by Pamela Ann
I made a curt nod, understanding where she was coming from. “We all have our fair share of guilt, any human being does.” Not wanting a full-on heart to heart discussion with her, I immediately changed the subject. “How about I hail you a cab so you can go home and rest? A good rest might do wonders, or so they say.”
“Home is New York. I’m just visiting the Motherland to be with friends and family.”
It might’ve been the light teasing that provoked her to smile, but fuck, what a blinding smile it was. I felt my breathing halt just a tad.
Clearing my throat, I made a courteous nod. “Right. Of course. Then we’d have the cab take you to your destination. Wherever that is.”
“That would be lovely … Craig.” She seemed reluctant to say my name, although a faint blush appeared after she did.
There was an air of mystery about her that triggered something within. It felt as if it was compelling me to do something spontaneous, something drastic, and I knew I simply couldn’t chance it. Never again.
Hailing a cab wasn’t a hardship; in no matter of time, a licensed, black cab parked about a foot away, waiting with his blinkers on.
“I suppose this is goodbye …”
“Ava,” she hastily said. “My name is Ava.”
A smirk crossed my lips before giving her a final look. “Have a restful night, Ava. And do try to stay out of trouble for the rest of your stay.”
“You, too …” She gazed up, breathless and seeming reluctant to leave. “Goodnight.”
I wasn’t sure if she was hoping to exchange numbers or if she needed me to give her a hug, but I wasn’t readily giving her either. There was no need to ignite the ghost she was chasing. Therefore, I pressed my lips together instead, hoping she’d get the cue that she was prolonging the inevitable. After a minute of silence, she finally did, much to my relief. She made a final wave of goodbye, opened the cab door, stepped into it, and gave me one last glance that could be interpreted in so many ways before the cab whisked her away.
I stayed awhile, rooted to the spot where she’d left me, still deep in thought. A twin she had said, I thought with derision before a dark, cruel laugh emerged from me.
My life definitely hadn’t started out easy. Now and again, it still drove a hard bargain. Such as when it attempted to force me into forgiving people who had wronged me …
The word forgiveness certainly wasn’t part of my dictionary.
Chapter 128
Ava
It had been over an hour since I’d arrived back at the hotel. Still, I sat ramrod straight on the luxurious sofa, staring into oblivion. The driver, bless his heart, had seemed kind enough to give me a minute or ten as he patiently waited for me to gather my bearings before exiting his vehicle. In return, I paid him an extra hundred quid as a tip. Had tonight really happened? It kept circling my brain, making me wonder how on earth I would manage to move forth from what had occurred tonight.
Moreover, my mind kept coming back to the mystery man named Craig Chambers.
Same last name. Same face.
What were the odds, really?
Heck the chances were slim, yet fate had guided me to face the ghost of my demons. Everything about Craig—apart from that tiny scarred spot on his brow—was utterly alike to my fallen beloved. There was only a subtle difference to the smooth face that I remembered so well from a decade ago. Had he been alive, I was convinced Reiss would appear just as Craig did with that slight scruff and a confident persona accompanied by an easy smile that made his one dimple appear on his left cheek.
Even that one, tiny, insignificant detail …
Craig had possessed one, too.
However, since Reiss was dead, my mind furthered with theories and such. Surely, they could somehow be related. It could be his long lost, distant cousin. I was convinced Reiss’s familial gene pool could produce another man almost identical to him. It was merely a twisted, freakish accident that I had spotted him tonight.
I knew he wasn’t Reiss, although my heart didn’t seem to cooperate with that pertinent fact. My eyes had seen Reiss, and that was what my heart was acknowledging, nothing more.
Coming back to my nicely shaken up reality, the soft sound of my phone made me forget about Craig and Reiss altogether. While I reached for it, I saw my husband was calling me. I sat myself down, leaning back against the softly feathered cushions as I closed my eyes and pretended to sound normal.
“Hello.”
“Did I get you at a wrong time? You sound knackered,” Ashton mused, sounding rather happy, the exact opposite to the stressed out man I had to live with for months on end due to his newly appointed position in the company.
“I actually just got in. I was out in Park Lane with Allie and her new bloke.” Guilt ate at me as I contemplated if I should mention how embarrassingly my night had ended. We had been married for almost nine years; he knew about those random acts I did. Usually, I was quite honest and open with him. However, for some odd reason, I wanted to keep Craig Chambers hidden for the time being. There were a lot of questions and unresolved things I needed to ponder through before I decided to tell him about this uncanny chance.
“How are things at the office? You sound well.”
The stress from his promotion had him on pins and needles to the point of being beyond neurotic at times. For all the years I had known him, never had I seen him in such a state. Try though I did to soothe his ego and boost his confidence and esteem, the gesture always backfired on me. I became his walking and breathing rubbish bin, the person he could freely and openly unload on about all of his frustrations from work. Ranging from people he didn’t like working with, business transactions that were dealt with in a wrong fashion, company decisions that weren’t approached with care and ended with a lot of baffled and aggravated employees—I heard it all. Being a wife already gave him the right to “bitch” about his work life; however, what ticked me off more than anything was the damning man wouldn’t let me give an opinion about it.
