Heartwood

by J. H. Croix

  “You. Now,” I gasped, because I was beyond shame with him.

  “You’ve got me.”

  And then, I felt the delicious slide of him filling me. The stretch was intoxicating, and my head fell to his shoulder as my climax began to threaten.

  He fucked me slow and deep, each surge filling me more completely than the last. It was intense and more intimate than anything I’d ever experienced. Everything pulled tight like a string inside. It unraveled slowly, my release rippling in thick waves of pleasure when he was buried deep. I distantly heard myself crying his name and savoring the sound of mine when he shuddered roughly against me.

  The last thing I remembered was him carrying me upstairs. We stumbled out of our clothes and into bed. I fell asleep with him holding me close, feeling warm and safe and secure.

  19

  Ty

  Belle’s hair was damp as she smiled over at me. She was fresh-faced and pink-cheeked after a shower.

  “What time do you need to be in to work today?” I asked.

  “Earlier than usual. I’m doing some planning for specials with Phoebe. I should’ve thought about that last night and had you bring me to get my car.”

  I shook my head. “It’s no problem. I’ll drive you to town in just a few minutes if that’s all right.”

  Belle opened her mouth to reply when there was a sharp knock on the door. Her eyes widened curiously, while my gut tightened. I didn’t get many visitors, especially not unannounced ones. In fact, I could think of only one person who would show up unannounced like this.

  I debated ignoring it, but there was generally no ignoring my father, not when he was in a mulish mood.

  I looked at her. “It’s probably my father. I’ll warn you now, he’s likely to be an asshole.”

  She nodded. “Can I help you deal with him?” she whispered.

  I shrugged. “I’m going to tell him I don’t have time, which is true. I’m guessing he’s on his way up to see my sister in Burlington. Not that they have a great relationship either.”

  I opened the door right when another knock landed against it. My father stood there. I took the moment to absorb him. Those who knew us as a family often commented that I looked like him. That annoyed the hell out of me.

  His once dark hair was liberally salted with silvery gray. He didn’t even try to smile. “Good morning,” he opened with.

  “Hi, Dad.”

  “I’m on the way to check in with your sister and thought I’d stop to see how this ridiculous project of yours is coming along.”

  Fuck my life, and fuck my father. He rarely traveled, but I presumed he was doing some kind of weekend getaway with his girlfriend.

  My presumption moved beyond speculation when he added, “Cheryl’s waiting in the car. We’re staying at a bed and breakfast in Burlington.”

  I debated telling him to fuck off and leave, but I didn’t. He pushed past me, his eyes narrowing the moment they landed on Belle.

  “This is Belle,” I said, gesturing to her.

  My father strode quickly to her, holding his hand out.

  “Nice to meet you,” Belle said politely.

  “Tyler Connor, senior,” he offered.

  Belle merely smiled and dipped her head in acknowledgment after she shook his hand.

  “Girlfriend, I suppose,” my father said, turning to look back toward me.

  I nodded. I didn’t really want to chat with my father about any relationship, much less what I had with Belle. Perhaps we hadn’t defined it yet, but trying to clarify it with him would only lead to questions. “We actually need to leave,” I added.

  My father glanced around, his eyes landing back on mine. “Well, it does look good. I still think you’re wasting time in this town.”

  I fought the anger rising inside of me. “Dad, I’m not working for you.”

  My impatience with my reaction to him was clenching like an icy fist around my heart. I strode past him and out the door. I wasn’t going to stand for him trying to insert himself in my morning.

  Moments later, I was outside, and I couldn’t even enjoy the crisp autumn morning. My father stopped beside me. “Is it serious?”

  “What?”

  “Your girlfriend,” he muttered, gesturing over his shoulder with his thumb.

  “It’s none of your business.”

  Blessedly, my father left. I watched his car disappear down my drive, frustrated with myself and the helpless anger I felt in his presence. Turning, I saw Belle coming through the door. She was looping her purse over her shoulder.

