By Candlelight

by Janelle Taylor

  Distantly, she realized a bell was ringing. Jake’s telephone. No, she thought selfishly when he stirred to answer it. Her eyes feasted on him as he dragged himself to his feet, gazing down at her in unfettered male splendor.

  “Don’t get it,” she whispered, throwing out an arm to drag him back.

  “I have to.”

  “Hurry back,” she urged.

  She had no idea how ravishing she looked, her hair fanned out wantonly against the pillow, her slim, toned body open for the taking. Jake leaned down and kissed her on the mouth, then headed downstairs to catch the call.

  Moments later she heard his tread on the stair. He entered the room, still gorgeously naked.

  “It’s your daughter,” he said solemnly. “She wants to talk to you…”

  Chapter Twelve

  Kate dragged Jake’s shirt tightly around her, clamping the unbuttoned sides together with one arm. “I—um—don’t know…,” she muttered to April, the receiver cradled between her ear and shoulder. Upstairs she could hear Jake moving around, dressing probably.

  “It’ll just be overnight,” April went on eagerly. “A bunch of kids are going; and Brad’s mom and dad are chaperoning, and they’re serious campers. I’ve already told Jillian all about it, and she thinks it would be okay.”

  “She does?” Kate was distracted.

  “Oh, yeah! It’ll be fun!”

  “You said Ryan’s going, too?”

  “Mom, don’t go into overdrive. Nothing’s going to happen. There’s a whole group of us. Please say yes. Please, please, please!”

  Kate was too shattered by her own recent experience to think clearly. “Uh…”

  “Please!”

  “Let me talk to Jillian.”

  April quickly put Jillian on the phone, but when the conversation was over Kate could scarcely remember a single word. Yes, Jillian believed it would be fine for April to go on the camping trip; that much Kate recalled. The words themselves receded to a dull hum, however, while every squeak and groan from the floor above her head was recorded in her mind as if on tape.

  What is he doing?

  “Well?” April demanded, snatching the receiver back from Jillian.

  “I suppose it sounds all right.” Were those footsteps on the stairs? Good Lord, was he coming to the kitchen? She felt next to naked in the scant protection of his shirt. Why hadn’t she taken the time to get dressed?

  You slept with him!

  “Oh, Mom. Thanks a ton! I love you so much!” April cried jubilantly.

  “I love you more,” Kate answered automatically, just as Jake stepped into the doorway. He froze at the sound of her words, and Kate wondered wildly what had possessed her to repeat that phrase at that moment! It wasn’t as if she and April played that word game; they never had. Undoubtedly, it was provoked by her intimacy with Jake, and now he was staring at her as if he couldn’t bear to hear that particular phrase of endearment again.

  “Hi,” Kate murmured, swallowing hard as she hung up the phone. “April wanted to go on a camping trip with some friends.”

  “You let her?” Jake asked absently, his thoughts obviously far removed from the issue as well.

  “It’s chaperoned.”

  “You have a pretty close relationship with your daughter,” he observed.

  I love you more…

  Kate nodded.

  Jake eyed her body language, the arms tightly wrapped around her waist, her averted profile, the tension that emanated from her in waves. The glory of their lovemaking had been replaced by the realities of the outside world. He wished fervently that they’d had a bit more time to adjust.

  “Kate—”

  “Jake—”

  They spoke together, in a rush. Jake pointed at her to go first. Clearing her throat, she said, “I don’t want to act like a scared rabbit, but I think I’d better head home tonight.”

  “What?”

  “I can drive with this ankle,” she said, anticipating his first objection. “It’s just a throb, and it’s wrapped well enough to be as comfortable as possible.”

  “You just said your daughter’s going on a camping trip. She won’t be there.”

  “That’s not why I’m heading home,” she said in a low voice, bending her head a bit.

  “I know why you want to leave,” he stated flatly.

  “Jake…”

  “You lied to me.”

