Burning Monday: (Dane Monday 2)

by Liggio, Dennis

  This story was intended to be kind of ridiculous, so much license was taken with the truth. But I want to mention one part that is not made up. There are indeed organizations of bikers who do very good things for people. In particular, I want to call attention to Bikers Against Child Abuse International (BACA). If you've never checked out what they do, please visit their website or go online to research them. The world needs more groups like them.

  http://bacaworld.org/

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  About the Author

  Dennis Liggio is the author of twelve books, including I KILL MONSTERS, the DAMNED LIES series, THE LOST AND THE DAMNED, and the books set in the city of New Avalon. He is a veteran of the game industry, enjoys long walks on the beach while thumbing through tomes of unspeakable evil, and rumor has it that if you say his name three times in front of a mirror at midnight he will appear and give you Hostess Fruit Pies. He writes primarily in the genres of geeky absurdist humor, horror, and urban fantasy. He lives in Austin, Texas with his wife and two furry monsters.

  www.dennisliggio.com

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  Books by Dennis Liggio

  I Kill Monsters (Nowak Brothers #1)

  Mikkel and Szandor kill monsters. They're not government funded, they're not from a time-honored lineage of hunters, nor are they rich kids with lots of toys. They're two twenty-something brothers from the poor side of town who have taken it on themselves to rid the streets and underground of creatures who would prey on the innocent. Donning gas masks and using makeshift weaponry, they delve into the labyrinthine sewer system of New Avalon to grapple with snarling zombies, flesh-eating ghouls, insectoid hive creatures, and more. It's a dirty job and it rarely pays, but someone has to do it.

  Hired by a woman from the rich side of town who believes she's being stalked by monsters, the two brothers think they've finally gotten an easy job that will pay well. But as they follow the clues, things are not adding up. Kidnappings, jackbooted commandos, and mysterious emails are just the beginning. Soon they find themselves involved in something bigger than monsters. It's anybody's guess whether they'll come through it alive, much less get paid.

  I Kill Monsters is an exciting punk rock urban fantasy for those who enjoy their protagonists with a mouth on them and a weapon in their hands.

  Jabberwock Jack (Nowak Brothers #2)

  Mikkel and Szandor are back! Everyone's favorite monster hunters return for a new adventure, and this time it's a monster that's bigger than they have ever dealt with before! While on a routine job in the city's underground tunnels, they stumble on a creature thought lost for years. They are then invited to join a hastily assembled team of hunters going underground to try to kill the enormous serpent. Delving deeper into the darkness than they have ever gone before, Mikkel and Szandor find themselves searching for this massive beast in dark overflow tunnels and the endless labyrinth under New Avalon. But creatures beneath the city are not their only problem. Soon tensions begin running high among the assembled hunters, threatening to derail the mission and put them all in danger. Will they succeed, or will they fall prey to the gigantic monster known as Jabberwock Jack?

  The Case of the Dead Girl in my Apartment

  When Jake arrives home to find his not-quite-girlfriend Melody murdered in his apartment, things seem like they couldn't get any worse. But when the killer, a ferocious man turned monster, is still there and looking for something of Melody's, Jake fights for his life, just barely getting out of the apartment to safety. Now he's on the hook for the murder of Melody. To clear his name, his college friends put together a reluctant Mystery Gang: Anna, the mystery-obsessed Criminal Justice Major; Eva, Jake's best friend and escapee from New Avalon's high society; Nathan, cynical Philosophy Major; and Thomas, the weird Physics grad student from across town. Together they investigate the murder and the object they murderer was looking for, stumbling onto something bigger and stranger than they ever imagined. Monsters, memory wipes, magic, men in black, and a secret war of Good versus Evil for the fate of the city and possibly the world. Mysteries have never been this strange.

  Excerpt at the end of this book!

