By Candlelight

by Janelle Taylor

  Grumbling to herself about mutiny and how difficult it was to get good help these days, Kate actually stuck out her tongue at her friend which sent Jillian into gales of laughter. Kate was rescued from further abuse by the arrival of several young men in black silk shirts and slacks whom Kate recognized as actors who were scouting new talent agents. Jillian turned her attention to them, and Kate heaved a sigh, watching through her office window. Their youth made her feel tired. At thirty-six she felt almost ancient in a business where appearance and presentation were everything.

  Ben had been a dinosaur, but he’d had connections.

  If I could bring in one new, really big account, it would convince everyone else that I can handle things, Ben or no Ben.

  April suddenly appeared at Jillian’s desk. The young men looked at her appreciatively. Slim and poised in blue jeans, a silvery blue T-shirt and clunky sandals, April epitomized the carefree loveliness of youth. She wasn’t trendy in oversized and bulky clothes, nor was she wrapped in a skintight sheath. The way she dressed was perfect for the anxious, youthful, talented young people who entered the agency hoping to get a start. It was nonthreatening. No serious statement made about what one should look like. And April’s comfortable ways helped ease tension. The fact that she was a teenager made them relax even more.

  In a word, she was perfect—at least that was her mother’s unbiased opinion.

  Spying Kate, April grinned and waved. Her hair was straight, a couple inches longer than Kate’s, which left it hanging just below her shoulders. Gold highlights, helped along at the salon, shimmered beneath the overhead agency track lights.

  A smile as bright as Hollywood…

  Kate’s throat constricted briefly as she called, “In here, you. We’ve got things to talk about.”

  “Like what?” April asked, flopping into the chair Delilah had perched on so delicately half an hour earlier.

  “School’s right around the corner. Are you sure you can juggle a few hours to work every day?”

  “I have so far,” she pointed out, frowning at Kate.

  “You’re a senior now. One more year and then college. We’ve got to start applying to schools all over.”

  “Mom, I’m okay. I don’t want to leave Oregon.”

  “You’ve got good grades. I’m just asking you to keep your options open.”

  “They’re open, okay?” April half smiled. “But nothing’s going to come along and change my mind. I’m all set, and I like working here. Besides, I need the cash. If you’re going to pay someone, you might as well pay me.”

  “Okay,” Kate murmured, feeling unsettled somehow.

  “What could possibly happen to screw up my future?” April asked innocently.

  Kate’s heart somersaulted painfully. You could fall in love with the wrong man! “What about that Ryan?”

  “‘That Ryan’ is a friend, and he’s going to college, too.” April exhaled a long-suffering sigh. “You know that. You’re just paranoid.”

  “You’re right. I am. Where’s he going to school?”

  “I told you!” she declared in exasperation.

  “Tell me again,” Kate said with a sheepish grin.

  April stared at her and shook her head. “I swear, whenever I talk about Ryan you go deaf! And you know what’s weird? I actually think you like him. But you’re afraid.” She paused, her brows drawing into a line. “What are you afraid of?”

  “I just want you to have a future,” Kate revealed.

  “Mom!” April laughed.

  “I know, I know. You’re right. Everything’s going to be fine,” she agreed without much conviction. “Tell me again, where’s Ryan going to college?”

  “Portland Community, for a start.” April pushed back a swath of hair, a thoughtful gesture that sent Kate’s motherly instincts on alert once again.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Of course I’m sure! He’s not a loser!”

  “I know he’s not a loser. Did I say he was a loser? I just think college is really important, and I don’t want anything to get in the way.”

  April regarded Kate seriously. It was unsettling, really, how little got past her. “I don’t want to bring up a bad subject, but you didn’t go to college,” she reminded her mother softly.

  “A mistake I don’t plan on having my daughter repeat.” With that Kate scooped up a pile of papers and began stacking them with more energy than necessary.

  “Nothing’s going to change my mind,” April reassured her. “You’ve got to get over this paranoia thing before it drives us both crazy!”

