Love You Anyways

by Mj Fields

  I was falling asleep as everyone said their goodbyes. My kids left with Jade, Ryan, Maggie, and Tessa’s boys.

  The nurse came in and checked my vitals and Tessa wrote everything she said in a notebook. She grabbed a hair tie out of her bag and pulled her hair up in a loose sloppy bun.

  “You better stop looking so damn sexy or I am not going to be able to control myself.” She smiled and laid beside me.

  “Your pain meds are gonna kick in and you’ll fall asleep.”

  “You’ll stay?”

  “Sure will. You get to go home tomorrow afternoon.”

  “And then what?”

  “Well, our old place is empty. It would be a lot easier to check on you there for the next few weeks.”

  “Few weeks.”

  “Lucas. You’re acting awfully strange now.”

  “I love you. A few weeks aren’t enough.”

  “That’s fine. We have a long time to figure it out. I want you to sleep okay?”

  “You told Landon that we loved each other in front of everyone here.”

  She smiled and rolled her eyes, “Good, now that’s out in the open.”

  “Marry me.”

  She smiled. “Soon.”

  “Hold up is that a yes?”

  “Yes but we have a lot to figure out.”

  “Like what?”

  “Homes.”

  “My kids get the house if they want it. Next.”

  “I want to wait until Collin has been gone a year.”

  “Why?”

  “Lucas…”

  “Okay fine. Where do we live?”

  “After we’re married.”

  “You’re a pain in the ass.”

  “Yes I am.”

  “Can we start over in our old place or are there to many bad memories?”

  “We’ve established that our past is our past. And neither of us would change it. We had just as many bad times as good in that house.”

  “So that’s a yes?”

  “Yes. It’s close to Harper…”

  “Will you give them your house?”

  “If they want it.”

  “If not?”

  “We could live there. Unless that would bother you.”

  “No it wouldn’t.”

  “Okay now go to sleep.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you.”

  Chapter 27

  Home

  In a month, things in my life had drastically changed. I didn’t care about any of the shit that went down with my father or the company. Bones, my right hand, Collin’s plant, was a wiz with everything you could think of. He was particularly good with computers, off shore accounts and covering his tracks. I wasn’t fond of lies but I was less fond of betrayal. I had money in the bank and more money in several other banks that would sit and earn interest enough that my children’s children would be well taken care of. Bones now ran the LLGI, almost exclusively.

  Ashley got half a million dollars and everything else she asked for, except future earnings. Money wasn’t anything. I had more than I could have ever hoped for. I didn’t need anything but Tessa, our kids, and a very bright future together.

  Tessa and I still didn’t live together but we would soon. Logan and Ava understood me not wanting the house and asked that we just hang onto it for a little longer. I understood. It was where their happy memories were, and when they were home that’s where I was.

  Tessa came up every other night and stayed until two in the morning. She wanted to be there when Piper woke up for her late night feeding. Years ago that would have made me feel like I wasn’t important, but not anymore.

  The only problem we ran into about our rekindle love was her brother-in-law Ben. And it wasn’t much trouble at all. We agreed to disagree. I wasn’t worried about him. He loved Kendall, and they had a pretty great relationship.

  I spoke to my father a few times. Once when I signed the check. Once when he was feeling sorry for what he did, yet he didn’t apologize and once when I met him face to face to hand him the photo Bones got his hands on of a twenty five year old secretary going down on him. This turned out to be the reason Landon gave his company and his sons respect up so easily. ‘Once a cheat always a cheat’ is what he said. It was his condescending tone that rubbed me the wrong way. It was as if he was telling me I would do the same thing. I knew better.

  I made sure that Audrianna found out too. She didn’t know it was me who sent it. Bones took care of it. Ashley did confront me about it, just like I knew she would. I said, “Now Ashley what would I be doing with a picture like that?” It was my way of letting her know she better do her best to not be a complete piece of shit mother. She was attending Logan’s games. A very cozy, little crew up in the box. Sometimes it was just Tessa, me, Robert, and Ashley. I would never use my love for Tessa as a way to hurt anyone, but I sure as hell wouldn’t hide it either.

  Tessa. What can I say about her that I haven’t already? She is and always was the love of my life. I was not a calming force in her life like Collin had been. But when she was down I could lift her up. When she was sad, I could hold her and let her know I was there. When she picked a fight with me, and yes I am well aware of the fact she does this purposely, I knew it was for one of two reasons. She wanted control or she wanted me. Why would she do that? Two words. Make-up. Sex. It was us, who we were and who we would always be. I would’nt change it for the world.

  I never asked her about Collin and her sexual relationship. Although I often wondered how I measured up. I’m a man; I wanted to know if my cock was bigger. But I wouldn’t ask because I was a grown up now, sort of.

  We were laying on the couch not very long after my cauterization and my hands were down the back of her yoga pants. I got a little touchy feely and she looked up at me with her raised eyebrow and shoved her hands down the back of mine.

  I was rubbing my finger from the top of her ass down to her pussy. And she was rubbing my ass cheeks. We were looking into one another’s eyes. Her eyelids would flutter ever so slightly when I pushed the tip of my finger just barely inside her. Then I would run my finger back up. I paused at her little puckered hole and press my finger against it. Her eyes would widen and her body was tense.

