Love You Anyways

by Mj Fields

  “Nice Ava, I’m not ten anymore.” He rolls his eyes.

  “Well then who could have brought all of these gifts?” I decide to play along with Ava’s loving teasing directed at my boy.

  “Dad,” Logan yawned.

  “And Santa,” I laughed.

  “And Mom.” Ava looked around, “Where is she?”

  “Probably fucking sleeping…”

  “Logan, your language,” I warn. “I’ll go see if she’s up yet. Don’t even look in your stockings until I get back.”

  I gave them a big smile as I turned away. Bitch! Could she not participate? It’s our sons last Christmas in high school and she plays sleeping fucking beauty while I stick up for her! I look at the stairs and feel like I am walking away from the sun, which is my children, to the bowels of hell to awake the she-demon.

  As I push the door to our room open, I see her sitting on the bed. Her back is to me. I see her shoulders slouched down. I see her body shake a bit and I am sure she is crying, again.

  For a moment I am feeling guilty about the anger that is now simmering. This has to hurt her as much as it does me. How could anyone want their children to face the slaughter of their family unit?

  I knew the darkness I crawled into when I was a cheater. The self-loathing that I numbed with booze, pot, and pussy. I had no one but a girl whose heart I broke to feel horrible about. She was breaking three hearts. Two of them were grown from her body.

  Then she giggled, the bitch giggled and whispered, “I have to go. Its Christmas…I know someday, maybe...I love you too. I’ll see you in three weeks…Yes the entire weekend…”

  I knocked on the door and she jumped. She dropped her phone and spun around, “Lucas?”

  I smiled and acted as if I hadn’t heard anything. “Merry Christmas Ash.”

  I walked over to the bed and leaned down and kissed her.

  “Lucas, the phone.”

  I reached down and saw it was still a live call.

  “Dad and Audrey?”

  She nodded. Fucking Liar.

  “We have two little angels down there waiting to open gifts.” She tried to stand and I put my hands on the bed keeping her in place. “Ash I have a special present for you first.” I kissed the cheek of Empusa and she pulled back.

  “Lucas they’re waiting.”

  “I know. Let them, give me five minutes.” I grabbed a tit and she closed her eyes. “Your little tits Ash.” I rubbed my thumb across Hantu Kopek’s nipple, “They fed our children and me.”

  “Lucas,” she moaned.

  “I also miss that round ass Ash.” I pushed her back and rolled her over.

  I reached under her panties and pushed a finger in her cunt and she moaned so I shoved another in her.

  “Your pussy is so wet.” She pushed against it. “That’s it, ride it Ashley Links. Tell me what you want?” I asked as I finger banged her into oblivion.

  “Your cock.”

  “Where Ash? Where do you want it?”

  “My pussy.”

  “You can do better than that, it’s Christmas.”

  “Fuck my ass Lucas.”

  I reached over the side of the bed and opened the nightstand and pulled out the KY and a condom. No fucking way was I riding Lilith without protection.

  I smiled when I saw the phone call was still active. I grabbed it and pushed speaker and set it on the night stand. Fuck you Senator!

  “Gotta make this fast. Kids are waiting.”

  It was wrong on so many levels but I didn’t give a fuck. I was hard and in some perverse way was harder than ever before because I was gonna get off fucking my wife while her lover listened. No one ever said I was perfect, not even me. But that fucker would hear what only I could do with Miss Priss. Fuck her hard and nasty.

  I ripped open the condom and squirted lube on her plump ass.

  “I’m going all in Ash, hard and fast.” I said as I wrapped my dick in latex. Yeah I was about to bang my wife and had to use condoms because she was a cheating ho.

  “You can’t! You’re too big Lucas.”

  I had to bite my cheeks so that I wouldn’t laugh. Yeah take that Senator, I have a big dick.

  “We’ll do what we can. You want this don’t you Ash? You want my big cock in your ass right?”

  “Yes Lucas, I love your cock.”

  “Up on all fours. I’m gonna fuck you from the back. Then when I’m done you’re gonna swallow my cum.” I rammed half way in her and she yelled out. “That’s it Ash, half way there. Now for the good part.”