  Kate managed a laugh. “Okay. Now, go relieve Jillian. She’s got some appointments to keep.”

  April rose to leave, then stopped at Kate’s door. She hesitated a moment, then said, “I like that scent, Mom. Kinda musky. Kinda sexy.”

  Kate snorted. “The saleslady squirted me with it.” She didn’t add that it had brought back way too many memories.

  “What’s it called?”

  “I don’t know. She got me when I wasn’t looking.”

  “Well, I think you should get some more. It’s time to get out there, you know?”

  Kate groaned. “Not you, too! Go away!” She shooed April from the room, and April grinned at her through the glass.

  Kate shook her head at both April and Jillian. Inside, she felt a bittersweet sadness. They didn’t know. They couldn’t know. But there was no way she could jump into the dating scene and find Mr. Right. He didn’t exist.

  April changed places with Jillian, who signaled Kate that she was going to dial the phone and make a date for them both with Jeff and his friend, Michael. So doing, she waved to Kate before disappearing through the sliding front door.

  “Everybody’s a matchmaker,” Kate muttered aloud.

  Ten minutes later the agency door rattled open again, and a fortyish-year-old man, with a face that showed the weary lines of hard, fast living, walked up to April’s desk and started a conversation. Something about his body movements bothered Kate. He was turned slightly, with dark hair growing down his nape in a thick pelt that seemed oddly familiar. Did she know him? She didn’t think so, yet…

  She stepped into the outer room, just to be a presence. He glanced up, and she swept in a shocked breath. Déjà vu gripped her again. He reminded her of Jake!

  With his gaze centered on her, Kate was hit by a cascade of feelings. So much like Jake, but not Jake. He seemed too old, too relaxed, too…derelict.

  “Mom, this is Mr. Talbot of Talbot Industries,” April introduced.

  Kate gasped in shock. “Oh, yes?” she said faintly. Mr. Talbot?

  “Uh…yeah,” she went on, her brows drawing together at Kate’s strange reaction. “They’re looking for a spokeswoman to promote their new office buildings and well…” She broke off in consternation as Kate squeaked out a protest. “Are you okay?”

  Kate trembled. Talbot Industries…Jake’s family’s business …then who? Oh, God! Jake’s brother!

  “I’m Phillip Talbot,” the man greeted her, extending a hand, just as Kate’s brain made the connection.

  “Junior,” she breathed before she could stop herself. Of course. Jake’s older brother. The black sheep. The one whom she had never met because the Talbot family had closed ranks against her before she had ever had a chance.

  His brows shot up. “Well, that’s right,” he said in amazement. “You know my family?”

  “I’ve—heard of them,” Kate murmured. The room reeled. This wasn’t happening!

  “Mom?” April said from what felt was somewhere far, far away.

  Kate turned to her, feeling oddly detached from her body. It had been a day for thinking about Jake, and now this! Phillip Talbot, Jr. How strange!

  With an effort she pulled herself together. There was absolutely no need to be upset. None at all.

  “What can we help you with?” she asked him in a voice that sounded almost normal.

  “Mom!” April broke in. “Mr. Talbot wants me
to be the spokesperson for their company! Isn’t that just incredible. Me! What do you think?”

  Chapter Two

  “What?” Kate stared at April in shock.

  “Well, I’d like her to audition,” Phillip Talbot, Jr., responded. “My brother makes all final decisions.”

  “Your brother?” Kate asked faintly.

  “Jake’s the man in charge,” he explained with a touch of derision. “He only gave me this job because he can’t be bothered, but don’t worry. Unless I bring home a real dog, he’ll agree.”

  “Do you mind if I sit down?” Kate asked. “It’s been a long day.”

  She practically collapsed in one of the client chairs. April peered at her.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “You’re really pale,” she said, concerned.

  “I’m okay.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “April isn’t—one of the talent here,” Kate tried to put in.

  “Mom!”

  “Well, you’re not. You’re the part-time receptionist and you’re only seventeen!”

  April’s mouth dropped open in surprise at her mother’s attitude. “Well, I know, but does that mean I can’t try out?”

