As I climbed down, she crossed the road and fell into my arms as easy as sweet potato pie. “Hey there, cowboy.”
I held her close, ignoring the July heat that made everything sticky. “I’m scared to hug you back,” I said, even though I already had my arms around her. “You look too pretty to mess up.”
She bit her lip shyly, her eyes darting to the tractor. “I know how you can make it up to me.”
My heart sank. “You aren’t going to believe this, but I still have to fertilize this field before I can go anywhere. I feel so bad—I’ve been looking forward to our date all week, and now I’m messing it up.”
She continued to worry her lip until I couldn’t stand it anymore and had to intervene. Using my thumb, I gently tugged her lip loose and then brushed my finger over her chin. “How can I make this better?” I asked softly.
Her eyes sparkled in a new way, one that spoke of a challenge to be met. “I want to learn to drive the tractor,” came her unexpected reply.
“You do?” I asked, stunned. Of all the ideas I had running through my mind, driving the tractor wasn’t even close.
“I do,” Harper replied. She ran her hands up my chest and tipped her chin so she could meet my eyes. “I want to be part of your world. How am I supposed to do that if I don’t even know how to drive a tractor? You are in one over 50% of your life.”
I searched her bright blue eyes and found nothing but earnestness and excitement. I broke into a smile—something that happened a lot when Harper was involved. “Did I ever tell you how cute you are when you make up statistics?”
She smacked my arm. “I’m a doctor. It’s against our code to make up statistics.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, but since I’m dating a farmer, there might be some leeway.”
I’d held back from kissing her as long as I could. Placing my hands on her hips, I pulled her body flush with mine and pressed my lips to hers. Her lips were hotter than the July sun, and I couldn't get enough.
She pulled back. “So is that a yes, darling, you can drive my tractor?”
I laughed. “It’s a yes.”
“Yes!” She jumped and raised both hands in the air. “Let’s do this.” She scrambled up into the seat, and I squished into the side where she had been that first night with Astrid.
“Have you ever driven a clutch?” I asked.
“Nope,” she said, looking up at me with her forehead creased with worry. “Is that a problem?”
“Definitely not,” I answered. I’d learned to drive when I was ten, so it shouldn’t be too hard to teach her. Besides, this way we could fertilize the field and spend time together.
“Let's start with the basics. That pedal there is the clutch, and this here is the gearshift, or stick. In order to shift the transmission and get the tractor moving, you have to press in the clutch before you move the stick into gear. Then, slowly release the clutch as you apply the gas. You will feel a tension point as the tractor starts to move forward. Start in second gear; first is for getting out of the mud.” It was basic instructions, but it felt like a lot.
“Okay,” Harper said with a look of determination on her face. She put her foot on the clutch, another on the gas, and her hand on the stick. “Let’s try this.”
I held on, grateful that I had the older tractor for her to learn on.
She pressed the clutch in, pulled the stick into second gear, and then slammed down on the gas. We lurched forward, and she let out a scream.
The engine died, plunging us into silence for a beat. A moment later, all I could hear was our ragged breathing.
Harper looked at me with big eyes full of shock.
I stared back.
At the same moment, we burst out laughing.
“That was awful,” I said with a grin to let her know I was teasing.
“I didn’t kill it, did I?”
“Oh, you killed it, all right.” I pressed on her knee, indicating that she should put the clutch back in. “But I think there’s some life in this ol’ girl yet.” I cranked the key, and the engine roared back to life. “Okay, try going slower on the gas.” I had to almost yell to be heard, because she was already pressing on the gas, revving the engine.
She nodded, her jaw set. This time, she let the clutch out too soon, and we jerked forward before stopping. She smacked the steering wheel; at the same time, she giggled. “Learning to suture was ten times easier than this.”
We proceeded to spend the next half hour slowly inching/jerking our way up the lane as Harper perpetually popped the clutch. She just couldn’t get the timing right or find the release point on the clutch. But she had a good attitude and didn’t get discouraged. I was starting to understand how she’d become a doctor.
By the time we got back to our cars, we were laughing so hard we couldn’t see straight.
“This is not as easy as it looks!” Harper said, giggling and almost crying at the same time.
“It’s alright.” I gripped the cab frame to keep from falling into her lap—which I’d done once already. “It takes practice. It’s like riding a bike. Once you figure it out, your motor skills will never forget it.”
“I’m taking that as a challenge.” She climbed down and folded her arms, leveling the tractor with a glare.
“A what now?” I climbed quickly after her. I checked the sun. There were two hours left of daylight, and I hadn’t dared turn on the sprayer or let Harper drive in the field.
“I’ll be back Monday night for another lesson.” She leaned forward on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to mine. Her boldness and easy affection bowled me over. None of the girls I’d dated had been so open. I could get used to her in my life real fast.
She turned and opened her car door.
I lifted a hand for her to stop. “Wait, I was going to take you on a date.”
She laughed. “You just did.”
I stared at the tractor and then back to her. “We didn’t go more than a quarter of a mile.”