  Damned Lies

  Damned Lies is the true story of things that never happened. It is a fictional memoir of fantastic events. It is a chronicle of self-cloning, of adventure, of magic, of bare-fisted hobo boxing tournaments, of zombies, and more. It's the autobiography of a wild summer adventure out beyond the fields we know. It's the secret of what's hidden in a government bunker, it's the story of helping a nun with a crossbow hunt a vampire, it's the explanation of why you can't have that death ray you really wanted. It's a cautionary tale of just why cloning yourself is a really terrible idea.

  Damned Lies is a big fish story for those who don't fish. It's a shaggy dog story for cat lovers. It's the scifi fantasy humor memoir we'll all wish we dictated on our deathbed. It's why we can't have nice things.

  Damned Lies Strike Back

  Damned Lies Strike Back follows in the great tradition of sequels in that it is bigger, bolder, and dripping with franchise potential. Like a good sequel, it answers all the unanswered questions of the original (except for the ones it doesn't). It is exactly the sequel this world needs.

  This time around, our intrepid hero and friends battle the evil apocalyptic plans of his homicidal clone and a dangerous cult. At the same time he is facing his clone in the present day, he recounts the story of his first year in college where he formed a mystery gang to stop the nefarious plot of evil college professors. It all leads to a climactic sword fight and then a desperate epic battle against a true evil that we all know well...

  Damned Lies of the Dead 3D

  Damned Lies of the Dead 3D is not the zombie novel we need, but it's the zombie novel we deserve. In 1995, Austin, Texas was nearly wiped out by a zombie outbreak. This fact has been long suppressed, but the truth cannot be silenced. Now there is a firsthand account from our intrepid hero of just what happened... and how he survived. Only the dead know the truth...

  The Lost and the Damned

  There is a darkness waking up in the Bellingham mental hospital. Around this evil, the building is twisting and distorting, becoming a place of monsters and murders. With each death, the darkness grows stronger. Doors are opening to other times and other places, reality is shifting.

  Into this comes John Keats, a private detective more accustomed to catching infidelity than missing persons. In pursuit of a half a million dollar bounty, he has tracked down missing rock star Katie Vanders to Bellingham, but he has no idea what waits inside. It should have been easy money: go in, get the girl, and leave. But now that he is in the hospital, he has no way out. The exits are blocked, the hospital is falling apart, and something is chasing him. Even after finding Katie, there is no escape from this trap. His rescue mission has become a game of survival as the hospital twists apart across time and space.

  As deadly secrets are uncovered, a malevolent intelligence is awakening. Can John and Katie figure out how to stop it and escape the hospital, or will they find themselves forever lost in darkness?

  Voices of Madness

  Compelled by screaming voices, sorcerer William Drake travels across America in a desperate attempt to free himself from his misery. But the end of his pain may mean the resurrection of a god long banished from our world. Ripped apart and trapped, this god has gone mad over the centuries.

  As Drake carries out his plans, there is collateral damage. People die, prized possessions are stolen, vengeance is sworn. His actions disrupt the lives of four unlikely heroes who band together in an awkward alliance to stop him. Armchair occultist, Taoist exorcist, college dropout, and punk rock musician - they are a strange set of companions, but they're all that stand between Drake and the mad god.

  Will these four heroes stop Drake in time? Or wil
l the voices spur Drake on to the resurrection of a cosmic madness?

  Cowards and Killers

  "In the end, most of humanity are one of two things: cowards or killers."

  When Michael died, there was no Heaven waiting for him, no eternal rest. There were only two choices: Hell or killing his fellow man. Waking up after death in his own bed, he began receiving calls from a mysterious voice. The voice offers a simple option: become an assassin and kill those it designates. Refuse and the power that keeps him in the world will be removed... and he'll go straight to Hell.

  Coward or killer, he accepts the deal. In a black suit and tie that conceals his identity with a black gun that never runs out of bullets, he is their assassin. But he is not alone: there are other tortured souls who have agreed to the same bargain. They are all Hell-bound; only by killing their targets before the timers on their phones count down do they postpone their fate.