  I did this for the entire episode of The Voice. When it was over I decided to press in a little farther and I kissed her at the same time. She bit my tongue.

  “Does that mean no Baby?” I tried to say with my tongue clamped between her teeth.

  She let go. “It means no.”

  “What can I do to change your mind?” I asked between kisses and strategically placed finger swipes.

  “I do it to you first.”

  “Not gonna happen.” I laughed.

  She pushed me down on my back and pulled her pants off. I sat up and she climbed on me.

  “Turn around.” She did as I asked and slowly sank down on top of me. “Damn!”

  It started off with her back pressed against my chest and I was teasing her clit with one hand and playing with her nipples with the other. I kissed her neck and moved up to her ear.

  “Faster Baby.” Again she did as I asked.

  I was watching our reflection in the French doors and the way her tits jiggled made me harder.

  She reached her hand between my legs and tugged gently on my balls.

  I ran my hand between her tits and held the base of her throat in my hands. She moaned and I released her.

  “Hands on my knees and lean forward.” She continued riding me and I had the most amazing view of my cock stretching her tight little pussy.

  I grabbed her ass with both hands and I spread her wider as I thrust in her. “That’s one amazing view. Lay forward.”

  I was watching as I slid in and out of her pink wet pussy. I felt the tension building inside of me and had to stop.

  “Lucas,” she whined.

  “Baby I’m just trying to pace myself.”

  “Don’t please …”

  �
�Hands on the floor and ass in the air.”

  I moved with her not wanting to break contact. I reached around and rubbed her hard little nub and she lost control. Her knees buckled as she yelled out my name.

  “Thank God.” I held her as I rammed in and out of her until I came.

  ~

  We laid in bed. Our old bedroom in the house I built for her all those years ago.

  “I never thought I would be holding you here again.”

  “That makes two of us.”

  “I’m sorry Baby. I’m sorry that he’s gone and I am so fucking happy that I have you again. It’s …”

  “If I have to let the guilt go so do you.”

  “And that is why you are so amazing. Everything about you is so fucking amazing. I am going to worship every inch of you until I can’t anymore.”

  She smiled up at me and kissed my chest. “Me too but I have to get going.”

  “Have I mentioned that I hate this part?”

  “A million times.” She smiled and sat up.

  “We need to remedy the situation.”

  She laughed as she pulled her shirt over her head.

  “I’m serious Tessa. I can’t take not waking up with you.”

  “We’ll get there.” She pulled her pants up.

  “Baby, what if my heart just can’t take the wait?”

  “Lucas, don’t play that card it’s not fair.”

  I grumbled and sat up. “I’ll play whatever card I can.”

  I walked her down stairs and to the door. She turned and I gave her the pouty lips and the puppy dog eyes and she kissed me and laughed.

  “I’m a Mom. That look isn’t as potent as it was back then.”

  I frowned.

  “That one either. I love you Lucas. Good night.”

  “I love you anyway.”

  She laughed as she walked out the door.

  “Fuck this.” And the wheels started turning.

  ~

  I sent Tessa a message.

  -Family vacation. All of us. Thanksgiving in the Caribbean. Logan has a long weekend and I already sent a message to your kids. Just waiting for a response LYA…LL

  -You should have asked me firs LYA… TT

  -Uh huh. LYA…LL

  -It’s only two weeks away and deer season. LYA…TT

  -Already talked to John. He said yes. He is still recovering from his surgery. This way he won’t feel so bad about not being out there. Do this for John. LYA…LL

  -I know what you’re doing. LYA…TT

  -Just go with it Baby. LYA…LL

  -You can’t just leave it alone for a while longer? LYA…TT

  -Never worked out well in the past, just saying. LYA…LL

  -Don’t make this a big deal. LYA…TT

  - Me? You know better than that. LYA…LL

  -I’m warning you. LYA…TT

  -I’m shaking in my shoes Baby. LYA…LL

  I had already asked her kids and mine and gotten their blessing. They all would be there to support us.

  I asked John too. This time I was doing it right and he laughed and said yes.

  I blew Tessa off for two days. I wanted her to miss me. To sit and think about what was going to happen. To have the time to grieve if she needed and the time to look forward to what was to come.

  Next I decided it best to send the Links Construction crew a letter letting them know I was getting married. It’s the right thing to do right? I didn’t ask them to come. I actually didn’t even tell them the date.

  Two days later I received a package. Inside it was the necklace I had given Tessa when her team won the State Championships in field hockey back in high school. There were diamond earrings, a bracelet, and the ring I had made for her when I asked her to marry me the second time. There was also a note.

  I held onto these and now I know why. I am sorry things are so horrible between us now. I want nothing more than love for you.

  Some of us aren’t strong enough to take a step at true happiness and a lifetime of knowing every day when we wake up that we are exactly where we were meant to be. I know it’s a choice and a fight and something different. Something rare. Something that doesn’t always happen because we try to make it what we want. Not what is best and right for the other person.