She nodded. “It’s not how far you go; it’s how much fun you had on the way. And I had a great time.” She started her car. “Come on over when you finish, and I’ll buy you a pizza.”
“Deal.” I backed away so she could pull out. I got the feeling she was going to pester me until she figured out the clutch. I smiled to myself. I could deal with that.
Her persistence was one of the many qualities I loved about her. Anything that brought me closer to Harper, physically or emotionally, was alright with me.
Chapter Seventeen
Harper
I hurried home from the field, a grin etched into my cheeks. Being with Andrew was fun, more fun than I’d had hanging out with boys before.
Of course, he wasn’t a boy. He was a man.
As I walked in the door, Astrid bounded into the room, her tail wagging. “Hey, girl.” I knelt down as she flopped over for me to rub her tummy.
My phone dinged and I grabbed it quickly, shaking my head at myself. I’d just left Andrew, just kissed Andrew, and already I was hungry for more of him.
Only the text wasn’t from Andrew. It was from Alex Mitchell.
Deadlines looming.
I clicked on the link and was brought to the Duke University fellowships deadlines page. Deadlines were fast approaching, and I hadn’t looked at the application yet. There were bound to be essays. I bit my lip.
What about Andrew? my heart asked.
I frowned. I’d spent two hours trying to fit into his world, but what about mine? All I’d ever wanted to do was work with the bones and muscles. This was a chance to see my lifelong dream and all the work I’d put into it pay off.
“Hmm.” I rubbed Astrid’s belly once more and headed for my computer to do some research. The school wasn’t that far away. An hour, maybe a little more.
I chewed my thumbnail. It wasn’t really the commute that was the problem. A program like this was all-inclusive. There wasn’t room for a relationship—no time to nurture one. Hec
k, I’d seen marriages crumble under the weight of med school, and I instinctively knew that what Andrew and I had right now wouldn’t survive.
But what if it could?
What if I did the fellowship? What would my professional life look like after that?
I glanced at the time. If I was going to apply, I had to start right now. I could figure the rest of it out later.
I entered my name and email address and got started. My schooling was easy to fill in, as was my experience. I had several letters of reference on file, so that didn’t slow me down. I was almost done, the sun having gone down and the room cast in shadow, when there was a knock on the door. I yelped in surprise, yanking my fingers away from the keyboard.
Astrid barked and wagged her tail.
Andrew.
I’d forgotten he was coming over for pizza. “Shoot.” I turned off the monitor, afraid I’d lose my work if I clicked out of the page, and grabbed my phone off the coffee table as I opened the door.
“Hey,” I said as I pulled it open. “I’m ordering now. Any requests?” I was out of breath and sounded guilty in my own ears.
Andrew leaned in and kissed me as he crossed the threshold. He’d showered and smelled like soap and aftershave—yummy.
I glanced at the computer, grateful that the screen was dark. I wasn’t sure what he would think of me going away for at least a year. Probably more, if I was honest. I played with the door, still holding it open.
“I’m good with anything but olives.” He sank into the couch, and Astrid put her chin on his knee, begging for attention.
“Olives?” I asked. I realized I was still standing in the doorway and he’d settled in. I shut the door and found the number in my phone. While it rang, I paced back and forth. I ordered and then hung up, standing there with my arms at my side and not sure about where I should sit.
“Is everything okay?” Andrew glanced at the seat next to him.
I rolled my eyes at my weird behavior. Just because we were dating didn’t mean I had an obligation to tell him my every thought—even though I’d been doing just that for weeks now. I was allowed to have a part of myself just for me. Hadn’t I read that it was healthy for a relationship if both parties had their own interests? Or maybe I was making that up to make myself feel better for not telling him about the fellowship program.
“It’s great.” I sat beside him and draped one arm across his chest. “Do you want to watch a movie tonight?” I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do than snuggle up next to him.
“I’ll probably fall asleep.”
“It’s okay. I’ll wake you up in time to get home before curfew,” I teased.
He grinned. “Deal.”
We debated movie titles until the pizza arrived and then ate in the living room with napkins and soda cans.
“Did you ever play End of the World?” he asked.
I wrinkled my nose, trying to recall any game with that title. “No. What is it?”
He swiped his chin with a napkin. “Every time a character in the movie says ‘end of the world,’ we kiss.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Have you played this game?”
“Never had a girlfriend I wanted to play it with before.”
My eyes widened. “You never had a girlfriend.”
He shook his head. “That’s not what I said. I said I never had a girlfriend I wanted to play it with before.”
I tossed my hair over my shoulder. “Then you’ve been dating the wrong girls.”
He brushed his fingers over my cheek. “I won’t argue over that one.”
We watched an hour of the movie. Andrew stayed awake the whole time, which wasn’t that much of a surprise, because there were quite a few end of the world moments—each one lasting longer than the last. He left about midnight with one more lingering moment at the door. I felt bad sending him off, knowing he’d be awake again in six hours and I’d get an earful from his grandpa at his next visit.
I glanced around the room, making sure it was put to rights before I went to bed, and my eyes landed on the computer. Funny, but I hadn’t thought about the application while he was here—not once we’d started eating and talking. The same comfortable, happy feeling that always came over me had filled the house.