  I was embarrassed and annoyed as hell she had to see what kind of man my father was. She stopped beside me and blinked up at me. “Well, that was annoying.”

  I couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corners of my mouth at that. “Annoying?” I prompted.

  “Yes. As you warned me, your father’s not very nice. I find it annoying he ruined a perfectly nice morning.”

  Without thinking, I stepped closer and looped my arms around her waist. “Kind of like a fly?”

  Belle’s lips twisted to the side as she pondered this. “Sort of, but flies are easy to deal with. You just have to swat them. Come to think of it, I suppose it could’ve been effective to chase him out with a flyswatter.”

  I threw my head back with a laugh. When I looked back down at her, my heart thumped hard, and I felt a sense of lightness stealing through me, like an unexpected warm breeze. Belle was turning out to be more than I bargained for. My memories of our nights before had sharpened, and our recent nights had more than lived up to my recollection.

  But it was more than that. I liked her. A lot. I didn’t even know what to make of the sense of protectiveness she expressed about me and my father. I loved how easily she dismissed him as nothing more than a nuisance.

  I drove her back to her place and headed back home to do some work downstairs. Working with my hands always helped clear my mind.

  On the drive back, my phone rang. I saw my sister’s name flash on my dashboard screen and tapped to answer. Before I could get a word out, Jess said, “I think I’m late with my warning.”

  “You mean that Dad and Cheryl were coming up for a weekend at a bed and breakfast?”

  Jess let out a frustrated groan. “Yes. Mom hasn’t said a word, but when I called his office, his receptionist told me.”

  All these years, and our father still didn’t know his receptionist thought he was an asshole. About the only thing my father did right was pay people who stayed at his company well. I had to credit him for that, even if I didn’t want to. As it was, Elaine still worked there, and for years had been our go-to point of contact if we needed a status update on our father.

  “Yeah, well, he stopped by this morning.”

  “Oh, God, was it awful?”

  “Belle was here, so she got to meet him. Fortunately, I gave her a warning. He didn’t stay long, and I walked him out.”

  “Ugh. He texted me and said he wanted to get together for lunch. Why does he do stuff like this? I’ve even told him I think he’s a dick,” Jess said, her tone exasperated.

  I chuckled, watching as some brightly colored orange leaves scudded across the road in front of me.

  “You’ve been telling me I just need to tell him to fuck off and he’ll stop being a jerk to me,” I teased.

  I could practically see my sister’s face, her nose wrinkling and her eyes narrowing. “Change of subject. How are things going with Belle?”

  “Well, she spent the night.”

  “So what?” Jess scoffed. “You are the king of the hookup. Do you actually like her?”

  I pondered my sister’s question and decided to be honest. “I do, but I’m not sure what she wants. Or what I want, for that matter.”

  “Don’t let our parents’ shitty marriage ruin romance for you.”

  “I could say the same to you,” I countered.

  I could practically see her eyes rolling, hard. “Whatever. I’m younger than you. You
took that job at Speakeasy because you love the town and said it was the kind of life you wanted. A place where people weren’t all plastic and fake. You should try to find someone, and Belle sounds great. It’s a hot second chance romance.”

  Now, I was rolling my eyes. “Okay, enough with that. I like Belle and let’s just leave it at that for now. Why don’t you update me on your love life?”

  “Dude, my love life is like a desert. I like it that way.”

  “Jess,” I began.

  “Don’t start with me. I know I probably shouldn’t give you grief either. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a warning on Dad coming by. At least you don’t have to have lunch with him.”

  “You don’t have to have lunch with him.”

  “I know I don’t,” she muttered. “He caught me off guard is all.”

  “Same here. All right, sis, I gotta go.” I turned down my driveway, my truck bouncing a little on the dirt road.

  We hung up, and I threw myself into finishing the windowsills downstairs and considering how I wanted to plan the walls. I’d thought I had it all decided and would rent this space out as a separate apartment. And yet, here I was, wondering how to do it in such a way that if I later wanted more space for myself, it would be an easy modification.