  Tessa Ross has loved you forever. And I know you have loved her for the same amount of time. The rare thing I spoke of is fate. Fate has brought you back together; Strength has made you not give up. Love in its truest most beautiful form will ensure a lifetime of happiness for the two of you.

  I am sorry about what Ashley has done to you. What we all have done. I am so sorry Tessa lost Collin. He was a good man. I am sorry that all of that happened to both of you.

  But I am so happy Lucas that you now have a family that you deserve. A woman who has treasured your friendship and kept you in her life because you are worth it. She sees in you what so many other failed to recognize.

  Congratulations Lucas.

  I love you.

  Audrianna

  Epilogue

  Two weeks ago I walked into the house and saw Lucas staring at a letter. He didn’t even look up at me. He hadn’t noticed I walked in. I saw a single tear falling down his cheek.

  “Lucas?”

  He jumped when I said his name and quickly wiped away the tear.

  “Hey Baby.” He turned his chair and pulled me down on his lap and nuzzled into my neck.

  “Talk to me.”

  “Do you have any idea how much I love you. Do you have any idea how much you mean to me Tessa?” He didn’t let me respond. “You and my kids are everything to me. I have no one else that matters…”

  “Lucas …”

  “No hear me out. I don’t give a fuck about any of it. You, my kids, your kids, Piper, the whole Ross clan. It’s all I need. You are all I ever needed. Not any of the other shit. Not football. Not dozens of women. Not drugs. I know this, hell I have known it but. Fuck, Baby you have no idea how much I love you. It’s never gonna change just get stronger.” He kissed me hard on the mouth and then pulled back. “Check this out.”

  He handed me the necklace he gave me in high school. Two field hockey sticks crossing and it was engraved. LYA.

  “I know our past sucked a lot of the time but it got us here.” He clipped it around my neck.

  “Then the earrings. You were so afraid it was gonna be another ring, will you wear them?”

  “Of course.” He helped me put them on.

  “The bracelet too Baby. Remember this? A birthday gift?”

  I held my wrist out and he clasped it on. “It’s beautiful.”

  I leaned forward and kissed his lips.

  “Then there’s this.” He held up the ring and I held out my hand. “I wanna get you a new one.”

  “I don’t need a new one.”

  “You sure?”

  “We’ve talked about this. Regretting any of it takes away the things we love. I will never stop loving Collin. I hope that doesn’t upset you.”

  “Not at all. It’s who you are Tessa. You love forever.”

  “I do.”

  “Not yet.” He pushed me up and knelt in front of me. ”Tess Ross Abraham will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

  “Yes.”

  He laughed as he took my hand. Collin’s ring was still on my finger. I looked at it and felt sadness creeping in.

  He took my hand and kissed my ring. “Give me the other.”

  “Lucas…”

  “No. I don’t want you to take it off. Give me the other hand.”

  He pushed the ring on my finger and stood up and spun me around. I kissed him and he set me on my feet. I started to pull his shirt off and he stopped me.

  “Not until it’s official.”

  I laughed thinking he was joking.

  “Not chancing it Baby.”

  “Oh so you’re going all traditional on me?”

  “Sure am. I asked your father, your kids, God.” He laughed.


  “You did?”

  “I did.”

  I bit my lip and looked down at his pants.

  “Not fair. Sit down and look at this.”

  I sat on his lap and looked at the computer screen. “BlueBay Villas Dorados in Puerto Rico.”

  “Bluebay. I like it.”

  “Perfect because that’s where you’ll become Mrs. Lucas Links and where you’ll get off again.”

  ~

  I looked in the mirror at myself. I was wearing a plan white slip dress that hit above my knees and silver sandals. I was ready to do this but there was one small part of me that still felt it was too soon. Dad had told me I needed to be less hard on myself and accept that God gave me a heart big enough to truly love twice.

  I walked out towards the archway that was wrapped in white linens. As I got closer I saw my sons standing at the edge of the wooden slate walkway waiting to give me away. I took their arms and walked onto the sand and looked up at everyone standing in front of the chairs draped in white cloth and tied in light blue ribbons. I immediately thought of Collin. I felt the heat build in my chest and slowed down.

  The sky darkened or I thought it did and I looked up as a light drizzle of rain began to fall. My heart hurt and I immediately thought of Collin crying. I looked at the boys and then at the ground.

  “Mom.” CJ whispered.

  “Mom, he want’s this for you. We want this for you.” Matthew whispered.

  “I…it’s raining we should wait.”

  “Mom. Look at Lucas standing there waiting, do you want the guy to have another heart attack?” CJ laughed.

  “Mom look at Lucas.” Matthew laughed out loud. “You really need to look at him, or above him.”

  “No shit,” CJ gasped.

  I looked up at Lucas. He had on a white linen shirt and khaki pants. He gave me a concerned smile and then winked and held out his hand. God he was perfect now. He didn’t deserve this.

  “Mom look up.” Matthew laughed.

  I looked up and saw a rainbow and couldn’t help but laugh. Lucas smile broadened and I pointed to the sky. He looked up and smiled.

  “Baby I’ll wait forever.” He yelled to me. “But I can’t promise I can make that happen again. I mean I’m good but not that good.”