by Massey, Beth
He knew Anne had developed a friendship with her, but she had not told him much about the young woman. He had determined his interest in her that night had been improper and had tried to erase her from his memory. Maybe she was unstable, and Anne had not been in her company long enough to perceive her true nature. She definitely was entirely too forward for her own good. What kind of family allows a young girl to travel about London without a chaperon? He would never allow his sister such liberties.
Miss Elizabeth looked back several times to determine whether he was still following her. Finally as they were getting quite close to Cheapside, she whirled around.
When he caught up to her, she spoke, “I have changed my mind. I will take a ride for the rest of the way. It is only about five blocks. I left Gracechurch Street in one of the Darcy carriages… I should arrive back in one so as not to arouse suspicion.”
He had no idea what she was talking about, but decided to accommodate her. He motioned to the driver and opened the door to the carriage.
Darcy attempted to take her hand to help, but she quickly pulled it away from him. “I am perfectly able to get in without your help.” She scrambled into the carriage, holding on to the door and pulling herself up and through the opening. The manoeuvre was decidedly unladylike, but she seemed determined to have no contact with him.
“Mr Darcy, please stay here. I do not want my aunt to think I was alone with you in the carriage. It is only a few blocks. Your driver will be back very soon to pick you up and take you home. It is very kind of you to allow me to ride in your carriage for this last short distance.”
Once again he thought her behaviour odd. She had walked from Grosvenor Square to Cheapside without any qualms… well not quite without qualms as she had seemed agitated the entire way. Now, after walking miles, she was concerned about raising suspicion by being alone in a carriage with him. Did she not think her aunt and uncle would wonder at the condition of her slippers? She had been limping for some time now, and he was sure she had worn blisters. Maybe Anne could shed some light on why she seemed so erratic today. More and more he was convinced she was an unstable young woman, and it was probably the result of inheriting bad characteristics combined with improper supervision. She admitted she read forbidden books with subject matter not appropriate for an unmarried lady of any age. He would be horrified if Georgiana did such a thing. If Miss Elizabeth behaved like this in the future, something dire was certain to befall her.
He struggled to remember why he had been so intrigued when they first met. His occasional musings on their interaction at the theatre had been met with an effort to banish such thoughts during the previous month. This incident should hopefully wipe out his unsuitable fascination with her.
6 SECRETS AND LIES
Arriving at her aunt and uncle’s house, Elizabeth steeled herself to be helped down by the footman. Though his touch was disgusting, she must not arouse suspicion—her disgrace required her to act as before. Standing erect, with her head held high, she entered the house and was gratified to learn her aunt was upstairs with Baby Susan.
Elizabeth asked Mrs Jones, the housekeeper, if she could have a bath arranged for her. Once undressed, she put her gown and underclothes aside to be laundered, knowing she would never wear any of them again. Still, discarding them would draw attention. Would the blood on her underclothes raise questions? Helplessness was threatening to overpower her… if only she could talk with someone. Elizabeth desperately wanted her sister. No, even Jane should be spared the knowledge of her humiliation. The most prudent plan was to hide the incident from everyone. Lord Wolfbridge’s despicable actions had forced the realization she was not mature enough to understand the motives of men… and maybe never would be
As the biblical verse Mary was so fond of quoting to her sisters, ‘Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall’ stole into her mind, a stab of guilt lodged in her heart. Elizabeth finally allowed tears to fall. The memory of how filled with conceit she had been when evaluating her success in charming a viscount. Surely, she was the silliest of all her father’s daughters.
Elizabeth braced herself—it was time to go downstairs and face her aunt and uncle. She was relieved that fears for Susan’s welfare were their main concern today. It would make the task of diverting attention from herself easier. Schooling her face with the appropriate look of worry, she listened to the account of the baby’s prognosis. It was difficult to concentrate. Would her inattentiveness be noticed?
Dinner was uneventful, but afterwards, her aunt asked about her visit with Mrs Darcy. Elizabeth had prepared a response before coming down. “I am sorry, Aunt, but I had a quarrel with Mrs Darcy, and she will likely not invite us to Darcy House again. I sent a note to apologize for my behaviour, but I doubt she will forgive me.” Lizzy searched her Aunt Margaret’s eyes and decided to add, “She found me too familiar in criticizing her mother. Though we have gossiped about our mothers in the past, it was clear she thought I overstepped the bounds of propriety and was entirely too disrespectful with my remarks about someone so much above me.”
Mrs Gardiner thought Elizabeth’s explanation rang false. The animosity Mrs Darcy felt for her mother had barely been suppressed during her conversations with the young woman. Something else had happened if there was a rupture between the two.
Elizabeth continued her rambling explanation. “My feelings of inadequacy about being out have been proven correct. I have not mastered how to speak to those outside my narrow society.” Elizabeth knew she had not been successful and felt tears welling again. Perhaps her aunt would think she was distraught about her lack of social graces.
Mrs Gardiner knew something was wrong… Elizabeth was not telling the truth. She saw the pooling tears, and decided not to probe her niece tonight. There would be time before she returned to Hertfordshire for heart-to-heart talks. She recalled the anguish of her own youth. Had Elizabeth become enamoured of Lord Wolfbridge or even Mr Darcy? Infatuations were something all young girls went through.
