Hate Me or Love Me

by Ella Miles

  I watch her bite her lip out of the corner of my eye, but I can’t take my eyes off her breasts. Her nipples are hard, begging for me to take them into my mouth. I grip my hands to keep from feeling the fullness and softness of her breasts.

  She clears her throat, and I look up at her. She thinks she’s won this fight. That, if I show her how badly I want to fuck her, she will have the upper hand. So, I do the only thing I can to keep my power.

  I pull her onto the bed. I toss her over me onto the bed next to me, and I climb on top of her, pinning her to the bed beneath me. Our faces are millimeters apart as we both breathe fast. She licks her bottom lip, anticipating a kiss that I’m desperate to give her.

  In all our years together, growing up, I never thought to taste her lips. I never thought to date her. To make out with her. To get her naked. Fuck her. But then the girl I used to know would never have dared to get naked in front of me just so she could win a fight.

  I move just a little closer, taking every second of this in because this is the closest I will ever get to her. I won’t fuck her. Even if I wanted to, she hates me too much to let me touch her. This is just a game to her.

  “Good night, Tori.” I roll off of her, rolling away from her to turn off the light.

  She growls lightly in her throat.

  “Disappointed, Tori?”

  “No, just shocked that you are able to resist me.”

  I roll back over and throw my arms around her, pressing my dick against her ass. “You want me to be nice and caring and do what’s right, right?”

  She nods.

  “This is me doing that.”

  I pull her tighter to me, showing her just how badly I want her. My cock pushes harder against her. And, if she listens closely, she will be able to hear my heart beating as fast as hers.

  “Comfortable?” I ask, knowing that she won’t say no. She’s too stubborn, just like me.

  “Perfect.”

  I grin.

  “Good night, Victoria.”

  She sucks in a breath, and despite how exhausted she is, I know she isn’t going to be able to sleep a wink. I wish I had the same problem. I would love to remember every second of holding her tonight. I want to remember every curve, every smell, every sound. I want to hear her restlessness at the fact that I’m so close to her. I want to hear her gasp when my hand accidentally brushes against her breast. I want to know when she regrets ever undressing in front of me.

  But I can’t. I won’t be able to stay awake. I know my body too well. I know that the second it realizes it doesn’t get to fuck her, I’ll be out, and I’ll miss all the moments I’m desperate to remember.

  7

  Victoria

  Damn it.

  How stupid could I be to think I could win a fight with Carter Woods?

  He’s had years of practice in winning fights while I’ve just barely started learning how to fight back. And, now, I’m more exhausted than ever before. I’m not sure I slept more than an hour or two all night. Either his arms or his legs were wrapped tightly around me, even when he was fast asleep. His cock pushed hard against me, driving me mad. I’ve fucked plenty of men, but I’ve rarely slept all night in the bed with them. I’m used to sleeping on my own, and Carter made it impossible for me to sleep.

  I didn’t think he would have the strength to resist me, not when I was naked in his bed. I’m not sure if I would have actually let him fuck me or just taunted him to prove my point.

  But it doesn’t matter now. He’s proven yet again that he can win any game. I just have to learn to win when he doesn’t realize we are playing the game.

  “Sleep well, Victoria?” he asks, stretching after getting a full night’s sleep, releasing me for the first time all night.

  I don’t know whether to hate or love that his arms are no longer wrapped around me.

  I give him a dirty look because I know he will know if I’m lying to him.

  He smirks as his eyes drop down to my breasts. There’s a gleam there I’ve found in his usual stare when he looks at me.

  I don’t cover my body. I let him see what he missed. I gave him plenty of chances to apologize. To have sex with me. Now, he needs to know how much of a mistake not fucking me was.

  “I’m going to shower,” I say, walking to the door so that he can stare at my ass.

  “Don’t use all the hot water!” he shouts when I open the door and walk out.

  I sigh. I don’t know what it’s going to take to break him. I threw myself at him, naked, and he still didn’t take the bait. He’s winning, and I’m not sure how to stop him.

  “Please put some clothes on, sis,” Logan says as he walks down the hallway, shielding his eyes.

  I grab a towel from the bathroom and cover up. “Sorry, I forgot you were here.”

  His eyes look at me and then the door to the guest bedroom that I left open. “Wait,” he says, looking back and forth again. “You and Carter?” He looks to the bedroom door. “I’m going to kill him.”

  Logan starts storming down the hallway to give Carter a piece of his mind.

  I bite my lip. I should say something. Let him know that Carter didn’t fuck me. He just slept with me naked in his bed while he tortured me with his unrelenting touch and hotness. I might not be able to win against Carter, but at least Logan can chew him out.

  I step into the office with a fake smile on my face when I realize that Carter is already here. I don’t know how he got here so fast since I occupied the only bathroom until the last possible second before I needed to leave to get here on time. But, somehow, he looks clean and completely put together, as he always does.

  “Good morning, Lily,” I say, ignoring Carter.

  He stares me down as I enter.

  “Good morning,” Lily says, seeming relaxed, which is good since she has the television interview this evening.