  I was gentle now. I wanted our audience to hear his lover cum on another man’s dick. Her husband’s dick. “Good Ash?”

  “God yes. You fuck my ass so good.”

  That’s it Ash keep talking. Bitch.

  I moved in and out with ease. Her ass was well trained and used before I found out she was a cheater.

  She moaned and whimpered and came. Yeah she was a bit loud.

  “Okay my turn. Turn around and suck my cock dry Mrs. Links.”

  I pulled out and she turned as I removed the condom.

  I hid it behind me. And then shoved my dick in the mouth of Lilim and filled it till it was dripping down her chin.

  “Thanks for that Ash.”

  I stood up and turned, grabbed the phone, still a live call, and pushed end.

  I reached down and grabbed my pajama pants and discreetly put the phone back where it had fallen when I busted my cheating bitch of a wife talking to her lover, on Christmas.

  ~

  When the kids went to bed so did I. I didn’t wanna even look at the bitch I had been smiling at all day. It was only ten o’clock so I knew I would be up at three in the damn morning, but that was cool.

  I woke to Succubus sucking me off about an hour after I had fallen asleep. The first time in years she had done that. She looked up at me with a mouth full of cock and there was something different in her eyes.

  I fucked her mouth much gentler than I had earlier. The attention she was paying to every part of my dick was more than ever before.

  I smiled at her and then I felt the tell-tale sign of all the blood rushing down to my cock. “Ash I’m gonna...”

  She stopped and sat up. The look in her eyes I had mistaken for a possible spark of hope was really Yuki-Onna, the she-devil denying me of a release.

  “You can finish it up yourself.”

  “Really?” I laughed.

  “I don’t appreciate you toying with me Lucas.”

  “I don’t appreciate you lying to me Wife.”

  “I won’t live like this.”

  “You walk when he has five months left of his senior year and I will not have one ounce of respect for you.”

  “Who says I’m walking? I will be still living right here.”

  “You can have the Jersey house Ash. That’s where you run to every other fucking week anyways. That’s where your family is and…”

  “I will take this house. I will take from you what you love.”

  I pulled her up so she was facing me. “Let me tell you something. You will play real nice or I will share four years of pictures that I have of my wife’s infidelities with the media. Your little boyfriend has higher hopes than State Senate, and you’ll be single handedly crushing them. I have no problem going on talk shows and doing interviews about how crushed I am about it.”

  “The world will think you’re a pussy Lucas.”

  “No Ash, cause when I’m done here, I have years’ worth of missed pussy to make up for cause I was dumb enough to believe in this marriage shit.”

  I let go of her arms and laid down rolling to my side so that my back was to her. Bitch!

  “I agree Lucas. I was never yours to begin with.”

  “Whatever excuses you need to give yourself go right ahead. But you will play nice when it comes to our kids or I will make you pay. They are my only priority now.”

  ~

  I woke up when I heard my phone vibrate. I saw a text message


  -911 call me back now…JB

  I rubbed my eyes and read it again. What the hell was going on? Jade would never send a message at three in the morning if it wasn’t a real emergency.

  I snuck out of my bed and walked down the stairs to my office and sat at my desk and called Jade.

  “What’s going on Jade? Is Luke alright?”

  “Lucas…Collin was shot.” That was the only thing she said that I understood.

  “Links.” Her husband Ryan, my best friend, was on the phone.

  “What the hell happened?”

  Ryan told me the details and I was shocked. I couldn’t believe what the hell I was hearing.

  After a long pause as I listened to him comforting his wife I cleared my throat, “Are Tessa and the kids alright?”

  “Physically, yes. CJ was the one who called and told Jade. He’s pretty shaken up but he said his father died and that his brother, sister, and Tessa were okay. We should know more tomorrow.”

  I heard a blood curdling scream followed by, “Daddy!”

  “Ryan we’ll talk tomorrow. I think Ava just found out.”

  I ran up the stairs to Ava’s room and she was throwing clothes into a suitcase.