I sat down in the chair, my hand hovering over the space bar. I finally clicked it, and the screen came on, blinding me.
What were the chances I’d even get in?
I blinked several times and then focused on the unanswered questions. A desire to prove myself rose within me—one that had driven me forward, pushed me to study longer and harder than my counterparts. I pressed on, finishing at about two and crawling into bed.
Thankfully, my brain was tired enough that it didn’t spin what-ifs, and I drifted off with the scent of Andrew on my skin.
Chapter Eighteen
Harper
I sat atop the old sorrel mare and looked down at the dirt and pebbles. “The ground is awfully far away.”
“But it’s soft,” called Andrew from across the round pen.
I shook my head. “There may be six inches of sand beneath this horse’s hooves, but that doesn't mean I want to end up headfirst in it.”
“I thought you said you liked horses.”
“I said I liked the movie Seabiscuit.” I had admired his horses many times when I’d followed him into the barn to do chores. I’d even fed them hay cubes and apple slices. But riding one? The closest this city girl had ever gotten was the carousel at the park.
“You know what your problem is?” he asked, his horse practically sauntering over to me. It was like he knew I wasn’t good at this and wanted to show off.
I held tight to the leather reins. My horse shifted its weight, and my heart tripled its pace. “Please tell me,” I said sarcastically.
“Your problem is you’re a doctor.”
I paused a beat as the guilt of holding back from him hit me. It did that every now and again since I’d submitted my application. I recovered quickly and scoffed. “Yeah—that’s a big issue in my life.”
He laughed. His leg came even with mine, and I relaxed a bit, knowing he was close enough to save me if I started to fall. “It is an issue. You’ve seen it all, Doc. And you’re thinking about what can go wrong.” He reached over and ran his fingers up my arm. Warmth spread through my body, chasing off the icy tendrils of fear that had wrapped around my spine and made me rigid. “It’s like kissing: if you think you’re going to miss, then you’ll miss.”
I laughed at his ridiculous comparison. “You ever think you were going to miss?”
He leaned over, kissing my cheek. “Not with you.”
I swatted at him. “I don’t want to hear any more about that out of you.” The idea of him kissing another woman made me irrationally mad. I gripped the reins. “Come on, girl, we can do this.”
My horse shook her head, her mane shining in the setting sunlight. With determination, I dug my heels into the horse's flanks and kept them there.
Ginger jerked forward, much like the tractor had on my first night, and I rolled off the back, landing on my hands and knees and staring at the dirt. I realized I was in the last place anyone in their right mind would ever be—directly behind a horse—and skittered to the side. Ginger went the other way—like she was more worried I was out to get her. If she only knew how much more damage she could do to me, she wouldn’t be scared at all.
Andrew was off his horse and at my side in a blink. “You okay?” He hauled me to my feet and brushed off my knees.
I shook. “A mild case of shock.” I bent my wrists and then my knees. “Nothing’s broken.”
He kissed my hair and held me close as my hummingbird heart slowed down to a normal rate and my hands went from trembling to quivering.
I breathed in Andrew’s cider scent, allowing it to both calm and excite me. “I popped the clutch,” I said into his shirt.
A chuckle hummed in his chest and made me smile. “I think you migh
t have been digging into her a little too much. Horses are more sensitive than tractors.”
I giggled. He had such an interesting take on life, farming, and pretty much everything. I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Why don’t you show me that theory of yours again? If I think I’m going to miss …?”
A slow, sexy smile spread across his mouth. He leaned in and kissed me. His movements were deliberate and then melted into a soft tango of pleasure and fun. A few minutes later, he pulled back. “You know what they say about falling off a horse?”
“You should make out with your teacher before you get back on?”
He nuzzled my nose with his. “Exactly. It’s like you’re reading my mind.” He walked me over to Ginger and grabbed the reins dangling in front of her feet. “Hop up.”
Resigning myself to getting back on the horse, I grabbed the horn and put my foot in the stirrup. Once I was settled back in the saddle, he handed me the leather reins. “You good?” he asked. His hand rested on my thigh. I could get used to this riding thing.
“Yep.” I kicked and then pulled my foot out to the side so I didn’t dig my heels in. Ginger went about five steps and then stopped like someone had glued her to the ground. I wasn’t ready for her abrupt halt and pitched forward, landing in the dirt again. This time I fell on my shoulder.
I sat up, surprised that there wasn’t more pain. “The sand really is soft,” I said as I looked up at Andrew. He’d come to my rescue once again.
He shook his head, offering me a hand. “Listen, if you just want to stand here and kiss, we can. You don’t have to keep falling off.”
I smacked his arm and then grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him in for a quick, hard kiss. “I’m riding that horse tonight,” I said before letting him go.
He stumbled back a step. “I get the feeling I should just get out of your way.”
I nodded. My determination had kicked in. It was like passing the USMLE. The exam was shortly after my diagnosis, and one of my professors had told me I was better off quitting than putting myself through the stress.
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