  Her phone buzzes, and she answers.

  I turn my attention to Carter. “You look surprisingly clean and well dressed for someone who didn’t have access to a bathroom this morning.”

  He leans back in his chair while I take a seat next to him.

  “I used Logan’s neighbor’s bathroom. Katherine didn’t mind me using her place in exchange for getting my company.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “So, you offered to sleep with her in exchange for using a bathroom? How desperate are you?”

  He leans close to me. “Not as desperate as you are to have sex with me.”

  I push him away from me. He falls back in his chair with a thump, but it’s not enough. I want to slap him in the face. I shouldn’t feel that way. He’s not mine. If he wants to sleep with the hot neighbor, he can. But I’m tired of him taunting me about it.

  “Did Logan let you have it?” I ask, knowing that will at least push his buttons a little.

  “Logan doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Carter says, staring off into space.

  I sigh. “I should have told him that you didn’t fuck me last night. But it was too fun for me to let him yell at you first.”

  “He knows I didn’t fuck you,” Carter says with a seriousness in his voice I wasn’t expecting, turning back to me.

  I tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Then, what was all the yelling about?”

  Carter swallows. “He thinks I’m going to hurt you.”

  I laugh. “You already have—about a million times. Nothing you do now can really hurt me.” I sigh, running my hand through my hair, pulling out the few curls that I have. “Don’t worry. I’ll talk to Logan when I get back. You’ll still be best friends.”

  “I’m not worried about my relationship with Logan.”

  My heart stops when I see how Carter is looking at me. I’m not sure what to think. I see the lust that was there last night, but I also see something else that I don’t understand. There’s a kindness that I haven’t seen before, especially when he’s looking at me.

  “Sorry about that,” Lily says, hanging up the phone.

&nbs
p; I swallow and turn to give my full attention to Lily. If I’m going to beat Carter, then I have to focus everything I have on this job.

  “So, prepare me for this interview,” Lily says with a large smile on her face that looks as fake as my warm feelings toward Carter.

  “I have a list of questions that they will most likely ask you. How about we start with me just reading through them and you answering honestly? Then, we will go from there.”

  Lily twists her bracelet around her wrist as she swallows. “Sure.”

  She’s nervous. Everything in her body is screaming just how terrified she is about this interview. I never thought that Lily would be terrified of an interview. She loves the camera. But I guess, after what happened the last time she did an interview, I don’t blame her. But it’s going to take all day to get her feeling comfortable again.

  I eye Carter out of the corner of my eye. I’m ready for him to argue with me, saying that my plan isn’t the best way to start our preparations. But he doesn’t say anything. Maybe he will actually behave today.

  I pull out my notes with the questions that I wrote up. “Let’s start with some easy questions. Why do you want to be a senator?”

  “Because I want to make a difference. I’m tired of always being the pretty girl who is just meant to marry the attractive guy, and that’s it. I want my life to be more than just some hot body that men ogle. My passion is helping children. I want to make sure that no child ever has to go a day hungry. I want to make sure that all children have access to the best education. I want to make sure that all children can get the medical care they need. And I want to be a role model to little girls everywhere, showing that they can grow up and become a powerful woman who can bring about change in the world.”

  I smile. Her answer isn’t perfect, but it doesn’t need to be. The way she spoke with such sincerity—that’s what is important here.

  “Don’t mention yourself as a role model to girls. It’s going to trigger too many questions about how you could be a role model for girls when you made a sex tape. You also need to dig deeper,” Carter says.

  I glare at him. He’s going to make her lose what little confidence she has on the first question. She’s going to be a mess by the end of our session if he keeps nitpicking her like this.

  “Actually, I think you were amazing, Lily. I wouldn’t change anything. Let’s just go through all the questions, and then we can discuss how to make the most important answers better,” I say.

  Lily’s eyes dart back and forth between the two of us.

  Carter turns to me with his own devilish glare, his face tense, and I can tell he is doing everything he can to hold back his anger. “I know you don’t have a ton of experience in preparing people for interviews, but if we let her practice wrong, that is what she is going to remember when she gets asked questions in the actual interview.”

  He turns to Lily. “I’m not going to coddle you, like Tori wants to. You’re better than that.”

  I can’t hold back my anger and frustration with him. I thought we could be civil, for Lily’s sake, but I guess I was wrong.

  “Next question. What is the status of your relationship with your fiancé?”

  Lily freezes as the tension rises. She’s unsure of who to answer or what to say. We are making this worse. If she can survive the day with the two of us arguing, she will be able to survive any stupid interview questions thrown her way. I’m just not sure if I can put up with Carter for an entire day without killing him.

  “I can’t handle this anymore!” Lily screams, grabbing her head.

  Carter and I both freeze, staring at her. We’ve spent the better half of the morning arguing about how she should answer each question. Every single question came with an argument. Every. Single. One.

  I’m not surprised to see Lily breaking like this. She deserves better than what we are giving her.

  “This was a mistake,” she says, standing up and pacing back and forth in front of the table in the room we have been cooped up in.