Fitzwilliam Darcy arrived back at Darcy House and immediately searched out his wife. He found her in her sitting room, instructing her maid to put some sachets into her drawers. He could smell lavender. Anne looked shocked when he asked about Miss Elizabeth. She stammered as she replied, “Our time together was pleasant, but I started feeling unwell, and the visit was cut short. How did you know about her call?”
“I saw her leaving the house. She was distraught about something, acting very agitated, and she walked almost the entire way to Cheapside… in slippers… in the rain and wind. Her manner seemed very unstable, and she was gesturing quite wildly the whole way. I offered her a ride home in the carriage, but she refused. I smelled tobacco smoke. Were the two of you smoking?”
The entire time Fitzwilliam was speaking, Anne became more and more apprehensive. She had to figure out how to recover from this disaster. His assumption they had been smoking was so unexpected that she was forced to suppress a burst of nervous laughter. “Of course we weren’t smoking. You must be mistaken about what you smelled. She gave me some lavender sachets and toilet water.” Forcing a nostalgic smile, she thought of a diversion. “Lady Anne always smelled of lavender. I think I shall like smelling as my namesake did. It is hard to imagine she was my mother’s sister. I remember her laughing a great deal… I miss her too, Fitzwilliam.” Anne believed she had successfully diverted the conversation and felt safe to add, “Miss Elizabeth also gave me some special chamomile tea… to help me feel calmer.”
Fitzwilliam was aware Anne was babbling and attempting to move the conversation away from Miss Elizabeth’s state of mind. He decided he should drop the accusation of smoking and ignore her remarks about his mother in the interest of pressing the issue of why Miss Elizabeth was acting so irrationally. “Is there anything that happened that could have upset her?”
Anne gripped the back of a chair, hoping her trembling was not noticeable. She tried to think of something to say to him tha
t would end his queries. Looking down at her clenched hands, she stammered several beginnings, and stopped and coughed once or twice before finally settling on, “I think… I believe… I have noticed for a while that she had become enamoured with Edmund, and I might have said a little too strongly that there could never be anything between them.” She looked up to determine whether he seemed to believe what she was saying. The look on his face was hard to decipher, and she felt more needed to be added to her explanation. “Miss Elizabeth did seem quite unhappy with the news. I did not expect her to become so quiet and withdrawn. That did seem rather strange, as she is usually so lively. But as I said before, I was feeling unwell and excused myself for a few moments to leave her alone with her disappointment. When I returned later, she was gone.”
After listening to Anne’s explanation, Darcy decided it was plausible. He had thought Miss Elizabeth too sensible to fall for his cousin’s suave glibness; but then again, she was very young. He had heard her confess something about being silly. Importance, power and wealth were always very alluring to those from the lower circles, even if they came in the package of an intelligent, joyful, little girl on the brink of womanhood.
Anne Darcy was relieved her husband seemed to accept her story. The first thing was to speak to Edmund… if for no other reason than to ensure their stories were in agreement. It was imperative she accomplish a meeting with her cousin before Fitzwilliam decided to inquire of him if he had been home and talked with Miss Elizabeth. Now she desperately needed to be away from her husband’s scrutiny, and find a way to conceal her part in allowing Edmund to be alone with Lizzy. Her next words were said with this goal in mind. “Fitzwilliam, I am still feeling unwell. It is my intention to retire to my room and have a tray sent up for dinner.” With a reassuring smile she added, “Miss Elizabeth is very young; she will get over her infatuation easily.”
Mrs Jones asked to speak with Mrs Gardiner before she retired. She explained that Molly had shown her a bloodstain on Miss Elizabeth’s pantaloons. The maid had been unsure whether she should mention what she saw but was afraid the young lady might be unwell as it was too early for her courses. Molly was only fourteen, and she did not notice the other substance that was on the underclothes, but Mrs Jones did.
When Mrs Gardiner was shown what her housekeeper had seen, she collapsed into a chair. She finally found her voice and said, “Please do not mention what Molly found to anyone else on the staff. Perhaps you could remove the stains before you give them over to be laundered. I am not sure what it means, and I want to ask my niece about this without causing any undue suspicion.”
The two women were very close. Mrs Jones and her husband had served Mr Davies since before his daughter was born and his wife had died in childbirth. She had been the closest thing Mrs Gardiner had ever had to a mother. The housekeeper’s own husband had died just before Miss Margaret Davies married, and it had been decided that Mrs Jones would go with her to her new home in London. “Rest assured… no one will know what we found. Miss Elizabeth is a good, respectful young woman. I promise you complete discretion.”
Together they decided that Mrs Jones would tell young Molly that occasionally there would be spotting between cycles of courses. But Molly would be cautioned not to mention her inquiry to Miss Elizabeth because it would mortify her employer’s niece.
Mrs Gardiner asked Mrs Jones for clarification of another detail that had been bothering her, “Did Miss Elizabeth send a note to Darcy House?”