  Kate knew she was overreacting, but she couldn’t help herself. “You’ve never shown any interest in modeling before.”

  “No…but hey…” She shrugged apologetically at Phillip.

  “She can try out, can’t she?” he pointed out reasonably. “What would it hurt?”

  Kate just gazed at him blankly. His eyes weren’t as blue as Jake’s, and his hair wasn’t quite as dark. But that smile lurked in there somewhere. April’s smile.

  She swallowed hard. This was not happening.

  “Mom?” April asked, pleading.

  Kate didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t ready for this twist of fate. She just felt so out of control. “I—whatever you want, I guess…”

  April jumped up and hugged her, then shook Phillip’s hand, hard. “Thanks. I’d love to try out. Should I just come by the main office Tuesday, then?”

  “Yeah, show up about ten.” He glanced at Kate. “And send some other models along, too. Ones that look kind of like her. Like I said, my brother will make final approval.”

  Kate apparently managed to make appropriate noises because after he left April jumped into her arms in excitement. “This is so great!”

  “I never knew you were interested.”

  “Well, if it just falls in your lap. I mean, c’mon, Mom! This is too cool!”

  “What about school?”

  “It’s August!”

  “But these shoots are weeks out sometimes. You could miss some classes.”

  “Mom!” April looked at her as if she had gone crazy, which perhaps, in these last few minutes, she had. “I can miss a class or two. This is work experience. I can make it up, and I’ll get paid. A ton!”

  “Oh, April…” Kate buried her face in her hands, annoyed to find she was quivering.

  “What is it?”

  “Nothing. I’m just—tired.”

  Two hours later Kate left the office. April, who drove Ben’s car these days, a late model sedan that was the farthest from “cool” as it could be, would close up the agency and join her at Geno’s, the tiny Italian restaurant near their house.

  As Kate wheeled into Geno’s parking lot, she sighed deeply, weariness creeping in like a silent invader. What she wouldn’t do for some peace of mind. Since Ben’s death it felt as if she were trying to keep too many balls in the air at once.

  With determination to put her worries aside, Kate gratefully settled into a chair on Geno’s back patio. Glancing around, she let the beauty of the outdoor dining area replace her anxieties. Geno’s was one of her favorite spots. Square, taupe tiles and spouting fountains made the place seem like an outdoor Italian cafe—exactly as they were meant to. Kate ordered a glass of Chianti and sipped the rich, red wine while waiters hovered over glass-topped tables spread with white linen. The sun still beat down through a wrought-iron gate at the edge of the patio that looked over a tangled garden. More fountains lay behind its black, filigreed wall. The place was pleasant and close to the house she and Ben had shared in southwest Portland.

  It was Ben’s favorite restaurant. It was Ben’s house. Kate had adopted everything, easily now; it had been much more difficult in the beginning while she was still a teenager and her husband was already in his fifties.

  Closing her eyes, she inhaled another breath and held it. There were roses in the garden, but closer was the scent of vanilla from the candles on the tables, whose tiny flames flickered in a soft breeze.

  Inexplicably, Kate wanted to cry. She felt the sensation rush through her and the faintest dampening of her lashes before she could get herself under control. Embarrassed, she blinked several times and buried her nose in the menu.

  Meeting Phillip Talbot, Jr., had jangled her nerves. Thrown her world out of orbit. She was spiraling to some unknown and unwelcome fate. With a concentrated effort she pushed thoughts of him aside, but traitorous memories of Jake popped up in their place.

  They had made love the first time in his car. Silly, awkward and crazy, giggling all the way. Kate hadn’t known what to expect, and there was so much to feel and sense that she couldn’t have recounted the experience later if her life had depended on it.

  But that had only been the start.

  For the next two months, while graduation set the wheels in motion for their futures, Kate and Jake slipped away at every opportunity to make frenzied love and vow anew how much they loved each other, how they would always be together. Always.

  Their second attempt at lovemaking was at his house, in the guest cottage at the edge of the property. Quiet as church mice they crept into the one-room bungalow, spread out a sleeping bag and explored each others’ bodies tenderly and thoroughly.