Whatever he had just unburdened on me, he solely expected me to simply nod and forget about it, which wasn’t always the case with me. I liked voicing my opinions, and at times, he didn’t appreciate it, most especially when I pointed out what his role was and how he’d become at fault in the process. This resulted in arguments and tiny, befuddled fights that mostly ended up with him begging for my forgiveness and showering me with his usual love and attention. When Ashton got into this love mode, it was quite impossible not to thaw and forgive his dour attitude.
Tonight, he had simply called without the intentions of venting out anything at all. He only wanted to make sure I was quite all right while also mildly inquiring when I would be back in New York since he was getting lonely without me in the three-bedroom apartment we had in the Upper East Side.
I admit, talking to him made my tension ease a bit. I suppose there was something in his voice that calmed me. After all, it was only him who could soothe me after I confessed what I had done with Reiss and how awful I was to him after I rejected his proposal and what had transpired after the incident, although I still wasn’t certain when I would tell him about all that.
Seeing Reiss’s doppelganger had brought intense emotions out of me. It felt like I had fallen into a darkened cave where I was attacked by thousands of bats all at the same time, leaving me breathless, defenseless, mindless, all at a speedy rate. In seconds, it felt like I was in a time warp, transported back to the summer that had changed my life.
The summer that had taught me the grandest lesson of all …
And that was to never underestimate the power of love. It yielded such incapacitating power it could easily blind even the strongest and bravest kind amongst us beings. We were its muse and its victims, gambling our fates as it chose its next mark.
I was one of the lucky lot chosen to be doomed by it.
Chapter 129
Craig
“Have the car ready, will you, Emily?” I directed my PA through the speak
erphone, readying to leave the office.
I was about to close the lid on my laptop when Emily’s clipped, refined voice came through the device. “There’s an Ava Westwood who refuses to leave, even though I insisted she make an appointment before being allowed to see you, Mr. Chambers.”
Bollocks! “Why the hell did I have to give her my name,” I hissed, knowing well enough that the last thing I needed was to be polite at the end of this strenuous day. If Ava could surpass Emily’s glacial glares and dismissive attitude, it meant that she truly wasn’t going anywhere. Emily was a secret weapon, most handy when I didn’t want to deal with uninvited visitors.
Resigned, I thought it better I deal with this right this moment. “Send her in, and you can take your leave right after. That will be all. Thank you, Emily.”
“Thank you. Have a lovely evening, Mr. Chambers.” She sounded appreciative. I was almost certain she was relieved I didn’t ask it of her to stay in the office while I took care of this unexpected visitor.
Reaching to squeeze the back of my neck, I closed my eyes for a brief moment to release some tension. I listened to the sound of high heels echoing down the hall before I heard the soft opening and closing click of the door then silence.
“Ava,” I rasped out, unsure if I should open my eyes and admire her beauty or if I should keep them shut so she’d know she wasn’t welcome and couldn’t stay for long. In the end, my eyes opened when I heard her sweet voice.
“Sorry. I’m not usually a bugger, but I had this random urge to make you something. It’s my way of apologizing,” she nervously said as she bit her lip and shifted her feet, gazing upon me with an expectant look. She held a gift box with a black bow, lifting it a little to indicate the purpose of her visit.
There was something about her tone that made me thaw a little. Her random gesture touched something in me. When was the last time anyone had gone out of their way to do anything for me, may it be simple or complicated? And she had done it without expecting anything in return. Lovers, girlfriends—they all did things to accomplish something. Most times, those “gifts” showed up in the credit card bill at the end of the month.
I hadn’t thought I’d be truly touched by this, yet I was.
With my curiosity piqued, I gestured her forwards to see what she meant by ‘made something.’
A shy smile played about her lips as she came forward, heading to where I stood frozen, watching her every move. She wore a sleeveless, fitted, powder blue dress with pearls on her ears. She appeared demure, beguiling, and completely irresistible.
“Here.” She shyly handed me the box, seeming quite pleased with herself. “I hope you like chocolate.”
I’d devour anything you want me to eat, my wicked mind enlightened me just as my cock surged forth, clearly thinking of a different agenda, with chocolate icing and a lot of nipping and sucking.
“This is very kind of you,” I rasped out, sounding a little rough. “Thank you for going out of your way to do so.”
“Not quite going out of my way. I took your advice and Googled you, and since your office is just a walking distance from the hotel, I thought an edible treat would be a marvelous way to apologize for my behavior three nights ago.” She had a cute way of saying things, and I found myself smiling down at her.
“The hotel let you use their kitchens?” I teased, finding it hard to resist when she blushed with her eyes sparking like it was Christmas morning. There was an air of gullibility about her, yet her coming here spontaneously had proved she didn’t follow the rules, even though she wore class and elegance with apparent ease.