  Kate lifted her gaze in affront, her amber eyes wide. Jake’s attention shifted to her sweetly familiar face with its pert nose and unfairly sensual, pink lips. He felt crazy and possessive and anxious to make love to her again!

  “I didn’t lie to you!”

  “No second thoughts?” he reminded her sternly.

  “I’m not having second thoughts!” she declared heatedly. A moment later she added more truthfully, “I’m way past that. I’m on to third and fourth thoughts.”

  “Oh, Katie, don’t leave now. The sun’s about to set. You don’t want to drive at night, and I don’t want you to go.”

  His passionate demands worked on her senses. “Jake…,” she murmured uncertainly, turning her back to him.

  He couldn’t stand it. He wrapped his arms around her and fitted his body tightly against hers, reveling in the feel of soft, feminine curves and the scent of lavender in her hair. “Come out on the porch and we’ll sit in chairs and drink tea or coffee or brandy or whatever. We’ve got another night. I don’t want to waste it.”

  His voice throbbed with persuasion, sending off an answering beat in her bloodstream. Kate lolled her head against his shoulder, her emotions raw. What she wanted from him she couldn’t name; she was afraid to. But when he tugged her hand it wasn’t to find the porch; it was toward the stairs. She gazed at him and silently shook her head. His gaze darkened, clinging to the lush beauty of her exposed legs and her breasts which peeked through the open throat of his shirt.

  Because she couldn’t help it, Kate stifled all the clamoring doubt ringing in the back of her head and let his will prevail. When they got upstairs together their hands worked quickly to divest each other of all garments; then they tumbled into bed as one, pushing the real world aside until the morning light.

  Jake ran on the beach until his lungs burned and his body was soaked in sweat. Morning sunshine drifted over the cool gray beach. Far down the prom toward the turnaround a few brave souls were up this early as well, one even daring to bring a kite.

  Bending over, Jake gulped air, propping his hands on his knees. His chest heaved. He had a long way to go still, but he was anxious to get back to Kate.

  Straightening upward, he shook his head, raking his hands through dark, wet hair. He had left her cuddled in bed, her own blondish hair fanned out around her on the pillow, her face clean and devoid of makeup, her prudish pajamas lying in a forgotten heap on the floor. He had possessed her so thoroughly all night long he was torn between embarrassment and pride. It wasn’t his way to lose control. He had been half-afraid she would leap up and cry, “Enough!” then disappear from his life forever.

  But Kate had seemed to want him as much as he had wanted her. Languidly, her golden eyes half-closed, her arms reaching for him, she had invited him to her again and again, accepting his physical needs eagerly, and satisfying a few of her own. Even now, recalling her little sighs of pleasure and pleading moans, Jake determined he was just as anxious to be with her again as he had been last night!

  With an effort he pushed his heated thoughts aside for the moment. He could feel his sweat drying on his skin, cold from the ocean breeze which buffeted briskly from the west. Dropping to the sand, he managed forty pushups before he leapt back to his feet, running in place to keep his muscles hot.

  He felt great. No, fabulous! The urge to throw back his head and howl at the heavens was so strong he had to clamp his lips together.

  He and Kate were made for each other.

  Jogging back toward the house, Jake ignored the little voice inside his head that reminded him h
ow little he knew about her. Okay, there was high school, but lifetimes had been lived in between. Kate was a mature woman with a high-school-age daughter of her own, and a long-term marriage behind her. She was new to dating since her husband died. A neophyte. That was attractive about her, too, Jake had to admit, though he sounded like a neanderthal. In this day and age when men and women alike were supposed to be free to discover whom they loved however they chose to discover it, he still wanted someone fresh and untouched. Unfair, especially since he hadn’t been exactly circumspect in his dealings with the opposite sex. For that reason, Kate shouldn’t have to, either.

  But Kate’s relative inexperience was an aphrodisiac to Jake. He could admit it. Sandra Galloway’s “around the block” attitude, be it in love or business or life in general, was a turn off. Sandra was so forward and confident and used to running the show that the softness and sensuality Jake had found in Kate were missing altogether.