  But it was on a weekend trip to the beach that Kate really learned the true joys of making love. Jake sneaked the key to his parents’ oceanfront home. He lied to them, telling them he was going with Phillip fishing off the coast of Washington. Because Phillip showed no interest in anything besides wild women and drink, Jake’s parents were delighted with the arrangement. They never questioned whether he was telling them the truth or not. Jake had never lied before, to their knowledge, so it stood to reason he wasn’t lying this time.

  But to be with Kate, Jake would do more than just tell a few fibs. So, on this day, they took off in his convertible, top down, hair flying in the wind, to make the two-hour trip to the coast.

  A watery sun guided them through a coolish May day, casting shadows from the lines of firs that were silent sentinels nearly the entire route. Kate’s teeth chattered; Oregon’s springs were nearly glacial sometimes. But she didn’t care. With brown-blond silken strands whipping around her face, and Jake’s hand lying protectively on her knee, she knew an exhilaration and excitement she had never known before.

  “I love you,” she said.

  “I love you more,” he answered with a sideways grin.

  The Talbot’s beach home was a two-story cottage done in dark gray, naturally weathered shingles and trimmed with gingerbread in a lighter, almost silver, shade. It faced Seaside’s prom, looking across the sidewalk that rimmed this part of the beach to a restless, white-capped ocean. Waves roiled in the distance, then pushed angrily forward to skim quickly across the silent sand. Kate watched this beauty of nature with Jake’s arms surrounding her, her head resting against his shoulder, her hands tucked inside his jacket pockets. He smelled of musk until his scent was snatched away by the harsh breeze that hit them both in irregular intervals. When that happened, they inhaled saltsea tang that cleared their senses.

  It was as if they were both afraid to enter the Talbot house. They were cautious trespassers, but it was more than that. They hadn’t been able to race off to a Portland motel for a honeymoon like they had planned the night of their “wedding.” J
ake had been caught sneaking out, and they had been forced to rearrange their schedule. Here, then, was a house with real beds and blankets and pillows—a place for serious lovemaking. Kate found it all a bit overwhelming. Lovemaking in Jake’s car after their vows had been a sweet, fun consummation, but she hadn’t expected bells to ring, so to speak. The night on the floor of the guest house had been another stolen, secret intimacy. This, then, would be like a honeymoon, and Kate couldn’t help worrying that she would be lacking somehow, that Jake would realize he had made a mistake and simply leave her when it was over.

  Oh, if only their marriage could be for real!

  Patience, she told herself, snuggling inside his jacket lapels and hiding her face from the wind. She knew he would marry her as soon as he could; they had vowed as much to each other.

  “Let’s go inside,” Jake suggested on a soft murmur, leaving Kate to wonder if he was feeling a little of what she was.

  The cottage was cold. Kate rubbed her arms briskly as Jake, instead of turning up the thermostat, stacked an oak log on the fire followed by chunks of fir.

  “Dad’s big into fires at the beach,” he explained, crushing old newspapers and shoving them around the pieces of wood. “We never use the heat unless we absolutely have to.”

  “I like it,” Kate said, settling on an overstuffed red plush couch. The place was furnished Victorian, with ornately carved furniture upholstered in blood red velveteen. The windows were draped in heavy green velvet, and gold tassels sparkled everywhere. Dark wood paneling made the walls feel close, and a silk-draped chandelier, shimmering with tassels, hung overhead.

  Catching her look, Jake glanced around. “This place was originally built at the turn of the century. It’s gone through a bunch of changes, but Mom wanted to add some glamour.” He shrugged. “I’d rather have a lodge cabin with stone and wood.”

  “Maybe a large fish mounted above the mantel,” Kate said with a smile.

  “Yeah! And a bear rug right here.” He kicked aside the doilylike hooked rug and spread his arms wide. His gaze met hers. Messages passed. Kate’s blood heated in spite of herself, and she couldn’t help glancing away, her cheeks burning.