  Every time Belle sashayed through my thoughts, I shied away. I wasn’t quite comfortable acknowledging, even in the privacy of my own fucking mind, that she was the one who had me wondering if my cynicism around relationships could be overcome.

  20

  Belle

  “Heavenly, right?” Audrey prompted, resting her elbows on the counter at the Busy Bean.

  “Yes,” I said once I finished chewing.

  Their baker, a strapping young man named Roderick, had just brought out a fresh batch of bagels, and I’d immediately ordered one. They were, in fact, heavenly.

  She cast me a warm smile as she straightened. Just then, Zara came through the door, the bell above the door jingling to announce her arrival.

  Audrey turned her smile on Zara, asking, “Are you hungry?”

  “Starving.” Zara rested her hips on the counter, her shoulders sagging.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “I’m fine. Our youngest had a fussy night is all. I think I got maybe two hours total between waking up and trying to go back to sleep.”

  Audrey patted her on the shoulder. “You need a coffee.” She turned to the barista who smiled. “Already getting it ready.”

  “And here, have one of these. They’re still hot from the oven and they’re delicious,” Audrey added, lifting a bagel. “Come to think of it, you should sit down. You’re here early.”

  Zara shuffled over to a table, catching my eye. “Sit with me.”

  I wasn’t going to say no to that. I’d been coming here almost every other day. I loved the little café, plus the coffee was sublime and the baked goods were always yummy. The other plus? I was getting to know Audrey and Zara, and I thought maybe I could be friends with them. I felt silly thinking of it like that, but I’d felt set adrift when it came to the friend situation. Being a total book nerd wasn’t always the best for forming friendships. Then, I’d blown my life up and was totally embarrassed about it. My closest friend had moved away after law school. She knew everything that was going on for me, but it’s not like we could see each other that often.

  It felt like everything in life was some kind of test for me. I couldn’t do friendship on my merits. Even thinking about it like that felt silly. The scaffolding that had held me up had fallen away when I dropped out of law school. Making friends felt so tentative, and yet I craved it. I wanted more than friendships based on shared academic achievements.

  I sat down across from Zara, and she took a long swallow of her coffee. “I needed that,” she said when she set it down.

  Audrey crossed over, setting a plate down with a fresh bagel in front of Zara. “Taste it,” she ordered.

  Zara obediently took a bite. “Ooh, that’s good,” she said as she finished chewing.

  Audrey’s eyes twinkled. “So good.”

  Audrey ended up grabbing a chair and sitting down with us. They chatted about work things for a few minutes before Audrey looked at me with what I promptly learned was a deceptively innocent smile. “So, I saw you leaving with Ty the other night.”

  I almost choked on my sip of coffee. Zara cast me a rueful smile. “If you haven’t figured it out yet, this is a small town. It’s very hard to keep secrets around here.”

  “You kept a secret,” Audrey said, lightly tapping her on the shoulder.

  I was grateful for the diversion. “Do tell.”

  Zara rolled her eyes. “When I was pregnant with Nicole, my oldest, I refused to tell anyone who the father was.”

  “Um, isn’t Dave the father?” I asked, almost incredulous.

  Having met Dave, I knew Zara’s daughter Nicole had the exact same shade of coppery red hair as Dave, which wasn’t all that common.

  Audrey bit her lip to keep from laughing. Zara narrowed her eyes, shaking her head slightly before turning her attention back to me. “Yes, he is. I thought he was just a summer fling. I didn’t even know his last name, and then I turned out to be pregnant.”

  “Oh. Wow. You didn’t know he was a pro hockey player?” I pressed.

  Audrey laughed aloud this time. “She was getting it on with a hot hockey star, and she didn’t even know it.”

  Zara took another bite of her bagel, shrugging lightly. After she finished chewing, she added, “Dave came back for another summer vacation with some of his teammates. After that, I told everyone he was the father. To be fair, I did tell my twin brother, Benito. I wanted his help finding him since Benito’s a cop. I didn’t even have Dave’s last name right though, so it was hit or miss.”

