Hate Me or Love Me

by Ella Miles

  “And then, the next morning, I got her coffee again. Eventually, she started paying me to be her assistant. She got me off the street and into the apartment that I live in now. She saved me.

  “And so, a year ago, she told me about you. Except she never used your name. She always referred to you as her baby, honey, sweetheart, et cetera. She was so in love—or so she said. She thought you were going to propose soon. She was living the fairy-tale life.

  “But, over the next couple of years, I got to know Jamie. I knew that, even though you had dated on and off for years, she wasn’t ready to settle down. She had a company to run, and all she talked about was, once you proposed, she would sell the company and be a stay-at-home mom. But she wasn’t ready for that. And, from everything I’d heard about you, you weren’t ready for that. So…”

  “So, you broke us up,” I finish for her.

  She nods.

  “You showed her that message,” I say.

  She nods. “You left your phone at her apartment. So, I just let her see what an ass you were.”

  “She broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. But I wasn’t.”

  The tears fall now. “I didn’t realize it until later—when your mother texted that she loved you back. I hadn’t realized it was your mother, but by then, Jamie had already broken up with you, and I thought it was for the best. I thought I was saving her from a life of unhappiness. I didn’t want her to give up everything she had worked so hard for. She needed a man who fit into her life.

  “I was one of her closest friends, yet the guy she had been seeing for over a year never even made an attempt to meet me. He never came to her work. She spent most of her time traveling to see him. I didn’t think it was the healthiest relationship.”

  She takes a deep breath.

  “But, now that I see you two together, I realize how mistaken I was. You two are perfect for each other.”

  Her tears flow freely while I’m in a state of shock.

  “I’m so sorry, Sean,” Olive says before she pushes past me, leaving me feeling completely empty.

  My heart is broken. And I have no idea how to put it back together.

  22

  Olive

  I quit.

  I’d been calling in sick all week long, and tonight, I finally quit. Jamie invited me over to her house to get some maternity clothes that she said were too small for her, although I can’t imagine them ever fitting me. And I told her that I was quitting.

  She was sad but understood. I told her I was moving in with Owen, but I’m not sure she bought that. Honestly, I haven’t even talked to Owen yet. I’ve been completely avoiding it like the plague.

  Jamie wanted me to stay and talk about it, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t handle the thought that Sean could come over to her place at any moment or text or call her. Jamie was clearly back to her happy and bubbly self, so I’m guessing that she and Sean are back together.

  I take a brownie from the tray I made earlier today and take a seat on my bed to eat it. Other than talking to Jamie, the only thing I’ve accomplished all week is baking and then eating everything that I baked. At this rate, I’ll gain a hundred pounds in a month.

  That can’t be good for the baby. I should start making some avocado brownies or something, so at least, I will be getting something other than sugar into me.

  I sigh.

  I’m pregnant, I think, looking down at my stomach.

  It’s something I’ve always said I wanted but not this way with a man I hate. Although I’ve always wanted to be a mother, thinking about the fact that it is actually happening right now scares me to death.

  Because, right now, if you asked me if I wanted a baby, the answer would be no. And that is a horrible thought.

  I need to do something. Plan my life. Maybe then I’ll feel better. If I have a plan for my life. A job. I need to find a new job ASAP if I don’t want to end up back on the street.

  It’s too big to figure out right now. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I have my real estate license. Maybe I could find a job with a new company or start my own. I have skills now. I’ll find something to do.

  There is something I need to do that I’ve been putting off all week. I need to tell Owen. He deserves to know. As much as I never want to see him again, I no longer have that choice.

  I finish my brownie. Then, I get out of bed and get an Uber to Owen’s apartment.

  I’ve paced in front of Owen’s door a dozen times now. I’ve lifted my hand several times to knock, but I’ve come short every single time.

  Sean was wrong. He used to tell me that he thought I was brave and strong. But I don’t have a brave or strong bone in my body right now.

  I stand in front of Owen’s door again. I raise my hand, and then the door suddenly opens.

  “What the hell are you doing, Olive? I’m about to call the police,” Owen says.

  “I’m sor—” But I stop myself before I apologize because I’m not sorry. Not at all. “Can I come in?”

  Owen raises an eyebrow. “Why would I let you in after you destroyed my property last time?”

  I fold my arms across my chest. “We need to talk. So, either let me in or go to a coffee shop or something with me so that we can talk.”

  “I have nothing else to say to you,” Owen says, trying to shut the door in my face.

  “I’m pregnant!” I shout at the last minute.

  The door slowly creeps back open, and Owen stares at me with narrow eyes. “And how is this my problem?”

  I close my eyes, trying to remain calm and be the bigger person. “Because I thought you might want to know that it’s yours.”

  He laughs like it is the most ridiculous thing he has ever heard. “How do I know it’s mine? You’ve been with who knows how many men since me, and you were probably cheating with who knows how many men. It could be anyone’s.”

  My mouth drops a little at the shock of what he said. Of all the ways I imagined this conversation going, I didn’t imagine it going like this.