  But this is a fate Michael won't accept. Together with other agents, he plots to rebel against the mysterious voice and the blood-soaked deal. But can they really win this fight when the voice holds all the cards? With each kill, his humanity slips away. Is there a way to escape, or do all roads lead to Hell?

  Cthulhu, Private Investigator

  Cthulhu's partner, Dagon, has been found floating dead in the water at the docks. The Elder Gods have given him three days to find Dagon's killer, or Cthulhu is going to take the fall for it. Starting on the trail of a femme fatale that had hired Dagon, Cthulhu begins searching for the Pnakotic manuscripts and finds himself on everyone's hitlist. Navigating a web of lies and betrayal, he becomes involved with a rogue's gallery of untrustworthy Old Ones who are after the coveted Silver Key. As things hurtle towards their inevitable confusion, he discovers to what deadly lengths the others will go to obtain the Key.

  Excerpt from The Case of the Dead Girl in my Apartment

  Some stories start with sorrow, in the deepest pain, under the yoke of a great weight, and from the depths of a heart worn on a sleeve.

  I'm sorry. You'll never believe me, but I can't say it enough times: I'm sorry. This was my burden, but I wasn't strong enough, so I'm giving it to you. If you understood how terrible that is, you'd hate me. But I'm scared. It's too much for me. They're after me and I'm not safe anymore. They want this. More than they want me dead, they want this. I need you to take this. I choose you. You will bear my burden, one I have not sufficiently prepared you for. You will be what I couldn't. Nobody should have this weighing on their shoulders, but someone has to. For the whole world's sake. Know that I loved you, even if it didn't seem like I did. I wouldn't have trusted this with anyone I didn't love. And yet, I have given you my own death sentence with the hope that you save the world. I'm sorry.

  With shaking hands, she wrapped the scribbled note around the object and put it into a large envelope, pausing only to wipe away her tears. A mailbox greedily ate up her misery, her burden, and her tears. What came after she faced alone, empty of her strength and drained of her sorrows.

  Stories begin in strange places. Sometimes they begin with the smallest act, from the most humble beginnings. Others begin in the halls of our forefathers, as tradition is broken by the howls against darkness. Still other stories start with the hero's life, their determination burned into their stare, their heroic attitude waiting for the injustice that sets them off on their epic quest to thwart evil. In rare cases, they start with an epic fight, two foes meeting in a tense conflict.

  It is a shame that this story, a battle for the soul of a city, for the fate of the world, starts with someone abandoning a sacred responsibility. Luckily, at that same moment elsewhere in the city, a prophetic conflict was happening.

  Jake wouldn't call this fight epic, and truthfully, it wasn't even much of a fight. It was an embarrassing farce and yet it was happening. Somehow he found himself going toe-to-toe with a homeless man. This was a kind of ridiculousness that nobody ever thinks will happen. He hardly believed it himself - who gets into a fight with a transient? Especially on a busy street. Jake knew what kind of story it would be when he told his friends. Nathan alone would have a field day with it. Jake could hear the jibes now: "Let's have another round of drinks for my friend! He beat up a homeless guy today! What a man!"

  And even that assumed Jake would win the fight. He couldn't even imagine the jokes he would have to suffer if he lost.

  For all the ridiculousness and implausibility, it was true: Jake was actually fighting one of the city's dispossessed. A doomsayer of all things! The moment Jake had stepped out of the store, this disheveled man was in his way, pushing a poster board sign inscribed with END OF THE WORLD in Jake's face. The man howled "DOOM!" in full spluttering glory, spraying Jake's face with all sorts of unsavory saliva. The pungent bouquet of the man's unwashed scent assaulted Jake's nostrils, threatening to burn away all his nose hair. Jake was generally not big on confrontation and was usually rather tolerant of the less fortunate, but there's only so much a man could take when his personal space is invaded without warning. It was inevitable that Jake would push the man away.