“No, she did not. And Margaret, there is another thing I found very odd about her clothes. Her brand new kid slippers are practically worn through the soles. It appears she has walked a considerable distance in them.”
“That is odd. Something is very wrong, as I know today is the first time she wore them.” Mrs Gardiner did not have the heart to mention these findings to her husband that evening. She needed to have another conversation with Elizabeth about what happened at Darcy House. Men always wanted to insist on revenge or marriage when women were compromised. There was no one to avenge Elizabeth except her husband. Elizabeth’s father could barely see, and she had no brothers. The Gardiners’ children needed their father.
Elizabeth was such a sensible girl. She must get to the bottom of what had happened before she involved anyone else in the family.
7 GOOD MORNING HEARTACHE
Elizabeth Bennet gave up trying to sleep just before dawn. She sat on the ledge of the window and stared out at the last of the night sky. If she were in Hertfordshire, she would go walking. She prayed for pleasant weather so she could take David and Marianne to the park. Teaching them how to fly the kite they had made together should keep them away from the house for hours. Avoiding her aunt and additional questions was uppermost in her mind. Fear that Mrs Darcy might invite them to tea again seized her. Surely she would not be so cruel as to try to continue their friendship?
When it was light, Elizabeth wrote to her sisters and parents. Despite the extravagance, each one of them would receive their own page. She made certain her words were cheerful, even though she felt anything but. Once her letters were complete, it was still half an hour before anyone would be down for breakfast. Lizzy sat at her dressing table. The face in the mirror looked the same but she felt so changed from yesterday. The loss of her chastity weighed heavily on her heart, but she was also troubled by feelings she could not describe. The morning before she had felt joyful anticipation with so many of the things life had to offer, now she was consumed by a foreboding that horror lay around every bend.
How would she ever persuade her mother she could not marry? Embracing her uncle or even her father filled her with dread. The idea of a man wholly unconnected to her touching her other than getting in and out of carriages was repugnant. How did women bear the marital bed? Submitting to those attentions seemed a very high price to pay for prestige and security. She was certain she could never again go through what she endured yesterday.
Ways to end her torment crept into a corner of her mind. Her family would rally, and her shame would die with her. After indulging in speculation whether she could find the courage to bury a knife in her heart or obtain enough poison to induce a sleep from which she would not wake, she chastised herself for such dark thoughts and spent the remainder of the time before breakfast practicing false cheerfulness. As she observed her efforts in the glass her greatest hope was that with time she would conquer this despair.
For some unknown reason, her thoughts drifted to Mr Darcy. He had never been present any of the times she had met with Mrs Darcy. Was he privy to her entrapment? Was he licentious like his cousin, and as she had come to believe… his uncle? He had seemed genuinely concerned about her yesterday. Had he walked the whole way to Cheapside to protect her; or to ensure his depraved family was not exposed?
Lord Wolfbridge slept late. Once fully awake, he remembered his conquest of yesterday. He had decided to act immediately once he learned from Anne she would be visiting alone. He knew from his conversations with Miss Elizabeth that she would be going back to the country soon. Charm had always been his bait in the past, but this time he was forced to pounce on his prey. There had been something exhilarating about that tactic, but she had not reacted precisely as he had hoped. Yes, her fear had been great in the beginning, but he had hoped she would put up a much more energetic struggle. There were a few times she had moaned… at least that little bit was delicious.
Now he had to contend with Anne… what a nuisance she was. She was as intimidated by Darcy as she had been by her mother. Her confrontation last evening had demanded he tell her what had happened. His assurances that he had just talked with Miss Bennet did not alleviate Anne’s anxiety. It was fear of her priggish husband’s disapproval that seemed to be driving her persistence. Most importantly, she worried Darcy would learn she had permitted him to be alone with the young woman. Anne had rambled on accusing him of tricking her, and asked why her young friend would act so strangely if they only talked. Years of practice al
lowed him to quickly find a plausible lie. He told his cousin how unhappy Miss Elizabeth had become when he told her there could be no future for her with him. Before leaving Anne had begged him not to even admit to Darcy that he had been in the house yesterday. It had been an easy concession. The last thing he needed was his cousin pestering him about whether anything untoward had happened between him and Miss Bennet.
As he dressed for the day, his thoughts turned to finding some little girl to being his mistress once he married. He laughed at the ridiculousness of his desire. There were plenty of very young courtesans who were schooled in the art of pretending to be a frightened maiden time after time… that was just not the same… but it might have to do. The better alternative might be to keep his hunting practices alive and well after he married. That way he would not have the expense of a mistress and the experience would be fresh each time. His father had accomplished a whole series of seductions. The Earl enjoyed tall, golden-haired, statuesque beauties. His father had wasted so much money over the years on his dalliances… now he expected Edmund to economize. On the other hand, at least he did not have to waste time with an occupation like Richard; and Miss Harding’s dowry would give him some much needed cash to play with.
Just then, he had a delightful thought… he would go to White’s and entertain his cronies with the story of the little country girl who helped with her buttons. That was the best part of yesterday. He remembered watching the wheels turn in her simple brain as she tried to figure out how to save her gown. The silly little chit had said she was worried about her sisters’ reputations.