  “Daddy! Collin is dead and Harper, oh God Harper, was taken and he tried to save her and now he’s dead and…”

  I grabbed her and held her as she sobbed. “Harper, CJ, Matthew, and Tessa are fine. I just talked to Ryan and him…”

  “What is going on?” I looked up and both Logan and Ashley were walking in Ava’s room.

  “Collin was killed.”

  Ashley’s first reaction will haunt me for the rest of my life. She looked at me as if she had no soul. She was pissed and the smug look on her face made me want to hit her. I looked at Logan and he was studying her face and he too looked confused as to her reaction.

  “You okay Mom?”

  Ashley nodded and swallowed. She hugged Logan and stared coldly at me over his shoulder.

  Chapter 2

  Memories

  Ava was awake when I walked down the stairs. “I need to see Harper.”

  I gave her a hug. She looked like she hadn’t slept at all. “Okay. When they get home I’m sure she’d love to see you.”

  “Mom wants me to go to Jersey.”

  Ashley and Logan walked down the stairs and I noticed they both had overnight bags.

  “You going somewhere?”

  “To visit my sister.”

  “Logan, you want to stay here or go with Mom?”

  “The kids are going with me. I know you’re busy with work or I would’ve asked you to come along.”

  “I don’t want to go Mom. I want to be here when Harper comes home.”

  “Logan you can stay too.” I told him.

  “Nah, I’ll go with Mom.”

  I gave him a hug as he walked by. “Thought we were hitting the gym during your break. Lifting weights, keeping in top physical shape. You have colleges interested and…”

  “Leave him alone Lucas he’s on vacation,” Ashley laughed. “Ava you sure you won’t come?”

  “I’m sure. She’s my best friend Mom. I thought you’d want to be here for Tessa.” Ava was fighting anger. I could see the storm brewing behind her baby blues.

  “I’m sure her family will all be there to help her. We won’t be gone long. I’ll see her then.” Ashley didn’t wait for a response, “Let’s go Logan, you can drive.”

  “The roads are shit Ash, you should be driving. I should be driving.” I wasn’t liking this one fucking bit.

  “He’s almost eighteen Lucas. How old were you when you were driving to New Jersey alone? I’ll be with him.” Ashley gave Ava a quick hug and out the door she went.

  Ava looked at me. “What’s going on Daddy?”

  “Apparently she misses her family.” And your mother has been fucking around for years now, I wanted to say, but I didn’t. “Do you know when they’re supposed to be in?”

  “No.” Ava flopped on the couch and grabbed a pillow.

  I hated seeing her like this. Hated seeing her struggle and I couldn’t do anything about it. “You want breakfast baby girl?”

  “No Daddy I just want to cry.”

  I sat next to her and held her hand. “Then cry.”

  She took my arm and put it over her shoulder and snuggled into me like she did when she was a little girl. Hell, she was still my little girl.

  She fell asleep and I decided I was going to go dig through some boxes in the basement. I looked at the shelves that held our memories in plastic totes. I decided I may as well start going through them. If Ash thought she was taking the house I built for my family I would be damn sure to keep some of the memories.

  The first box I grabbed off the top shelf, sat it on the floor, and grabbed the other five. Our life, on shelf at a time. I couldn’t believe this shit was happening.

  I opened the first tote and it was full of wedding memorabilia. You know all that shit girls have to have. The champagne glasses with your names in pretty script and hearts. I stood up and grabbed a garbage bag off my work bench and threw those bitches in there. Next I grabbed a bag of potpourri wrapped in tulle and ribbons, “Fucking lame.” I threw them in the trash too. Invitations, rehearsal dinner programs, wedding programs, and flyers from the Dominican Republic where we went on our honeymoon. A binder for planning every event of our big fucking day.

  I threw out every piece of shit memorabilia she had kept except for the document we had signed, a fake license, one for the bazillion photos that were taken that day. I wanted to super glue that bitch on her forehead. So when she looked in the mirror she saw it and so the senator saw it while he was banging my wife.

  The only thing I kept was the photo album and the case of wine without labels on them. The photo album because, let’s face it, I looked fucking good and the wine because I was gonna get fucking ripped the day I signed those papers.