  “The baby is yours.”

  He laughs again. “I don’t believe you.” He starts to close the door again and says, “Don’t come back here again unless you are bringing brownies. That was the only thing you were ever good at anyway.”

  He slams the door shut in my face while I’m frozen at the door.

  I’m on my own. Owen doesn’t care. And I don’t know if that makes me incredibly happy or incredibly sad. I’m happy that I don’t ever have to see Owen again, but I’m incredibly sad that my child will grow up without a father. I know the feeling.

  But I do have to thank Owen for one thing. He just gave me an incredible idea and the motivation to make it happen.

  23

  Sean

  “What is going on?” Jamie asks. “You’re falling completely apart on me. Do I need to come into work to help you out for a bit?”

  “No. You need to stay right here on this couch, relaxing, like the doctor told you to,” I say as I rub her feet on my lap.

  “I don’t know if I can. I thought I was leaving my company in the hands of the best two people in the world, but one quit on me, and the other one is falling apart,” Jamie teases.

  “What do you mean, one quit?”

  “Olive quit. I’ve been expecting it for some time. Real estate and management have never been right for her. It’s one of the reasons I never gave her a raise. I was hoping it would motivate her enough to find something else.”

  “That’s not fair. Olive would have made a great manager,” I say.

  “I know that she would have. She just wouldn’t have been happy. She needs to find something that truly makes her happy on her own.”

  “Olive never left before because she felt like she owed you. She was trying to be loyal to you.”

  Jamie bites her lip as she thinks for a moment. “You might be right. But it all worked out in the end. I think the thought of having a baby finally pushed her to find something that
truly makes her happy.”

  I nod. I wasn’t sure that Olive would leave. I thought she might stay and ask to open an office to run somewhere else. But she’s gone. And I can’t decide if it makes my life easier or harder.

  “You’re tickling me,” Jamie says, laughing, pulling her feet out of my lap.

  “Sorry,” I say, looking at her again.

  “Stop looking at me like that. You are freaking me out,” Jamie says.

  “Have you ever thought about us getting together again?”

  Jamie frowns and sits up on the couch with her feet on the floor. “Why would I think about that?”

  “Olive told me about what happened when we broke up. That it was all just a big misunderstanding. I didn’t really cheat on you.”

  Jamie bites her lip. “I knew you didn’t cheat on me.”

  “You mean, Olive told you?”

  “No, I mean, I knew when she showed me that message that it was from your mom.”

  “I don’t understand. Then, why did you break up with me?”

  “Because I wanted the white picket fence, the house, the baby. And you didn’t.”

  I frown. “I did, too. I always told you that I wanted to settle down, start a family, and have a normal life.”

  Jamie sighs. “Yes, you always told me that, but it isn’t what you wanted.”

  I shake my head. “It is what I wanted. It’s still what I want.”

  Jamie laughs. “I know you, Sean Burrows, better than you know yourself. You don’t want a suburban house, and you don’t want kids. I’m not even sure if you want a wife. You want adventure. You want someone who challenges you. You don’t want to settle down.”

  “You’re wrong.”

  Jamie sighs. “Then, tell me what you really want.” She folds her hands in her lap and gives me her full attention, like that is going to make me change my mind about how I feel.

  I open my mouth, but then I close it because I don’t know.

  “Tell me you want to fuck a hot blonde. Tell me you want a threesome. Tell me you want to travel the world and meet every woman you can in every city.”

  “I can’t.”

  She rolls her eyes. “I’m right about this, Sean.”

  Her phone buzzes, and she picks it up to read the text message she got.

  “Is that from Olive?” I ask.

  Jamie starts typing into her phone, responding to the message. “No.”

  I frown and sink back into the couch, wanting to hear any news about what Olive is doing now. How is the baby doing? Did she take Owen back?

  A slow smile creeps up on Jamie’s face. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.”

  “See what?” I ask.

  “That something is going on between you and Olive.”

  I stand up from the couch. “There was something going on.”

  She stands up, studying me, and then she points a finger at me. “Oh my God! You love her.”

  “Yes.”

  “Then, what are you doing here? Go get her.”

  I shake my head. “It’s more complicated than that.”

  “How so?”

  “For one, she’s pregnant with another man’s baby.”

  “So?”

  “Didn’t you just give me some speech about how you and I couldn’t be together because you wanted babies, and I didn’t?”

  “Yes, but Olive is different.”

  “How?”

  “She wants the same things you do.”

  I run my hand through my hair. “You are frustrating, Jamie.”

  Jamie smiles. “I know. Now, get your ass out of my house, and go tell her that you love her.”

  “Five seconds ago, you told me that I should go have a threesome and that I might not even want to get married. Why would you want me to go tell Olive that I love her?”

  “Because you do love her.”

  I feel the steam coming out of my nostrils as I listen to Jamie.

  “Do you love Olive?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then, that is all that matters. If you love her, then nothing else matters.”

