  Having him back has been amazing and everything he does shows me he’s sorry he left and hurt me.

  I have no doubts about him, or his love for me.

  Or the fact that I want him to be my husband and spend the rest of our lives together.

  Desi blinks back tears. “Love you so much.”

  I kiss him, tightly holding him. “Love you, too.”

  Jester, not wanting to be left out, twines around our feet as we stand there holding each other. “Maow!”

  We look down. “You’re stuck at home that day, sorry. I don’t want to worry about you getting loose.”