  I stand up and walk over to her. “I’m sorry, Lily. We will take it down a notch. You’re doing great. If you can put up with us drilling you now, then you will do a great job tonight at your interview.”

  Her eyes widen, and I see the true fear and anger come out in one look.

  “No.” She strides over to her chair, grabbing her jacket and her purse.

  Carter stands up, blocking her way to the door. He grabs on to her shoulders. “Relax, Lily. You got this.”

  She laughs. “I’m not worried about myself. I’ve done interviews countless times. I know what to say and what not to say. I know how to say charming things to distract the audience from what they should be worrying about. How do you think I got this far? But what I can’t put up with is you two bickering. I thought I was being smart when I hired both of you, but now, I realize just how much of a mistake that was.”

  She takes a deep breath and then looks back to me. “I’m going to the salon to get my hair colored and get my nails done. Give me the interview questions.”

  I slowly walk over, handing her my notebook of questions.

  She snatches them out of my hand. “I’ll prepare for the interview on my own. And, when I get back, you two had better have worked out whatever shit is going on between the two of you. And, if I hear one more stupid argument, then I’m going to fire you both. I don’t need this stress right now.” She looks at Carter, who is still blocking her path to the exit. “Now, move.”

  He opens his mouth to say something but thinks better of it and steps out of her way. She stomps out of the room, leaving Carter and me alone in the meeting room.

  “Great job,” Carter says, snarky.

  “You’re an ass,” I say, gathering my things.

  I take Lily’s lead and walk out. I know it is going to do nothing to solve our current predicament, but I can’t let myself stay trapped in the same room with him for another second.

  I march quickly out of the building, not caring that, by doing so, I’m probably losing yet another job and my best shot at starting my own firm. My head is already spinning with how I can salvage this, but my ideas all start with me strangling Carter to death because he is the root of all my problems. Every problem I’ve ever had started with him.

  “Tori, wait,” I hear Carter yell behind me as I continue down the sidewalk to my rental car.

  I freeze. Don’t engage him. Just walk away. Give up. Let him deal with Lily. I can find a new job. I don’t need this one client in order to start my career. That’s what I should do. Just get in my rental, go back to Logan’s, pack up my things, and get on the first flight back to California.

  But I can’t give up so easily. I’m too stubborn for that.

  I turn around. “What did you just call me?”

  He cocks his arrogant head to the side. “You aren’t running away, are you, Tori?”

  I can’t control myself anymore. I stomp over to where Carter is standing on the sidewalk, and I slap him. Hard. Across the face.

  It’s not one of my better moments as far as judgment goes, but I can’t let him just get away with being the biggest jerk on the planet anymore. I’m tired of him hurting me even though I should be used to it by now.

  He doesn’t seem shocked that I hit him. In fact, he seems like that is exactly what he wanted. “I thought I couldn’t hurt you anymore.”

  My nostrils flare, and my face turns bright red as I try to keep my breathing even and cold. “I lied.”

  He nods, putting his hands into his pockets, as he walks closer to me. “I know.”

  I take a step back. I don’t want him anywhere near me.

  “I’m sorry.”

  I pause at his words before walking backward, and he takes another step forward, gaining on me.

  “You aren’t capable of being sorry. At least, not toward me.”

  He nods. “You’re right. I probably don’t deserve your forgiveness, but does it make you feel any better to know that th
e past two hours have just been me goading you, trying to get you to break, so that I could prove to you that I’m still capable of hurting you?”

  “No, it doesn’t make me feel any better that you purposefully hurt me to prove a point.”

  He bites his lip, and I find myself staring far too intently at his damn lips. How can I find a man I hate so sexy? It shouldn’t be possible.

  He takes another step toward me until he’s only a foot away from me. “I needed to know.”

  “Why?” I throw my hands up. “Why did you need to know that you could still hurt me?”

  He reaches his hand out and lightly touches me on my bottom lip. “Because, believe it or not, I care about you.”

  I laugh. “You can’t care about me. It’s not possible.”

  His hand goes to the back of my neck before I realize what he is doing. He pulls me hard toward him. Our lips crash together in a hungry kiss. My eyes close the second our lips touch. My hands wrap around his neck, and my body responds to his. The kiss makes me forget about all the pain he’s caused me. It makes me want him. It makes me ache for him. He takes complete control over my body with just one single kiss.

  “No,” I say, pushing him away from me. “I won’t let you control me. You don’t get to just kiss me and make everything better.”

  “How am I controlling you if this is what you want?”

  “You think I want this?” I motion between us.

  “I know you do. You can’t kiss me like that and not want this.”

  I laugh. “I can. You can kiss me a million times, and I will never want anything more. There is nothing you can do to make up for the past. Nothing.”

  He narrows his eyes. “Even this?”

  He scoops me back into his arms and kisses me again. My breathing stops as he kisses me. His tongue pushes deep into my mouth, begging me to let go of our past. To let him in.

  I shouldn’t. I know that, if I do, nothing but pain will follow. But, with his hand tangled in my hair, my body in his arms, his lips kissing me like I’ve wanted him to since the second I saw him again, I forget about the pain.