  Grimacing, Jake reminded himself that he had been perfectly satisfied with Sandra before—or at least he had told himself as much. But he wasn’t satisfied now, and even if Katie decided to walk out of his life tomorrow, he knew he couldn’t go back to Sandra the same way.

  Thinking of Kate made him anxious. Picking up the pace, he ran at full sprint through the heavy sand until he reached the prom in front of his house. He jumped the low, wrought-iron gate and took the porch steps two at a time, slamming into the house like a hurricane.

  “Whoa!” Kate cried, shrinking against the wall to the kitchen, his startling entry taking her by surprise.

  “Sorry!” He cleared his throat. His blood thundered in his ears. “I just decided to race back.”

  “I guess,” she murmured.

  He sensed instantly that something had changed. The blistering heat of the night before had been replaced by an arctic chill. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “No, I’m fine.”

  Kate wore jeans and a bulky, cream-colored sweater against the morning’s chill. Her feet were bare, however, one wrapped in its stretch bandage. Her hair was pulled into a loose ponytail, making her look closer to a high school kid herself than the mother of one.

  “I should have asked you to go with me, but you were sleeping so soundly.”

  She gave him a look that could have meant anything. Unable to stand the sudden distance between them, Jake crossed the room, reaching a hand forward to caress her cheek. “I’d hug you, but I’m covered in sweat. Oh, hell…” He did it anyway, relieved when Kate squealed in mock horror, her laughter making it seem that everything was all right again.

  “I wasn’t sure where you were,” she admitted in a muffled voice against his sweatshirt.

  “You thought I left you?” he asked, appalled. “Are you kidding? After last night?” She blushed, turning away from him to hide her expression. Jake placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her right back around. “If I stayed another minute I would have been all over you again! I didn’t want you to think I was a sex-crazed maniac—even though I am,” he amended, “at least when it comes to you.”

  “I’m not—normally so—” Kate couldn’t come up with the words.

  “Eager?” he suggested.

  “I mean, I was married and we…I can’t believe myself!” Her hands flew to her cheeks, and fresh color pinkened her flesh.

  Jake grinned. “It was great, huh?”

  “Oh, Jake. I feel like I’m living somebody else’s life. This isn’t me, Kate Rose. I’ve got responsibilities and a certain reputation.”

  “Reputation?” he interrupted. “Lady, stop worrying. Nobody’s going to know about this. It’s between you and me. Period.”

  “In some ways, Portland can be small community,” she went on doggedly. “I’m just not used to this, and I’d die if I thought…”

  “If you thought…?”

  “I’m just not comfortable with the idea that people might know I’ve been with you, that’s all.” She turned from him and walked through the kitchen to the back door and out onto the deck, arms crossed tightly around her waist, her back to Jake.

  Her innocence endeared her to him all the more. He knew so many women who weren’t shy in the least. Many bragged about their conquests. Jake didn’t enjoy that characteristic in either a man or a woman. Katie’s very fear for her reputation just resolved him to protect her and keep her all the more.

  “Your secret’s safe with me,” he said, following her out to the deck. “Just don’t tell me you want to quit right now. I don’t think I could.”

  She bent her head. Golden-tinged strands fluttered in the breeze. “You probably think I’m being ridiculous.”

  “I think you’re being smart.”

  “Really?” She half turned, her face in profile.

  “Don’t feel bad about last night,” he whispered to her, wanting her to revel in this exciting new development as much as he was.

  “I know this isn’t the time, Jake, but I meant what I said before.”

  “About what?”

  “I can’t be a sometime lover.”

  Her face so near to his was a distraction he could scarcely cope with. She had turned him into a randy teenager, and it was pure hell to try and act like an adult. “So, what do you want?” He would give her anything, anything at all!

  “I don’t know!” she burst out unhappily.

  “Then let’s take it one step at a time.”