  I pace back and forth in her room. Jamie is crazy.

  “Do you still love me?” Jamie asks.

  I stop pacing and look at her. “I love you, of course.”

  “But not like you love Olive,” Jamie finishes for me.

  I nod.

  She grins. “I knew it. Go! Get out of my house!”

  I grab my coat and start walking toward the door. Jamie is right. I don’t know what is going on with Olive. What she is doing or if she is trying to work things out with Owen, but the problem is, I still love her, and I will do anything to stay with her.

  “Where is Olive? Is she still at her apartment?” I ask Jamie.

  Jamie bites her lip.

  “What is it?”

  “She moved out.”

  “What’s her new address?”

  Jamie thinks for a moment. “I can’t tell you.”

  I raise an eyebrow at her. “Why the hell not?”

  “Because it would be a betrayal of my friendship with her. And it’s more romantic this way. It will mean more to Olive if you took the time to find her.”

  “Jamie, just tell me.”

  “No,” she says with a giant smile on her face.

  I sigh. “You are the most frustrating woman in the world.”

  I walk to the door.

  “Where are you going?” Jamie asks.

  “To find Olive and win her back without your help.”

  I hear a cheer from Jamie as I leave.

  She’s right. I love Olive. I want Olive. I have no idea what our future together would look like, but I have to try to find her. Wherever she is. And I know that as much as Jamie wants to help me she won’t disrespect Olive’s wishes. She won’t tell me where Olive is.

  I immediately open my phone and call one of my assistants.

  “Hello Mr. Burrows,” my assistant says.

  “I need your help to find Olive. Call airlines. Call any relatives or friends of Olive’s that you can find. Do anything and everything you can to find her? Do you understand?”

  “Of course Mr. Burrows. I’ll get right on it,” she says.

  “No, get everyone on it. Now.”

  I end the call and then jump into my car and race to Olive’s apartment. Even though Jamie said that Olive moved I have to see for myself.

  It takes me twenty minutes to get to her apartment and the entire time all I can think is please be there. Or please let a neighbor know where she is.

  I pull my car over on the first available spot I can find and jump out to run inside her apartment building. I notice the no parking zone sign as soon jump out of my car but I don’t care. I need to see her as soon as possible. I’ll worry about my car later.

  I run up the stairs and to her apartment. I knock holding my breath that she is going to come to the door. I hear footsteps and my heart races faster. The door opens and woman that is double Olive’s age is standing in the doorway looking at me with annoyance.

  “Yes?” she says.

  I frown. “Is Olive here?” I ask hoping this woman is Olive’s mother or something, but I know without asking that she isn’t. She looks nothing like Olive.

  “There is no Olive here,” she says starting to close the door.

  I grab the door. “She lived here before you. Do you know where she went?”

  She glares at me. “Why the fuck would I know?”

  She slams the door shut this time before I have a chance to stop her.

  I run my hand through my hair. This is getting me nowhere but I have to keep trying.

  I run to the next door and knock furiously, hoping that a neighbor knows where she is. I don’t get an answer so I move to the next door. It opens almost immediately.

  “Do you know where your old neighbor Olive moved to?” I ask.

  The man frowns. “No idea.”

  I run to the next door and I get the same answer.
I’m not going to find any answers here.

  I run down the stairs while I pull out my phone to call my assistant back, hoping that in the last twenty minutes she has found something, anything for me to go on.

  “Hello Mr. Burrows,” she says politely when she answers.

  “Do you have anything yet?” I snap.

  “No sir. I’m sorry. We will keep looking.”

  I end the call and run back to my car. But it is no longer there. Towed most likely.

  I don’t have time to deal with finding it though. I call an Uber and when it arrives I tell him to go to the airport. I should get my private jet ready but I have no idea where to have it go. So it seems silly to spend all of the money and time flying form place to place endlessly until I find her.

  But maybe if I just go to the airport she’ll still be there. Maybe she hasn’t left yet.

  But after searching the airport for half an hour I know she isn’t here. I try calling her but she doesn’t answer her phone.

  I stand in front of the ticket booth trying to figure it out. Where would a woman who has never traveled before go? Where would she go?

  I have no idea.

  I find myself in the ticket line inching closer to the front as I try to figure it out. When I get to the front the lady asks, “How can I help you?”

  I rub my neck. “I’m not sure.”

  She laughs.

  “I’m sorry. I should just go.”

  “Or you could buy a ticket to anywhere. Sometimes going somewhere is better than going nowhere.”

  I nod. “Where do you think I should go?”

  She thinks for a second. “Well Florida is nice this time or year. Same with California. We have cheap flights to Las Vegas and Houston going on right now. I always like NYC.”

  “Wait…What did you just say?”

  “I always like NYC.”

  “No, before that.”

  “We have cheap flights right now to Houston and Vegas.”

  I smile. Vegas.

  My phone buzzes and I see that it is from my assistant. I answer.

  “Yes.”

  “She’s here. In Vegas,” she says.