“My friend Allie took pity on me and let me use her kitchen for a few hours. It’s nothing much, just a small chocolate torte.” Ava openly stared at my face, seeming lost in thought as she gazed at me with longing in her eyes before I cleared my throat to snap her out of her trance-like state. “Sorry. I’m not usually odd like this. I’m quite easy to be around, I promise,” she apologized, blushing ten times harder than the last time.
Smirking, I didn’t want to argue her statement. I was almost positive she was a lot of things. “I don’t doubt it.”
“I swear … really.” Biting her lip, she seemed to ponder for a moment before she opened her mouth as her eyes sought mine, and she finally blurted out, “How about if you let me take you out for coffee? Perhaps even for a quick nibble?” I was about to decline when she interrupted me. “I understand if you’re busy tonight with prior engagements already, but I feel like I must explain myself fully or even just a fraction so you could have a better understanding about all of this. I swear I won’t bore you to tears.”
Ava was right. I did have reservations for dinner tonight with Hilary, my current lover. She adored the process of beautifying herself so much she’d start to get ready about three hours prior to when I was due to get her. She was a stunning, sweet woman who sometimes had a tendency of being overly clingy. Apart from that, however, Hilary was compliant and didn’t make it a habit to know the ins and outs of my business life. The last thing I needed was to take my work with me when I was out playing and de-stressing my worries away.
Declining Ava’s invitation didn’t seem appropriate, because she was the sort you didn’t want to disappoint. As much as I wanted to say no, my mouth had a mind of its own.
“Would half an hour do?”
“Yeah, half an hour is lovely!” She beamed, sounding breathless at my acquiescence.
My left hand itched to run through my hair, which usually helped ease me when I was confronted with something I wasn’t so sure about. Instead of following my instincts, I resorted to slipping my hand inside the pocket of my trousers while the other hand held the box with her handmade dessert in it.
“With coffee and your chocolate pastry, one could never go wrong.”
There was a coffee shop across the street we ended up going to. Ava kept me entertained for the short distance from the office to the shop with stories about her childhood memories and how she’d first started baking. I could tell from the bright look she had and how animated she became that this was one of her passions in life. What other interests did she have?
I frowned as I caught myself wondering about things I shouldn’t have even allowed to cross my mind. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that the gold band on her ring finger meant she belonged to some other man. The thought made me frown further. Where was the husband, anyhow? How could a man possible leave this lovely, beautiful woman to her own devices to seek out a complete stranger and invite him for coffee? I was convinced, wherever he was, it surely wasn’t any of my business one way or the other.
Disengaging from my train of thought as we sat across from each other, I flagged the waiter just as I pulled out my phone and texted Hilary that I would be running a tad late for dinner. After the message, I immediately switched the mode to silent, not wanting to be interrupted since Hilary had this unfortunate tendency of being quite the annoying one sentence text message sender.
Where are you?
What time will you come?
Hurry?
Please?
This was merely a small anomaly from the stunning package altogether, one I hadn’t minded much until tonight. As much as I didn’t want to openly admit it, I was curious about what Ava had to say. After hearing her tonight, though, I made myself vow I wouldn’t see her or be cajoled by her pretty smiles again. She spelt trouble, and I certainly didn’t need to introduce useless drama into my well put-together life.
“You have such an uncanny resemblance that I find it more disturbing as the day goes on.”
Her words took me by surprise. She hadn’t even waited until we’d ordered before she had started getting down to business.
“I don’t want to seem rude, but I feel obligated to tell you that maybe you need to seek a therapist.” Shrugging, I gave her a retreated look. “With your past and this man in particular, maybe it would do you the world and lift all the guilt away. You seem to be quite bent about
what happened in your old life.”
Ava was far from offended. Surprisingly, she seemed unperturbed.
“The thought did occur to me, but seeking help would clearly prove a lot of things I don’t think I’m ready to hear,” she said just as the waiter came. She looked upwards to acknowledge the pleasant, young man with her heart-stopping smile. “Hi, there. We’d love two hot cappuccinos please.”
For a moment, the waiter seemed struck before he shook himself back to functioning and took note of the order. The second he left, I didn’t waste a beat.
“You didn’t even give me the curtsey to order for myself.”
She raised her brow, her long, sooty lashes flickering at me, challenging me. “Sorry, did I make a mistake in presuming you’d adore a hot cappuccino?”
Sass. I liked that in women. “You didn’t make a mistake,” I murmured, observing her. “Though, one might wonder what else you may have read online with your little quest on me.”
She made the most unexpected gesture by bunching her nose, appearing less composed, more relaxed, and quite at ease in my company. “This and that …” she trailed off, biting her lip. “A lot of things yet a lot of nothings.”
“Anything I can help you with?” The moment the question slipped out of my lips, I wished to somehow undo it.
Blowing out a small breath, she started with what she had found. “There’s quite a list of organizations and foundations you support. I admit, I was wholly impressed.” Just then, the waiter returned with our order. We both murmured our thanks before we took a moment to drop sugar cubes and stir the steaming java concoction. “I don’t mean to pry, but how come there isn’t much history about you? I could only find information from your University days, nothing about your childhood …”