  “But…the other women…that you know. I really don’t want…I just couldn’t cope…with that.” She inhaled deeply and let out her breath, as if she had just come to a monumental decision. “I’m sorry.”

  “There are no other women in my life. Not since you entered it,” he stated firmly. He turned her toward him, brushing thick blondish tresses away from her face. Her eyes regarded him solemnly. “You’re all I want.”

  His words turned her to butter. She believed him, heart and soul, yet she knew she should hesitate, take her time. But lovemaking had scorched her soul and turned her into a hopeless, love-craving mass of jelly! For all her words, she couldn’t have walked away now if she had been forced to.

  “You’re all I want,” she admitted right back, her voice small and thready.

  Jake swept her close, then dragged her upstairs to the shower, stripping off her clothes along with his own. They made love again beneath the biting hot needles of water, and when they were done, Jake dragged her back to bed to spend a luxurious, hedonistic morning touching and discovering and murmuring sounds of pleasure.

  It was only later that she realized neither of them had once spoken of love. Of course it was too soon; she was no fool. Yet, she loved him. She always, always had. She hated herself a little for being so easy, so sappy, but it was the plain and honest truth—a truth she had hidden even from herself.

  And if Jake had murmured words of love, she would have shouted back the same to him. Yet again, would she have believed those words if he had uttered them so soon? Wasn’t it better to hope that a natural declaration would come in time? When their love had grown and become indispensable to both of them?

  But what if that day never comes?

  That, Kate couldn’t think about, and as their day of physical pleasure waxed on, she decided she wouldn’t be able to think about it for a long, long time to come.

  It was evening as they stood by her Mustang, kissing their goodbyes. “Here I worried about April taking off on this camping trip, and look at me!” Kate muttered, shaking her head.

  “You’re an adult. You can make those choices.” He shrugged. “When you’re a kid, most of the time you make the wrong choices, so that’s why you need to protect her.”

  She had certainly made the wrong choices as a kid. April was living proof of her most shattering error, though she would never change having her for anything.

  “See you back in Portland,” Jake said, closing her door for her and waving goodbye.

  Kate smil
ed uncertainly and backed the car down the driveway. Her ankle felt tight but comfortable enough. Her heart, however, seemed to fibrillate with anxiety.

  She sensed, though she would do nothing to stop it, that she was headed for serious, soul-destroying trouble.

  All hell broke loose on Monday. The office was a madhouse, and though Jillian attempted to keep everything under control, Kate had to help her with the phone calls. The good news was the business appeared to be on an upswing; the bad news was Delilah started making demands.

  “You know we can’t advance payment,” Kate explained patiently. “If we did, we could be left holding the bag.”

  “Well, what do I pay you for, then?” Delilah asked haughtily.

  “For getting you the auditions and singing your praises and keeping you working!” Kate retorted, bugged. Delilah would have never pulled this with Ben. She knew the nature of the talent agency as well as anyone, better than most, really.

  “I’m moving to L.A.,” was Delilah’s next declaration.

  “Well, then, I wish you the best.” Kate held out her hand for Delilah to shake. It wasn’t unheard of for talent to take off for the bright lights; it was a natural step. Whenever it happened, Kate truly wished them well. Never mind that ninety percent returned within six months, disheartened and disappointed. Once in a while someone actually succeeded.

  Delilah stared at Kate’s outstretched hand as if she didn’t know what it was for. She managed a limp handshake. While Kate smiled a goodbye, she left as if in a trance.

  As soon as she was gone, Kate heaved a sigh and collapsed in her chair. “Baby-sitting,” Jillian had called it. Just another part of the business.

  At lunchtime Kate slid a glance to her phone, her thoughts on Jake. He had been in the back of her mind all morning, and for some dumb reason she had expected him to call. When she had left Seaside they had made no direct plans or rules about what came next. Truthfully, in the harsh light of this morning, she wondered if she had dreamt it all! She had been unable to sleep all night, the night before, and consequently she now suffered a faint headache.