  I shoved them in the tote and grabbed the bag of lies and walked up the stairs and out the garage door. I threw it in the garbage and walked back inside. I looked into the family room and saw my little girl was still asleep.

  I walked back down the stairs and looked at the shelf. I was on a mission, one that I was distracted from by the bag of lies. I looked at the shelf and decided I should organize them so I went to find a sharpie.

  After emptying the second shelf I found what I was looking for. Bingo! I pulled out the pink blanket and held it to my face and smelled it. This blanket was Bingo. Ava had to have it from the time she was about one. This was the only blanket out of the hundreds that would soothe her, help her sleep, to comfort her at night.

  We lost it, once, Ava was having a fit and I was looking through the car after going to Jersey and I was sure it was left behind. She cried, stomped, threw the biggest tantrum I had ever seen. I swear to you she was like the chick from the exorcist. It was midnight and I was tired, Ash was tired, Ava was way over tired and I was outside in the snow digging through bags.

  When I found it I was so fucking happy I ran in waving that pink blanket in the air and yelled, “Bingo!”

  Ashley looked so relieved and Ava immediately stopped her sleepy tantrum. She looked up red eyed and tottled to me putting her little hands in the air, “Bingo Dada.”

  I swooped her up and held her as she loved on Bingo, grabbed Ash’s hand, pulled her up and we walked up the stairs, together, as a family. I kissed my wife’s head and smiled. That was a hell of a victory for us.

  I looked at Ava and she was out. No million stories to read, no sneaking her in her room after she fell asleep, I just laid her in her bed with Bingo and she looked so damn peaceful.

  Ash and I snuck out of her room, tiptoed out of her room so we wouldn’t wake the two and a half foot, twenty pound ruler of our world. She was exhausted, I was exhausted but I was on an adrenaline high. Fucking victory rush, and she looked good. That was the first time my wife let me in the back door. Bingo.

  I sat the
re looking at all the boxes. Boxes full of memories, of family memories, and I closed my eyes. I allowed pain to set in for two minutes, that’s all it could have me for. We were still all here. Alive, breathing, able to figure out a way to live through the hurt, rebuild our lives. Collin Abraham didn’t have that choice.

  I walked up the stairs and covered my little girl with Bingo and she didn’t stir. She did smile in her sleep and pull that blanket up to her nose, the silky part, just like she did as a baby.

  ~

  I was in the basement when Ava came down the stairs wrapped in Bingo. I was on the floor knee deep in memories and she sat next to me.

  “What are you doing Dad?” Ava called me Daddy when she was upset, or trying to get out of trouble, but right now I was Dad.

  “I was trying to find Bingo for you.” I tore my eyes off the pile before me and looked at her and smiled. “Did it help?”

  She nodded, “Yeah, but I thought we sent this to Aunt Ally when she was pregnant?”

  “Yeah, apparently she sent it back,” I winked.

  “So you lied to me?” Ava raised her eyebrows trying to act surprised.

  “Not lied, no, never.”

  She laughed, “Then what do you call it?”

  I leaned back against the bench, looked at her, and smiled. “As your father I thought it was in your best interest to not walk into the third grade with a blanket. Didn’t want you to get picked on.” She laughed. “So I devised a plan.”

  “You devised a plan huh?”

  “Sure did. Very strategic and well thought out plan. When I mentioned to you that you’re Aunt was having a baby and really needed a blanket you weren’t as receptive to the idea as I thought you’d be.”

  “I loved Bingo, still do.”

  “I know but sometimes you just gotta move on.”

  “I know.” She looked at the pile of sports awards in front of me and laughed.

  “Okay fine, maybe you just have to shelf it.”

  “So you shelved Bingo.”

  “I did. I wanted to make sure you could someday have it again if you wanted.” I reached over and tugged at Bingo, “You came to me three days later and handed her over. Tears in your eyes and a smile on your face you said to me, ‘Okay Daddy we can send it. Maybe her baby can love it now. I can’t take care of it all the time maybe the baby will love it like I used to.’ I swear you almost brought a grown man to his knees. But it was a great life lesson.”