  “That’s an impressive secret to keep.”

  Zara cast me a wry smile. “Rumors would’ve flown if Nicole didn’t have Dave’s hair. There are way more guys with dark hair like mine,” she said, pointing to her own hair. “Enough of that. My point is, it’s hard to keep secrets around here.”

  “Just ask May,” Audrey chimed in.

  “What secret is May keeping?” I asked, honestly wondering.

  “Oh, she tried to keep her little fling with Alec a secret, but she conveniently forgot that this café opens early, and we share parking. I kept seeing her car at The Gin Mill when they were sneaking around,” Audrey said with a grin.

  “Aren’t they really together?” I pressed.

  “Oh, totally. They’re in love,” Audrey offered.

  “What is the deal with you and Ty?” Zara asked, effectively ending the foray away from me in this conversation.

  “We knew each other in college. Just a hookup.” I tried to sound nonchalant, but I wasn’t really feeling it.

  “I know all about “just a hookup”,” Audrey commented with air quotes included.

  When I looked her way, she added, “That’s what Griffin was. Now we’re married, and we have a kid. My whole life is here. I thought I was going to be a chef running a trendy restaurant in Boston, but I’m here with him, and it’s the best decision I ever made.”

  “It’s really cool you got to do real chef training,” I replied, experiencing a twinge of insecurity. “I love cooking, but for me, it’s all been learning on the fly.”

  Audrey nudged me gently with her elbow, her eyes warm when I glanced up. “Phoebe told me you’re doing a great job, but that’s boring. Tell us more about you and Ty.”

  I stared at her, a subtle sense of panic spinning inside me. Audrey couldn’t know it, but I was having feelings about my feelings about Ty.

  Zara caught my eyes. “Don’t stress. No one expects you to keep the world up to speed on your love life.” She paused, her eyes sliding to the side. “Actually, some people probably do.”

  Audrey shrugged.

  “Should I stress about the fact people are noticing that there might be a thing with me and Ty? He’s the genera
l manager there, even if I don’t answer directly to him.”

  “I mean, maybe it’s a problem for you,” Zara offered. “But I don’t think you’re going to get fired over something like that.”

  “Just don’t let it interfere with work,” Audrey offered.

  At that moment, the door to the café opened and Ty came walking through with Dave. They appeared to be deep in conversation. Zara lifted a hand in a quick wave. Dave’s head whipped in her direction. He didn’t even hesitate, practically stopping mid-sentence with Ty and crossing to her. Ty grinned and followed him over.

  “Hey,” Dave said as he bent low and dropped a kiss on Zara’s cheek. He greeted Audrey and then me.

  I managed to say something polite, but I was utterly distracted. When Ty’s eyes met mine, heat bloomed through me and butterflies spun in my belly. I hoped my cheeks weren’t too flushed and looked down at my coffee before taking a sip.

  The thing was, I liked Ty. A lot. Liking him, especially as much as I did, might be complicated in the small worlds of Colebury and Speakeasy.

  21

  Ty

  The next few weeks flew by. With leaf peepers passing through the small towns in Vermont in droves and Speakeasy’s reputation as a fabulous gastropub and beer aficionados’ destination, work was hopping. Belle and I settled into a rhythm.

  For me, Belle was like a personal gravitational force. I could only take so many days away from her before I was pulled to her again. We’d see each other, and it would be hot, hot, smokin’ hot. We moved past the rushed sex and took time to savor each other. It felt like we were actually getting to know each other, both intimately speaking and in spending time with each other.

  One morning after she’d spent the night, when neither one of us was working that day, I looked over and surprised myself. “Want to go to Burlington with me for the day?”

  Belle’s eyes whipped to mine, widening slightly. She hesitated, and I added, “I have to pick up some equipment for the brewery at Speakeasy.”