  One push begets another. That's just the way of the universe unless a conscious decision to violate the reflexive order of things is made; none was made here. The homeless man, shocked at what he perceived to be an unprovoked attack, shoved Jake back, much harder than Jake had pushed him. And through the inevitable chain of cause and effect, there began a fumbling struggle, two men clumsily grasping and pulling. Neither was quite sure what they were trying to gain in the fight, but neither wanted to be the one to back down. Whether employed or homeless, fortunate or unfortunate, they were both men and their was pride at stake, each missing how bizarrely pathetic the fight was.

  That is not to suggest that they fought in solitude, that there were not those who saw them and witnessed the bizarre melee. Their conflict had many witnesses. Within seconds they had collected a small crowd around their shoving match. Even the urgency of rush hour could not pull the onlookers away from this spectacle. There was something mesmerizing about watching the two battle. Maybe the onlookers worried about the fight escalating into something far more violent. Maybe witnesses simply wanted everyone to be okay and watched in case someone needed help. Maybe there was something of this spectacle that could not be avoided, like watching a car crash or a train wreck. Maybe the watchers harbored their own secret rage and desired to bring violence to one of the homeless themselves but could only watch and live vicariously through Jake.

  The fight lasted only a minute. Jake gained the upper hand in their awkward tug of war and gave the transient a fierce push, causing the doomsayer to tumble out of the ad hoc fighting circle the onlookers had created.

  The homeless man stumbled through the crowd which parted almost magically for him. He fell to the ground with a strange finality. His tattered jacket spilled open and his ratty hoodie fell back. Bloodshot eyes looked out from beneath a mad tangle of hair. The man grabbed his strange backpack as if he expected everyone to descend upon it like it was gold. Jake could see the quick shimmer of Avalon Brass from a rip in the backpack. Crouched and paranoid, the doomsayer looked from side to side for possible attackers, the backpack held close to his chest. He took one last moment to glare at Jake, then he ran off through the crowd, leaving his sign on the ground. Jake looked down at the message that was scrawled on the sign in black marker. END OF THE WORLD.

  Jake realized with some discomfort that the crowd was looking at him expectantly. Was he supposed to say something? Did they expect the victor to give some speech? Was he somehow responsible for a post-fight experience? Was he to apologize for fighting the poor man, or was he to deliver some rhetoric about the infestation of despicable vagabonds? He would have felt less awkward if they applauded or criticized him, instead of mutely staring.

  Shaking his head, Jake sighed. He bent down and picked up the END OF THE WORLD sign. He folded it and stuffed it into a nearby trashcan. This seemed to break the spell. The onlookers stopped staring
and seemed to remember they had places to go. The crowd disappeared almost immediately, collapsing into the back and forth of rush hour pedestrians.

  Jake began to walk home too, trying to blend back into the pedestrian traffic. But it wasn't as easy as losing himself in his commute home. The fight had rattled him. The adrenaline still hadn't left his veins, the embarrassment still hadn't fallen from him, and the sense of being jarred from his normal life still clung to him. Physically, he was uncomfortable. All that shoving had even made him sweat. He felt clumsy. And though he was just moving through the crowd with everyone else, he felt like he had lost his anonymity. Though he could not catch a single eye, he felt like everyone was watching him. When his discomfort had reached its apex, he stopped walking. He pulled from the crowd to lean against a shop window and catch his breath.

  It wasn't just the fight that had rattled him, though it definitely had pushed his discomfort into overdrive. He had been tense before he even encountered the doomsayer. Jake had already been nervous, steeled for a fight he expected when he got home. Though his heart wasn't in it, he knew today would be the day. He was going to finally do it today. He had decided that earlier while at work and he needed to stick to his guns.

  But all his resolve seemed to wane in the wake of this improbable fight. It had set him off his game and rattled his nerves. He didn't know if he could go home and do what he needed to do now. Maybe his heart had never been in it.

  Jake was going home to break up with his girlfriend.

  When he finally pushed off the store window and began walking, he knew that the title "girlfriend' wasn't quite right. There wasn't a good term for things as they were. It was complicated; it was always complicated in these situations.